I have noticed that there are two types of people in Thin Within:
Those who stay on the fringes of the ministry, dabbling here and there, reading some, participating in a group or two – which I did for years! And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it! I was welcomed, accepted, and loved, and I received much in the way of encouragement and resources. And I learned and grew. But there was no “connectaccountability” – meaning no one knew when I was coming or going, or how I was doing with the program, other than what I chose to reveal in a group.
Fringe-stayers; comfy, but you don’t go anywhere (at least I didn’t!)
But I personally could just not get to a place of fully embracing the Thin Within message or implementing it into my life. That’s why I was SO glad when Heidi and Christina began their small coaching groups, as this was the opportunity I needed to be part of the second type of Thin Withinner:
Those who jump in to the program head-first, with heart in tow, and become participants in a much deeper, real-time, connected way!
Woo-hooooo!!! So glad I jumped in!
This is now ME, too!!! And I like it much better than being in the first group! (Don’t worry, it’s much easier than doing the above jump would be, but it felt almost as scary right at the beginning!)
In fact, I love small group coaching – and Heidi and Christina(!) – so much, I’m now in my fourth group!
Perhaps you have made the jump into joining a small coaching group, and started out, but then got cold feet part way through and opted to pull out.
Or maybe you stuck it out, but didn’t feel you got out of it what you hoped.
No matter what boat you’re in – or not in – I have a few tips that will help you get the most out of your involvement with a small coaching group. Note that many of them are decisions.
1) Decide right up front – as in right now ~ that you will jump in to this program, specifically into your group, with your whole heart, and that you will give it all that you can! This isn’t just about Heidi and Christina giving to us, although they do much of that! It’s about what you bring to – and give to the group. In fact, if you decide to GIVE more than you receive, you will be even more blessed, because, as we all know, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Part of what they do is facilitate us connecting with and blessing each other!
I’ve often gone to a call just feeling grimey, like I’ve failed (cuz I actually had!), and like I need a good cleansing. But after each of our calls, I feel like I have been washed fresh and clean – by the Word, by sharing my heart and being showered with encouragement, love, and compassion. My focus gets changed from being downward-focused, to being , focused on Jesus’ cleansing grace, excited to jump back in whole-heartedly and right-heartedly.
2) Do your prep work for the call each week, as much as possible, not as a legalistic or performance-based thing, not just so that you can check it off your list (which, as confirmed “To-do-a-holic,” I do LOVE checklist-checking-off!), but rather, simply because these assignments are part of the work that God is doing to bring us out of Egypt and into his promised land! In our case, it’s the Promised Land of FREEDOM FROM EMOTIONAL EATING AND BONDAGE TO FOOD!!! I SO look forward to this, but, thanks to these coaching groups, I am much closer to it than ever before!
3) But, even if you are not able to do all of the assignment, or even any of it ~ and there will be those times – decide right now – this very moment(!) – to come to every single call that you’re able to, even, if not especially, when you you don’t want to come! Heidi and Christina are sooooo gracious – ALL of the time!!! Even if we have been unable to do the assignments, we are still just as welcome on the calls! We have ALL been there, and there is no condemnation, and we have still gotten much out of our time on the call, with noone thinking less of us for it!
4) Show yourself GRACE ALL through the process, because that is absolutely the theme of this ministry, and at the very core of Heidi and Christina’s hearts! There have been many times that I have felt like I deserved a little bit of scolding, but that has NEVER EVER happened! I have received nothing but encouragement, grace, and love!
5) Determine that you will discard any and ALL thoughts of self-condemnation! This includes being down on yourself, feeling like a failure, or entertaining any ideas of quitting. Since what we are doing in these small groups is really part of our walks with the Lord – in an area we have heretofore kept in a dark closet of our hearts – there’s really nothing TO quit! This is very much part of our journey with God! We are just bringing an area of our lives into a place of allowing God to have access to it – to heal us, and bring us out of that darkness and into His wonderful light! Sometimes that light can be blinding and uncomfortable, but it’s the only place we’re going to get fully healed!
6) Decide, instead, that when you fail or “blow it,” you will “observe and correct,” and focus only on what you can learn from any failure. And we get plennnnty of practice at this with Heidi and Christina, who simply don’t accommodate any attempts to beat ourselves up!
7) Likewise, decide right now that, when the Holy Spirit shows you any sin, you will repent quickly! No groveling, no retreating from Him, no justifying, no pummeling yourself for doing it again, no pity party. Just quickly come into agreement with the Lord (about your sin) and REPENT! Respond to His loving conviction and come back quickly to Him. Do not allow it to keep you away from Him. He is our only hope for transformation anyway, so staying away from Him will only cut us off from our Source of power and change!
Jesus’ arms – and those of Heidi and Christina and everyone in our small group – are wide open to receive us and swiftly get us back on the path to peace, healing, freedom and victory!
This is actually more like what it feels like sometimes!!!
And finally…
8) Come to each call ready to be vulnerable and share what is truly on your heart! This is not the place to come with a happy-face mask and act like everything’s fine when it isn’t. This is truly a loving, caring, gracious group of ladies, under the loving and wise leadership of Heidi and Christina, and you can be totally yourself, totally vulnerable with them! You will absolutely FALL IN LOVE with these amazing people!
It’s like being part of a living, vital, growing, fruitful vine! We are all connected, all growing together, and in many ways producing sweet fruit together because of the input we all have into each others’ lives on this inter-connected leg of the journey. Yes, it’s difficult but we are in it together!
So – can you see why I am sooooo deeply grateful to be in a Thin Within coaching group with Heidi and Christina?!?
I know weight numbers are not a focus, but just so you know this really works from not only a spiritual angle, but from a physical one as well, I have lost about 30 pounds since starting this Thin Within journey! And I have another 20 or so to lose, which will put me at my natural God-given size, not necessarily “skinny.”
These small groups help me keep “walking in the light” where it’s much more difficult to hide in the darkness than when I’m “Lone Rangering” it! – which is SO easy to do when I am struggling and failing and sinning!
So if you are still on the fence, I encourage you to take this to the Lord, ask Him if this is something He wants you to be part of, and if so, don’t wait another moment to sign up and jump into this! It might feel like you’re about to do this…
…especially when you first join and come to your first group phone call. But I encourage you come to the water, LET GO of the rope – whatever is holding you back – and JUST JUMP IN!!!!
One of the best tools for renewing our minds is Truth Cards! As you’ll see herein, there are many ways to do them, and no one right or best way! Thank you to all the ladies who allowed me to use their truth cards as samples to give you even more ideas than just mine!
I’m going to give you several options for styles of Truth Cards as well as how and where you can find content for them! You may, like me, want to do a combination of various styles, so be sure to read all of these to get ideas beyond what you might have thought of thus far!
To become more familiar with the concept, watch this video by Heidi Bylsma entitled “Truth Cards -Thin Within Support“! Have a note pad handy as she shares several of her own truth cards that you can use as ideas for making yours!
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5 CONTENT SOURCE IDEAS
1) BIBLE VERSES
As you’re reading the Word, you might find a verse that, prior to now, didn’t seem like it would pertain to renewing your mind regarding food, but all of a sudden it takes on new meaning! You’ll also come across some really helpful verses in a Thin Within book, workbook, or a related resource, like Barb Raveling’s Freedom From Emotional Eating. For example:
“He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)
2) EXCERPTS FROM BOOKS & VIDEOS
These can be from any reading you do, Thin Within or not. It can be anything that stands out to you as being TRUTH that you want to capture and go deeper in you. Or the quotes can be things you hear in a video, such as the ones Heidi and Christina provide.
“I really can choose to put to death the deeds of the flesh and say no to ________. … I am free to offer my body to God for righteousness.” (from Thin Within, page 140)
3) QUESTIONS FROM BOOKS
Barb Raveling’s books typically have many questions. These are to help us process the material for ourselves. Heidi has turned several of these into truth cards! For example:
“What will happen if you continue to reward yourself with food whenever you accomplish something?”(from “Reward Eating” in I Deserve a Donut by Barb Raveling)
4) TRUTHS & TRUTH SAYINGS
These can be any truths or sayings you hear in passing, reading through posts in a Thin Within group or elsewhere on social media, or something God drops into your heart that you want to be sure to keep. It can be something profound, funny, or just helpful. For example, I found several in A Taste For Truth a 30-day study by Barb Raveling. I also turned something Heidi said into a photo truth card:
5) YOUR OWN “BEFORE” PICTURE
Heidi wrote under hers: “Life without boundaries; do you really want to go there?” (So we aren’t out to disdain ourselves!) Here’s mine using her idea:
If you are on the Thin Within journey and are using even just one or two of their many resources, most of the above content opportunities are coming at ~ splashing on ~ you all the time! Grab ones you like and get them onto Truth Cards so that you’ll have these life-changing, heart-transforming, mind-renewing truths in a format you can refer back to and get imbedded in your mind and heart! They will actually become part of your spiritual DNA!
5 TRUTH CARD STYLES
There are several methods for making Truth Cards, and I enjoying using all of them! But if you want to stick with just one that you’re comfortable with, that’s totally fine!
Most start with a simple pack of spiral-bound index cards. The ones I got are 4X6″ and have lines on one side. I’m currently using the plain side to make mine. I’ll eventually hand-write on the lined side. Here’s the card pack I’m using:
There are other ways to do them (as you’ll see in a moment), but having them spiral-bound keeps them all in one place, making it easy to go through them.
In the Thin Within Discussion and Support group, people have posted lots of Truth Cards that they have made! (I’ll tell you at the end of this post how to easily find them!) I’m sharing a few of those truth cards herein so that you can see the variety of styles right here in one spot.
You can do them on your computer or totally free-hand; you can decorate them or just leave them plain! Here are several style options with samples of each.
1) HAND-WRITTEN – PLAIN ‘N’ SIMPLE
You can write or print your cards freehand, in your own simple handwriting or fancy-schmancy calligraphy.
Judith Eastham made these two:
Jodi Ghere did her truth cards lengthwise:
(Start at the bottom and read upward! The word “grace” ends up covering you, with “the law” being under grace!)
2) CREATE ON YOUR COMPUTER
For those who are computer-savvy, creating them this way is fun and handy! You’ll want to create a template, test it out, and adjust font sizes and margins to make sure your cards fit whatever cards you’ll be putting them onto. (I have a free printable for you further down!)
Here’s one I made using a photo I took and combining a verse with a truth:
Kathryn Felts printed and then cut out the verse, glued it on to a card…
…and then cut out pictures (nostalgically appealing to all of us paper doll lovers of yesteryear!) that go sweetly with the verse, and glued them on around the verse.
Here’s one I made; how I decorated it is in #4 in the “Scrapbookesque” section below.
3) HAND-WRITTEN & DECORATED
Those who enjoy doodling, crafting, and cut-and-pasting (literally, like with actual glue) can embellish their Truth Cards with papers, fancy fonts and/or pictures they get from magazines, newspapers, etc.
Amy Flink made this one:
This was made by Kathryn Felts:
Deanna Lewis hand-printed this and added a strip of designer paper on the left:
4) SCRAPBOOKESQUE
I type up my truths on my computer, and then format them into the size that fits onto whatever page I want it to go in. (I only had to format once, after that I just enter my truth sayings, and then resize the font to fit into that template.) Then I print them from my computer, and create mini scrapbook-like pages with using scrapbooking supplies I have on hand.
I used corner punches, designer papers, and a die for the scallops.
(This one above is a different size/shape from the free printable that I’ll give you shortly.)
Cynthia Sullivan gathered scriptures she found in magazines and that people gave her, cut them out, and glued them onto index cards:
Marge Purvis’ sister had these made for her, with her name inserted into the verses!
(If I got any truth card credits wrong, or missed you, pleeeease let me know!)
5) FLIP CALENDAR ALTERING:
Christina Motley suggested getting a flip calendar (old or new) and choosing verses from it that would work as Truth Cards. I loooove Thomas Kinkade’s art, so here is the Thomas Kinkade flip calendar I got:
For example, here’s one of the inside pages…
To transform it into a Truth Card, rip it out of the calendar, trim it, and glue it to a card in your card pack. Fast and simple! And it fit perfectly on the 4″X6″ card!
[OCD WARNING!!!] I didn’t like having the date on there, out of context, so I covered it with a little punched-out piece that I wrote a related mini prayer on:
(You could just as easily write on a rectangular piece.)
MORE TRUTH CARD IDEAS!
First, here’s that FREE PRINTABLE! 24 Truth Cards that I created. 20 of them are just text, the last 4 are photos + text on the photos. Here are screenshots of them:
You are welcome to decorate them any way you like! Or just use these for ideas to hand-print your own! Here are the downloadable files:
There are many ideas in the Thin Within Discussion & Support group!!! Amy Flink and Cathy Maher posted hundreds of pictures of their own Truth Cards! (Thank you, ladies!!!)
You will not necessarily print these out and use them (though you could), but this is a treasure trove of truth card statement ideas!!! Plus you can get ideas for how to decorate them, if that doesn’t come naturally to you! Here’s what they look like, once you get to that area:
HOW TO FIND THEM
Go to the Thin Within Discussion & Support group, click “join” if you aren’t a member, once you are (a member), click on “Photos” and scroll down to 2014. They’re easy to spot, as many of them are lumped together, as above!
Here’s how it looks on my computer. You can see “Photos” in the column on the left side.
Here’s the same page on my phone ~ “Photos” is circled in red. (File locations vary on different phones, but at least you have two ideas of where to look.)
Once you’re in Photos, scroll all the way down to the bottom, January 2014, and they’ll be nearby. Scrolling up… and up… and up… you’ll find LOTS of Truth Card ideas!
In the wide world of losing weight, despite all the tricks, tips, programs and techniques, there is only one way for weight to actually be “lost” or “released.” Are you ready? Here it is…
To lose weight, the body must be allowed to utilize its own fat stores.
In other words, our previously-eaten fuel reserves ~ also known as fat ~ must be accessed and used.
If, on any given day, I consume the same number of calories as my body uses, (not that I count calories, cuz I don’t,) my weight will stay the same because my food intake matched and took care of my body’s fuel needs.
And if you eat more food than your body uses, you will gain weight.
So, this means that… even if you eat only healthy foods; even if you exercise, work out, use the stairs instead of the elevator, park in the furthest parking spot, and choose the menu item with a little heart beside it…
…if you do not eat less than your body actually needs to function, thus putting your metabolism into a state of being required to access its own previously-eaten fat stores to obtain energy, you will not lose your excess weight. It will stay exactly where it’s at, decorating your body.
But this is not an enjoyable experience, and is where many of us lose it ~ as in fail to lose our excess weight.
I have a simple tool, but first I need to give you a…
QUICK INTRO TO THE THIN WITHIN APPROACH
To understand where I’m going next with this, you need a basic understanding of what Thin Within is about. So here it is, straight from Thin Within’s “About” page:
“Thin Within is based on three principles: physical, emotional and spiritual. The physical principle emphasizes that we eat only when truly hungry and stop eating before we are full.
At Thin Within, we use what we call a “Hunger Scale” to track eating patterns. We encourage people to eat when they are at a “0”, or truly hungry, and stop eating when they are at a “5”, which is before they are full.
We don’t use labels such as “good” foods or “bad” foods. However, as people learn to respond to their God-given signals of hunger and fullness, and forego worldly legalistic food rules, they will begin to enjoy the freedom of making healthy well-balanced food and eating choices.”
In addition to following these eating principles, emotional and spiritual aspects are also addressed:
“The emotional principle of Thin Within addresses the fact that we often eat in response to being upset, excited, anxious, nervous, depressed, lonely bored, etc.
At such times we turn to food to fill an emotional or spiritual emptiness, rather than for its intended purpose, which is physical nourishment. If this substitution becomes a habit, food can become an idol rather than a God-given gift.
The spiritual principles of Thin Within come in to play because it is often hard for us to eat from “0” to “5” in our own strength. We need supernatural strength and power to overcome fleshy habits and indulgence.
While food may provide some pleasure, physical nourishment it is not intended to provide spiritual fulfillment, which can only be met through a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father…”
There’s lots more, but that’s a good intro! Now let’s pull all this together.
No matter what my approach or plan, my body needs to use up its own fat reserves, which is going to mean some discomfort for me. It may be physical, emotional, spiritual, or any or ALL of those. And that is where the P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Zone enters the picture! (It may not be uncomfortable for all, but at my age, with my slower metabolism, it gets uncomfortable for me when I’m at a 0. Not pain; just discomfort.)
The P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Zone
The capitalized letters in this acronym spell “PERFUME” which stands for: Previously-Eaten Fuel Utilization & Metabolism Enhancement Zone:
P = Previously
E = Eaten
R = Reserve
F = Fuel
U = Utilization &
M = Metabolism
E = Enhancement
Zone
This not a product; there’s nothing to buy. It’s simply a way of regarding and dealing with hunger. (I made it up, so you won’t find it on the Web.)
The “Previously-Eaten Fuel Utilization” aspect is simply allowing my body to utilize the “fuel” that I have previously eaten in excess, which I’m now storing as fat on my person.
So now I must allow ~ more like push ~ my body into that mode of accessing my stored fuel by eating less fuel than I use.
Very simply, this means I need to allow myself to get hungry so that my fat reserves are accessed for fuel. There have been times in my life when I have not felt true hunger for months. No wonder I am overweight! And that is precisely where the problem is for me!!! Because, very simply…
I DO NOT LIKE TO ALLOW MYSELF TO GET HUNGRY!!!
It is NOT fun, I DON’T enjoy it, and my “flesh man” wants to avoid it at all costs, cuz it just wants to EAT all the time!
But, if I’m going to lose my excess weight, I must stop that, and think and live O-5 eating.
Yes, there are other options, like surgery, but I don’t want to go there. (My sister did, and it was a good choice for her.) I want to bring the heart stuff (junk) that’s been lurking in the dark corners of my heart for years out into the light and dealt with so that I can live in freedom for the rest of my life.
Which, by the way, will be much shorter ~ or at least less comfortable and active ~ if I don’t tend to this weighty matter. (Pun intended.)
So I must allow my body to utilize its fat stores.
I have a feelingthat when we are getting down to a 2 and a 1, we are actually starting then to access our fat stores. (If anyone knows, please let us know in the comments!)
And that is where the “P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Zone” comes in. It’s that zone between “starting to empty” and “true hunger.” However, for it to be the “P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Zone,” I must make a heart connection that I’ll explain in a moment. But first…
WHAT IS TRUE HUNGER?
First, a couple things hunger isn’t…
It’s not just wanting food. If you are not physiologically hungry, but you want or even crave food, that’s “heart hunger” or “head hunger.” Heart hunger is just as real as “true physiological hunger,” and it’s very very strong, but it’s not true physiological hunger.
Neither growling nor rumbling constitute true hunger, either. One or the other ~ or both ~ might accompany true hunger, but they aren’t reliable indicators that you’re truly hungry.
True hunger is where your stomach feels that gnawing, slightly burning sensation – aka a “hunger pang.” To be hungry can be (is for me) a bit uncomfortable, which is actually its purpose – to motivate us enough to get nourishment and thus enable ourselves to live.
WHERE IT GETS HARD
But this is where it gets hard! Emotionally ~ because, as I believe I have mentioned, I LIKE to eat! I LIKE food!!!
A little while after we eat, (and how long depends on how much we just ate,) we start to feel our stomach “emptying.” This feels a little like being hungry, but it’s not yet true hunger. In the book God’s Chosen Fast, Arthur Wallis said that, when we stop eating, the walls of our stomach start to shrink, and that is what we are actually feeling at this point. So we shouldn’t confuse that with hunger. And that does make total sense.
But, no matter how much sense it makes, if my heart is not dealt with, and my flesh is still in control of my eating, head hunger kicks in at this point and beckons me to the kitchen… or to my purse where there’s a packet of trail mix… or to Burger King where something yummy can be ordered real quick-like! But I’m actually only at a 3 or a 2 or a 1 at this “stomach-emptying-and-shrinking” point. I don’t get ~ or need ~ to eat until I’m all the way down to a zero.
So, instead of gleefully rushing to get food, I need to allow my body to shift into utilizing its own fat stores. If I take in food at this point ~ when I’m only at a 3, 2 or 1 ~ I will actually stop up the process of allowing my body to make this shift over to utilizing my fat- I mean FUEL reserve.
Because my flesh is strong, and it wants what it wants ~ food, in this case (in fact, food by the case sounds great!) ~ and, as I may have mentioned, it wants it now. so this is hard!
And this is exactly when I am in a prime position to enter the “P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Zone”!
Meaning… I choose to sacrifice my desire to eat right now, and I offer up that desire to God as a living sacrifice. A fragrance to Him.
But I need His grace working in me to even be able to do this.
SCRIPTURES THAT SHED MORE LIGHT
There are several Bible verses that shed more light onto the concepts of fragrance, perfume, and sacrifice.
“Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:2)
Christ’s sacrificial act of giving Himself up was a fragrance to God. Likewise, I want my giving up my right to eat what, when, and how much I want to be a pleasing fragrance to God as well!
Giving up my right to eat (now and a lot) is actually part of “walk(ing) in the way of love,” as I am loving myself, which we are told to do in Matthew 22:39:
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
By shedding my excess weight, I’m loving my family, too, because I’ll be better able to serve them, and hopefully for a longer time.
This sacrifice is “expensive” for me. It’s costing me full rights to myself. But our Lord, whose sacrifice on the cross was more “expensive” than I could ever imagine, is worth it, isn’t He?
“BE HANGRY, BUT SIN NOT”
Then there’s the matter of our mood when we’re getting hungry. “Hangry,” which is “hungry and angry” at the same time, is the perfect term for it. Is your grumpiness evident to all when you’re in a bad mood? Over anything, not just not getting all the food you want, when you want it?
If so, the other part of my sacrifice, is laying down my right to act out my “hanger” while in this grumpy-feeling state. Sure, I can feel grumpy; there is NO sin in that! But don’t need or get to act grumpy. What’s that scripture?
“Be (h)angry, but sin not.” (Eph. 4:26)
Since this doesn’t come naturally to most of us, the heart ‘n’ soul of getting and staying in the “P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Zone” is choosing to allow God to help me crucify my flesh to the cross, and to be pleasant, despite how I feel or what I desire.
(I delve into this more in my article “Be Hangry, But Sin Not.”)
METABOLISM ENHANCEMENT
So what does the “metabolism enhancement” aspect mean?
First, we don’t want to slow it down by eating too little or being hungry for an extended time! Like starving myself.
“You slash your daily calories to fewer than 1,000, and sure enough, the pounds melt away. But when you eat so few calories, you train your metabolism to slow down. Once the diet is over, you have a body that burns calories more slowly, and you usually regain the weight.”
And once your metabolism has slowed down, weight is harder to release because the body, thinking it’s not going to get more food, slows down to conserve!
We want to increase our metabolism. We do this by increasing both activity and (thus, eventually) muscle.
Exercise is about more than just “using up calories” or “moving” and staying flexible. When we exercise, we are actually building muscle, and, what’s cool is that it’s the muscle tissue in our bodies that increases our metabolism by using calories even when we are just sitting! How cool is that?!? So “Use it, or lose it” really applies here!
Drinking ample water also helps increase our metabolism. I think of it as lubricating the weight-loss process – which it does, literally and figuratively.
So when I first start sensing that emptying-but-not-yet-hungry feeling, I like to get a glass of water, (also a “sacrifice” because I’m not crazy about water), and then do some moving. When I most feel like just sitting and waiting for it to be time to eat, that is actually the best time to go for a walk and get myself moving, and alsoto renew my mind so that my heart gets pried off of food, and transformed into a heart that longs for the Lord more than it longs for food!
If waiting for true hunger is a challenge to you; if you tend to be cranky when you don’t get what you want, especially when it comes to food, and you want to view this differently and get more out of the process, apply these ideas about “the P.E.R.F.U.M.E. Zone” and get more spiritual mileage out of it!
Let me know in the comments how it goes for you, and any other insights you want to add!
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A note to you who are
[uuuuuum]
“not as young anymore”
When I was younger, losing weight was much easier. It was never “fun,” but it wasn’t nearly as hard as it is now at age 65.
As we age, our bodies tend to slow down, so our metabolisms naturally slow down, too. Partly just because of aging, but also partly because of not being as active as I used to be, which is partly because of aging. It’s a vicious circle that I have not done the best job of being on top of.
For me, there were the additional hindrances to being active that resulted from several injuries, plantar faciitis, and a knee surgery, each one slowing me down or altogether stopping me physically for weeks at a time. These also messed up my efforts and desire to have a regular exercise routine ~ which was already a challenge for me ~ and basically took the wind out of my sails. Or I let it.
Plus life just changes once children are grown up and out of the house. Less movement is required to maintain your normal day-to-day living, unless you have an otherwise active lifestyle or job, or unless you have a naturally active lifestyle and/or have applied yourself to physical exercise.
This is all a natural part of life, but we have to be UNnatural and very intentional to combat it.
So, at my age, I now have to allow myself to stay at a 0 for a little longer period of time if I want to release weight. The way I’d put it is that I have adjusted my “0” a bit. Since how we define a zero is quite subjective (who knows how and what we really feel), there’s room for adjustment anyway, so we have the freedom to define it in a way that works for us.
For example, I know of older gals who have said Thin Within doesn’t work for them. They did 0-5 eating for a long period of time, but didn’t lose weight. I wonder if they had adjusted their numbers a bit, redefining their “5” to be more what they had been thinking of as a “4,” and their “0” as a little more hungry.
As Heidi puts it, we need to allow ourselves to get “good and hungry.” If I only allow myself to get “barely hungry” for just a minute and then go ahead and eat, especially at my older age with my lower metabolism, I will likely not release weight.
So we just need to invite the Lord into this process and ask Him for wisdom and discernment in how to apply all this to our own unique situations, and also surrender our flesh and wills to His lordship!
Am I the only one who finds it SOOOO hard to wait for a zero ~ “true hunger”? There are many things in my life that I do even though I don’t want to do them… like doing the laundry… dishes… going places when I’d rather stay home… I even shower, floss, wash my face, and make my bed when I’d really rather not!!!
And there are many things in the Thin Within world I do even if I can think of other things I’d rather be doing…
Having a phone chat with Heidi and Christina and our group? ~ I’d rather be napping at the 3:00 hour, but these chats are worth staying awake!!!!!!
Writing a blog post (which is like journaling for me)? ~ Lots of work, even drudgery at times, but a richly-rewarding process!!!
Making or reading through my Truth Cards? ~ Encouraging to read, fun to make!!!
Reading and commenting in the forums? ~ I love being encouraged and giving encouragement!!!
Adding to my God List? ~ A joy that helps shift my mood and my focus!!!
But waiting for zero? ~ UUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!! I DON’T WANT TO!!!!
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There!!! I said it!!! I just reeeeeeeally DON’T. WANT. TO!!!!!!!!
In my favor, there have been lengthy seasons in which I have been able to shift into that dreaded-yet-coveted state of being able to eat within the 0-to-5 eating boundaries. But then [whatever in the world?!] happens, and the weight that I so diligently and joyfully lost, inches its way back onto my person! Annnnd :::sad exasperated sigh::: the favor dissipates.
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ENTER: TERRI!
In the midst of one of these downward detours in my forever-long struggle, one day I happened upon a post by Terri Graham in the Thin Within Discussion and Support group on Facebook. (At least I was searching and not just retreating into a dark corner, which is my tendency in such times.) And Terri graciously allowed me to share it here. She wrote:
I just finished the chapter titled “Holy Struggle” in the Hunger Within book. A question following the chapter asks:
“Do you view the principle of choosing to eat only when hungry and stopping before you are full as an ‘objectionable obligation’ or an ‘inviting opportunity’? If you don’t see this as an inviting opportunity, why not?”
I realized that I do indeed view it as an objectionable obligation. Why? Because it is hard and takes time and patience.
My food (and my right to eat it) is “mine” and I really have held onto it like a petulant child not wanting to give up her pacifier when it is time.
Today I confess this and I repent. I ask God to change my mind and my heart so that I will see it as an inviting opportunity. I need to renew my mind in this matter.
What about you? Why is this an obligation vs. opportunity? What are the truths you use to help you see it as inviting and as an opportunity?
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GETTING REAL
So, getting real with myself (not my favorite thing to do,) why do I see this as an “objectionable obligation” rather than an “inviting opportunity”?
It feels like an obligation because my “flesh man” – which wants what it wants, and wants it now – is being restrained and constrained. It’s not getting what it wants right this very second.
Terri’s reference to the “petulant child not wanting to give up her pacifier” rang embarrassingly true as that very thought had just recently crossed my mind.
Many times, in the heat of a battle of whether to eat when I’m not hungry or to go ahead and indulge and eat more than I need (beyond a 5), self-discipline is the last thing I’m interested in! The image of a baby not getting what it wants is a perfect depiction of ME! Well, lacking the baby-cuteness.
So I thought I’d explore that a bit, and asked my friends on Facebook for photos of babies and their pacifiers. I actually only wanted one photo ~ of a baby whose pacifier had just been removed ~ so they’d be angry ~ which would give me an in-my-face view of what I myself must look like to God when I’m not getting my way.
What I got was several pictures!!! And I realized that, together, they made up a darling, but a little-too-vivid composite picture of my own attitudes toward food. Since this is not the cutest thing to see in a grown woman (me), I will let these babies “say it all” for me! Cutely, which my attitudes aren’t, but these babies are!
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“I love my food. Totally contented with my food. See how contented I am?”
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“You’re not really going to ask me to give up my food, are you?”
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“But I wannnnnnnt it! I neeeeeeeeed it!!!”
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“Nooooo!!! Please let me have my food!”
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“I know! I’ll HIDE some so no one will know about it!!!”
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“You wouldn’t really take away something I cherish SO much, right?!?!”
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“I’m warning you; do NOT take away my food! Seriously ~ JUST. DO. NOT!!!”
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“Pleeeeeeease let me have it!!!!! I waaaannnt it!!!”
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“I CAN’T believe you TOOK it from me!!!!!!!!!”
(Thank you to the mommies of these little dolls ~ Shannon, Beth, Trieste, Maggie, Mandie, and Stacie, plus a grandma, Mary ~ for letting me use these precious photos!!! )
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BACK TO DISCIPLINE
Okay, that was a fun ~ even though too-familiar-feeling ~ detour. Back to discipline and my distaste for it…
I’m not off in disliking it. This verse in Matthew (11:28) says:
“For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant…”
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“Seems” painful?!?!? Feels pretty outright painful to ME!!! No “seeming” about it! But it’s in the Word, so it must be true. So I’ll come back to it in a moment.
Viewing “having to wait till I’m hungry to eat” as being an opportunity requires thinking beyond my current flesh-indulging state of mind and heart. However, it’s the only way that the rest of that verse can become reality, which is actually a pretty sweet reality:
“…but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
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And getting that peaceful fruit of righteousness is really the ultimate “opportunity,” isn’t it?!?!
So, once again, back to Jesus’ feet I go to confess this sin of self-focus and self-indulgence, and repent.
And I must remind myself (again) that repenting means I turn 180° and go ~ as in live and walk ~ the opposite direction! Not 360°! ~ a gaffé I’ve heard spoken by a well-meaning teacher! Which, if you think about it mathematically, actually means “coming full-circle,” right back around to the very state of sin we wanted to repent from.
Not exactly repentance, but it sounds sadly similar to what I have too often done. 😣 (The verse about a dog returning to its vomit comes to mind.😣)
I ask God to change my mind and heart so that I will see eating only when I am at a zero as the “inviting opportunity” that it truly is. My flesh man can’t see this because of its inherent trait of being blind.
Solution? My flesh man needs to DIE so that my spirit man can be free to grow and thrive, which will enable me to see things as God sees them. This is no small feat (specially in ME), yet I know it is nothing that God can’t handle. And it’s totally accessible via re-surrendering my will and then renewing my mind on an ongoing basis!!!
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HIS INVITATION
Back to the question of whether we see this as an “inviting opportunity.” I thought it would be fun to look into the word inviting a bit more deeply.
An invitation always bids the invitee to come to something. So what might that “something” be, specifically, if the Lord is the One doing the inviting?
Just for starters, here are three things I found in the Word that we are invited to:
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1) Come to the Lord’s own TABLE.
Jesus, the King of Kings, invites us to dine with Him and tells us in Psalm 23 that He prepares a spread for us! And I’m sure is not just scraps!
“You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” (Psalms 23:5)
(He’s not going to feed us flowers either; those are just the decorations!)
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2) Come to JESUS and find REST!
This journey through life can be full of heaviness, but the Lord doesn’t want us to carry the burdens by ourselves! He invites us to:
“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)
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3) Come and TALK with Him!
The God of the universe actually wants to converse with us! And He has time for us!!!
“My heart has heard you say, ‘Comeandtalkwithme, O my people.’ And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” (Psalms 27:8)
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What we get out of the deal by submitting to God’s discipline ~ which, for us Thin Withiners, is 0-5 eating ~ far outweighs, outshines, and overshadows any pain involved. This is why I believe it’s worded that “all discipline seems painful…” What’s truly painful is not accepting God’s loving invitation to embrace discipline and receive ALL that He has in store for us. Living with our self-indulgent heart day after day, month after month, and year after year is anything but pleasant!
Terri had a bit more to say:
“One of the baby pictures of a sleeping baby brought to mind, strangely or maybe not, the parable of the wise virgins. Does that food pacifier keep me from filling my lamp with oil? Does it dull my hunger for God? I think so. I need to make some truth cards for this.
Come, Lord Jesus, YOU are the answer to our every need!!! Help us GET this, HEAR this, RECEIVE what You are saying to us, APPLY it to our hearts and our thinking, FILL our lamps with the oil of the Holy Spirit, STOP dulling our hunger for You and things of You, and WALK IN VICTORY in this!!!!!
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I’m sure there are many more “invitations” in the Word, and I’d love to hear any others that you find!!!
And I’d also love to see your responses to Terri’s two questions above:
What about you? ~ Why is this an obligation vs. opportunity? ~and~ What are the truths you use to help you see it as inviting and as an opportunity?
Image courtesy of nongpimmy at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
We get so discouraged when we break a boundary. We eat when we aren’t hungry (zero). We blow past satisfaction (5). We bring out that “club of condemnation” one more time (sigh). But wait! STOP! Pause. Freeze it right there! Come a little closer to the screen. Yes, there. Now let me tell you a little secret (hands cupped over your ear): Failure leads to victory! Sorry, did I shout that into your ear instead of whispering. Sorry! I just get a little excited!
It’s true! It’s not about following your boundaries 100% all.of.the.time. It’s about going to God if you break your boundaries. We get so upset when we break our boundaries. We feel bad about ourselves. We think we will never be able to follow our boundaries. So then we overeat because we feel bad about ourselves. It’s like this vicious cycle that is perpetuated by our thoughts, beliefs, despair, thinking we will never be skinny anyway, so we might as well eat. Sound familiar?
But what would happen if we looked at every boundary breakage (aka failure) and renewed our mind instead? What if instead of feeling bad about ourselves and discouraged, we got really excited because we get to get closer to the Lord because of our failure?
I tell you what would happen: we would have victory!
I’ve seen it! I’ve experienced this! I’ve tasted it! When I break a boundary, I get so excited that I get to sit with Jesus and talk things over. Maybe I’m just an odd one…wait…I KNOW I’m an odd one! But really, I do get excited to renew my mind and bring all of my thoughts and feelings before the Lord. I love that as I am real with Him, He shows me His truth.
So how does this work? How does failure turn into victory?
Here’s an example: Evening was the most tempting time for me to want to overeat. I had a really hard time breaking the habit of eating outside of my boundaries in the evening. I would put my daughter to bed and then immediately I would make some popcorn or grab some sort of snack, and then eat it in front of the TV (distraction, mindless eating). It wouldn’t matter if I was hungry or not, that’s the habit I had developed over the years (and well before my daughter). I knew I wanted to change it, but I kept on doing it. I would feel so bad and would feel like I failed yet again. My solution (well, God’s solution) was that after I put my daughter to bed, I would sit and read through my truth cards, or I would answer a set of questions from I Deserve a Donut in my journal, and reading scriptures. I took that time to renew my mind. Change didn’t happen right away, but as I took the time each night to renew my mind, little by little, day by day, the Lord was transforming me, until one day I no longer had the urge to grab something to eat after putting my daughter to bed. And since then, I just wait until I’m hungry to have an evening snack. And sometimes I am not hungry for a snack, and I’m totally ok with that. That’s a huge change! Victory!
It wasn’t self-control. It wasn’t will-power. It was GOD who changed me! My part was being self-disciplined in taking the time to sit with Him and renew my mind.
Failure led to victory!
We try to change our outcome through our own strength. We think if we change our habit or behavior first, then our thoughts and beliefs will line up. But it’s actually the other way around. First, we have to change our thoughts and beliefs, and THEN we will change our habits and behavior. We tell ourselves that we will “do better next time.” We strive and put forth all of our own human effort to see change in our eating habits, but when we lean upon ourselves to make it happen, we will only become weak and tired. It’s God who helps us overcome. It’s not in our own strength. So each time we go to Him and repent after we’ve sinned, we are transformed more and more to His likeness. When we renew our mind after overeating, we are transformed.
I look at failure as opportunity to grow. I look at failure as practice.
It took Thomas Edison 1,000+ times before he had the invention of the light bulb “perfected”. Every failure led to victory. He didn’t give up. And just because we overate just now or last night, it doesn’t mean we smash all of the light bulbs and give up. It means we keep going forward. We renew our mind. We go to God. We think that because of failing to follow our boundaries, that we need new boundaries. Maybe you’ve been really trying your best to follow your boundaries of eating between hunger and satisfaction, but you keep overeating. Does that mean your boundaries don’t work? No way! It means it’s time to renew your mind. It’s time to go sit at the feet of Jesus and drink in His truth.
So the next time you are tempted to fail: go to Jesus. Renew your mind. The next time you break a boundary: seek His truth. And know that each time you do, you are one step closer to victory! Sweet, sweet victory!!
Would you like to know more about renewing your mind? There are so many great resources on this website and blog about doing just that. Do you have a set of truth cards? If not, you can learn more about it here. I also have recorded a set of my truth cards on a Sound Cloud file that you can find here. Do you have a set of questions to help aid you in renewing your mind such as Barb Raveling’s I Deserve a Donut? How else can we, at Thin Within, help to encourage you to renew your mind and see failure as victory?
