Week 2 REMIX! – Boundaries and Making the Plan

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Here is a sound file that explains what I hope ALL of us (even those not involved in the bible study) will do! (Email subscribers need to visit the blog site to access the sound file):

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/98266648″ params=”” width=” 100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

Our goals this week are:

1.) Establish our primary and secondary boundaries.

Mine are:

  • Primary Boundary – Eat 0 to 5
  • Secondary Boundaries – 1.) Eat only when sitting down (sitting in the car doesn’t count! :-)) 2.) Eat only when my mind and body are relaxed

2.)  Establish our plan for renewing our minds.

Mine looks like this and I will send a report to my accountability partner each day about these things as well:

  • Renew my mind with my Eating Truth Cards each morning.
  • Listen to my Truth Play List at least once during the day.
  • Review/Scan or re-read highlights in my cards between 4 and 6pm each day.

You can do this, too.

What is your primary boundary? This one’s easy–If you are a Thin Within participant, you will want to have this one be “To eat 0 to 5” or something like that.

What will your two secondary boundaries be this week? Remember that secondary boundaries support your ability to live within your primary boundary. Any of the Keys to Conscious Eating can work. “To have the TV off when eating,” or something like that can work, too!

What will your plan be to renew your mind? Remember, renewing the mind is something we are doing so we can think differently–specifically, so we can think God’s thoughts about something, in this case, 0 to 5 eating, or our bodies, or food generally…or something like that! I have made my truth cards specifically about eating 0 to 5 since that is my primary boundary. More on that in our online class. We talked about ways of renewing our minds agin the online class for this week. Here is that video:

Barb has a page for Renewing Your Mind Tools. You can get some great ideas there.

Week 2 – Boundaries & Making the Plan – Thin Within Support

Daisy and the Buck

Daisy and the Buck

Without the boundary of this fence, Daisy, my golden retriever, would (no doubt) get even CLOSER to this buck than you see in this image. From her perspective, I have little doubt that the fence “stands in the way” of much fun! The truth is, the fence–a boundary–keeps harm out (deer can be deadly) and keeps what is worth protecting safe within–safe from straying.

This week, you will develop your plan including having a good look at your own boundaries relative to your Thin Within journey. We will use a lot of Barb’s material to help with this. Before you go on over to her site, though, I want to lay some ground work.

Please watch this short (4 minute) video first:

To register for this week’s class Wednesday at 3:00pm Pacific Time (OR the digital recording), please visit this link: http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=E956D880834D3A NOTE: When you select a password, please do NOT forget it! It will be necessary for you to access the class AND the digital recording after the class is over!

Take a moment to jot down in your journal (or think about) what you think is true about boundaries. Do you believe that they are there to protect you? To keep OUT influences that could damage you? To keep you IN, from wandering off on a path that would be destructive for you?

Or are you more likely to consider boundaries with resentment–as something that denies you something as if “God is holding out” on you?

Ask God to show you the truth about boundaries. Jot down what he impresses upon you. You might want to put them in your index cards if you are using them: “What is true about boundaries in my life.”

IMPORTANT: When I reference you to a page at Barb’s site, please know that there is a TON of incredible material there. For the purposes of our study, though,  I will include the links here each week for any of the pages that are “vital” to our study this summer. The other links, you are welcome, of course, to explore. But please know that with so much wonderful material at her site, you can spend HOURS on it! ALL of it is good. Do what you feel God leading you to do of course, but any page that I think is foundational to our study here this summer, I will include as you will see below. For this week’s assignment, please be sure to do any of the linked pages that I include.

The foundational part of our study this week uses this post from Barb’s website.

This has several parts to it, so please spread it out over the week:

1.) In her post under THE PLAN, Barb links you to her post about boundaries. You can read that or not, but most of the information that you need is likely to be in the video above. So if you are short on time, you don’t need to read it.

2.) She also includes a link to a post on secondary boundaries. Unless what I have shared in the video is “murky,” you probably don’t need to read that post either. If you are short on time, I think you will be ok without reading that, though it is definitely helpful! For our purposes, if you are uncertain about what might help you to maintain your primary boundary of 0 to 5 eating, you can use the Keys to Conscious Eating. Keys 1 and 8 are the primary boundary. Keys 2 – 7 are ideas for secondary boundaries. If you are using a set of spiral bound index cards or using a binder ring with index cards (whatever your method), then you might want to write down on a card “MY PRIMARY BOUNDARY: _________________.” And on another card “MY SECONDARY BOUNDARIES: ____________________” I don’t recommend more than 2 or 3 secondary boundaries and you can add new ones or change them as you go.

3.) Barb also has a link to Renewing the Mind Goal. THIS ONE, IS IMPORTANT TO OUR STUDY this summer. In fact, it is foundational to our summer study. So please DO read it and do the activities. (Yes, I just included the link to the same page THREE times. I don’t want you to miss it, that this is important.) There are lots of great links even in the post on the renewing of the mind goal. Again, the links to other posts are helpful, but not vital, so if you are short on time, don’t do them. If you are using a set of index cards that are hole-punched or spiral bound, then write your Renewing of the Mind Goal down on your cards. If you aren’t using the cards, that is ok. But I suggest you jot it down somewhere. NOTE: In our online class last week, we had the pleasure of having Barb Raveling in attendance (you can still get the recording of the class if you want). I realized as she shared that my way of thinking about the renewing of the mind goal was different than what she speaks of in her blog. Maybe *both* can work. My way of thinking of it has been to pick something that you know you need to think differently about, like, for instance, “I need to think differently about having sweet foods after lunch and dinner.” What I want to think instead about desserts is that “I can live without desserts.” Another one might be, “It takes less food than I think to satisfy me.” So my goal is to change my thinking about dessert or about portions. Barb’s use of it is helpful in being quantifiable…”I will renew my mind twice each day about dessert/portion size.” You can use a combination of both ways of thinking if you like or just use Barb’s mentioned in her post!

4.) Under her heading THE CHALLENGE, you can have a look at her post about 8 Questions to Ask When You Don’t Want to Renew Your Mind. This isn’t required, but it can be EXTREMELY helpful. (I have not included the link because I will include the link to the pages directly only if they are foundational to our study.) I have written these 8 questions down in my card set as I think they are so good.

5.) Do her ASSIGNMENT in her Day One post, including her #2 item: Working With God on Your Goal. This was originally intended, I think, for New Years, but it is helpful to our summer study. All of this work right now is to lay the foundation for our summer study. Doing this work will be very helpful. Future assignments (starting next week) won’t be as lengthy (I think!).

6.) Continuing on her Day One study, you will want to complete the Following Your Boundaries Questions questions. PLEASE don’t skip this set of questions as, again, this is foundational to the rest of the summer. In fact, you might want to keep these questions handy. Any time you find yourself not wanting to adhere to your 0 to 5 boundaries and your secondary boundaries, pulling out these questions can help you get focused again, willing again!

7.) I would love to hear from you in the COMMENTS below about any of the following:

  • What is your Renewing of the Mind Goal? 
  • What secondary boundaries have you selected that will support your primary boundary of eating 0 to 5?
  • Which of her renewing of the mind tools will be helpful to you?

8.) If you would like, attend the class this Wednesday at 3pm-4pm Pacific time to discuss this material. The class costs $5. If you can’t attend, but want the digital recording of the class, the cost is the same. Both those who want to attend the class live and those who want the recording only, will need to register at http://www.anymeeting.com/AccountManager/RegEv.aspx?PIID=E956D880834D3A

The Last Bite is “Hard to Do!”

"Heart Lice"

We hate to say good-bye, don’t we? My daughter left three weeks ago for a summer program in Wheaton Illinois and now she and her classmates are in England–London–and will be in Oxford. I won’t see her for another month. Saying goodbye to her three weeks ago was so painful as I knew I wouldn’t get to see her for a looong time and we would be separated by a “big blue wet thing”–the ocean!

Whether it is a precious family member, a friend, or that last bite, we hate saying good-bye, don’t we? We hate it when that last bite comes! We want to prolong the eating experience as long as we can, so we have “just one more bite” and “just one more bite” after that and so on. We don’t want to have to say “good-bye” to our meal time enjoyment.

This audio shares some truth you can speak to yourself about this.

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/97877727″ params=”” width=” 100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

Summary: Eat half as much, twice as slowly and you land on the last bite at the same moment, but with the joy and victory of having not eaten more than your body needs for fuel! There is JOY and satisfaction in that place! Peace comes with submitting to the Lord’s leadership in this.

How about you…can you do anything to eat more slowly and to tell yourself the truth about the quantity of food that it really takes to satisfy? We aren’t talking about “full,” here. Nope. We are talking about “just enough.” It doesn’t take much!

Encouragement from YOU!

Doc and Heidi Rebuild Trust

Doc and Heidi Rebuild Trust

I get so much encouragement from you all. Sometimes, you encourage me in your texts or emails. Sometimes in your comments here. I want to share some of these tidbits of encouragement with anyone who comes to the blog.

Last week, Michelle posted a comment that bears highlighting.

When faced with an “opportunity” to eat something–anything–when you are not hungry, but especially when a sudden “surprise goody” is made available, ask yourself this:

“If I eat that, then what?”

Will I only eat one (whatever it is)? Or will that send me down the path of eating even more? What will the rest of the day look like if I continue that way?

What if I were to, instead, invite God into this moment? Could it be an opportunity to grow in my intimacy with him?

Thanks, Michelle!

Adriane created another Sound Cloud file that I must share with you!

We have to hang in there. We *can* do this. We *can* train ourselves in godliness. Adriane points this out beautifully!

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/93526121″ params=”” width=” 100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

What do you need to do today to “get back on that horse?”

When Your HEAD says, “I Want Food…”

cookies

Photo Courtesy of Photo Stock Exchange

Before launching into this blog post, please respond to the poll below:

[polldaddy poll=7120202]

Accountability page is here.

Now, on to our post for today! 😀

You have  courageously and energetically run errands all day.

The day has been productive! You are pleased with all that you accomplished.

Now, you are headed for home, returning as the “conquering hero” having defeated the “To Do” list that loomed larger than life at dawn’s first light.

Negotiating the curb into the driveway,  before you get to the front door, the scent of chocolate chip cookies wafts across the air, superseding even the floral scent of the gardenias. Instantly, your mouth is flooded with liquid anticipation!

Stepping inside, you survey the kitchen. Eyes scan the counter-top. Evidence indicates that your teen-aged daughter has dealt with her after school snack needs by making chocolate chip cookies which are still warm on the cookie sheet. Only one cookie is missing…your daughter’s modest “snack” which, you quickly muse, “She never learned that from me!”

Yummy food! Yours for the taking!

What happens next?

If this happened to you, what really would happen next?

We could have a plan in place for our victory! I would love to see in the comments below what plan, what action steps, might enable you to emerge from this altercation the victor!

Of course, this could become one of those “Yummy Food Eating” or “Good Food Eating” moments that we studied in Barb Raveling’s bible study. It is also what we might consider “Head Hunger.” The food is there, the moment is ripe, we want it. (I can almost hear Gollum from Lord of the Rings rasping his “The Preccccciousssss….we wants it we does…”)

There isn’t really anything necessarily deeper operating. No feeling of “I deserve this!” or “I am angry at my husband for the comment he made about my hips. I’ll show HIM!” 🙂 This time, there isn’t any “poor me” thoughts. No, we didn’t have a terrible day, we don’t feel sad, frustrated or have any other obvious emotion. We just see the food and want it. In fact, chocolate chip cookies weren’t on our minds until we smelled them.

What is true at moments like this:

1.) We don’t have to eat every good thing that  we stumble upon.

2.) If I am not physically hungry food–no matter how good it may be–won’t taste nearly as good as it will if I wait until I am physically (stomach empty) hungry to eat it!

3.) The chocolate chip cookies (or whatever food it is) are not going to disappear from the planet. This isn’t my last opportunity ever to enjoy chocolate chip cookies (or other tasty morsel of choice).

4.) Right now may seem like an opportune moment to violate my boundaries, but what will be my standard for upholding them? Will I ever feel like upholding my boundaries? If I wait until I never am tempted to break them to maintain them, what might happen? How will I feel and what impact will it have on my physical, emotional, and spiritual health?

Head hunger can come out of nowhere, so it helps to have a plan of action in place ahead of time. Remember these truths:

  • Giving in to desire eating (a response to head hunger) will not further me down the path of godliness and it will not work the changes inside and out that I desire.
  • Giving in to desire eating will not train me for the next time I am tempted. In fact, now is a great time to learn to say no to my flesh. If I keep saying yes to my desires, they will rule me.
  • If I say no to desire eating, I will be able to rejoice in my obedience and know I did what was best for myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
  • If I can find the strength in this moment to say no to temptation, the intensity of the temptation will subside.
  • I can act NOW while the willingness to be obedient to God is strong and either on my own or with the help from a family member (or friend, depending on the situation) remove the temptation. (At Halloween, this may mean flushing the candy down the toilet! With these chocolate chip cookies, it may mean sticking them in a freezer bag and putting them in the freezer).

What else is true when you say no to your flesh and yes to God by not eating in response to desire (when stomach hunger isn’t present)?

{Note: If you are someone who has a history of not eating enough to sustain your body’s needs, the authors of Healthy Eating Abundant Living encourage you to allow Head Hunger to get you on track again. I would suggest praying and asking God to give you the strength to eat when you need it and the food sounds appealing. Anyone with a history of overeating, you may be prone to want to see yourself in this category. Ask the Lord to show you if this does, indeed fit.]