Tasting Freedom

I have been on my Thin Within journey for almost 3 years now.  As I talked about before, this journey has been more about the mental “weight” than the physical weight.  I can see now that a lot of what fueled my issues and packed on that “weight” was that I thought I had to be a certain size and have a “perfect” physique.  I wanted to look like the images I was seeing plastered all over social media, fitness magazines, and to look like those fitness gurus.  I thought I could not be pleased with my body as is if I didn’t fit a certain mold.  I felt that I could not settle or be satisfied until “skinny” was won.  But wow, I really had it all wrong.  I wanted to share some things with you about how the Lord has me tasting freedom and how He recently opened my eyes.

I talked before about not being on Facebook because it was something that would fuel the skinny idol worship.  For most of 2015, I was not on Facebook.  Due to some recent circumstances, I activated my Facebook account and tried to steer clear of the diet talk.  It’s not an easy thing for me to do.  So you can imagine my surprise when something on Facebook was a tool the Lord used to get my attention.  It came from an “Intuitive Eating” page I follow and I believe it was this image that caught my attention:

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It got my attention because I have struggled…really struggled with thinking that I needed to follow a diet like Paleo.  It was really bothering me…still…  And then I watched this video that debunks the message behind Paleo.  (If the Paleo diet is something you struggle with, it’s a great 20-minute video).

And the Lord used that video to set me free about what I had been believing.  Now, if you enjoy eating that way, totally go for it.  But for me, personally, it would be a diet.  It would have me right back to “touch not, taste not”.  And that would not bring me peace.  I have to follow God’s peace.  So (disclaimer), if you are reading this and God has given you discernment to eat or not to eat certain foods, follow HIS peace in that.  I’m just sharing that this was something that was tripping me up–it was a HUGE stumbling-block for me.

And then the Lord, through another Facebook page about ditching the diets and accepting our bodies, started showing me this clear message that I have allowed the world, the media, the fitness and diet industry tell me that I’m not enough being the size that I am.  The posts that are shared encouraged me so much and God’s truth poured into me and I saw so many lies just melt away.  Never would I had thought a Facebook page could do such a thing.  These are just some of the messages that spoke to me:

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All of a sudden it’s like I realize that being “healthy” and taking care of my body doesn’t haven’t to be obsessive.  And when I eat and exercise 0-5, I will be at the body size and weight God designed especially for me.  It’s like I finally realized that I can be content in that.  I no longer want my goal to be that “image”.  My goal is to eat and exercise 0-5 and to accept my body as is.  This is a HUGE revelation for me (just ask my accountability partner–and my husband).  I feel like I now have the courage to say, “This is my body!  God has blessed me with my body and I’m going to take care of it for Him!”

I feel like I’ve been given the courage to love and accept my body.  Praise God!

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I really liked this (above).  I printed it and taped it to my bathroom vanity.  (I made the little change to it)

I have spent so many years trying to achieve “the perfect body”.  The enemy was always right there whispering to me that I wasn’t enough–no matter how much weight I lost or how fit my body was.  And now I see that was all a bunch of lies, lies, LIES!  I was totally fine!  I can love and accept my body right where it’s at (even at almost 38 weeks pregnant, as I am writing this).  I’m so excited!!  I want to love my body and take care of it as God’s temple.  I am not a number on a scale.  And just because I don’t look like the Photoshopped images doesn’t mean I’m less of a child of God, or less beautiful, or not healthy, or even fit.  I am DONE comparing myself to this world.  I’m done trying to conform to the pattern of this world.  I can be healthy at the size God has designed my body to be.  He didn’t design me to be this obsessed, tracking, counting, measuring, self-absorbed, addicted person.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.  And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:1-2)

I don’t know where you are in your journey.  It took me 3 years to get to this place of tasting freedom.  But don’t let that length of time discourage you.  That may seem like a long time, but every moment matters, every day matters.  It took many hours and journals of renewing my mind and prayer to honestly be able to say that I can love and accept my body–but here I am!  All praise, honor, and glory goes to the Lord!  So keep pressing in!  Eating and exercising 0-5 works!  God’s design for you is perfect!  You are beautiful!  And you are wonderfully made!

 

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7 Responses to Tasting Freedom

  1. Danielle Schilling February 17, 2016 at 8:29 am #

    Christina, I love all of your blogs. I feel like you are talking directly to me. Thank you SO much for taking the time and energy to write these and share your walk. Our walks feel and sound extremely similar and that’s why it’s so encouraging to relate to someone “who gets it.” Thank you again! Blessings!

    • Christina Smith February 17, 2016 at 12:48 pm #

      Thank you, Danielle! I’m so glad you are relating to my journey. I know it’s more of a unique journey. We are in this together, in Christ. He wants to set us free–and He is. Let’s continue to press forward in Him! I’m praying for you Danielle!

  2. Melissa February 19, 2016 at 12:28 am #

    Christina I have so loved everything you have shared with us! I just have to comment because this changed me right now. I am “getting it” through what you shared here! thank you so much!!

    • Christina Smith February 20, 2016 at 6:09 pm #

      Melissa, praise God that He is helping you “get it” through this writing. You are so sweet to leave a comment. Thank you! I know how much other people’s testimonies have encouraged me, so I am encouraged to share my story to encourage others. God is true to His word and He watches over it to perform it; our part is to believe and trust Him and take Him at His Word. Continue pressing into Him, Melissa!

  3. Nisha February 20, 2016 at 2:24 pm #

    Thank you for sharing your journey, Chrstina. This was so encouraging. I really enjoy reading your blog posts!

    • Christina Smith February 20, 2016 at 6:10 pm #

      Nisha, thank you! I’m so glad you are enjoying my posts. I like sharing my journey with others because I know it can be a light in a dark place someone else might be in. The Lord wants us to comfort one another in the areas He’s comforted us. It’s really on my heart to share what He has done. He is our hope!

  4. kate ATKINSON November 11, 2016 at 2:40 pm #

    Hi Christina, Wow what a liberating read. I have probably started 3 different diets this week. I have been up the front of church for prayer for this soooo many times. When I was swimming yesterday morning I did thank God for my amazing body that can keep up the pace but Never have I thought of my body from the perspective God has given you. AMAZING!! I have struggled with my weight since I was 11 years old, I kid you not!! I am now closer to 60 than 50. And as I type this I just had the impression that the Lord said He will restore the years the locust have eaten. I think the journey to healing is starting today, thanks to the insight the Lord has given you. Thank you for sharing.

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