Sitting next to my favorite young man in one of my all time favorite eating places, I sinned. I’m certain I’ve done this countless times before today but this time was extraordinary. This time I was made aware of what I was doing. In the way that only Jesus can do, my subconscious was made conscious. It was like some strange time lapse or mind warp (definitely unexplainable to the carnal mind). I could suddenly comprehend the truth about my condition.
It was the most amazing thing to be in this moment of His brilliant light. No one else knew. No one else could tell what I was experiencing. The earth didn’t stop turning on it’s axis. Conversations continued and all things around me remained normal.
Except for me! I was no longer the same! I had been instantly changed by His Grace. In those few silent moments I thought that my heart would surely burst.
I was really hungry that morning, probably at minus-one…below zero. I ordered a warm and toasty Asiago Bagle with cream cheese, and of course a steaming hot beverage. I love eating at zero, don’t you? It’s so freeing and satisfying. My mouth watering, in anticipation, I spread the white creamy protein all over my bagel and popped in a delectable bite. Heavenly….no really….what occurred next was from heaven.
I continued to eat. I talked. I chewed. I paused and enjoyed conversation with my son. I ate slowly and enjoyed each bite with gratitude. Food definitely wasn’t the most important feature of the morning. The friendship with my son was, the ride in his brand new hot rod was. Everything this beautiful hot summer day held in store for us was what I focused on.
During the past two years, I have learned so much through TW, like food is not bad or the enemy. God has helped me to release around sixty pounds following the keys to conscious eating and to maintain it for over a year. I know my own hunger and fullness. I don’t feel guilty just for eating food or enjoying it. So all felt right with my soul as the hot sun beat down upon us.
Then it happened. About half way through my delicious carb, I began to notice satiety. It was time to stop eating. The Lord visited me in my fullness. He made my senses keener and directed my focus to my belly. It was full. It was enough. I momentarily paused and quickly reentered the conversation, waiting to see if I was really satisfied with half. I decided I wasn’t and that I could hold more. I gleefully finished the second half, not giving it another seconds thought. We went on our way and continued our morning activities. Again I thought, all is well with my soul. Peace, joy and happiness filled me.
But when I got home alone again, more than joy filled me. That second half of breakfast filled me too. I should say, it over-filled me. Oh, I was still quite comfortable physically and it felt like my familiar full feeling, but not in my heart. Remember, I was telling you that something occurred in the café? At home, away from the crowd, my thoughts once again were flooded by His light.
Quicker than my shallow breath of a prayer was expelled, I had the answer. I over-rode the signal. Not the physical one, the spiritual one. The Lord had signaled me to stop. I could have been satisfied. But because I hadn’t recognized it previously, my carnal physical self took control to over-ride the new spiritual signal.
Here at home, my heart filled with regret (that I didn’t stop) mixed in with delight (that I knew the difference now and could repent). It seemed that He was recalibrating my fullness signal.
God took away my heart of unbelief and convinced me of the sin of not listening. He cut me to the heart, spiritually, and it had a profound effect. My foolishness left me and the pain of my rebellion fell away.
Deut. 10:16; “Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no more stiffnecked.”
Jeremiah 4:4; “Circumcise yourselves to the LORD, circumcise your hearts.”
Jeremiah 24:10; “ I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.“
God alone can take lies out and impart truth. He is the One who softens, quickens, enlightens and purifies. Oh, the blessings of His grace shed abroad in my heart. I always wanted to love Him with all my heart. Now I am more able to. I can see my sin and I can see my Savior more clearly.
Humbly I went about the rest of my day, resolved to listen to and heed the new instilled signal of the Spirit. My old physical fullness signal no longer served the greater good of my obedience. The Spirit would reign in full power from now on. I could rest in Him and rejoice in His loving correction.
Proverbs 3:12; “For whom the Lord loves he corrects; even as a father the son in whom he delights.”
How about you? How’s your listening skills been lately? Do you feel like your signals could use some recalibration too? What has He been trying to tell you? What would it mean to your eating if your hunger and fullness was restored? Are you willing?