My Sister, Andrea, Breezy (notice his tongue), and me!
Another post about the scale? đ Yes. It seems to be something we need encouragement about!
In 2001, I had the joy of getting to be the collaborator with the Hallidays on the writing of the Thin Within book. Something that not many people know is that, in writing the book, I got to share stories from my own life throughout. (Don’t tell anyone!)
So the part about the Naturally Thin Eater at the top of page 136 was about my sister, Andrea. We changed the names of those whose testimonies we included, so I am “Teri.” đ
A Thin Within participant, Teri, tells of her sisterâs eating habits: âShe always eats small amounts, making a huge deal out of each bite, moving the food around in her mouth. I never could understand it before. Also, she is quite happy taking a single bite of someone elseâs chocolate mousse pie instead of ordering her own. She eats strange things at odd hours. She always leaves food on her plate. It seems like she never eats much of anything at a sitting, but you can tell she really enjoys whatever she eats. When I asked her about when she likes to eat, she looked at me like I had a third eyeball and stated, âWhen Iâm hungry.â Sheâs been living and using the Keys to Conscious Eating all her life. I wish she had clued me in.â Thin Within, p. 136
That section of the book was written 13 years ago. Andrea visited last week and I had the chance to learn a bit more about her eating habits. We went out to a wonderful dinner and she ate what seemed to me like an enormous quantity of food given my prior claims. đ I never noticed her do that before. I didn’t say anything of course. đ The next day, we were talking about a dinner out with her friends one night. They expressed incredulity that she could eat such a big meal and not be larger than she is. She pointed out that she doesn’t eat that way all the time. An “occasional” meal where she eats that much is followed by eating the modest portions she almost always does. It doesn’t lead to another meal large meal, and another and another. And it also doesn’t lead to condemnation. She has found a rhythm in her life that works well for her to be a healthy size.
I shared with Andrea that the most popular post *ever* on my blog was last week’s post: Your Body – What is Your Natural God-Given Size?  I told her that I think people are eager to be convinced that getting rid of the scale is a good idea and that life won’t fall apart if we do it. She shared with me that now, at age 62, she has never had a bathroom scale her entire adult life. Whenever she has had an occasion to see her weight (annual physical exams), she has been the same weight since she was sixteen years old. She gets on the scale and, PRESTO! there it is again…the same number that the scale has told her for 46 years! Without doing anything differently. (She sheepishly mentioned that, even with a regular Yoga session, she finds the weight has “redistributed,” but she is still the same number on the doctor’s scale.)
She eats when she is hungry. She typically doesn’t eat when she isn’t hungry–or, if she does, it is a bite (literally…one tiny taste) of this or that. Occasionally, she enjoys a large meal and then gets back to eating modest portions again after that. That’s it. No strangle-hold on her scale or on calorie counting or some other approach. She is free.
Note: She doesn’t know Jesus. I would love for her to know that freedom. Could you  pray for her real quick just now?
Have you experienced freedom from the bathroom scale and discovered that you are approaching or found your natural God-given size and maintained it? How did you deal with the doubts and questions of “Shouldn’t I be weighing?”
Why does one of my coaching clients (and friends) say:Â “I don’t plan to ever weigh myself again.” The answer may surprise you!
Counting Calories
I heard on the radio this morning that obese teenagers are more likely to use calorie information at fast food restaurants than non-obese teenagers  This fact was presented as if it were a good thing, as if counting calories is something that will help obese teenagers to slim down and get healthy. I think that some of the teenagers in this study are obese BECAUSE they are using external signals such as calorie counts offered by fast food restaurants to tell them how much they can/should/will eat, instead of relying on their God-given signals of hunger and satisfaction. The non-obese teens donât need the calorie counts. They might order the bacon double cheeseburger and eat one third of it, stopping when they are satisfied. Are calorie counts (masquerading as ânutritional informationâ) part of the problem or part of the solution? Iâm all for nutritionally dense food, but something tells me the teens arenât checking protein, fiber, and calcium counts. They are focusing on the calorie information. And, Iâll wager, itâs not only not helping them, itâs actively hurting them. Itâs getting in the way of their ability to listen to their internal signals.
Pounds
Similar to the perhaps inadvertent problems directly caused by calorie information, are the problems caused by the bathroom (or gym or doctorâs office) scale.
When I was a child and didnât know about calories and couldnât have guessed my own weight with any kind of accuracy at all, my eating was fine. But when I started counting things (calories and body weight), my God-given natural appetite regulation system was disrupted and it wasnât long before I had a bona fide eating disorder. I was trying to externally regulate something that is much better left to the natural, internal regulation system ordained by God. My weight and my appetite take care themselves and run smoothly if I honor and respect them and donât get in there and try to improve on Godâs handiwork.
I donât plan to ever weigh myself again. Why? Because I am finally convinced that weighing myself is part of the problem, not part of the solution, just like counting calories are, for me, part of the problem, not part of the solution. Iâve heard many times over the years that in order to fully recover from an eating disorder (or disordered eating, or whatever you want to call it), a person should entirely stop weighing herself and trust that God knows what our bodies should weigh, and trust that our doctors will tell us if we gain or lose precipitously. But other people telling me rarely results in me doing whatever is advised. I donât learn very well from other peopleâs experiences. Eventually I had my own personal experience of divine intervention that really got my attention.
One morning, I wanted to weigh myself at home. I had the wherewithal to pray and ask God if this was a good idea. I heard very clearly in my head âyou weigh X#s.â âShould I still weigh myself, though?â I wondered, âProbably not,â I thought.
âBut I want to.â My brain did this dance for a couple of minutes and then the âI wannaâ part of me won out and I weighed myself. Â [I weighed] X#s. Not a big surprise. Why had I been so willful? Who knows. Oh well. Iâm not perfect. Chalk it up to that. I went on with my day. I went to the gym mid-morning. Thereâs a scale at the gym. The âI wannaâ part of me thought, âI should weigh myself to see if they gym scale and my home scale register the same number.â And then, I heard the voice of wisdom, only this time, with a bit more power clearly say in my head, âIf you want to never binge again, you need to never weigh yourself again.â !!! âBut, but,â the âI wannaâ in me spluttered, and then, as a quick follow up, I heard a powerful, âIt may seem like a high price to pay, but it is THE price. â
Wow. Ok. SoâŠI wonât weigh myself. Youâve got my attention, God. It does seem like a high price. But really, is it? I donât think Jesus got up every morning to check his weight. Nor did any of his apostles. There are still people on earth who probably go their entire lives without even seeing a scale. Itâs not like Iâm being asked to do something actively unhealthy. There is, as it turns out now that Iâve thought about it, nothing helpful in me knowing my weight. It never stopped me from binge eating. It never made me feel closer to God. It sometimes made me proud and it sometimes made me feel like I could afford to binge, but both of those outcomes are ones that I am much better off without. I am so grateful for this experience because I feel like God tried to show me this in a multitude of ways over years, but I wouldnât listen. So finally, I had to hear his wise, loving, but scarily clear voice telling me exactly what to do. I canât complain any more that Iâm not sure whether or not I should weigh myself. Iâm quite clear that I shouldnât. And I donât plan to. Not ever. Thank you, God.
Hopeless Eating – Do you struggle with the thought that I will never conquer this challenge? Do you feel like  eating and weight will always be a struggle for me? Barb shares in her study that truth journaling about this is crucial! Reason with me for a moment: Who is it you serve? What does HE say about your struggle? What does he say about YOU? By way of review (or new information if you haven’t yet seen it), I urge you to download, print out and speak out loud each day Who I Am in Christ. <– Click that link and you will see a pdf document that is filled with wonderful truth about who you are in Christ! It is so very difficult to speak this truth over your own life and to remain hopeless. Christ blew the LID off the grave so that hope might be victorious forevermore! If you like, review the video where I speak about hopelessness. It is here. Also, Truth Journalingis an invaluable tool to fight the lies with truth when we struggle to experience hope. We CAN get to the other side of the feeling of hopelessness. Let’s fight our way through it. Besides, will eating make it any better? It never has before. In fact, eating feeds the very hopelessness we want to combat!
What are some truths that can feed and fuel hope when it wanes for you? Share here so we can all benefit from one another!
Good Food – or Yummy Food – Eating – Do you struggle with thinking if it is there and I want it, I must eat it?  This is the mentality that just says there isn’t any deep hidden meaning going on here right now in my desire. I just want the food and there it is so I will eat it. To not give in to yummy food eating we can be proactive. If we know we are going to be in a situation where we will have opportunities for eating food that tastes good when we aren’t hungry, we can plan for victory! Some of Barb’s questions are so helpful to me personally. In fact, I think I have started thinking sort of like her! LOL! (In a good way!) Will eating this right now break a boundary? Will I have to learn to say no to my temptation to break boundaries? If I don’t learn that, what do I know is likely to happen? Given my history, do I have the ability to eat whatever I want whenever I want in the quantities I want for the reasons I want without it coming at extreme cost? In light of the TRUTHFUL answers to these questions, what will I choose right now?
How about you? What are some questions you can ask yourself in the moment when the food is there and you, simply, just WANT it!?
Bad Scale Eating We just completed a “Ditch Your Scale” Challenge. Why not start your own challenge? Can you not get on the scale for a week? Do you feel like the scale has too much power over you? Do you feel like one person posted, “Sure, I will give up my scale as soon as someone pries my fingers off of it!” Many of us feel that way. We have an unhealthy relationship with that device that is meant to be a tool, but we can’t seem to drum up the willingness to grow through this. We continue to seek approval of the bathroom scale. Let’s pray that God will help us to stand on His Word and on His promises. Let’s do what one person here at the blog said and choose to stand on the promises of God found in Scripture that says he who began a good work will carry it on to completion. She said she would choose NOT to “check on his progress” by stepping on the scale for two weeks. Does weighing yourself cause you to celebrate by eating? Does it cause you to comfort yourself by eating? Then it might be a good thing to evaluate if you should have a friend or family member take the scale for a couple of weeks and pray you through this.
What does God call you to do relative to the bathroom scale? If you are able to use it as a tool and not allow it to define what you will do next, then you may have a wonderfully healthy relationship with it. If, however, you give it the power to make you feel like a success or a failure, consider doing something radical! đ What will it be?
What power will we give the bathroom scale? This is something we each get to decide in the stillness of our hearts with the Lord. I urge you to consider, if you haven’t already done so, renewing your mind about the power you give the scale and what it “says.”
We also touched on this a bit in Week 3 when we looked at “Appearance Eating.”
Here at the blog since 2006, I have experienced quite the journey about whether or not I would have a bathroom scale in my home. I went about 4 years without a scale and it was wonderful! Before that, I was chained to it, looking to it for its approval. You can do a search here at the blog or use this link to have a look at my journey with the bathroom scale, if you like. Whatever your feelings about the bathroom scale, I am sure I have been there, too!
I am at a point now where I am able to have a bathroom scale (my husband wanted one) in the house and it doesn’t own me like it did before, but I am convinced that I needed it out of my life in order for me to have this freedom now.
How do you feel about the bathroom scale? Is it a tool for your use? Or is it a Master that you struggle with giving too much power over you? What can you do to have a “healthy” relationship with the bathroom scale? How can we help and support you?
Something that God has worked with me on is related to some of the disappointments some have shared recently with not releasing more weight. This is still coming home to me, though, I must admit. I continue to be slow to learn.
In my case, when I don’t release weight, first I have to ask the Lord, honestly, if I am submitting to his will. This goes beyond this notion of 0-5 eating for me. I can *fake* 0-5 eating pretty well. You know what I mean? I can rationalize things…I have found that a subtle “dieting mentality” comes in and “helps” me with this…it will casually do an estimation of calories and whatever and say “See? I have ‘suffered’ and so I should release weight.”
But the reality God is trying to bring home to me is, the Lord wants me to love HIM more than I love food. No, it doesn’t mean He doesn’t find joy in my enjoying food, but delighting in food more than Him…well, that is a problem. He has laid on my heart that He has given me parameters within which eating food is to be enjoyed. It is like sexual intimacy…there are certain parameters. Within those parameters, it gives God joy for me to enjoy intimacy, which He created. I believe He delights in my enjoyment of food within godly parameters as well. Outside of the parameters of marriage, “sex” is indulging my fleshly lusts and is sin…Outside the parameters of my body calling for food, eating is indulging a fleshly lust and is sin. Or that is how He has broken it down for me. I need it made really simple! LOL!
It helps me to ask WHY am I eating right now? Am I eating because I am hungry and my body needs nourishment? Am I eating because I simply want to enjoy the taste (which is so fleeting!)? God has laid it on my heart to enjoy the taste of food (YES!), but only when my body needs nourishment. How perfect is that? đ I can oooh and aaah about the incredible flavor of cheese enchiladas all I want when I am hungry! YIPPEEE! I get hungry pretty routinely! There will be loads of opportunities in my life to enjoy enchiladas with a totally pure conscience, eating them because my body needs sustenance! Why do I want to mess with that?
When I don’t release weight, I have to honestly evaluate if I have been truly loving eating beyond the parameters God has for me. Am I living like my body is my own to do with as I please?
For me, it comes down to that.
Sometimes, when I am not releasing weight, this is as far as I need to go to have my answer as to why.
BUT…and this is a big BUT…sometimes this is where it gets pretty tough. (As if dealing with brutal honesty over my love of my sin isn’t hard enough…) If I really truly think that I have been living for the Lord and He seems to confirm this through His Spirit, if I have been heeding His voice pretty diligently, and I am *still* not releasing weight (and this has happened before), then He has shown me to ask Him what He would have me be in this moment. How does *He* desire that I responsd? This can be so eye-opening for me. Almost every single time, He has asked me “Heidi, am I enough? Am *I* your very great reward? Or do you love losing weight or being thin more than you love knowing I am pleased with the choices you have been making?”
The answers to these questions really do a lot to expose my motivations. I have found that the Lord sometimes wants to purify my motives and can do this by restricting the movement of the scale for a season…I lived a long time losing weight with praise of men being my motivation. I love verbal accolades. I know for a fact that now the Lord wants me to love Him more than that (He always has).
Additionally, during one of these little struggles with not seeing the scale go down, God laid on my heart that I had a bit of an attitude…if *I* did *my* part, I reasoned, He would do *His* part and see to it that weight would come off. After all, wasn’t that what this was about? In essence I had a truckload of subtle, but insidious, pride going on there. I got disappointed with *God* when I didn’t see the scale doing what it “should” be doing. I was holding up my end of the bargain…now what about Him holding up His? This led to my throwing in the towel often enough. I got frustrated with God. I told you I was the Queen of Pride!
I hate that I like seeing the numbers go down on the scale better than delighting the Lord with submitting my will to Him in each moment. This time around, my journey is about learning to love Him more–no matter what happens. I am daring myself to get rid of my scale, in fact. I don’t have the courage yet. I know if I seek to put pride to death and live for the Lord, the weight will leave my body! I am just soooooo slow to learn it. I still really really like seeing the numbers get lower…nuts!
Don’t know if any of these thoughts can be helpful for anyone else or not. As always, I have been too long winded!
