3 Strategies to Overcome Obstacles on Your Thin Within Journey

3 Strategies to Overcome Obstacles on Your Thin Within Journey

Thin Within principles are simple:

  1. Eat when you are physically hungry
  2. Stop eating when you are physically satisfied
  3. Go to God for everything else that has lured you to eat for other reasons than to fuel your body.

But as simple as this is, it isn’t easy.

What is the road block?

The core of many of our challenges on our Thin Within journeys can be pulled out and dismantled if we deal with two really important issues…

  • Are you convinced that God is calling you to the Thin Within approach of eating any food between the parameters of physical hunger and physical satisfaction?
  • Do you wonder if it will work?

Without a rousing YES answer to the first of these two questions and a definite NO to the second, it will be hard for anyone…even with the help of a coach, book, material, testimony, blog article…to convince you that you should get back on the horse, back into your Thin Within journey. You will be likely to struggle a lot with consistency. Perseverance isn’t likely to happen when the going gets tough.

Ask the Lord to meet you and show you if this hunger/satisfaction approach is for YOU because He has called you to it or if it is the most palatable “diet” that you selected from all the options that you could have chosen…is it your will? Or is it what God wants for you, His child?

The FIRST STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles in your Thin Within journey is to prayerfully evaluate if either of these are missing:

–>a conviction that God wants you to use this approach for your eating/body issues

–> an assurance that Thin Within will “work” for releasing weight (if your body requires it) and to give you peace with your body and with food

SOLUTION: If you lack the conviction and assurance that God wants this for you and that this approach will “work” to accomplish what *HE* intends for you: 

A. Ask the Lord to build a conviction.

B. Browse through the testimonies at the Thin Within website.

So often when we have been on diets, we did it because we wanted to get thinner for a reunion, a trip coming up, a friend’s wedding, swimming at the beach, etc.  When these are the reasons we begin Thin Within, then–like in our experiences with dieting–when our motivation lags to keep at it because we want to look great for the upcoming event, we end up lacking commitment. We burn out. We throw in the towel. We quit.

But if there is a conviction that God wants me to do this, it takes my motivation to a new level.

The SECOND STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles is to realize the impact of our dieting years and the influence of our culture. We are bucking a long standing system! Be aware of the dieting mentality and how it can undermine our efforts in Thin Within.

Dieting teaches us that we are either successes or failures when we try to lose weight. Our culture is all about performance.

For years we did the pendulum swing…at the one extreme we would commit (like at the first of the year) to a new eating program or maybe even Thin Within. We could hold on for only so long and then we felt like we weren’t doing it well enough and we bailed…or quit…or stopped trying…and swung to the other extreme…threw all caution to the wind.

What we have to do is allow the cross of Christ to stabilize and stop the pendulum swing.

I have often likened our Thin Within journeys to being on a trail ride. In dieting and in other areas of life, the whole point is riding the horse from here to our destination perfectly. It is all about our accomplishment. It is not about the journey. In fact, success or failure seems to be determined by getting to the destination or not. We have been results oriented. Not process oriented. Dieting taught us to be self-focused and very black or white in our thinking.

BUT On the Thin Within journey, riding down the trail and never falling off–as wonderful as that may sound–isn’t our goal! Being really good at getting back up ON the horse instead of wallowing around in the dirt each time we fall off IS the goal. THIS is doing the journey well!  When we fall off our horses, we don’t wallow in the dirt. We get back in the saddle and evaluate what we can do differently next time to be victorious.  This IS doing “Thin Within well!”

SOLUTION: If you know you are being affected by perfectionism or all-or-nothing thinking:

A. Accept that FAILURE IS A TEACHER, not an UNDERTAKER. Failure is what you do, not who you are.

B. Allow God to use your failures, mess-ups and mis-steps to show you what hasn’t worked. In this way, you can develop a plan of action for emerging victorious the next time by doing things differently.

The THIRD STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles on the Thin Within journey is to see that God’s grace isn’t just a one-time event when we come to Him for salvation. It is an ongoing power, presence, and provision even in my failures.

This is where we apply God’s grace in the tool called Observation and Correction.

With Observation and Correction, God redeems my failures. HE can redeem whatever has caused me to fall off the horse (or eat outside of my hunger and satisfaction boundaries). He turns my failure into a learning opportunity–if  I am willing.

Recently, our Coaching Groups were having their last group conference call for the current coaching session. The assignment I had given them ahead of time was to consider looking back over the time since they began their first coaching group and jot down a list of lessons God has shown them through observation and correction. What “corrections” had God given them that are keepers as they go forward?

The results were nothing short of inspirational. It is the heart of grace. It is the heart of Thin Within.

Each one of the participants experienced failures in their lives.  By God’s GRACE and wisdom, they had used what they learned from the failures to write down options for making different choices in the future or to prepare for challenges in a new way…like by developing needed skills or renewing their minds.

Counter to our performance culture or dieting mentality, we need to know that messing up with our eating is something that happens on this Thin Within journey. Consider each time you “hit the dirt” to be an opportunity to learn how to “get back on the horse again.” View each time that you are on the ground as an opportunity to practice getting going again.

SOLUTION: If you know you need to grow in applying God’s grace to your journey:

A. Develop and add to a Victory List – each time you recognize that you stopped eating before you would have in the past, or if you pray or renew your mind, or…whatever it might be! Jot it down and keep an ongoing list of the many “baby step” victories that God gives you. Review this list often and go through it, thanking him out loud for each one!

B. Make liberal use of the Observation and Correction tool. (Even better if you keep a running list of the “corrections” that God has given you.)

God may be up to something larger and more important than what size your body is!!!

How About You?

What specific challenges are you facing? How might applying these ideas help? We want to hear from you in our comments section here at the blog!

THIS MEANS WAR!!!

Image courtesy of vudhikrai at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of vudhikrai at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It was a bit of a slow fade for me over the holidays. So, today, I am declaring war on apathy! Will you join me? Right now, there are no foods in the house that I am likely to give in to eating outside of 0 and 5. This is a temporary “THIS MEANS WAR” stance….I mean for a week or so. Also, I am journaling my way through two sets of questions in Barb’s I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies That Make You Eat book…one set in the morning and one set at 5pm (or so) each evening. I am renewing my commitment to check in DAILY with my accountability partner. THIS WEEK I MEAN BUSINESS. Not only am I getting back in the saddle, but I am GOING SOMEWHERE!

How about you?

What is your plan to take back the Land the Lord wants as YOURS? Why rest in apathy until January 6th when you can get a running start? (Ugh…mixing my metaphors! LOL!)

Getting Back on the Horse, Again–AGAIN! :)

Getting Back on the Horse, Again–AGAIN! :)

harleymay2007

I used to write about my challenges with my horse, Harley, on a Yahoo group I was a part of. Readers of the posts said they thought that he breathed fire based on my description of him. I had turned him into a 5-headed monster! The truth was, he was spunky and needed reassurance from his human. If he didn’t get that…well, he might…um…buck. 🙂 Yes…BUCK.

Unfortunately for both of us, I wasn’t really situated very well to give him those reassurances. So…well…buck he did. Land on the ground…yes…I did that…frequently. I couldn’t stand the thought of coming off…again and again and again. I just quit riding him in 2005. The fact that I was 100 pounds overweight at the time, certainly contributed to my decision. I was somewhat convinced that my large size *hurt* him to carry! It broke my heart, but I was so tired of failure.

Finally, with the help of a couple of very gifted trainers…who trained me…I dusted myself off and got back on the horse. The above picture was taken, the second time I rode him after a two year lay off. I decided that I was done “giving up.”

You can tell by the smile on my face how I felt about the experience. The thing that strikes me about this picture is I finally overcame my fear and, other than the “death grip” of my right hand on the rein, I am riding with merely a halter! (No saddle!) It is one of my favorite pictures of Harlinator and me because in it, I had come such a far distance from where I had been.

[Note: Here is a video of the first time I got back on Harley after those two years of staying off. This was shot about a week before the photo above was taken. See if there are any similarities to how you feel when you consider “getting back on the Thin Within horse!” Note Melissa telling me to remember to “Breathe!”]

I haven’t come off of Harley in a long while, but when I did the last time, I dusted myself off immediately. I observed where I went wonky. I made note of a needed correction so that whatever-it-was wasn’t likely to happen again. Then I put my foot in the stirrup and lifted myself back in the saddle.

I approach my “eating life” the same way. When I fall off the horse, I don’t wait around until I feel like getting back on. I observe and correct and hop back on up in the saddle. There is fun to be had. Places to go! Adventures to enjoy! I don’t want to indulge myself in self-pity and woe-is-me self deprecation.

So, did you stay on the horse yesterday? Did all your good intentions win out? Did you keep your rear firmly in the saddle and are you smiling big, knowing that you DID it?

Or…Or did you get thrown off? Are you licking your wounds, mercilessly inflicted by the “Ultimate Caramel Apple Pie?” Or just a few too many bites (past 5) of turkey and gravy?

Well, I want to encourage you…you CAN get off the ground and back on that horse right now! 🙂 It is WORTH IT!

I was asked recently by one of my coaching clients…”What do you do when you overeat…when you overeat by a LOT?”

The answer…simply…is you just wait for hunger again. Presto! No big heavy emotional guilt tripping allowed! Instead, just get back on that horse and start riding again. Wait for 0 and serve yourself a modest portion, stopping when you are no longer hungry. It really IS that simple!

I do find it VERY helpful to build a foundation for lasting change if I deal with the beliefs that fuel my actions. Really, I can’t say this enough. We can keep restraining ourselves with “will power,” but unless we change the way we think and what we believe (beliefs fuel actions which fuel a lifestyle), we will find ourselves back where we were before or—worse. At the very least, change won’t be sustained.

God wants my heart more than he wants me to be thin. So it stands to reason he won’t let me be content to just lose weight. I got to the place where I carried 100 extra pounds on my frame because I believed food was a better comforter than God. I got to the place where I sustained such a large size because I turned to food to be my savior instead of to the Lord.

So, it stands to reason that the real work will have to be in my mind.

No, you really probably don’t need to read another book.

… and you probably don’t need to read the Thin Within book again.

Those things may be helpful, sure. But what you may need, if you are anything like me, is to work on what you believe more than what you know. You probably know plenty! But what do you believe?

If you watch even the first moments of the video I referenced above, you will see that I believed  that I was going to get hurt. The ride didn’t flow. It was hindered by my beliefs. By the time I was on Harley a week or two later bareback and with the halter, though, I believed that things were going to work between us! What I believe makes a HUGE difference in my actions! Watch the video to see what I mean!

So, what lies were motivating you yesterday if you overate? What truth can counter the lies?

EVERYTHING is redeemable by our wonderful Lord! In fact, no matter what you may have done eating-wise yesterday, God intends that “failure” be redeemed. “Failure” can be a great teacher. Observe what you did by looking back over yesterday. Look at where you went astray. And now, correct. What could you do differently in the future? What could you believe differently in the future that would help you to choose to do that behavior?

Getting back on the horse again after a mess-up is all about observing, correcting, choosing.

It is about extending grace.

It is about learning from your mis-steps and struggles.

It is about trading lies that have moved you with truth…doing it even before the lies have a chance to work again. Right now.

What About You?

What lies were at work yesterday that kept you from acting in a way that supported your godly goals of 0 to 5 eating?

What truths can you use to refute the lies?

How might your actions change the next time you are faced with a similar situation?

And if you negotiated through Thanksgiving Day with NO regrets, I would love to hear about it. It is encouraging. Tell us what challenge you faced and how you were able to emerge victorious. You may have experienced the bucking of that horse beneath you, but if you managed to stay on anyhow, we want to celebrate that with you!

7 Phrases To Ditch For Victory!

Image Source: Morgue File

Image Source: Morgue File

“It’s just a little snack!”

“I am going to eat healthy today!”

“Oh…if I get the house clean, I will have a little treat.”

“I am swearing off of all junk food.”

Food phrases come in all shapes and sizes, but I have discovered that certain words and phrases can be “little foxes” spoiling the “vineyard” in my eating life!

“Snack” – In the past, I, like many other people, would use the word “snack” to mean “free” eating—an “eating occasion” that doesn’t count. 🙂 It didn’t matter if I was hungry or not (or so the reasoning went) because it was “just a little taste of something.” While it probably wasn’t really a “sit down meal,” these “feedings” (as my naturally thin sister refers to them)  count! Now, I prefer not to use the word “snack” at all because it carries years of meaning from my dieting background. If I DO refer to a “snack,” it typically means sitting down and enjoying a smaller portion of anything when I am at a 0 and just shaving off my hunger—not eating all the way to a 5…like stopping at a “2” or “3” on the hunger scale. True Thin Within “snacking” happens only at a 0 and it does, indeed, “count!” I know this isn’t a “fun” revelation. 🙂

I find it most helpful if I consider every single time food crosses my lips as a “meal.” With Thin Within we come to realize we don’t need that much food to sustain our very efficient bodies. So, if every time food crosses my lips I think of it as a meal (or “feeding”), I am more likely to use more discernment about what I choose. This is a basic boundary for us. (I can see you cringe…But where has NOT having this boundary really gotten us?)  In the past, the quantity of food that I now consider a “meal” might have been called a “snack.” This is another reason why I don’t use the word “snack” much any more.

Think About It: If you have been doing Thin Within very long, consider the size of your portions and how they have changed. Is it possible that what you now consider an appropriate-sized meal you might have formerly called “just a snack?” How might this continue to change over time as you refine your hunger numbers?

“Junk Food” –  It is popular to believe that some foods are “junk.”  When we think of certain foods as “junk” it usually means we have declared those foods as “bad.” While it is true some food choices are better than others to feed my “perfect 0,”  when I call something “junk,” I imply that the food is the culprit to my weight and eating issues. The truth is, *I* am the culprit with the way, the why, the when, of my eating. Food is not immoral in any way. It is not the culprit in my eating challenges.  Instead of thinking of food as “junk food” (or not), I prefer to categorize foods the way that Thin Within speaks of in the second (Discernment) phase, as “teasers,” “pleasers,” “whole-body pleasers,” and “total rejects.” If I like the way a food tastes, but I feel lethargic after eating it, it might be a total reject or it may be a “teaser.” But I try not to think of it as “junk food.” The problem is typically more with ME and what I will DO with those foods than it is with the foods. (Even with a food that has no nutritional value, I find it helps me to just call it a total reject.)

Think About It: Are you like me? Needing to take responsibility for your eating instead of laying blame with the food? I have found that when I refer to foods as “junk” I beat myself up for eating them…which just sends me into a downward spiral. By referring to them, instead, as “total rejects” or “teasers,” I remind myself how *I* respond to them is what matters.

“Treat” – Ever notice that the foods that are in the “junk food” category are also often those referred to as “treats” as well? Calling something a “treat” sets up whatever-food-it-is as desirable to me. I end up seeing it as a reward. Do I really want to call food a “reward?” If I do that, it definitely lures me to eat outside of 0 and 5 whenever I am deserving of a “reward” and we know that I am always deserving of a reward (supposedly)! If I am happy, I deserve a reward. If I am sad, I deserve a reward. If I worked hard, I deserve a reward. If I run errands, I deserve a reward. If I stay home and vacuum, I deserve a reward.  What if we think, instead, of things like “Time alone reading a good book,” or “A long hot bath” as rewards? Consider non-food blessings. 🙂 If I think of food as “treats” then those foods are in my mind as something I get when I am “good.” This sets me up for failure.

Think About It: What are some other non-food ways you can “treat” yourself? Is there any chance that viewing some foods as “treats” is hindering your victory? Do you find that some of the foods that you may have considered “junk food” are the very foods you have also considered “treats?”

“Healthy Eating – What IS “healthy eating?” It is most helpful to me to consider it “Living within God’s parameters.” Or eating according to physical need (empty) and physical satisfaction. Eating whole-body pleasers when my body needs food is my idea of “healthy eating.”  It is important to note that my whole-body pleasers may be different from everyone else’s! This is NOT a one-size-fits-all approach! Healthy eating isn’t about which foods, but why (because of physical need) and when (when I am hungry). To think of “healthy eating” this way is definitely not the norm. Usually when we think of “healthy eating” we think of people who eat fruits, veggies, and lean meat and it isn’t about being hungry or not. I have known people who do not “eat healthy” even when they choose foods that seem more nutritionally dense. They still over-eat and don’t have a healthy relationship with food. Maybe you know some whole food connoisseurs or vegans who struggle with their weight just like others who eat primarily “junk food.” This really isn’t about the food, but about why we eat.

Think About It: What does healthy eating really look like for you? Is it what you choose to eat? Or is it when (hungry)? Or how much (enough to satisfy only)? Or a combination? What if you were to select only fruits and vegetables and lean meats, but eat for emotional reasons without regard to physical cues–would that be “eating healthy?” If you grab for the pita crisps instead of the Oreos when you just had a fight with your daughter is that “Healthy Eating?”

“Healthy Food” – This is like the other phrases that describe food, like “treat” or “junk food.” The problem with “healthy food” is it, again, seems to indicate that if I fix the food, then it is good to eat it…even if I don’t NEED food at that time. Sure, some foods are more nutritionally dense…more nutrition “bang” for energy “buck” and other foods are more “energy dense”…a lot less nutrition for the amount of energy consumed. But food is really inert, neutral, amoral. It isn’t the food that is healthy so much as how I relate to it. Is it  “healthy” to eat a large salad when I am not hungry? I guess every person has to make this decision for herself, but the answer for me as a faithful Thin Within participant and veteran…NO. Eating anything when I don’t need to eat it isn’t healthy. It becomes recreational eating again! Categorizing foods into “healthy food” and “junk food” keeps me from owning my need to scrutinize the why and when of my eating choices. I have found it much more helpful to consider foods as teasers, pleasers, whole-body pleasers and total rejects for the reasons I shared above. I also have found that if I set up a category of “healthy food,” then if I want to be “healthy” I end up trying to force myself to enjoy those foods. While I am all for expanding our culinary horizons and venturing out into new tastes and textures, if I don’t like something and eat it just because it is a “healthy food” then I am setting myself up for a fall.

Think About It: What are whole-body pleaser foods or meals for you? Would it be helpful to you and support your godly goals to consider food this way instead of “healthy food?”  Or as “beneficial foods?” I am not advising not to care about nutritional value, certainly, but giving an eye to nutrition and an eye to how foods make you feel might help you not try to force yourself to eat only foods that have certain nutritional content…so often that backfires! Or is that just me? 🙂

“Sort of Hungry” –  Hunger/satisfied signals exist on a continuum. But I try to stay away from speaking about being “sort of hungry,” because I have found that if I do this, it “sort of” justifies “sort of” eating! 🙂  In fact, there are even times when I need to strip the hunger scale back to simple terms: “Hungry” or “NOT Hungry.” If you are experiencing limited success with your 0 to 5 eating, consider if you are possibly pre-empting “hungry” by entertaining the idea that being “sort of hungry” justifies eating.

Think About It: Do you find yourself eating when you are “sort of hungry” or “a little bit hungry?” Is that working for you? If you are not seeing the physical results you think you should be seeing, maybe honing in on a true zero … completely empty… will be helpful.

“Kind of Full” – If I am “Kind of Full,” that means that I think I “still have room” for more food. Maybe I need to see if my body is satisfied with less food, rather than if I can get away with more! (If you have a history of restricting, I am not speaking to you. Please know that God wants you to eat what you NEED to sustain good health!) Again, for me personally, it has helped to go to “bare bones” with my terminology with the hunger scale. Instead of looking at “AM I at a 5? Or is this only a 4 and I still have room for more food?” I need to look at “HUNGRY” or “NOT Hungry.” “Kind of Full” is definitely in the “Not Hungry” category.  If I am NOT HUNGRY it is time to stop eating. Getting rid of  “Kind of Full” helps me be faithful to the boundaries that God has set for me.

Think About It: Do you push to see how much food you can eat before you have pushed too far? Or are you happy with eating until you know you are not hungry any more and call it good? Again, if you are not seeing the physical results that you think you should be seeing, you may want to evaluate this. One strategy that has been helpful for me (when I do it!) is to have a boundary of always leaving some (even just a bite or two) of food on my plate. Sometimes, this gets fed to the family dog, but I find that it helps to cure me of my tendency to be greedy! (But builds bad begging habits in my dog!)

How About You?

Are you willing to eliminate these words or phrases from your vocabulary to see if that might help you move closer to the victory that you desire? What other words or phrases do you find might be like “little foxes,” hindering your realization of the victory that you know is yours?

Guest Post: Another Night With Frogs…

Image Courtesy of Image Stock Exchange

Image Courtesy of Image Stock Exchange

“Yesterday is history”… “Put your best foot forward”… “Leave the past behind”… “Today is the day”…

Well, tomorrow, that is…

“I’ll start tomorrow…” How many times have we said this for different situations in our lives? It’s not necessarily intentional because, of course, we ALWAYS have the very best intentions, right? But intentions don’t change anything. Action is where change begins! Why then is it so hard for us to exact change in our lives? What is it that makes it so hard to take that first simple step in the right direction?

It could be something as simple as a bad habit that we would like to break or maybe a positive change we would like to bring about in our lives. One of the most common examples of this is that common phrase that we use to excuse bad eating choices before beginning to eat healthy again…”Oh, I’m going to start TOMORROW.”  Maybe you can relate to this, I definitely can! Why is it that we always want to start “tomorrow”? Why not NOW?

Apparently we want one more night with the frogs. In Exodus 8:8-10 there is a very interesting story about Moses and Pharaoh and the plague of frogs:

Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron and said, “Pray to the Lord to take the frogs away from me and my people, and I will let your people go to offer sacrifices to the Lord.” Moses said to Pharaoh, “I leave to you the honor of setting the time for me to pray for you and your officials and your people that you and your houses may be rid of the frogs, except for those that remain in the Nile.”

10 Tomorrow,” Pharaoh said.

Tomorrow?! I know that if I was faced with a plague of frogs, and was asked when I would like for someone to pray that they would leave, my answer would be NOW! However, this story shows our own mindset as we face moving forward in our lives. Just give me one more night with my bad habit, one more night with my addiction, one more night with mysin, etc., etc.

We don’t have to wait another minute; there is no need to wait until tomorrow. Change begins now. Take that step in the right direction now. We can leave behind the junk in our lives, whatever it may be, and not have to spend one more night with the frogs.

Don’t wait until tomorrow. Don’t even wait another minute. This is the moment…today. The time is now. Take hold of God’s promises for you and His very best for your life and move forward NOW!

What About You?

What is it that’s holding you back from making a commitment to eat 0-5 daily and experience freedom from the bondage of gluttony or dieting? For me, it was a little of both. I would just overeat because the food was so good, but also I would overeat because of the diet mentality. I was trying to eat the “good foods,” but wasn’t satisfied and would still go back and eat the “bad foods.” What I have learned though, is that it’s not right foods vs. wrong foods or good foods vs. bad foods. Instead, it is a heart issue. I was continually running to the kitchen instead of running to God. And I had to spend another night with the frogs over and over because of it.

It’s time to break the diet chains off of our minds by giving ourselves completely to God, completely committing every aspect of our lives to Him, including our eating. Food and the scale had both become idols for me, and I have lain both of them down at the feet of Jesus. I made the 90-day commitment, and I will not look at the scale until the end of those 90 days. Yes, I’m excited about how my body will change through this, but the most exciting part is what God is doing in my heart and mind during this time! And while I have made the 90-day commitment, I’m not stopping there, that’s just a milestone for me. I’m moving forward! Will you say, “I’m NOT spending one more night with the frogs!” and move forward into freedom as well?

Just me

~ Aprille Roberts is the women’s minister and worship leader at her church. Find her blog, “Chasing After the Heart of My Father” at praisemom13.blogspot.com.