Chapter 4 – A Path of My Choosing Part 1

Hi. If you have just joined us, we are studying Thin Within, by Arthur and Judy Halliday. This week’s assignment is to prayerfully study, read, complete chapters 3, 4, and 5. Chapter 5 is a BIGGEE…a potentially pivotal point. So we may linger there for a few days. I hope those of you joining in now will not feel burdened to “catch up!” It is more important to take as long as you need soaking in the material and allowing the Lord to bring it home to your heart in His special way. It took me the better part of 5 YEARS to honestly get through chapter 5 the last time through. LOL!

As we read, there are two on-going assignments we have:

1.) Keep a list (add to it all the time!) of God’s attributes and the way he relates to you, His child as asserted by the authors and/or through His Word or other sources. (Extra Credit: Use this list to pray by praising God for the specific attributes and traits you discover about Him.)

2.) Keep focusing on the LORD.

These two “assignments” dovetail. The key is, you do NOT want to make this be about SELF! That is what diets do…put all the focus and attention on SELF and how “bad” or “good” we do or *are*…typically with the scale being our judge. We know how these end…badly, with self-condemnation.

Even if you have gone through the TW material before, I challenge you…let the Lord ALONE be your focus!!!! It makes the difference we need. He is our strength. He is our deliverance, he is our hope. He is our…well…our everything!

Another thing I have challenged you with is to throw out your bathroom scale and dare to believe God that he can work in you this summer without the crutch of a man-made bathroom scale. So often we go to the scale to get approval! He has created your body to be reliable, so you can depend on the hunger scale as described in the Thin Within book–a way of describing the God-given cues of physical hunger and satisfaction. If you eat between 0 and 5, you will land at your God-given weight. I believe it! I know it! Who cares what number that is on a man-made bathroom scale!

Whew! As you can see, we are really doing a lot already! If we could hold steady just with these things for now without any additional reading we would really be experiencing some major life transformations!

Add the reading to it and VOOMBA! What a prescription for life change and metamorphosis, inside and out!

I guess, truthfully, this is what chapter four is about anyhow. Will you choose the Path of My Performance, filled with self condemnation, resentment, performance or the Path of God’s Provision, with His joy, His peace, His will, His way, His liberty? The book explains this in an awesome way (if I DO say so! LOL!).

Most important of all, however, is the in-depth description of one of the most crucial concepts in the Thin Within book–Observation and Correction. Please oh PLEASE be sure to read pages 36-38 (and the rest of the chapter) really carefully.

In summary, observation and correction can be described like this:

Observation is choosing to dispassionately evaluate my behavior. For instance, I was emotional upon receiving some difficult news. I went to the fridge and without considering my hunger numbers, proceeded to eat a hot fudge sundae. Obviously, this behavior is not congruent with my goal of eating 0 to 5 and surrendering all of my eating to the Lord, allowing his Spirit to guide me so that I might glorify him with my eating and drinking.

Upon reflection of my behavior, I can:
1.) beat myself up (this is NOT what we want to do!) – “I KNEW I would never be free! I say I want to be free and look at what I do first thing…how can I keep visiting the blog site and interacting with others there!? I am such a hypocrite! What must my husband think, since he SAW me inhale all that ice cream!”

2.) go into denial “That really wasn’t so bad…I *was* really wounded, after all…”

or

3.) dispassionately recognize that this behavior doesn’t agree with my godly goals. “Lord, I could have run to you with my emotions. Instead I ate my way through the ice cream and hot fudge.”

Notice with the third option, there is no condemnation. This demonstrates an accurate handling of the word of truth (see Romans 8:1).

So, as described in chapter 4 of Thin Within, I recognize this behavior as being outside of God’s will for me and not in agreement with my godly goals and I do so without a truckload of emotion. What next?

Simply…I make a plan for change–called “correction.”

For example: “I will establish a boundary. The kitchen is off limits when I have received news on the phone, in the mail, or via email. Before I go to the pantry or the fridge, I will take time to pray, acknowledging the difficulty of the news I have received. I will intentionally WAIT and choose NOT to eat, looking to the Lord first to satisfy my wounded heart. Then, if HE leads me to eat out of true physical hunger, I will choose something that feeds my body in a positive way, as a spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1,2).”

Other examples…
Observation: I overate in the car driving home from work.
Correction: I will not eat in the car, but will stop and eat, focusing on giving glory and thanks to God for my food.

Observation: I eat too much when I go to Chinese Buffet.
Correction: For a short season I will not go to the buffet. In a few weeks, after I have developed a greater sense of commitment in the face of temptation, I will try again.

or…

When I go to the buffet, I will take my own tiny plate and have a boundary of eating only one plate full of food…no food overlapping the edges, no food touching another food. (I know a TW participant who did this…she asked the managers ahead of time and they even gave her a discount since she wasn’t going to eat very much!)

Observation is agreeing with God…or confession.

Correction is planning for change, turning a new direction…or repentance.

It is GRACE filled…it isn’t a tool of condemnation at all.

I will say it again…

We can not hate/condemn ourselves into positive change!

With Observation and Correction, with The Path of God’s Provision, the focus is on the Lord and what HE wants…what he wants is to be our sufficiency. He doesn’t condemn you for looking to food in a moment instead of to Him. He asks you to declare the truth, yes “I blew it!”…and then, with grace, he says, “Go and leave the sin behind…” Jesus came with grace and truth both…not just truth…not just grace. (See John 1.)

He loves you, approves of you, welcomes you…he does NOT condemn you! So why condemn yourself! That isn’t Christ-like. No matter what your goal is from day 3, being more like Jesus should trump all the others. Condemnation has no place in a heart that wants to be like Jesus! God sent his son into the world NOT to condemn the world, but to save the world THROUGH Him! (John 3:17 I think it is…)

So, which path are you on? What can you do to switch to the Path of God’s Provision?

Can you look back over your day and make 3 observations and 3 godly corrections? I know you can!

Get used to using this tool, applying it with grace, inviting God to help you with your thinking, and you will experience a freedom from condemnation AND freedom from behaviors that derail your godly goals!

Chapter 3 – Going For Godly Goals – Part 1

As I approached chapter 3 in Thin Within, I continued my running list of God’s attributes and the way he relates to me, His child. Praising Him for these truths sooo lifts my spirit and starts my day with my focus where it belongs…on Him! I only read, studied and prayed my way through the bottom of page 31.

Before I go ANY further, I want want WANT you to know how I feel about the “goal setting” activity. THIS IS IMPORTANT! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thus, the additional video:

Giving Glory to God is the foundational purpose for your life. (Thin Within, page 28)

Note what is NOT the foundational purpose–that of being THIN! Or of weighing 135 lbs … Or a million other things that we might tend to chase after!

If we allow God to form and shape our character, we will become more like Jesus… (Thin Within, page 28)

Truly, this should be our #1 goal and the goal through which everything else is sifted! If goals that we set and our response to our behavior about these goals keep us from becoming more like the Lord, then we have to do some serious adjustment either of our goals, how we are thinking about them, or all of the above.

Therefore, I URGE you, I BEG you…do NOT make your physical goal a number on the scale! My goal is worded this way on page 31…as I shared in the video:

“After praying about it and inviting Him to indicate His will to me, my goal for [the end of the summer] is to be able to have more wiggle room in my Levis jeans (which are currently tight). I want to be able to move in them, work in them, ride horses in them without being goosed or rubbed raw.”

This is my physical goal regarding my size. It is NOT a weight. It is not even a “size”…it is “this pair of jeans will fit this way…” more than that.

If you feel like God wants to really shrink you down in size a lot by the end of the summer, then I encourage you to word your goal differently, too. “…my goal is to be…able to sit in the airplane seat in September without a seat belt extender…” or “…to be able to shop for clothes in Nordstrom’s instead of ‘Big and Beautiful’ stores” or… “to be able to sit in the chairs at the dentist office in August, without feeling the sides pressing in on my hips uncomfortably…”

See what I mean? ๐Ÿ™‚ PLEASE ask God if he would have you do the same. Tell us about it here, ok? ๐Ÿ™‚

PLEASE DO NOT USE THE BATHROOM SCALE AT ALL!!! I know this is radical, but you know how I have been singing the song “Focus on the Lord Focus on the Lord?” The scale is THE BEST WAY TO STOP FOCUSING on the LORD and to focus on yourself and your supposed performance! PLEASE DON’T GO THERE! You and I both have done that before and has it served us well? NO!

For the summer, will you PLEASE do something radical? Ask a best friend to keep your bathroom scale in the garage at her house and not to give it back to you until September? Or, better, throw it away?

PLEASE!

Judy Halliday likes to say that if we put as much effort into hearkening our God-given signals on the God-given HUNGER SCALE as we do on the man-made bathroom scale, we would release any excess weight and have lives of peace and joy! The scale is a tool of condemnation and can you condemn yourself into positive change? NO WAY!

Oh, my…I really am making a BIG deal about this. I mean it!!!!! In fact, I meet with my accountability partner in just about a half an hour…I am going to walk my talk and do that very thing…ask her to take my scale and lock it in her trunk!!! I don’t want it back!

Who is WITH ME!!!

My Point of Departure…

I have spent some time with the Lord looking at the questions I have posed here at the blog for anyone who wants to participate. Gosh, these are hard questions! ๐Ÿ™‚

I asked the Lord to show me my heart… “What is it I want, Lord?” I know that he knows my heart better than I do. I waited for him to open my eyes to see what is there. “FREEDOM” is the word that first jumped to the surface…but that almost seems self-generated. True, yes, but I am not sure it is at the heart of what I want…or of what he wants for me as I go through this book…again. I want to release my grip on ANY stronghold–sweet foods, sweet drinks, horse time to be sane, internet time–ANYthing that controls me in ANY way at all…except, of course, for HIM.

I guess I hope to be even MORE “incidental” about food or drink. I want NOT to be owned by my taste buds or an “I deserve this” mentality…EVER. I want true humility…not pride that says, “I deserve this.”

In fact, I think what I really want is to be GOD focused. When I look at any of the things in my life that cause me pain or struggle–sin or strongholds–the root is I believe a lie that serving self is more rewarding than focusing on and serving God. I want to leave that mentality behind. If I could allow the Lord to flood my vision, I would stop grasping for recognition, “respect,” honor, food that isn’t needed, sweet beverages, etc…I would take a posture of humility before the Lord.

A big work that God is currently doing is bringing me to a point of being ok in my own skin, no matter what size the body it covers. ๐Ÿ™‚ That is not to say that I will allow my appetites and fleshly lusts to direct me into the sin of overeating. No..not at all. But it means that–without a bathroom scale to “tell” me whether I am acceptable or not–I am ok about the size that I am…To quote Yoda again (we don’t even watch Star Wars!) “Size matters not.” It really doesn’t matter. What matters is WHY I am the size I am. Am I the size I am because my heart belongs to God? Or am I the size I am because I lust for food and indulge those lusts? It is funny…when I ask these questions the size part seems so…almost silly. This isn’t about me at all. It is about the fact that he bought me at such a high price. The precious blood of Jesus Christ. I am his…*am* I? Do I LIVE like I am?

Relative to my physical body, I do want to develop a godly approach to fitness because this body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I hope to learn what 0 to 5 exercising is. I have been sedentary before. I have been an obsessive exerciser before. Neither honors God. So I want to move my body with joy and without fixating on me. Somehow, moving my body is another expression of the fact that I belong to him. I want to do the best I can to honor God with my physical body without sacrificing my heart. This will be a challenge for me, but I sense God calling me to it. This will be a new thing.

So, what am I willing to do, say, give, be in order to experience these things?

This is one of those things that my horse is teaching me. As I ask the Lord what the answer to this question is, he says lovingly, simply, “Release it all to me…” or “Trust me.”

A few years ago, I was not doing well with two of my horses. It seemed like every time I got on one of them I was having an accident of some kind. (I know now that I could have avoided this if I had gotten them to a better place where they felt good inside about things…but i didn’t know that at the time.) After Harley went to training with a great trainer who worked with me as well, it was time for me to ride him. He was sided up next to the side of the round pen fence rail. I climbed up on the fence rail…took some deep breaths. My trainer held on to Harley’s halter. It was my job to sit myself on him…totally. I settled my bum in the saddle carefully, nestled my feet “just so” in the stirrups…and tried to remember to breathe some more. My trainer looked at me with a big grin and asked me if I was going to let go of the fence rail. I didn’t even realize that I had a death grip on it. Something inside of me couldn’t trust myself completely to Harley’s care…I was afraid of what would happen.

While God is so much more reliable than a horse who has fear issues with a rider with fear issues, I do feel in some ways like he isn’t “predictable.” In some ways, trusting the Lord ends up being like trusting Harley…thus, God uses my horses to teach me so much. He is so much more reliable, loving and trustworthy…Right now, I know there is a lot I have to trust to the Lord. This leg of my journey will be “notching things up” a bit. I need to “let go of the fence rail” and trust all that I am to the Lord to carry me…wherever he sees fit in the manner he sees fit. Yikes!

I guess these sort of describe my “point of departure” and what I hope for along this journey as well.

See you all tomorrow. It begins!

Study of the Thin Within Book

On June 1st, I plan to start a study of the Thin Within book (2003 or later edition). I have gone through it a bunch…so it is sometimes hard to imagine that God may yet have something “new” there for me. I know that it is arrogance that says I “know” it all. LOL!

Here is an invitation…a video invitation for you… ๐Ÿ˜€ Scary thought, but I may do this throughout our study of the book.

So, I ask any/all of you…if you would like to go through the Thin Within book with me here at the blog, feel free to grab a copy by June 1st. Even if you get your own copy a bit later than the 1st, I won’t go through it in 30 days–it will probably take me all summer. You can call Thin Within directly at 877-729-8932 and they will send it right out to you. I think it is $12. You may be able to get it cheaper on Amazon, but the shipping is likely to take longer.

So, that said, if any of you would like, feel free to join me. You can use the “comments” section of the blog to post your thoughts and ideas, questions, comments, praises, concerns, prayer requests and prayers.

And if you come to this blog entry months after it has been posted, you can still participate. When someone makes a comment to the blog–even an entry I posted months before–I get sent a notification about it. I will gladly respond. Don’t feel left out!

God has something new He IS DOING in YOU (and in me!)–even now!

To those of you reading and following in real time, will you do me a favor and pray that God will make the new thing he is doing in each of us obvious? That we may have eyes to perceive it? He says it springs up! I am eager for the adventure he has ahead.

Join me! ๐Ÿ™‚

If you plan to do so, feel free to comment here. I would LOVE to know who will be participating! I may add little “video” thoughts as we go…just for fun. ๐Ÿ™‚

Here is my (personal) biggest challenge on a superficial (yet deep at the same time…) level…to make my way through this material WITHOUT using a bathroom scale at all! I believe the Lord would have that for me! I also want to have an open heart. Since God involved me in the writing of the Thin Within book (what an amazing display of his grace AND his sense of humor), it can be really easy for me to be “jaded” if I am not wary. So if you will pray for me about this…I would welcome it. I know that I have NOT “arrived.” Until my feet are lifted from the dust of this earth and planted on Heavenly streets of gold, I know that I will continue to be formed, shaped, refined and CONVICTED, changed, corrected, rebuked by our gentle Shepherd. I welcome that now. I need that.

Anyhow, I will pray for you. Please pray for me and plan to get your own copy of the Thin Within book (2003 or later edition) by Arthur and Judy Halliday so you can write in it as you go.

WHOO HOO!

I almost missed it…God IS doing a NEW thing!

I know the blog name is “God is Doing a New Thing.” I think, though, that I take for granted that I have used up all my “new thing” tokens and he is doing the same old thing or a new new thing in someone else this week… ๐Ÿ™‚

I had a huge revelation this morning, though.

Let me back up. My accountability partner and dear friend leads a Thin Within group at a church that meets near Sacramento. She has had me speak to her group a couple of times and I have absolutely LOVED being with those ladies. I love sharing time with them and having the privilege of telling them about a few things I have learned being on this journey so long. It has been a delight to my heart.

Last night on the phone, Kim asked me again, “We want you to come again and speak with the group.” I hemmed and hawed and put her off…explaining that I need to find out if this is a season for me to be quiet while God works on me. I figured it would be pride that would keep me yacking in front of others when my size is up from my “final” weight. While I haven’t continued to gain weight–I am holding steady at this size–I feel like…well, a *failure*… and I mentioned to Kim that I don’t want to be a hypocrite. (Yup…I used that word!) We left it at I would let her know when I felt like I could do it. Hmm…

Truthfully, as I thought and prayed about it this morning, my response baffled me a bit. I am working on shaking the approval addiction, fear of failure, and the performance trap…yet what did my response indicate? That I was still caught up in it…very much so.

This morning as I sat praying about how I felt at her invitation I had a “BFO” or “Blinding Flash of the Obvious” strike me…DUH!

This is what I wrote in my prayer journal:

Lord, Kim has asked me to come speak to her group again. Please help me to shake shame as I think that is precisely what I feel. My feeling is how could I possibly speak to these ladies about how to do this thing when I clearly look different than I used to? I mean, what if they notice the 10 pounds? Please help me to know if you want me to go to her class. If you want me to share, then of course I want to! But, Lord, I also don’t want this to feed my Approval Addiction. I don’t want to allow a constant need for approval of others and fear of failure to determine my actions either way. I do feel like a failure…my performance stinks…

…continuing in my prayer journal…this is the part where the light bulb goes on…

…It’s weird because apart from my physical size changing, I sure don’t feel like a failure! I feel like I am doing what YOU want!

Wow…I just realized, Lord…if I could strip away what the scale says or the way my favorite Levis fit…if I could forget about outward appearance for just a moment–I would see something else entirely! I would see that:

  • I delight to grow and change
  • I have made and am making hard decisions–for instance to speak out about something in obedience to you, even risking losing approval of others when doing so
  • I have been practically processing things and obeying you–not always perfectly, but definitely in difficult choices!
  • I have given up an extreme dependence on diet soda that held me in captivity for 30 years!!!!
  • I like the changes I am making in response to your leadership, Lord!
  • I am not allowing my need for success with my horses to drive my decisions or determine how I feel about myself any longer. Maybe it isn’t a need any more!
  • I am doing what YOU say and letting go of the rest.
  • I am making hard choices, listening to your voice.
  • I am risking reaching out to love others
  • I am being authentic…

Do I have this worked out perfectly? No…but wow! That is a great list! I think I like myself for the first time in a long time!!! Thank you, Lord, for all you are doing in me! THIS IS A NEW THING FOR SURE!

…So…WHY let my physical size get in the way of delighting in all you are doing in me? I still fight the fight against the lusts of the flesh. I still try to say no to the cookies when I am not at a 0…and sometimes succeed in saying no!

What a breakthrough for me to see this–that I am experiencing “success” at what really matters. I know that if this IS my set size…the size YOU want me to be…I am OK with it. It is ok. How I look compared to how I used to look isn’t the most important thing…it is what you have done and are doing in my heart that matters. I am no longer enslaved by the lust of my flesh that kept me drinking copious quantities of addicting and damaging chemicals… PRAISE YOU, LORD! And thank you for the safety of an incredible accountability partner who esteems me, but speaks TRUTH to me. THANK YOU.

===

So, as you can see, this is a huge breakthrough. I am not sure, yet, what it will mean about when I will share with Kim’s class, but I see now that Satan was trying to convince me that it was pride that would cause me to want to share. The truth is, it would be SHAME keeping me from it…

Another lie from the pit of hell has been rendered IMPOTENT by the power and truth of Christ! Praising his name!

–> How about you? Is there any way that you are wearing ungodly shame and calling it something else? Are there things God has been doing in your life as you travel this road that you are overlooking because you are fixating on your physical appearance? Yes, we want to be healthy physically, but what is eternal is something much deeper. God works both, but sometimes it may be the long way around…he is after the heart *now* and the physical body will follow.

–> Can you relate at all to my struggle? Have your favorite pair of jeans become an idol and you will do anything to be able to wear them? Has a number on a man-made bathroom scale become your measurement for “success?” Is what size you are or what you weigh more important than releasing obsession, addictions, and unhealthy practices? It sure has been for me…I am so thankful for God’s grace that has exposed the lies…and that continues to to so. So many blind spots, even still! It amazes me!

The weapons we fight with
are not the weapons of the world.
On the contrary,
they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
We demolish arguments
and every pretension that sets itself up against
the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought
to make it obedient to Christ.

-2 Corinthians 10:4-5

But thanks be to God,
who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ…

2 Corinthians 2:14a

Let’s CELEBRATE the new thing HE IS DOING! ๐Ÿ™‚