Written by Kim Finley
Since 2004 I have been on this Thin Within journey. In my adult life after the first pregnancy (first time I ever really struggled with weight) I had lost weight and maintained, not by following any diet because believe me, there was no diet I could follow, and trust me…I tried! I lost weight by lots of little tiny health rules that I had, I would read fitness magazine or shape magazine and read the little snippets of health things they shared and if I felt it was doable, then I would try it. I also had a workout regimen that I did, I would walk 30 minutes at least 3-4 days a week and I would go to the gym and either do a full body weight work out twice a week or I would do 4 days, two of them upper body and two of them lower body. That was what I did after having my first child, for a few years.
Let me say though that during this time, I weighed myself daily. I obsessed over this idea of losing weight and getting thin, and it was just about all I ever thought about. It was always running through my mind no matter where I was or what I was doing. I even would measure myself with measuring tapes and then once, and this seems crazy, but I wanted to know how thin I looked to others so I outlined myself on the wall in my bathroom with a pencil so that I could see how thin I really looked.
Still even then I had about 10 pounds that I could not get off. Long story short, God came into my life in 2003. He helped me start changing in many ways in my life, one of them being my weight and body image. It was only a God thing that I ran across a book where I was working at the time, that is something I didn’t stick with because of false teachings behind it, but that is where it started, beginning of 2004. (Not long after I also found and bought the Thin Within book for the first time too.) I read the book in 2 days, started implementing eating when I was hungry and stopping when I was full and I lost those last 10 pounds, I was not eating the most filling foods, a lot of fast food and my homemade red velvet cake, but I only ate it when I was hungry and stopped as soon as I was full. That was it. I was feeling great, hubby loving it, I was not obsessed with food or size as much and I had more time to talk about God too. It was not long after this, perhaps 2-3 months, and we got pregnant with our second little one.
Hunger and fullness slipped away and after that pregnancy, which I didn’t gain too much weight then, but it was after that pregnancy that legalism really started in my life in many ways. For the next few years I would put on 30-40 pounds. Then got pregnant with our third, our little girl, and I was already at my highest weight ever without being pregnant, so that pregnancy I felt pretty icky and after I had her the Lord led me back to these principles with Thin Within. I started implementing them, lost all of my weight again, felt great…then one compromise after another, the last 3 years I have slowly gained 50-60 pounds. I am now REALLY at my highest weight ever not being pregnant.
This (having already done this twice before) is what has caused me defeat in this next go around to obey God in this area of my
life, but this time, instead of just implementing the hunger and fullness eating, He is calling me to dig deeper and find out the why’s behind it all so that it will be permanent. Digging deep these last few months, starting with the Taste for Truth study led by Christina Smith through Barb Raveling’s book, has taken me to new levels. I am seeing idols of not just greed for eating more than my body needs, but the idol of control and comfort. Things that I feel if I don’t have I will NOT be OK.
Renewing my mind and surrendering completely is the key for me. He is so in love with me but because of my control issues of just wanting to have order in all areas of life, I am the one I have been depending on all of these years. Me. What a burden!!! I am not in control though and this is something I am learning this go around.
So while right now I do not have before and after pictures to share this time yet, [though I will share a picture of my face after our daughter was born (our last and final baby) and what I look like now so you can see this does work] I am definitely on my way now to having the permanent weight release, but not just that, a completely renewed mind to the Truth of God’s Word in place of my fears, my anxieties, my need for control and my need for comfort. Jesus is all of those things and I truly believe what His Word says:
Romans 12:1-2 (NLT) “And so, dear brothers and sisters,[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.[b] 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Key things that have stuck out to me that I am learning:
• There is no arriving. All I need to do each day is rest in Him and walk by His Spirit moment by moment. That’s it. He will guide me. That is growing our relationship! Falling in love with Him and watching Him and all his blessings and special touches through each day I would miss if I wasn’t paying attention to Him.
• A firm NO is the best thing I need to do when food or eating crosses my mind and I’m not hungry. If I entertain the thought, I usually will follow through with it. A firm NO and go do something else, renew my mind with His Truth, read my Truth cards, play with kids, time with husband, a task at hand, anything.
• God truly does fill us up. He also fills us up SO much better than food. Food is such a cheap substitute for what God can give us when we walk in His ways and let Him. He truly is amazing and wants us to be so completely satisfied and not in want at all.
• The best thing to say if tempted to eat when someone is offering you food, is simply…no thank you, I’m not hungry.
• Renewing my mind consistently each morning before I do anything else has helped me get my focus on God to start the day.
What about you? Do you feel you have fallen off the bandwagon and it’s too late for you? I’ve been there and done that and guess what? IT’S A LIE, DON’T BELIEVE IT! You can do it again, right now. Fall in love with Jesus one day at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time. He is always with you, surrender to Him and trust Him.
Kim lives in sunny Florida with husband and 3 children, works at home, loves vacations and the beach (which is a short drive away) and just quality fun times with family and friends with laughter and love. She also enjoys cooking and trying new recipes, Bible studies with friends, journaling, writing sometimes and reading lots.