As I waited in my car at a traffic light, tears came. My heart ached for my friend who had shared sad news. I also toyed with vain imaginings. What if that happens to me?
My mood darkened. And a strong craving stirred deep within me like a gluttonous creature waking up after a winter’s sleep. Restaurants on each corner of the intersection beckoned me.
“A coffee frappuccino would lift your spirits.”
I shook my head. “Too many calories.”
“How about a hamburger or ice cream?”
“No, I’m trying to lose weight!”
I turned left and drove towards home, never realizing how many restaurants lined the main highway in our small town. My mouth watered as advertisements for tacos, barbecue pulled pork, and deli sandwiches vied for my taste buds.
“You should treat yourself to a personal pan pizza. Think of that warm mozzarella cheese…”
I clenched my teeth. “Stop obsessing over food. I’m going home where I can control what and how much I eat.”
True story!
If I hadn’t signed up for Thin Within last week, I probably would have eaten the frappuccino and the pizza. Why? Because in that instant, I would have gladly satisfied my deep, ravenous craving for a few minutes of delectable joy.
I realize now—hunger wasn’t the issue. As my friend, Heidi, says, “I wanted food to alter my mood.”
Funny, I never thought of myself as eating for comfort. Other folks might eat a quart of ice cream when they were depressed, but not me. So the Holy Spirit used my circumstances to show me the truth in Thin Within’s Lesson One.
I learned experientially that consuming a quart of ice cream is no less emotionally driven than grabbing the Almond Joy just because I FEEL depressed, lonely, or sad.
Sorrow is part of the human experience. Some days I feel like a hurt child. I want to crawl into Mother’s lap and rest. Rub my back. Kiss my bruise. Make me all better.
Only, I’m not a child and it’s important to deal with life’s pendulum of emotions by resting in the Lord rather than acquiring self-destructive habits like overeating to numb my pain.
Isn’t it just like Satan (who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy) to entice people to search for comfort in anything or anyone other than God, the Father who loves us.
God knows we need comfort. He tells us,“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you….” (Isaiah 66:13 NIV)
Jesus said, “I will not leave you comfortless….” (John 14:18)
God longs to comfort aching hearts. However, unlike a mom who might comfort her child with animal crackers, the Lord doesn’t lure our sweet tooth to produce a smile. He satisfies our deepest cravings with Himself.
Comfort means “to ease someone’s pain,” but it doesn’t ensure the Lord will remove the problem that pains us. Instead, God comforts us with His strength. For the word “comfort” is derived from “fortis” which means strong.
“His strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
Strength to endure pain and sorrow.
Strength to walk on feeble feet down the path that leads to abundant life.
Strength to abstain from creature comforts that might sabotage our efforts to eat healthy.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:25–26).
Eating is the main issue in my life that I have to be very heavily reliant on God with because of the struggle I have had with food. I have to rely on God for strength to overcome these issues. The key is surrender and to keep renewing my mind.
I have to be honest and say that when I “want” to and when I “choose” to be out of control with my eating, I back off from my relationship with God. YIKES! That is scary. That causes serious issues with complacency in my walk with God.
Food is the issue that I need His help the most with, but when I am not willing to change, I try to keep it hidden from God which is completely crazy! My track record shows that to be the case though. It reminds me of Adam and Eve covering their nakedness from God when they had eaten the forbidden fruit.
Genesis 3: 10 (NIV) He answered,
“I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
YEP that’s me to a tee…hiding from God when I choose to be out of boundaries with my food. (Out of boundaries for me is out of control, eating what I want when I want it and you can’t tell me NO or I might just throw a grown up temper tantrum! And of course binge eating…yuck..sad but true).
Have you seen this paragraph from Thin Within Rebuilding God’s Temple Workbook Series, page B-4?
“Our God is unchanging. He has always dealt with His people with mercy and grace. Even in the garden when Adam and Eve were given only one directive, which they broke, God Himself provided the first ‘sacrifice’ by slaying the animals for the skins which their clothing would be made.”
So basically this tells me that I need to STOP! Go to God! He is not mean!!! (Note: Making a God List will really help you see God the way He should be seen.)
I am ready for a LIFELONG CHANGE!
This is what I want:
INTIMACY WITH GOD & Peace with Food and my body (His temple), and to be at my natural God-given intended size;
To see God for who He is (absolutely awesome!) and to see myself how He sees me.
When I stay in 0 to 5, hunger to satisfaction, eating and spend/invest time in prayer and renewing my mind with the Word and various, reputable resources (i.e. Soundcloud, here at the blog, Thin Within materials, Barb Raveling’s “I Deserve a Donut” and “Taste for Truth”), I feel like a person who has been set free from prison or captivity.
I knew how to do this 0 to 5 thing. I knew exactly how to do it and had fantastic intentions for this past year, BUT I just couldn’t bring myself to follow through, to renew my mind or to stay between hunger and satisfaction. I even knew, based on my past experiences, that I had the key to remove the shackles, but I just could not/would not do it! Why? It reminds me of Romans 7:15 that states:
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
I really wanted change, but not badly enough to put any REAL, LASTING effort into it. I wasn’t ready to lay my lover of food down. Boy does that sound bad! It reminds me of Hosea.
When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him,
“Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her,
for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.”
Hosea 1:2
I was promiscuous with my idol of food and I didn’t really want to let it go even though I knew that I would feel better, look better, and ultimately have the peace and joy that comes from eating that way and drawing close to God. But look at this. God is my Redeemer!
The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.” So I bought her for fifteen shekels[a] of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley. Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.” Hosea 3:1-3
Thank God for being my Redeemer. I didn’t feel worth redeeming, but do you think Hosea’s wife was “worthy” of being redeemed or that she felt worthy? Maybe it is hard for us to understand, but God sees us so differently than we see ourselves.
Hosea 14: 4 says “I will heal their waywardness and love them freely,
for my anger has turned away from them.”
In the Thin Within Rebuilding God’s Temple Workbook Series, page B-5, it says:
“As we cease from running and respond to God’s outstretched arms, we experience the joy of His presence as we choose to say yes to His will for us. He brings the captive out of captivity and restores us to a “land” of hope and promise. We are transformed from within by the renewing of our mind according to the Word of God.”
DO YOU WANT THE MAJOR KEY TO LASTING CHANGE?
Here it is.
RENEW YOUR MIND!
It is so vital to renew your mind. Not only should 0 to 5 eating be our weight release/maintenance tool, but renewing of the mind should be our maintenance tool too.
Hosea 13:6 says “When I fed them, they were satisfied;
when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me.”
God is satisfying me with 0 to 5, but I don’t want to get prideful or cocky about that. I have before! I stopped renewing my mind before and the end result was not a good one. BUT THERE IS HOPE! God is doing a new thing. I have laid the shackles down. I feel so free! I have over 100 lbs to get rid of, but I am not focused on that. I long for intimacy with God and to be restored to a healthy relationship with food and my body.
SURRENDER – that was my 1st step. Will you surrender today? Trust me…it’s worth it!
What About You?
Do you ever struggle with being willing to change? Are you ready to make a lifelong commitment to not only 0 to 5 eating, but also to renewing your mind? If not, what is stopping you? Have you surrendered to God instead of using your own strength? Let’s start today walking out a life of surrender to God, committing to eating 0 to 5, and renewing your mind. We can do this!
Adriane lives in NC with her husband, Shawn, and 3 kids, Marissa (10), Allie (8) and Judah (2). Adriane is involved in children’s ministry and also loves to co-lead worship with her husband.
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