A few years ago God took me on an emotional healing journey, which lasted about 4 years. It was a very hard time in my life, but such a blessing at the same time. One of the areas the Lord addressed was my area of security, or rather, my lack of security in Him. It was really about where I was placing my identity, because it certainly wasn’t in Christ.
It all started when the Lord asked me a question. I had been waiting for a few years for Him to fulfill a promise He specifically gave me in a dream. It wasn’t only a promise, but a desire He placed in my heart. And so in that discouraging time of not seeing the evidence of His promise, He asked me, “If you never had this thing, would I be enough for you?” I remember right where I was, standing in front of our dining room table. I didn’t have to think about His question for very long at all when I spouted off, “No!” I wasn’t ready to sacrifice that promise. Oh, it really bothered me that He would ask me that. How dare He!? And so the journey to placing my true identity in Christ began.
I knew in my head who I was in Christ. I read my Bible. I spent time praying and in Bible studies. I only listened to Christian music. I sang on the worship team at church and was a leader for the youth group. I knew my stuff, but I was so insecure. I had fears. I didn’t like myself. I didn’t even know who I was. And I really didn’t know who I was in Christ.
Over a long period of time, the Lord showed me all of the things I was putting my security and identity in. He would show me one thing, we would work on that one thing, and then it was on to the next thing. I’m glad He worked slowly with me because otherwise it would have felt very overwhelming. I was shocked at the things I was placing my identity and security in. It was in food, in my friends, in my husband, in where I lived, in my past, in being a mother, in my job, etc. There were so many things. I remember the day he showed me how I was putting my security into one particular friendship. I couldn’t believe it!
When I say I didn’t know myself, I mean I didn’t even know the basics about myself. Like, I didn’t even know what my favorite color was. I believed it was blue and purple, but after awhile the Lord showed me that I only liked those colors because they were “safe” colors to like. (My favorite color is actually orange!) Even a little toddler might know their favorite color. (I think my daughter likes pink!) But that’s how lost I was.
I even believed things about the Bible, but I didn’t really have anything to stand on aside from what someone told me to believe. So I had to start at ground zero with some of those beliefs. The Lord took me back to the basics and taught me
His truth so I could know without a doubt why I believe what I believe. I couldn’t lean upon someone else’s Bible teaching. I had to go to the Teacher Himself!
I wore masks. I pretended to be invisible. I didn’t want anyone to know the real me because the real me could get hurt. The real me could cry and feel pain. It felt safer to hide behind all of my false identities. No one could hurt the real me because they didn’t know the real me.
And the Lord stripped all of my defenses away. I had built a wall around my heart, and He began to tear it down brick by brick. There were times it was so scary that I was trying to build up that wall again even as He was taking it down, but of course He won that battle. Praise God! He showed me my true identity in Christ. All of the façade was washed away. All of my defenses were brought down. But I wasn’t left desolate or feeling naked. As the Lord revealed the false identities, He also began to clothe me with my true identity. It really was and is a beautiful work!
I praise Him for what He’s done. I can honestly say that I’m at a place where I know who I am in Christ. Yes, there are times when I’m tried and tested, but ultimately, I am no longer moved or threatened by things as I used to be. I keep my eyes on Christ and He is there with me. There are quirks about me (we all have them), but I rejoice knowing that this is how the Lord made me. And He loves me for me! All of those false identities went to the wayside because I know that I am something without them, but I am nothing without God.
So let’s go back to that original question that started all of this: “Is God enough?”
And my question now is a loud and joyous YES!!!!!!!
I can honestly say that I got to that place where I knew in my heart that if I never saw the fulfillment of His promise, that I would still praise Him. That I would still live for Him. The realization that brought me the most joy was knowing that no matter what, I can still have more of God! He is enough for me!
Nothing fulfills or satisfies me like the Lord does. Like Jesus does. It’s like an overflowing cup. He just keeps on pouring in and I am full of Him. It’s so beautiful! Nothing in this world satisfies my heart like He does. Not my friends, not my job, not my husband, not my house, not my role as a mother, not food, not anything.
Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. Matthew 24:35
It was a journey. Four years feels like forever when you are in the midst of it. But it was so worth it. Maybe you are in the midst of a similar journey. Maybe you have no idea who you really are or who you are in Christ. My friend, He will show you! He wants to fulfill that desire. He wants to satisfy you. No food will satisfy that. No person will. No job. No amount of money. No friend. Only Jesus!
You are precious in His sight. He loves you. He wants to be your Protector. He wants to clothe you in Him and His righteousness. He is drawing you to Him. Allow Him to take down those defenses and those false identities. And He will give you all that you need, He will not leave you defenseless.
Your identity is in Christ. He is Your rock! Stand upon Him!
How about you?
Is your true identity in Christ, or are you hiding behind false identities? How do you see this come into play with your eating? If God were to ask you if He was enough for you, would you be able to give him a joyful “YES!” or would you tell Him “No!” like I did that first time? He is our strong tower, our refuge…run to Him and HE will keep you safe!
Tonight (before this posts tomorrow), the Lord has been prompting me to ask another question. What if you never reached your “goal weight”, would He still be enough for you? He’s not saying you won’t get to your God-given weight. What He wants to shine His light on is, are you focusing so much on a goal weight or size that it’s become a false identity in your life? Have you used food, dieting, or your reason to lose weight as something you have hidden behind or have found comfort in? He wants to be enough for you, no matter what your weight or size. He is more concerned about your heart. Is your heart fully His?
Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear:
Forget your people and your father’s house.
The king is enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord.
Do you feel like you enthrall the King of Kings with your beauty? He speaks this truth on the pages of His eternal Word—but do you, like many of us, have difficulty believing it?
Many of us have come to Thin Within or to this blog because of something external we want to change—our eating habits, our weight due to our eating habits, or something similar. We may not feel beautiful at all.
Some of us may be visiting this website because we have heard that Thin Within isn’t merely about externals–and that there is some new content and you want to experience the newness, freshness and freedom! You may even be fed up with focusing on externals and long for something that will encourage your *heart*.
Maybe you are just sick of the dieting treadmill!
Let me be frank. My goal at this blog and in my coaching ministry isn’t that you be a gorgeous, thin, creature that commands the attention and envy of every man and woman on the planet! It isn’t even that you be physically healthy, though that is a wonderful goal.
Frankly, my goal is to support you as you continue to grow in beauty from the inside out. I love seeing a life turned upside down with the power of praising our God and I KNOW that this has a direct impact on how we view food, our bodies and our eating!
No matter why you are here or what your expectations may be, you can rest assured that our God and King is a God of surprises—he can meet you and far exceed your hopes and dreams. The story he desires to live out with you can be a glorious testimony of this fact.
You may have your sights set on something extremely concrete or a very tangible goal, “I must gain enough weight to be 110 pounds,” or “I simply have to weigh less than 200 pounds!” or “I need to fit into that size 7 dress by my 20 year high-school reunion!” We have all kinds of folks that visit this blog.
You may know that at the heart of your struggle is an addiction that has its coils wrapped around you like a snake constricting its prey prior to devouring it. You may feel devoured…constricted, captured and snared. (Please know that a #1 truth is that Jesus has paid for our freedom. He HAS done it. He HAS won it. We get to walk it out!)
Regardless of your thoughts about where you currently find yourself, there is One who comes to rescue you from the dominion of darkness. He may lead you on a more circuitous route than what you have in mind. You can trust that He will only lead you where you need to go. Nothing will be wasted. His ways are beyond fathoming. He has in mind much discovery for you as you get to know Him better, get to know yourself better, and participate as the tale is penned, as the dance commences, as the journey unfolds.
You can rest assured this will be exactly what you need—no more, no less.
You may feel like you have been in this position before. If you have had enough of Mondays, “fresh starts,” new beginnings, and “this-time-it-will-be-different”s, then you are right where you need to be!
What About You?
Can you take an inventory? What do you DREAM of? What do you hope to become? Dare you write it on a page? Dare you bring it before the King of Kings, the Creator of the Universe, who gives birth to our dreams? While it is true that he sometimes allows a dream to die even as he ignites a new dream within us—HIS dream in us—we are safe with Him, sharing with Him what we long for.
Why not take some time today and write down what you long for? Hope for? Dream of? No one needs to see it.
Once you do this, sit with the Lord with the page open before Him and offer it to him. Invite him to see your dreams. Welcome him to either make them come true or replace them with his wonderful desire for you so that you can dare to dream God-shaped dreams for your future.
If you would like, you can share with us here how you feel about this exercise.
Well, it’s what you do when you are preparing to go into a situation where you know you won’t be able to have food: a courtroom, a class, a seminar, church service, classroom situation, doctor’s appointment, DMV line, etc. Since you know you will not be able to have food for an hour or two (or longer) and you are concerned you will get hungry and not be able to eat, preventative eating is stocking up ahead of time–eating when you aren’t at a 0 or eating beyond 5 in preparation for the situation that may be ahead. It is eating so you won’t get hungry when you don’t think you will be around food.
There are some obvious problems with this. 🙂 Like there is nothing about it that respects the 0 and 5 boundary that God has asked us to respect!
We also have no idea if we will get hungry then or not. Not for certain!
This video explains a bit of what I am talking about. (If you are an email subscriber, please visit the blog if the video isn’t viewable.)
We often discover that if we are careful to give ourselves permission to eat to prevent hunger, it often leads to “I have broken my boundaries once already, so I may as well break them the rest of the day” sort of eating. Or “I have blown my boundaries” or what Barb Raveling calls “Failure Eating.”
As I shared in the video, there are a couple of ways of handling a situation like this.
Plan your hunger so that you are at a 0 with time before the event to have a meal that will be likely to sustain you for the period of time you won’t have access to food.
Carry a small bag of nuts with you to “shave the edge” off the 0 if you do land there during your class, appointment, or flight. A few cashews or almonds can go a long way and then you will have the pleasure of enjoying a meal at 0 after your class, appointment or flight.
Renew your mind about being hungry before you actually are and then allow yourself to pray your way through “0” to the “other side” and enjoy that while you are hungry, your body is likely using its very efficient stores to fuel you!
When you are tempted to stock up and eat before you head off to a situation where you may not have access to food for a few hours, consider using these questions:
Preventative Eating Questions
1. Why do you feel like you should eat now?
2. Would you break your boundaries if you chose to eat now?
3. Are you willing not to eat right now?
If yes, consider what God’s solution might be to this situation. What do you think HE wants you to do?
If no, consider doing the justification or entitlement questions. It sounds like this is more about having an excuse to eat than it is about a legitimate concern to eat.
3. Should this be an exception to your 0 to 5 eating boundaries?
Yes – Why?
If the answer is YES, then how will you know when you are justifying eating and when you have a legitimate reason to eat? What will be the standard?
Given what you know about yourself and your history, do you think you can trust yourself to be honest about breaking a boundary?
No, if not, then do you really need to consider this option any further? What options are available to you instead? Are you willing to do one of them?
4. Are you afraid of being hungry? Why?
Where does fear come from?
What would God want you to do to deal with this situation?
5. What options can you consider to avoid being hungry during the class, appointment, or seminar without breaking your 0 to 5 boundaries?
6. Is avoiding hunger during your appointment, flight or class a need or a desire?
If a need then what possible solutions are there that you can use while respecting your boundaries?
Are you willing to experience discomfort if doing so means honoring the boundaries that God has established for you?
Is alleviating your hunger or the possibility of being hungry worth the spiritual, emotional, and physical consequences that you will face if you break your boundary and eat to prevent hunger?
FEAR BIBLE STUDY
Much of my “preventative” eating has been rooted in fear. Maybe you can relate! We may be afraid of being uncomfortable …hungry… and not able to get to food. When we dismantle this fear and evaluate it, it really helps to diffuse the emotional volatility that is a part of it.
For me, I feared being hungry and without food because of abuse related to my childhood.
God wanted me to allow myself to get hungry…and to experience his presence in the midst of my fear and my physical hunger. He wanted me to see that there was nothing to fear. That my fear was rooted in lies that I believed.
Renewing my mind about this was vital to break free from “preventative eating” and so I have to review truths such as these when I am tempted to eat to prevent hunger ahead of time:
Being hungry is not so painful that I can’t manage it.
When I am hungry there is nothing terrible that will happen to me.
It is TRUE that I will have food sometime relatively soon.
The comfort that I need and that I sometimes turn to food to give me is only found in the Lord (and he sometimes uses people).
No alleviating of my potential discomfort is worth the violating of my boundaries.
Who knows? Maybe I won’t even BE hungry before the event is over with. I just don’t know!
Food will be available when the event is over. If I am at a 0 I will be free to get food.
If I am hungry for a while, I will be ok.
Look up the following bible verses and write down what you learn about the need for preventative eating:
Psalm 37:25
Psalm 81:10
Psalm 73:23-26
Isaiah 41:10, 13
Can you find any others? If so, share them with me so I can add them to this list.
What blessings are in store for you if you stand against the temptation for “preventative eating?”
Do you have any events this week, any appointments, errands to run, meetings to attend where you might be likely to engage in “preventative eating?” What strategy will you prayerfully employ so that you don’t break your boundaries?
When I create the audios and the videos, God speaks truth into MY life through the process. It reminds me of what is true and how great my God is. He uses my rambling on to you to remind me yet again of what is true and what He wants from me.
I hope that when I create the audios and the videos that you will have yet another modality for learning the stuff that God may want you to know. I hope that he uses it to breathe over you an enveloping peace, a saturating sense of his love, and a call to press on–to pursue holiness and excellence.
You may not agree with everything I say, but I do so hope that you will sense his invitation to intimacy with him and that he wants to use this struggle with food and eating as a forum in your life for a wonderful adventure of dependence on him.
This week, God has used my video and audio creating time to really minister to me. Does that sound just so selfish? As I speak the truth that he has given to me, then as I listen and evaluate, delete, re-record–whatever the process may be–he again and again bathes my mind with the truth. I hope it works that way for you as you listen or watch.
And if it is helpful to you to download the files and put them on your iPod to play, go right ahead and do that. I sure hope that doesn’t sound self-aggrandizing. I don’t mean it that way at all. I just know that, at least for me, every way possible that I can to create a way to bathe my mind with truth, is another step toward renewing my mind and experiencing the transformation promised in Romans 12:2.
This week, we looked at the premium we place on our appearance or weight loss in this journey. Barb has really gotten to the heart of a very important issue. I have an audio here talking about some thoughts I have about this aspect of our journeys. Just so you know, I am experimenting with a plug-in microphone, so I apologize for the fuzziness…the microphone was TOO close to my mouth for part of the recordings…I will improve on that in the future.
Entitlement is a poison that can taint our pursuit of godly character. It affects not only my eating, but my relationships as well. In this audio, I share some of the things that God laid on my heart about entitlement. I have found that this is a perfect example of how God uses this journey about food, eating and my body to show me character qualities he wants to build into my life generally and I invite you to consider that may be the very purpose he has us on this course.
How about you? What connection do you see between what God is doing in the realm of eating, weight, how you view food and your body and growing you into Christlike character on a broader scale? What is God showing you about this connection?
Below is a video that I made to help people understand what it means to renew the mind…what it is, how to go about doing it and why!
I hope it helps you.
Thanks again to Barb Raveling for her help in understanding how to practically apply the wisdom of Romans 12:2!
Summary:
Renewing the Mind is, simply, thinking God’s thoughts after him.
First, choose a renewing of the mind goal. Why? Because it is our thinking that causes us to act. If we want to act differently and see different fruit in our lives, we need to start where actions are birthed–in our thoughts! What do you want to think differently about? The scale? Your body? Food? Your marriage? Your job? Probably, for our study coming up, you will want to select something that has to do with food, eating or weight, but it is your choice. Maybe you are an emotional eater, so you need to think differently about processing emotions. Maybe you don’t feel like you trust God. You might want to renew your mind about God’s character. So first thing, you want to pick a renewing of your mind goal.
Secondly, select times of the day when you will proactively choose to think God’s thoughts about whatever it is. First thing in the morning is a good idea for most of us since it might set the tone for the entire day. If you struggle in your marriage, you might also want to plan a renewing of your mind session for just before you see your spouse. If it is about food, you might need a mini-renewing of your mind session before you eat each time you eat! Let’s dive in and do this for all we are worth. Give it just a few weeks of diligence and hard work and you will be amazed at how you are impacted! You can also renew your mind in the middle of giving in to behaviors that are counter to your godly goal or after you have given in. It is best to plan a time before that happens, of course! But even if you “blow it,” you can renew your mind about whatever it is after the fact and it will help!
Thirdly, select strategies for actually thinking God’s thoughts after him. In this video, I share some ideas for that, but it is by no means comprehensive. You can use Barb Raveling’s I Deserve a Donut app. You can read scripture or review memorized verses. The bible is clearly where God shows us his thoughts, so it is a safe place to land to find things to think about for renewing your mind. If you want to be more specific, you can do what I have done. On an index card, piece of paper, on a file in your laptop or your cell phone or iDevice :-), you can create a file or jot down a list of TRUTHS about whatever it is that you want to think differently about. Then, each of the times that you renew your mind, you would read those things…preferably out loud. Pray over them and ask God to work them deeply into the soil of your heart and mind.
Also, in the video I say one of the things I like about 0 to 5 eating is that it is easy. Then I talk about Barb’s app and mention that 0 to 5 eating is hard. What I mean by that, is when I am tempted to stray away from it, THEN it is hard. That is when I need to stop myself from whining about how “hard” it is. It is always going to be hard to obey. But the principles are easy, simple, and doable!
I hope this helps clarify what renewing the mind is! 🙂
