Review of Barb Raveling’s “I Need a Donut” App

Here is the link to my friend, Barb Ravelings, “I Deserve a Donut” iPod or iPhone app. It is only $1.99! You can download it now and then walk with me through using it, or read this and then decide if you want to download the app.

It is my goal to think the way God does about life, about 0 to 5 eating, about my body, about my situations and people in my life–to renew my mind–and to welcome the transformation that God intends happen. Barb’s app is specifically intended for dealing with challenges with emotional eating,  but it has been used by God do far more in my life than just help me overcome emotional eating. God is using it to transform me over all. This app is SO helpful.

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So this is what I am doing even now as I share this with you. The above image shows the screen you get when you select her app on your iPod, iPhone, or iPad. I choose “Emotions” since I am struggling with being teary this morning.

Once I click on EMOTIONS. This is the screen I get:

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As you can see, there are more emotions that Barb has included than fit in my screen shot. But for today, I select “Insecurity.” Since insecurity is such a BIG deal with lots of aspects to it, Barb has included a number of options within the “Insecurity” category:

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Even Insecurity has a lot of options. So, lately, I have struggled with “Feeling Rejected/Condemned.”

Upon selecting this option, I find a list of questions followed by statements to consider. These questions, I prayerfully ponder and journal. I will do a bit of that here so you can see the process as it unfolds for me.

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Barb’s app gets right down to it instantly:

1. Is it possible to live life without ever being rejected or condemned? If not, what’s the sad truth you’ll have to accept right from the beginning?

2. What did this person do to make you feel rejected or condemned? Be specific.

3. Does she do this sort of thing with other people, or does she only do it with you? If she only does it with you, why do you think she only does it with you?

4. Do you think her behavior is a sign that she doesn’t love or respect you in particular, or is this just an example of the way she responds to people in general?

5. Did you do anything to make this person reject or condemn you?

If I haven’t done anything that caused this person to reject or condemn me, is there anything I need to accept about this person and how she handles relationships?

6. Is God’s love enough to satisfy you even if this person rejects or condemns you?

7. What do you think God wants to do for you in the midst of this difficult situation? (See insecurity verses for ideas.) Barb has a bunch of Bible verses that can minister to us in our insecurity. They are wonderful to look up, study, journal and pray through, and memorize.

Based on the verses that Barb has included, I get these answers to the above question:

  • God wants to be my shield, my glory, and to lift my head (Psalm 3:3)
  • He is the defense of my life and he wants me not to dread anyone or anything. In the day of trouble, He conceals me in His tabernacle; He wants to lift me up on a rock. (Psalm 27: 1b, 5)
  • He wants to establish my steps. He delights in my way. He will not let me be hurled headlong when I fall. He wants to hold my hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)
  • He wants to be my refuge and my fortress. He wants me to trust him. He delivers me from the snares of life. He will cover me with his feathers and hide me under his wings where I can seek refuge. He is faithful to me. (Psalm 91:2-4)
  • He wants me to rest in the fact that He has made me fearfully and wonderfully. He wants my soul to sit in and know this truth. (Psalm 139:13-15)
  • He wants to build me up. He gathers me–as any outcast–to himself. He heals the brokenhearted and wants to heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds. (Psalm 147:2-3)
  • He wants to change my name. Instead of “Forsaken,” “Rejected,” “Desolate,” “Unwanted,” He calls me “My delight is in her.” He delights in me and as a bridegroom rejoices over the bride, my God rejoices over me! (Isaiah 62:4a, 5b)
  • He remembers me; His heart yearns for me; He has mercy on me. (Jeremiah 31:20)
  • He has loved me with an everlasting love and drawn me closer to himself with loving kindness. He will build me up again. He will cause me to dance and rejoice again some day! (Jeremiah 31:3,4)
  • He is in my midst as a victorious warrior. He exults over me with joy. He quiets me with his love. He rejoices over me with shouts of joy! (Zephaniah 3:17)
  • He is coming to me to dwell with me. (Zechariah 2:10)
  • He demonstrates His love for me in that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. (Romans 5:8) He loves me!
  • I am His workmanship, created for things to do that He calls me to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
  • He will complete the work in me that he has begun. (Philippians 1:6)
  • He does NOT condemn me! (Romans 8:1)
  • Nothing will separate me from His love. (Romans 8:35, 38,39)
  • I am his own possession. He showers me with mercy. (1 Peter 2:9.10)

8. Who are you in God’s eyes? 

Many of the above verses and others that I have journaled speak of this. When I use this app, I go over this again. It is very affirming. If you wonder who you are in Christ, have a look at Who I Am In Christ which is a pdf document.

9. How do you think God wants you to respond to this person who is condemning or rejecting you?

10. Is there anything I need to accept?

ASSIGNMENT:

1. If you have an iPod, iPhone, or iPad, download this app and give it a try! Share with us here what happens!

2. Use the questions that I have shared with you here to process something that might lure you to eat (that is if rejection or condemnation are emotions that fit for you). Prayerfully process the questions and see if God uses them to help your mind be renewed.

When Your Heart Cries for Food…

Photo Courtesy of iStockPhoto

Photo Courtesy of iStockPhoto

“Heart hunger is a compulsion to manage our

feelings and emotional moods with food.”

Healthy Eating & Abundant Living, p. 55

My husband and I have enjoyed one another’s company for most of our almost 30 years together. In fact, I can’t think of a time when we haven’t liked doing things together or even just hanging out together in the evenings and weekends–even through some of the most tumultuous seasons. (Maybe he wouldn’t agree! LOL!…Nope, I just called him to ask and he says it’s true.) Right now is one of those very very difficult times for us, but we still enjoy going out to dinner, watching a video, or on a drive. Sometimes, he even plays tennis with me. 🙂

For as long as I can remember, when Bob has gone out of town–something that his job has always required of him–I have experienced my most emotional, vulnerable times. This goes beyond merely missing him. I am not sure if it is somehow connected to what is an irrational fear of abandonment  rooted in childhood experiences or if it is something else entirely. Through the years, though, I have come to see that I am prone to head to the freezer in the evening when he isn’t home. (Not that this isn’t a challenge when he is home, but the pull becomes even more significant when he isn’t home.) Ice cream is my nemesis at times like those. Not just one bowl of ice cream, but multiple bowls. Even better with hot fudge, whipped cream, and nuts.

Fortunately, I have came to a point of realizing this vulnerability.  Planning in advance for this when I know my husband is going to be out of town enables me to be successful. I make provision for my spirit instead of my flesh. I try not to have ice cream in the house when I am in this “weakened state” 🙂  and I make plans to do something specific in the evenings to redirect my attention into something positive and encouraging–a tennis match, an evening spent writing, extra time in bible study, or going out with friends.

Developing an awareness of my emotions and various motivations for eating outside of my primary boundary of 0 to 5 eating, has been extremely helpful for me.

Personally, it doesn’t take much for me to think about eating. Being angry, annoyed, discontented, lonely, envious, frustrated, greedy, lustful, resentful, unforgiving, insecure, judging (of myself or by others), caught in perfectionism, prideful, regretful, stressed, rejected, worried, sad, disappointed, disapproved of, joyful, liberated, entitled, hopeless, justified, tired of the struggle, bored, etc., etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseum! These are all reasons I might turn to food outside of physical hunger. My heart insists I feed it at times like this! It seems to cry for food incessantly.

When I am drawn to eat, it helps to ask some questions:

1.) What is drawing me to food right now? Is it stomach hunger? Head hunger? Or Heart hunger?

2.) If the answer is heart hunger, I evaluate what emotion I am currently feeling. (Often, when I am angry, it is a secondary emotion…something else, usually more painful to feel, is the primary emotion. For instance, if someone during my day has said something mean to me, I may feel anger surge up, but what is often at work there is sadness, disappointment, fear.) Giving this question prayerful consideration is a good first place to start.

3.) What is the need that is currently not being met? Sometimes my heart is hungry for love, acceptance, assurance, etc. Pinpointing what it is really hungry for is helpful.

4.) Will food meet the need that is currently not being met?

5.) If I choose to eat anyhow, will eating in response to this emotion actually *cost* me something in addition to the emotion I already feel? For instance, will I be disappointed with myself and will it add to feelings of hopelessness?

6.) Often, when I am drawn to food because of emotion, my focus is on ME ME ME. Is there some way in which I can focus in a more positive direction? Perhaps on the Lord? What about some time spent working on my God List and having a Praise Fest?

Here is what I have found. Ecclesiastes 3:11 seems to indicate that God has set a God-shaped hole inside of me. It is a hole that only a God-shaped “peg” can fill. It cries to be filled. If I don’t understand that it is a God-shaped hole, I will reach for all manner of other “pegs” to fill it. Food is the primary “peg” I jam in there. All the while, the emptiness, the cry for deeper intimacy with God in this moment, calls to be satisfied, longs for me to recognize the only solution to the ache.

Intimacy with our Creator is the only solution to this Heart Cry. I have developed a series at my other blog for developing intimacy with the Lord–even through trials and heartache. The material there is a product of my Thin Within journey, to be honest!

Step 1 – We Get to Choose

Step 2 – Change Our Thinking

Step 3 – Get Equipped

Step 4 – Sing Our Traveling Song!

Step 5 – Fix Your Eyes

Step 6 – Creating a God List

Step 7 – Praise Him!

Step 8 – Praying Scripture

Step 9 – Fostering a Heart of Thanksgiving

Step 10 – Rest in His Embrace

Step 11 – Focus on Others

Step 12 – Practice His Presence

Step 13a – Forgive Yourself

When our hearts are hungry, we want to feed them what they need. At the deepest place, this hunger is one that only a good dose of “feasting on the Lord” can satisfy.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:25-26

What will you do today…or in the next week…to feed your Heart Hunger what it really is hungry for…intimacy with your Creator and King?

WLBS Review: Holiday/Vacation Eating and Emotional Eating

I Am Crazy! But GOD is AWESOME!

I dunno, but this lady looks nutty like I feel today. I saw this picture and there was something about it that screamed “ME!” Can you relate? For me, it is because of…well…have a look at this video (if you dare). It is more of a rant than a teaching video. Truly…it is Heidi letting her hair down if you will. SCARY.

See why I said I am this woman? She looks like she is prepared to travel. Like she is putting a lid on all her emotions…but they are ready to surface at any given moment. I need TRUTH to put my feet on the ground! I need TRUTH to keep me from freaking out when I travel at all, let alone for 16 days. I need TRUTH to keep me from letting my emotions run amok with me!

So, as I prepare this post ahead of time, I am preparing my mind for action–for obedience. Right now, as you read this, I am in New York. If you watched the video, you know how I feel about this! LOL! But I am preparing now (while I am still home writing this) for obedience. I am speaking TRUTH to my spirit daily as I prepare for the trip and the emotions and other stuff that all go with traveling!

Holiday/Vacation Eating –  I am planning to do the following WHILE on my trip:

  • Daily – I will wake up each morning to have a quiet time and first on my list after warming to Jesus’ welcome to the day will be to use  My Affirmations about 0 to 5 eating list to renew my mind.
  • Because this list travels with me everywhere via Evernote, I will also pull it out mid-morning (before lunch) and mid-afternoon as a reminder about what is really important to me.
  • I will remind myself that vacations are a wonderful time to train myself to keep my boundaries no matter what happens in life. Life will be filled with all kinds of challenges and opportunities. I want to train myself for godliness, for obedience and that I can “celebrate” with means other than food and overeating!
  • I plan to shoot an email to my accountability partner each day that I have internet access.
  • I will ask God daily to open my eyes to His Wonders so that I might keep track in my gratitude blog. If internet access isn’t available, I will use my 1000 Gifts app on my phone to take pictures of the gifts God brings my way. It is pretty tough to give in to “entitlement” or “justification” eating (what typically travels with me on vacations) if I foster a humble spirit grateful to God for all his gifts and blessings!

What strategies will you plan to use when you next go on vacation or have a holiday? Mother’s Day and Memorial Day are coming up. What challenges might face you and what will you do to plan for victory? How will you make provision for obedience?

Emotional Eating Barb encourages us to make use of Renewing Your Mind Tools that she has at her website so that we can overcome the temptation to eat out of emotions. I have included that link here. Barb has written a full-length workbook called Freedom From Emotional Eating. While it is from a dieting perspective, I found it valuable when I went through it a few years ago. Please, though, if you are struggling with the dieting mentality, don’t run out and order this now. There is time later! But if you feel you have some distance and space from the dieting mentality and feel somewhat confident that your 0 to 5 boundaries won’t be derailed in favor of counting calories or points any time soon, then by all means, order her book!

Many of us are habitual…can I say this…drama queens! Ok, maybe you aren’t, but I know I have been. God is really working on training me to diffuse the drama rather than INFUSE the drama (with extra fuel). It is really helping! The video was just an example of a mild version of  how dramatic I can be! Crazy, huh?

The truth is…TRUTH MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.

At the heart of emotional eating one simple truth diffuses my tendency to go to food:

Food won’t meet the need of my heart.

It just won’t.

What strategies will you use to diffuse emotions that might lead you to look for comfort in food? Please share with us any victories you have experienced recently and/or any questions or even prayer requests you have about an upcoming potential situation.

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Note: This is our final day of the “Ditch Your Scale” Challenge. Some of us bailed early. Some of us bailed mid-way through. Some of us made it all the way through. No matter what, let’s celebrate that GOD IS DOING A NEW THING and prayerfully ask him to show us the importance we place on the bathroom scale. If we are living according to His leading, eating 0 to 5 as he directs us, do we really need to be concerned with our weight? The truth is, we will land on a healthy size and stay there…without worrying about keeping ourselves “honest” with the bathroom scale. Just a thought. Would love to hear from you about this. 🙂

Renewing the Mind in Thin Within

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Below is a video that I made to help people understand what it means to renew the mind…what it is, how to go about doing it and why!

I hope it helps you.

Thanks again to Barb Raveling for her help in understanding how to practically apply the wisdom of Romans 12:2!

Summary:

Renewing the Mind is, simply, thinking God’s thoughts after him.

First, choose a renewing of the mind goal. Why? Because it is our thinking that causes us to act. If we want to act differently and see different fruit in our lives, we need to start where actions are birthed–in our thoughts! What do you want to think differently about? The scale? Your body? Food? Your marriage? Your job? Probably, for our study coming up, you will want to select something that has to do with food, eating or weight, but it is your choice. Maybe you are an emotional eater, so you need to think differently about processing emotions. Maybe you don’t feel like you trust God. You might want to renew your mind about God’s character. So first thing, you want to pick a renewing of your mind goal.

Secondly, select times of the day when you will proactively choose to think God’s thoughts about whatever it is. First thing in the morning is a good idea for most of us since it might set the tone for the entire day. If you struggle in your marriage, you might also want to plan a renewing of your mind session for just before you see your spouse. If it is about food, you might need a mini-renewing of your mind session before you eat each time you eat! Let’s dive in and do this for all we are worth. Give it just a few weeks of diligence and hard work and you will be amazed at how you are impacted! You can also renew your mind in the middle of giving in to behaviors that are counter to your godly goal or after you have given in. It is best to plan a time before that happens, of course! But even if you “blow it,” you can renew your mind about whatever it is after the fact and it will help!

Thirdly, select strategies for actually thinking God’s thoughts after him. In this video, I share some ideas for that, but it is by no means comprehensive. You can use Barb Raveling’s I Deserve a Donut app.  You can read scripture or review memorized verses. The bible is clearly where God shows us his thoughts, so it is a safe place to land to find things to think about for renewing your mind. If you want to be more specific, you can do what I have done. On an index card, piece of paper, on a file in your laptop or your cell phone or iDevice :-), you can create a file or jot down a list of TRUTHS about whatever it is that you want to think differently about. Then, each of the times that you renew your mind, you would read those things…preferably out loud. Pray over them and ask God to work them deeply into the soil of your heart and mind.

Here is a partial list of My Affirmations about 0 to 5 eating mentioned in the video.

Also, in the video I say one of the things I like about 0 to 5 eating is that it is easy. Then I talk about Barb’s app and mention that 0 to 5 eating is hard. What I mean by that, is when I am tempted to stray away from it, THEN it is hard. That is when I need to stop myself from whining about how “hard” it is. It is always going to be hard to obey. But the principles are easy, simple, and doable!

I hope this helps clarify what renewing the mind is! 🙂

Emotional Eating

I plan on returning to summaries of The Lord’s Table soon, but today, I could tell I needed to deal with some things. I turned to “Freedom from Emotional Eating,” by Barb Raveling, instead of working on The Lord’s Table.

Yes…this is what I needed. What I need. Present tense.

Yesterday, I struggled a lot with urges to eat and to revert back to drinking soda. I didn’t give in to the soda drinking. (I will write about this another time, as I think diet soda has been a huge stronghold in my past…one I never totally resolved to give up, but have now…hopefully, permanently.)

I was amazed at how drawn to food and soda I felt all day.

My accountability partner asked the right questions of me and prompted me to allow God to help me work through this. My tendency was to just “blow it off” as “Ok, so I am feeling emotional.” But to be honest with you, calling it emotional eating without DEALING with it, isn’t even as good as throwing a band-aid on it. It is like seeing a wound and saying “Yup, it is bleeding” and leaving it at that.

In Barb Raveling’s workbook, “Freedom from Emotional Eating,” the reader is urged to go beyond recognizing there are emotional triggers, to actually doing something about it…to speaking TRUTH into the situation. This is done through “truth journaling.” This is a remarkably simple thing to do, I found, yet profound.

The enemy seeks to take us captive by messing with our heads…the old “You deserve to eat this…” or “You will feel better if you have that…” thing.

Truth journaling happens in a couple of ways. One is to call a lie a lie regarding this notion that food will make me feel better when I am emotional. It doesn’t. Not only does it NOT make me feel better five minutes from now (after I have inhaled it), but it makes things worse. I still have to deal with the emotions, but it is then compounded by the guilt and frustration with myself for trying to numb it with food. Truth journaling exposes this. And it does so very specifically…not generally, as I have just done in my explanation.

For instance, if I am tempted to eat a chocolate muffin when I am not hungry and it is because I just survived my son driving us through the canyon together (he just got his permit), I write down how I am feeling, “I want a chocolate muffin right now. I am not hungry. I want it because it will make me feel better. I deserve it for enduring the stressful drive through the canyon.” I then go back and number the thoughts: 1. I want a muffin. 2. I am not hungry. 3. I think the muffin will make me feel better. 4. I deserve the muffin.

Then, for each, I label if it is a truth or lie and what the corresponding truth is for that lie:
1. True. I want the muffin. 2. True. I am not hungry. 3. LIE. The muffin will NOT make me feel better and will, in fact, make me feel worse because of how I feel when I violate my boundaries of eating only when hungry. 4. LIE. I don’t “deserve” the muffin. The muffin isn’t a “reward.” Knowing that I have hung in there doing what God has called me to is a very great reward and I will praise God for my safety and delight in his joy over us!

Another approach is to deal with the emotions…this goes to the heart of it. I spent some time this morning doing this very thing and I feel better equipped to handle the day.

I am emotional with good reason. 1.) My son is driving now and living where we do, the roads are windy, narrow and everyone on the roads is insane. 🙂 2.) My horse, Breezy, gets seen tomorrow by a specialist for what may be cancer in his eye. 3.) My schedule is so jammed full of things this week that I am overwhelmed. 4.) I have a website I am developing that has taken on a life of its own for a client who I have worked out a “trade” with and now I just want it done.

I have a strong emotional response to each of these things. This morning, as I truth journalled about some of them (and I will go back and do the others), I was able to invite God to expose the lies that are at the heart of some of my emotions about them. Certainly, while worry about Breezy is understandable, it won’t help matters. In fact, Breezy senses my anxiety and it adds to his own, making it more difficult for the vet to treat him. I have anxiety about the money this will cost and, again, worry won’t help this. It is what it is.

See how this works? As I allow God to speak truth into these situations, I am better equipped to pray through them and not to yearn for food which doesn’t help matters anyhow. God is my healer and my helper. He knows all things. He knows right now about Breezy’s eye and what is causing it.

This seems so simple right now as I share it. I almost want to delete this post because I assume people might say “Duh!” But it really IS profound.

The trick is, in the moment when I feel tempted to eat or to guzzle a diet cherry pepsi, I must be willing to stop and evaluate what is TRUTH in the situation? It isn’t likely that drinking or eating something will EVER be the TRUTHful answer to what is going on.

How about you? Can you take stock and see what the truth is about why you are drawn to food? Or, at the very least, evaluate whether having this candybar or that second helping of enchiladas will *really* make you feel better, happier, whatever an hour from now? 🙂

I want to live out my freedom. As Beth Moore said last week, we can’t have our milestones until we can take captive the moment. I see Barb Raveling’s truth journaling idea as being an invaluable way of capturing the moment for the Lord and allowing my mind to be renewed with his truth…

I hope you do, too! 🙂