Boundaries – Lesson 9 TW Class 2014

Boundaries – Lesson 9 TW Class 2014

Chapter 25 - Godly Boundaries - Broadening? Or...?
Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
    you make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
    surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 16:5-6
Boundaries…we have been talking about them since our orientation week. They are fundamental to a godly life and eating is no exception. Eating without boundaries gets us to places we don’t want to go! Eating within the boundaries of hunger and satisfaction is a wonderful goal for us, honoring our body’s requirements and the way our amazing God has created us. Truly, this is a wonderful, pleasant boundary. No more diets! No more restriction! No more obsession! It is my hope that you are experiencing the blessing of living within God’s boundaries for your life.
This week’s video is so special to me! I am definitely eager to feature other people in the videos that we supply to encourage you on your journey. Last week, I traveled with my husband to the Chicago area where I was able to meet up with Cathy Maher, a new facilitator of Thin Within classes online. She let me twist her arm into being in this week’s video with me! Cathy is still taking sign-ups for her Workbook #1 online study, so hurry over to the sign-up page and click the link to register!

This Week’s Video:

http://youtu.be/SjSdjhJnOmw

 

There are more video questions than normal this week.  The reason for that is that Cathy is a fount of wisdom, knowledge, ideas, and inspiration. I want to be sure to “milk” our video interview for all we possibly can. If it seems like too much, then just do what you can.

Video Questions:

1.  What is Cathy’s definition of a boundary? (0:43)

2.  How do you identify with Cathy’s definition? What is the parameter that you have for yourself with regard to your eating?

3. Cathy referenced 2 Timothy 1:7 at 1:15. Look this up in your bible and evaluate the place that fear, power, love and a sound mind might have in your Thin Within journey.

4. From 1:33 to 1:45 Cathy mentions some reasons that we may have trouble with “finding” our 5 boundary lines. What are some of the reasons she describes? Are any of these possibly keeping you from “finding” 5?

5. What does Cathy suggest will make the difference for us to be able to recognize our “5?” (1:50-1:59)

6. What role does evening eating have in your difficulties with staying within the godly boundaries of 0 and 5 for your eating? What would happen if you created a secondary boundary of not eating after dinner unless you had a very insistent “0?”

7. How can using Truth Cards assist you in accepting the truth of your identity and help you no longer to break your 0 and 5 boundaries?

8. Cathy’s 0 to 5 boundary has had to shift, as she has discovered she has food sensitivities. What has helped her the most? (4:46)

9. At 5:17 Cathy speaks about her struggle with condemnation and how she has broken free from it. Can you identify with what she shares? How would adopting a personal boundary about rejecting condemning thoughts help you?

10. At 6:12 to 7:53, Cathy mentions a relatively new boundary for her regarding the scale. How can you identify with what she shares? Should you adopt a boundary relative to the bathroom scale? How might that actually serve your boundary of eating within 0 and 5? How has using the bathroom scale helped you? How has it hurt you?

11. At 8:48 to 8:55 Cathy says she had to redefine what a good evening is about, what time with her husband was about. How can you change the definition of what a good evening is for you to honor your godly eating boundaries? How can you change what it means to bond with your loved ones and friends to honor your godly eating boundaries?

12.  One of Cathy’s earliest boundaries (she has released 30 pounds so far!) was her body would belong to God. In fact, she asserts at 10:52 that it is a “necessary boundary to do this program.” If you struggle consistently with respecting your godly boundaries, perhaps this is the most fundamental boundary that you could establish that might help. What are your thoughts about this? Your fears? Your concerns?

13. Cathy shares some tips at the end of the video. The first is to “Keep it Simple.” How might you apply this tip from Cathy? The second is to “Make it Personal.” What changes could you make to approach Thin Within in a more personal way, welcoming God’s Truth to come deeply into your own heart uniquely?

14. Another tip Cathy shares is to pray for discernment and pray for a willing spirit. Can you carve this into your time with the Lord each day, to include a request for discernment and willingness?

15. Cathy’s final tip is to “Go Easy.” What are ways that you are too hard on yourself? What can you do instead? Even if you have not lost weight in a week’s time, what other changes might you take note of? (12:23)

16. At 12:34 we dialog a bit about a boundary of “What will I call progress?” This is where I refuse to use numbers or weights or sizes to evaluate our progress given that God is doing so much more in our lives than just weight/size. What are some of the things in your life that God has been doing?

Renewing the Mind – Pressing On

1. What is true about failure? Take some time to generate a list of what is TRUE about “failure” on this journey…and tell yourself the truth. If you need help with this, just ask. Failure is NOT an undertaker, but is one of the best teachers we have going!
2. If you haven’t started using Barb’s book or iTunes app yet, now is the time! Make the final 4 weeks of this class your best yet by using her material to renew your mind.

Pick One (book or workbook):

Trade Book Assignment – To Be Completed by March 10th

  • Here is the Thin Within Book Study Guide Week 9 . Feel free to discuss it at our Facebook group or here! THIS WEEK, we will have a drawing for one of Barb’s books. The comments made last week and those made this week … all names will be put in a drawing to win either Taste for Truth or I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies That Make You Eat! Comment on this blog post or any others this week or last in order to be put in the drawing. You can enter more than once, too. 🙂

Workbook Assignment – To Be Completed by March 10th.

1. Read, highlight, mark 🙂 Lesson 9,Boundaries, on pages D3 – D8 or listen to it or download it from Sound Cloud.  Discuss it here in the comments section below this post or at our Class Facebook Group.
2. Complete the exercises for Lesson 9 on pages D10 – D16. Don’t worry if you are behind. Just do what you can of this week’s material. Next Monday before the webinar, respond to the Review questions on page D17 or even better–do so at our Facebook discussion group.
3. List 10 attributes of God that have ministered the most to your heart. Have a praise fest, saying back to Him these attributes and thanking him for how they have ministered to you. Share here at the blog how this impacts you.
4. Use the entries for Day 57 through Day 63 in the Temple Tool Kit. All the tools have been introduced to you now. Remember, only use them if God leads you to do so. If you have the freedom, try a new one this week. Don’t forget that the Thin Within app includes all the Sound Cloud files, YouTube videos, and the tools!
5. Memorize 1 Corinthians 6:12. Personalize it and add it to your truth cards.
6. Join us on March 10th for our live webinar at 4:30 Pacific Time. We will be wrapping up lesson 9 on Boundaries.

How About You?

One of the things I love about Barb Raveling’s book is how she helps us to see that boundaries are really what this is all about. Will we live according to the boundaries that God has so lovingly offered us? Or will we blow through our boundaries again and again? Do you need to take time to sit with the Lord and evaluate if 0 to 5 eating (between hunger and satisfaction) is something that you are convicted are from God for you? If you know that this is your primary boundary then creating secondary boundaries to help support you in your pursuit of honoring this godly boundary seems no where near so laborious. It becomes a joy to submit to the Lord in this way!

Lesson 8’s webinar recording is available here.
Seeking First the Kingdom of God ~ Guest Post by Brenda Ameli

Seeking First the Kingdom of God ~ Guest Post by Brenda Ameli

FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image Source: Digidreamgrafix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have worked through all four of the Thin Within workbooks.

I have worked through the Thin Within book.

I have led Thin Within groups three times in the last ten years.

I am a certified Wellness Coach and Pilates instructor.

I teach.

I KNOW this stuff!

And yes, here I am, still yearning for freedom, still waiting on God. Still wondering when I will be set free from struggling with excess eating and excess body weight.

Perhaps it’s precisely because I am immersed in the world of fitness that I am easily distracted and find it hard to keep my eyes fixed on the path that I know is the only way to freedom in this.

A few months ago I invested in a season of private coaching with Heidi Bylsma; a very wise decision!  I remember sending her my daily logs with my “hunger numbers”—almost always reporting 0 to 5 eating.  And yet I saw no weight loss and felt no progress happening.  Heidi pointed out the discrepancy. ☺  As is the way of a good coach, Heidi put the observation out there and left it to me to wrestle with:  “Brenda, you report eating within your chosen boundary of 0 to 5 on a consistent basis, yet you say you are not seeing the results you’d hoped for.”

In my wrestling, I decided I needed to more clearly define a “5.” Obviously I was eating past 5, so in my mind the solution was to get better at stopping at a 5.

One morning God turned the light on for me; all I had worked on with Heidi became clear as I read through the book of Joshua.

I came to the part where the land is being divided up between the tribes of Israel. I noticed how clear and precise the boundaries were and I started thinking how boundaries are important to God—God gives us boundaries for our safety, health and because He knows what is truly good for us.

In Joshua 18 the Scripture tells us that there were still seven Israelite tribes who had not received their inheritance. And Joshua says to them, ” How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the Lord the God of your ancestors has given you?”

God spoke to me through that—How long am I going to wait until I do MY part to take possession of the freedom that God has given me?

It’s my inheritance!

God has given it to me, but it is up to me to do my due diligence and receive what God has for me.

For me, at this point in my journey, trying to more precisely define  a “5” on the hunger scale is not where God wants my focus.

I believe He is showing me that my part is to do what it takes to place myself before Him every single day for the renewing of my mind; soaking in the truth of His Word, writing Truth Cards as a daily practice, being honest about where I am spiritually and what I am doing, as well as what I am eating.

Sunday morning at church God again spoke to me—this time through a guest speaker.  She was teaching from Genesis chapters 2 and 3, and she came to Chapter 3 verses 8 and 9, where Adam and Eve have disobeyed God and eaten from the one tree in the garden that He had forbidden.  In verse 9 God calls out to Adam, saying, “Where are you?

I believe that God is asking that of me as well.  “Where are you with ME, Brenda?”   Are you living in all the abundance I have given you, or are you in a place of rebellion?  What tree are you choosing?”

To me it’s a really big deal is that I finally have taken my eyes off of seeking weight loss above everything– although I haven’t given up and I do still want it.  It’s that now I am seeking FIRST the kingdom of God;  seeking GOD through specific, daily practices so that my focus turns away from food and body obsession.

I have learned that the daily practices of prayer, Bible reading, writing and reading Truth Cards, praising God in song, lifting my face to Him will bring about the renewing of my mind and the transforming of my heart, my body, and my life.  And then eating within the boundaries of 0 to 5 will be a natural result of my decision to claim my inheritance and choose the abundant life He alone offers.

Brenda~ Brenda Ameli. Brenda lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, teaching mind body movement and leading the women’s ministry at her church.

How About You?

Is it possible that “thin” or “0” or “5” has actually become a distraction from what God wants for you? Does God want you to focus elsewhere? What might responding to His invitation in this look like for you?

8 Affirmations to Move Forward

8 Affirmations to Move Forward

Image courtesy of Janaka Dharmasena at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Janaka Dharmasena at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

On Saturday, I posted that I am declaring war on apathy.  Even veterans find they can slip into periods of apathy or…downright disobedience. One of my new strategies for amping up my focus is to call it what it is…rebellion, resistance, disobedience. I know what God has called me to. Allowing myself to justify “little waverings” outside of his call is flat out disobedience.

So, my battle plan is concrete, specific.

One part of it requires that I journal two sets of questions from Barb Ravelings book, I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies that Make You Eat, each day. Once in the morning…before I am tempted to eat outside of my boundaries–in fact, before I have eaten at all. Then, I do another set before dinner–again…before I am tempted at all.

Sunday morning, these are the affirmations that resulted from doing the “Failure Eating” questions in her book. Do any of them fit for you? If so, they could become your own affirmations right now:

1. I am not a person who can follow my boundaries flawlessly without ever breaking them. The Lord, however, wants me to press on each and every time I do break them. Enough of the perfectionism! The sad truth that I have to accept right from the beginning is that I WILL mess up. So what will I do when I mess up? Quit? What kind of sense does that make? (None!)

2. I can’t change the way I ate yesterday or last week. I can’t change the consequences of those choices. What’s done is done. Instead, the Lord provides the strength now to enable me to care todayRIGHT NOW.  I will press on. I will give my best to living according to my boundaries today. I DO care. I will eat according to what my body needs and when my spirit and heart are “hungry,” I will feed them what they need…which is not physical food! While I am free to eat desserts, I have allowed desserts to master me once again. I am choosing now to submit this issue to the Lord. He alone will master me. Desserts are now put in their proper place…into submission to God. I will exercise my freedom by choosing not to have dessert foods in my home right now for this season. I  will remember that I AM IN A SPIRITUAL BATTLE!

3. God wants me to fight in the strength he provides with the weapons he provides, so I will.

4. By choosing to take the route of pressing on and in (instead of giving up), I will not regret it one bit. The Lord gives me the strength I need. Even if I stumble today, I will NOT throw in the towel and give in to eat what I want the rest of the day. I will, instead, take captive my thoughts, my desires and submit them to Him. He receives me and loves me..

5. I am committed to living a life with boundaries for the rest of my life so I will stop breaking them and acting like it is no big deal. I will accept that I will always have to have boundaries in this area of my life. I am not the type of person who can be healthy–emotionally, spiritually, and physically–without boundaries in my eating. I must come to terms with that. Accept it. Rejoice! God has used this difficulty to foster deep intimacy with me!

6.  I choose to STOP BREAKING MY BOUNDARIES. I choose to stop minimizing choices outside of my boundaries!

7. A few months down the road…if I start now afresh to press on and keep my boundaries, I will be more mature spiritually and emotionally and I will have peace about where I am physically, too. God is changing me.

8. When I think of what I will gain, it is worth the sacrifice to follow my boundaries right this minute and for the rest of this day. The more I live according to my boundaries, the less difficult it becomes. But this doesn’t mean it will ever stop being a challenge. There will always be food I want to eat that my body doesn’t need.

Romans 6:1-2 – I have died to sin. I will not go on living in it.

Romans 13:14 – I choose to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and to make NO provision for my flesh and its lusts!

I will stop focusing on the physical battle…that seems so negotiable depending on how eager I am to look different. I will choose instead to focus on the spiritual battle, knowing that this has eternal ramifications. The physical battle has to do with my physical size and is almost totally inconsequential! The spiritual battle–that of breaking free from the control of food–is extremely significant. I want nothing but the Lord Jesus Christ to master me.

How About You?

If you haven’t gotten Barb’s book yet, I strongly urge you to do so. It is an amazing tool.

Which set of questions will you journal through today?

What affirmations can you list that will support you in your renewed determination to live according to your godly boundaries?

NOTE: If you would like to participate in an online Thin Within class (no charge for the class—you need only purchase Workbook Kit #1), visit this post for details about a class starting on January 6th.

Doing Battle – Even a Veteran Has to!

Doing Battle – Even a Veteran Has to!

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Christina posted yesterday about the spiritual warfare she is experiencing lately.

I am in the trenches, too. Even though I may be a “veteran” and have been at this a loooooong time, I nevertheless go through seasons of difficulty. To be honest, this is the most challenging I have ever experienced.

As a result, I have been struggling with an ungodly behavior pattern in the evenings. It is a pattern of not caring nearly so much about obedience as I do to use food to deal with life…to cope!

My accountability partner challenged me to truth journal even several times each week, knowing that God has used it in such an amazing way with me in the past. I am so grateful for this challenge and have since decided that I need to do it every day.

To coddle myself into being willing to do this, though, I told myself when the urge to eat outside of my boundaries hit in the evening, “I can eat after I truth journal…” This is a strategy I learned from Barb Raveling in her Taste for Truth Bible Study material (have I ever confessed to you all that I wish I had written that study? LOL!). After I have truth journaled or used another method to renew my mind, I often don’t want to eat outside of my godly boundaries after all–which is, of course, the point. As warped as this sounds, this causes me to be more willing to truth journal. It is almost like in my old-way-of-thinking-now-resurfacing, I tell myself I get a food reward for truth journaling! Crazy, right? Especially given all the things I share here at the blog. By telling myself I can ignore :-/  my boundaries if I want to after I have done some of the nitty gritty renewing of the mind work, I end up being more willing to live within the boundaries God has established for me. After I truth journal, my heart has a different focus and I feel as though I have feasted. My hungry heart has been fed a rich, nutritious “meal” of what it really longed for.

In this pretty intimate video (that I have designated as “unlisted” at YouTube), I share with you as the struggle unfolds. I give you a glimpse into the battle that is raging for me (even by the light of the Christmas tree) and what I am doing about it in real time. I also tell what happened after I renewed my mind.

I hope it is encouraging to you. There is really no way around the hard work of training our minds to think differently. THIS will cause lasting change.

If you get blog notifications in email, you will have to visit the blog for the video to display correctly.

How About You?

What work are you willing to go to in order to REALLY beat the tendency to eat outside of 0 and 5?

Get Rid of “The Little Foxes!”

Between the Vines - Artist: Carl Brenders

Between the Vines – Artist: Carl Brenders

Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes
that ruin the vineyards,
our vineyards that are in bloom.
Song of Solomon 2:15

…A taste of the spaghetti sauce while it is simmering…”SooOOOOooo good!,” …it requires another taste and just one more!

…A french fry (or two…or six!) from a family member’s “Happy Meal”…”Ooh! I need me some of these!”

…Just one more handful of popcorn at the movies…”Ok, well, maybe one more….”

While it is certainly true that Solomon probably didn’t have these scenarios in mind when he penned the request to “Catch for us the foxes that ruin the vineyards,” there is definitely an interesting principle that we can draw from the biblical context of the verse.

Small foxes can ruin a wonderfully good thing.

Do you find that you aren’t quite experiencing the physical results that you feel you should be as you apply yourself to eating between physical hunger and satisfaction? While it is my deepest heart’s desire to convey that this journey is about SO much more than food and weight, the fact does remain–at least in part–most of us chose to connect with Thin Within in the first place because we felt that we could/should be a smaller size than we were (I know this isn’t true of everyone…many of you hope to be willing to eat what God calls you to eat instead of restricting).

It IS true that God may be teaching you personally that HIS desire for you is to be content at a certain size instead of something as small as you had hoped, but if the size that you think you are supposed to accept contributes to extreme health problems, perhaps there is still yet work to do. If you aren’t seeing some progress in letting go of the physical weight, I want to suggest that you evaluate:

Are there little foxes ruining this vineyard?

It takes a lot of work to get a vineyard to produce! The worst thing to a vineyard owner is to put all that time, money, and effort into having a producing vineyard only to have the little foxes ruin it all. Charles Wesley is credited to have said:

Spoil vines –  foxes do this many ways, by gnawing and breaking the little branches and leaves, by digging holes in the vineyards, and so spoiling the roots. Tender grapes – Which are easily spoiled, if great care be not used to prevent it.

I realized that the little foxes running amok in my life and my attempts to adhere to the principles and boundaries that God has led me to embrace (0 to 5 eating) were a problem for me. I had waited for my definitive hunger signal at one particular lunchtime. I eagerly put left over Mexican food in the oven to heat up. Even as I set the timer for 15 minutes, I realized that my hunger was INCESSANT!  I reached for small fox #1…a few chips. “Yum!” Then small fox #2…A cookie. “Yes, perfect!” Small fox #3…A bite of frosting from the jar…”That will do.”

All three foxes had dashed through before the meal emerged from the oven. By the time my leftovers were heated, I wasn’t hungry any longer and the amount of food that I had placed in the oven was based on my eating it from hunger to satisfaction…not from whatever-hunger-number-I-was-at-currently to a 5. Meaning, by eating the amount I had prepared, I was almost assuredly overeating! Being a “veteran” Thin Withinner I had put a fist sized portion in the oven, but only now I needed to be honest…there was a “three-finger sized” amount of space left in my stomach!

This didn’t happen just once before I became aware of the little foxes, either. It happened numerous times…each time with the justification of “Well, I am hungry!'” The truth is, if all of those little bites were going to be a part of my meal—used to satisfy my hunger—they needed to be considered. The portion I was yet waiting on from the oven might not even be necessary at all!

Having shared this with some of my coaching clients who have lamented that they wonder about their physical results not being quite what they had hoped, they have approached their eating with additional vigilance. You know what has happened? You guessed it. The physical changes are happening once again.

How About You?

On your way to your God-given natural size, every so often you might have to re-evaluate, refine, hone in on what is going on. Is it possible that you could benefit from evaluating if the little foxes are ruining your hard work? They can be quite subtle and we tend to justify and minimize them. Consider this thought, though…When we justify them not only do those small bites here and there represent energy that we are consuming that our body may not need, but might it also be adding a little bit of hardening to our hearts spiritually speaking? Maybe we can ask God to make us sensitive to His leading so that we get rid of the little foxes and welcome His Presence as the good Vinedresser that He is into our Vineyard!

What “little foxes” do you need to catch?