by Heidi Bylsma | Mar 7, 2013 | Blog
When I woke up one day and found myself at a size 24 again (I had lost 100 pounds with a popular weight loss program previously and gained most of it back in a very short period of time) I realized that I didn’t get that way magically. It was action upon action that had gotten me to that place. Actions come about as a result of thinking.
So, it made sense that the key to why I gained weight again so readily is I had never learned to think differently. It was my thinking that caused me to act in such a way that all that extra weight landed on me. By the time I lost the weight in 1997 with Weight Watchers, I was even more obsessed with food and exercise than when I started. I know this may not be the case for everyone, but it was for me. While the outside of my body was changed physically,my heart and mind had been changed too…not for the better either. My mind was riveted to food as never before. I thought about it constantly. When an overuse injury kept me from being able to exercise excessively as I had been, my thoughts and actions about food and eating were betrayed. The weight poured back on.
It was time for me to realize that, if I wanted to see an outward change–to be a healthy size once and for all–I needed to not only act differently, but also to think differently.
In all honesty, this process continues to this day. It is a constant training!
James 1:14, 15 speaks of a progression. We have a thought. We mull it over. We ponder it and allow the thought to grow. Finally, it incites us into action.
Before it ever gets to that place, Paul in 2 Corinthians urges us to take the thought captive and submit it to obedience to Christ.
It stands to reason, if we want to act differently (knowing that health is found there), we have to learn to think differently. We have to train our minds.
This takes work. But anything worthwhile is worth working, fighting for!
And notice this…all along the way, we have a choice about what we will think. We can think the thoughts that lead to actions that don’t correspond with our godly goals and with truth. Or, we can choose to think thoughts that align with my desire to honor God with my eating and drinking and with my living.
Here are some things that we may need to think differently about–that we may need to renew our minds about.
ABOUT THE BATHROOM SCALE
Thoughts you may have now:
- I need the scale to land on this number ______.
- I need to see the numbers go down.
- The scale will tell me if I have been doing this “right” or not.
- The scale tells me if I am a failure or not, if I have value or not.
- I need to get on the scale each day (or multiple times each day).
And other thoughts like these. The thoughts you actually have may be more subtle, of course.
Do these thoughts pass the Philippians 4:8 test? Are they true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy? The answer goes without saying.
What is really true?
- The bathroom scale is a piece of metal and springs with an arbitrary number system on it–that is ALL.
- I can survive even if I don’t get on the bathroom scale. I can use other tools to evaluate my progress in losing weight–such as how my clothes fit or what I see in the mirror.
- God is after my heart and the scale can’t measure that! I can go to the Lord and ask Him if I am doing this as He would have me. HE is the only one I will go to for approval–not a machine made by man.
- God redeems all my past mistakes. He has declared me precious and holy in His sight. He has declared me HIS. He declares forever that I reflect HIS success through Jesus on the cross. He determines my value and worth. Not the scale.
- I do not need to get on the scale each day. In fact, I will survive if I never get on the scale again. (Yes, you really will.) The scale is designed to be a tool to help me. If it is not helping me, I can get rid of it until the time comes when I can think about it differently.
If you are feeling down about what the scale is telling you, my suggestion to you is get off the scale. Replace the thoughts you have about the scale with God’s thoughts about it.
Did you find yourself responding like this to my suggestion? I could never stop weighing myself at LEAST once each day!
Replace that thought, too! How about with this thought: Ok, God is doing a new thing. Me staying off the scale really WOULD be proof of that! I will choose to stay off the scale and I will survive! 🙂
ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF FOOD NEEDED BY YOUR BODY
Many are surprised about how little food it takes to satisfy physical hunger between 0 and 5. You may have thoughts like these about the small amount of food it takes to sustain your body:
- I can’t believe that I am not still hungry. Of course I need more food than that little bit!
- I really HATE that I can’t eat more that this without being over a “5.” God couldn’t possibly expect me to live on so little food!
- I will never be able to live like this the rest of my life! I love food just too much!
Here is another opportunity to see if these thoughts pass the Philippians 4:8 test! Are these thoughts true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy?
What is really true?
- My body is remarkably efficient! I don’t need that much food to sustain me. How COOL is that? God, I am fearfully and wonderfully made!
- God empowers and strengthens me to break strongholds such as eating more food than I need for reasons other than physical hunger. He is in the business of sanctifying–purifying–perfecting and this is part of that work. He is teaching me to depend on him so much. He is calling me closer to His heart through this struggle. With an invitation like that, I can definitely learn to feast on the Lord and release my hold on so much food!
- For my entire life, I get to walk with God in humble dependence on Him as He continues to work this fact–my need for so little food–into my life. I can’t fathom the great intimacy with a mighty, good, and wonderful God that is yet ahead for me!
- God promises to be my portion. I know that he means what He says and His promises are true. He will work into my life a deeper love for Him than I currently have for food.
- I have the wonderful privilege of selecting foods from all that is available. I may not eat very much of it, but I get to relish each and every bite and enjoy it thoroughly. What a gift that is!
What other thoughts could you use to replace the negative thoughts that don’t pass the Philippians 4:8 test relative to the small amount of food it takes to sustain you?
ABOUT THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND
You may have thoughts about the process mentioned in Romans 12:2 about the renewing of your mind.
- It is just too much work to change the way I think!
- Do I really have to sit down and journal about all of this EACH time I am faced with the temptation to eat?
- This renewing the mind stuff takes too much time. Just gimme a diet so I can GET THIN!
These thoughts don’t pass the Philippians 4:8 test either. How about replacing them with:
- This will be worth fighting for, worth working for. This is transformation I am after and God will do it in me. I will participate in it with Him as He calls me. It will be worth it!
- I sit down to do things all the time (tv, read, computer, etc.) so I probably have more time to sit down and journal than I want to admit, but I also know that as I develop renewing my mind as a habit, I will be able to do it “on the fly” and won’t always need to sit down to do it! It is a process and I am in the early stages! It is worth learning. Romans 12:2!!!
- I have done diets before and gotten thin(ner) before. But they haven’t worked for me. I want a change that will draw me closer to God and change my inside AND out–for the rest of my days! This is it!
What other thoughts have you had that you want to renew your mind about?
by Heidi Bylsma | Apr 9, 2012 | Blog
If you have visited this blog for any time at all, you know that I celebrated a loss of 100 pounds using only the Thin Within principles…eating when hungry, stopping when no longer hungry, eating any food I wanted to, and not being involved in any exercise routine of any kind. Because of all the reasons I tended to want to eat aside from hunger, I learned to depend on God a whole lot to be my “portion” when heart hunger and head hunger called. These can’t be satisfied with physical food. During the time I released the weight, my walk with God deepened as I leaned on him for strength. So, from Nov. 2006 to Fall of 2007, I released 100 pounds of physical weight and emotionally and spiritually, I felt set free as well.
But what has happened since then?
Four and a half years later, I remain a healthy size. That is the good news.
But, I haven’t kept all 100 pounds off. I think there was something magical about “100” pounds for me…the number became almost more important than anything else. I don’t think that was where I was supposed to land for the rest of my life. So being that thin isn’t God’s “ideal size” for me.
In fact, last year at this time, I saw just how easy it was for me to be obsessed with weight, size and exercise again! I revisited an obsession I hadn’t known in over 15 years! I exercised 2 hours a day in addition to the tennis I was playing. That clearly was out of line.
Truthfully, since 2007, my size has fluctuated. I have remained a healthy size during all that time, but there IS in fact, a lot of work yet that God is doing regarding how I view food and my body. I am definitely still a work in progress.
In my rather lengthy dieting history before 1999 (when I stopped dieting), I never stayed a healthy size for more than a year once the weight was lost, let alone almost five! So I continue to celebrate the fact that I am still a healthy size! WHOO HOO! It is, after all, so easy to beat myself up (even now!) for ways I fall short.
I thought I would share with you some of the struggles I do have…
- “Nutritionally dense” foods are not my preferred fare. I am stuck in Phase 1 of Thin Within most of the time…the “Freedom Phase.” Since much of my childhood abuse was focused on food, I do try to extend some measure of grace to myself about not eating raw carrots or green salad. Truthfully, I only like vegetables in salsa and well-cooked stew or soup! I hope to “grow up” relative to my eating preferences.
- This continues to be a journey of my heart–much more so than of the body. It doesn’t take much for me to rush back to the comfort that I have found in food over the course of my life–maybe not with the abandon and zeal of my former years, but the thinking is still there…or there again.
- I got rid of my bathroom scale at least four years ago at the encouragement of my accountability partner at the time. It was a great choice then, but right now I am drawn to the added accountability of numbers! This BUGs me–the truth is, I know if I am eating according to the boundaries God has given me without a bathroom scale! If I eat according to those boundaries, I need not fear weight gain. If I don’t eat according to those parameters, I know I will likely “find” weight that was “lost.” Numbers are so motivating because they are so instant. But I want a heart that is transformed…both in terms of how I think of food and what is most important to me–heart change or body change? I could use the numbers of the scale to be motivated more to stay focused on 0 to 5 eating, but the expense to my heart might be rather high…I might become obsessed with weight–numbers–again. I don’t want to go there! Goodness! I am over-thinking this, I am sure. I just want to be normal!
- Fear has a grip on me again (still?). (I am sure that is obvious! LOL!) I live in fear that I will weigh 250 pounds again. I want to value having a heart change more than a body change…but honestly, I don’t live with such noble motivations much of the time. :-/ I know God wants to renew my thinking in this. I am even more fearful because of my role in the Thin Within company and with a possible book project (being pitched this month)–if I am going to be connected with “Thin” anything, I better be sure not to blow it and not be a healthy size! How is that for godly, deep, thinking?
Here is a photo that hubby took on Saturday…his newest hobby is photography and the silly man likes to take pictures of things in motion the most, it seems. I tend to be his primary “subject.” It definitely keeps me “honest.” So one more thing I guess I struggle with…when I see this photo, I see “fluffy.” I don’t like that. I want to see hardened, athletic muscles! I know this is something that God wants to change in my thinking, too. Somewhere between “fat acceptance” and “obsession with thin” is a place where I honor God with my eating, worship with joyful movement of my body, delight in who HE is, and who He is making me to be!
Well, there you have it. The truth tossed out on the table. So, though I have kept off most of the weight, though I am a healthy size, my mind is definitely stuck in a place that I don’t think is healthy for me! I need to “lose” the old mindset!
But I am optimistic that God is doing a new thing even now! I refuse to live in condemnation because I don’t “do this” perfectly. He is sanctifying me, one babystep at a time!
How about you? Can you relate to any of the struggles I have listed? What new thing is God possibly doing in you right now?
by Heidi Bylsma | Mar 21, 2012 | Blog
The LORD had said to Abram,
“Go from your country,
your people and your father’s household
to the land I will show you.
So Abram went, as the LORD had told him…
~ Genesis 12:1,4a
Leaving the familiar behind is uncomfortable, even painful. Stepping out into the unknown requires a huge leap of faith. When we dare to try Thin Within or to venture toward some other “intuitive eating” approach to managing our health (food, eating and size), this leap of faith is definitely required. We have relied upon the tools of scales, calorie (or point) counters, food labels and bathroom scales all our lives. The thought of leaving all of those tools behind is counter-intuitive, certainly! God’s invitation to trust him as we step forward into the unknown comes with a lot of uncertainty. What guarantees do we have? Only that he will show us what he has in mind…in his way and in his time.
Last week, I had a tennis match scheduled early in a town a 60 minute drive away (when there is no traffic). Warm-up time was 8:30am, so, to account for the traffic on the main highway and the plan to stop for a quick breakfast, I left at 6:30am (I am a tennis die-hard!). Conditions where I live in Cool, California, definitely weren’t ideal for a tennis match:
Everything indicated I was a nut to leave the warmth and dryness of my home to make this trek for a tennis match that might not even happen! The sky threatened to unload even more rain on an already saturated world. I had yet to receive a call or email from my team captain indicating the match was cancelled. I had a decision to make: Would I go against what made sense, travel the distance, battle the traffic, risking the possibility it might be for nothing and the match cancelled after I got an hour down the road? If I waited to leave, hoping for the cancellation call, what if it didn’t come? I might risk being late and possibly bring my team a default! NOT a good idea. So, I resolutely packed my car with my tennis gear and started down the highway, wondering if I would end up turning around.
About 15 minutes from home, I wondered…maybe this wasn’t so futile after all!
The distant horizon seemed to breathe a bit of a promise. But in the foothills, these things can be deceptive. Would the journey be worth it?
As I got on the highway about 20 minutes from my home, it was clear that the worst of the weather was behind me, but I still wasn’t convinced! Not until I got farther down the highway.
By the time I drove past Sacramento (a good 40+ miles from my house), if I looked behind me, I could see why I had wondered, but going forward…there were barely any clouds in the sky! Once to my destination town, I couldn’t believe the springlike conditions!
Having stopped for a quick bite to eat within 15 minutes of my destination, I received a text from another player on the team who lives near me in the foothills. She hadn’t left her home yet and it was, in fact, pouring rain on her end of the line. “I assume the match is cancelled?” I responded with a text joking that the opposing team might think we were nuts for even wondering given that there wasn’t a cloud in the sky down in the valley! Hard to believe that the photo above was taken just an hour and a half after I left my home where the sky was so dark and everything so wet!
Although there was no rain and the match wasn’t cancelled, we did have to do battle with extreme wind. I thought one of my teammates was going to be blown right off the court! It wasn’t for the faint of heart and I, unfortunately, lost my match in a third set tiebreaker.
But I couldn’t help but wonder if the faith required to leave the warmth of my home that morning wasn’t at least somewhat similar to what we are called to when we feel God leading us to let go of all our diets, dieting paraphernalia, beliefs about food and body weight and to join him on an adventure to trust him with our body’s signals…to eat when we sense a physical sensation of hunger, stop when we are no longer hungry, to eat foods that are “normal” and enjoyable to us and to be sensitive to the many other reasons that we feel drawn to food, going to God to have that “heart hunger” satisfied instead.
I wonder if “leaving and going” to the “land” that God has for us might not be rewarded with “almond blossoms and blue skies” like I was as I left home last Tuesday.
The return trek back to the familiar after my tennis match looked pretty unintimidating. I even had the top down in my convertible!
Thirty minutes into my drive back toward the foothills, though, I was wondering…
And by the time I was here:
…it was clear I needed to pull over and put the convertible top back up. Sure enough, I was heading back to the familiar…back to the dark, dreary, wetness.
I want to encourage you…if you are uncertain about the invitation to “leave and go”–to set aside all that you “know” about food, eating, and diets, to risk, to change, to be challenged in a new adventure with “intuitive” eating…a non-diet approach…be it Thin Within or something similar…it will be worth it. There is something waiting for you that is vastly different than anything you have experienced before. It is freedom. It may take a lot of faith to keep on the road. Doubts may assail you. Everything may seem to indicate that this isn’t “intuitive” at all! But hang in there! Victory you have longed for awaits down the road!
How about you? Are you considering Thin Within or another intuitive eating approach? What questions, doubts, fears do you have? Are you willing to give it a shot? 🙂
by Heidi Bylsma | Jan 17, 2012 | Blog
My accountability partner has been teaching me the value of renewing my mind about food and eating. This is helping me tremendously to get back on track. I haven’t been at peace with food and my body for a couple of years (if I *ever* was, really!).
I had a season of exercising a lot and I “justified” eating outside of my boundaries, just like I would back in the dieting days! “I have worked out long and hard! I can ‘afford’ to eat this!”
Recently, I wondered about returning to 1-2 hours of intense cardio each day (in addition to the tennis I play almost daily). I also wondered about getting a bathroom scale again… “Just to motivate me!” I have to be honest with you…these are thoughts–temptations for me, really–that would short-cut what I need to learn. I need to learn to think differently. When I think differently, I will act differently.
My mind has to be renewed. How I view food, it’s purpose and place in my life, how I view boundaries…whether I will have them and which ones, etc…etc… All of this has to be determined, committed to.
This evening I am meeting my sister who is coming from out of town. Our meetings are typically somewhat intense as we have to make decisions and have conversations about our mother’s care. Add to this fact, this morning, my husband left town, beginning a long season of travel, which changes the dynamic in our home considerably given my 19-year-old son and I struggle in our communication. Bob typically runs interference for me with Daniel. So I find myself a bit keyed up (something else I need to renew my mind about!).
Soon, my daughter and I will leave to meet my sister for dinner at a buffet–“Fresh Choice.” I want to be proactive right now and plan to be very specific about what I will eat and how I will look at food given the abundance provided there coupled with the emotions I feel.
With the help of my accountability partner, I have learned how to ask myself questions and how to answer them, evaluating what I REALLY want. Affirming the TRUTH has made a huge difference for me. I am committed to doing this at least once each day regardless of if I have struggled with my eating or not. Practically, this is training me to think differently. But it *is* a slow process.
Right now, I am going to do this with the buffet and how I feel today. I thought I would give you a glimpse into this process, in case you might find it helpful. So here it is, happening in “real time!”
Lord, I am dreading what is ahead today. I am definitely dreading taking my Mom to the doctor tomorrow. In fact, I have dreaded these two days for a while. I feel so helpless. I know, Lord, that the buffet dinner tonight will offer a whole lot of options for “numbing” myself to the feelings I don’t want to feel. I reject that, Lord. Instead of viewing the buffet as an opportunity to do what I want, I choose to take captive my thoughts about food and eating. My body was purchased by the precious blood of Jesus and it isn’t mine to do with as I please. My body belongs to the Lord. I want to feed it only when it needs fuel and I want to feed it an appropriate amount that it needs.
Lord, I want to apply myself to following the 8 Keys to Conscious Eating, even in the middle of a restaurant with my sister and daughter present. Lord. I know I may FEEL like I *want* to eat more, but what do I really want? Lord, I want to eat in a way that is in line with 1 Corinthians 10:31…to glorify you in my eating! I choose to rejoice in eating appropriately, within God-given boundaries. I choose NOT to look to food to meet needs in my heart that can only be met through fellowship with the Lover of my Soul. Is the sacrifice really too great? Is it really too high a price to pay to lay down a second brownie or another piece of french bread? Isn’t experiencing joy in my eating experience with NO regret afterward worth NOT overeating? I get to eat whatever I want within the physical boundaries of hunger and satisfaction! No diets ever again! That is a gift! Lord, I don’t want to abuse that gift by stuffing more food in than I need.
Lord, I don’t need very much food at this buffet. I know that even arriving really hungry (which I will definitely be as I am hungry now!), it won’t take much more than a fistful-sized amount of food to satisfy me. I need to slow down and really take note of the wonderful tastes and textures and delight in how efficient my body is! Lord, thank you that I don’t need much food!
Lord, another thought that is a lie that pops in at buffets is that in order to get my money’s worth, I need to eat a lot of food. That is so silly! I am not paying for this meal so that I can harden my heart, stuff my face, and boast that I have a good cost-to-quantity ratio! That is ridiculous! I want to pay the full buffet price for a wonderful bowl of the chicken pozole I love (with cheese), a piece of french bread (slathered in butter) and a brownie muffin. That will probably be enough to satisfy me and it is well worth the cost since I enjoy the flavors so much and don’t have a soup recipe that I love nearly as much.
Lord, I do have the emotions to contend with, but if I stuff food to numb my feelings, I will not only have to face the emotions again afterwards, but also disappointment in myself and feeling yucky physically for overeating. Lord, the benefit to eating more than I need is slight…it isn’t even a benefit. It is that I get to taste the food longer. Well, duh! If I eat half as much food twice as slow, I get to taste the food just as long without overeating! It makes no sense to overeat. Lord, I trust this to you.
Thank you that THESE are the truths. The lies have NO place in my mind. I choose to take captive my thoughts and make them obedient to you. I LOVE how I feel inside when I make THIS sacrifice. When I lay down my wants for the greater joy of following you. Thank you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
by Heidi Bylsma | Jun 13, 2011 | Blog
We often think of worship as singing songs on Sunday mornings, but the exciting truth is, we can do whatever we do for the glory of God, just as 1 Corinthians 10:31 says:
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Even eating and drinking can be an expression of worship! In fact, a careful study of Scripture might indicate to an astute observer of the text that God cares very much about this aspect of our lives. So let’s invite him to show us His will for our lives this summer!
Thin Within is the non-diet approach I used to release 100 pounds of weight between summer of 2006 and fall of 2007 and I continue to maintain a healthy size the same way. Not only is this an approach to managing weight, but it really is a discipleship program–focusing my heart and mind on being renewed by the Word of truth and submitting to the God of the Universe in *all* things…even things that seem mundane!
Thin Within is NOT a program where you will learn diet laws and rules. In fact, you will be encouraged to throw out your diet paraphernalia! You will even be challenged NOT to get on your bathroom scale. There are no “good foods” or “bad foods.” All is lawful! (1 Corinthians 6:12)
Instead, you will be encouraged to respond to your God-given signals of physical hunger and satisfaction. You will have the joy of allowing God to direct you personally in eating whatever foods you desire within the parameters of physical need. You can do this without guilt and with delight. Each time you are physically hungry you can select something to eat that thrills your taste buds! If you love summer squash, then great! Enjoy! If you hate it, don’t ever eat another bite of it again. 🙂 If you love cheese enchiladas, enjoy the freedom of having the mexican meal of your dreams when you are hungry and stopping when you are no longer hungry.
No weighing, measuring, counting, or preparing of special foods. You can eat out, go on vacation, eat what your family eats. I know it sounds too good to be true, but the key is in something that is hard for many of us–M-O-D-E-R-A-T-I-O-N. It works!
I believe that this is where our God-given freedom from tyranny of food, body images, and self-loathing is found. As I learn to ask the Lord to renew my mind and my thinking about food and my body, I see that He is the Creator! He created my body to be reliable if I will depend on HIM to help me through all those other times I may be drawn to food! I begin to trust him with this process. We *can* do this. And when we eat only what we *need* we will release the extra weight and discover our natural God-given size.
Because we eat each time we are hungry, we don’t have to worry about “shutting down” our metabolisms. The truth is, we are teaching our bodies that we are *NOT* in “starvation” mode. Quite to the contrary, in fact.
Additionally, because we will depend on the Lord to learn about our bodies and the way we think about food, to expose the lies we have believed, to replace these lies with truth, we will find our relationships with the Lord deepening.
I won’t lie to you…this process IS hard. There is a definite need to die to self–to be willing to say no to the additional portion when I am no longer hungry, but the joy that comes is bountiful!
Consider Colossians 2:20-21:
Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world,
why, as though you still belonged to the world,
do you submit to its rules:
“Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”?
These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use,
are based on merely human commands and teachings.
Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom,
with their self-imposed worship,
their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body,
but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
The above description sounds so much like a diet to me. I want to be DONE with that…I mean FOREVER. Do you? Aren’t you sick of the good food/bad food lists? Especially when you know down inside that you still REALLY love Häagen–Dazs ice cream and hate fat-free salad dressing? As we enjoy a modest amount of our favorite foods slowly and deliberately, we *are* satisfied. Partly because we go to GOD to have our heart needs met…instead of food! I can’t get my spiritual and emotional hungers fed by eating physical food. Nope. It won’t work! So Thin Within teaches that I go to God for that and then I am able to see the value of restraining indulging in extra portions of favorite foods! I end up joyful. I end up satisfied.
Please consider joining us for our study this summer. We will meet each week on Wednesdays from 4:30-5:30 PDT at
http://www.thinwithin.org/chat/ to discuss what we have studied during the week. Be sure to get the workbook material so you can study during the week on your own! God will bless this! Give it 13 weeks and see if God doesn’t blow you away with the NEW THING He is doing!
