Being Honest With Myself
Some of you reading this may have just heard of Thin Within. Some may have done a few of the studies and others may be “Veterans”. No matter where we are on this journey, in order for this way of life to “work”, we have to be honest with ourselves.
I realized this recently AGAIN. It is so easy to slip back into “bad habits” and old ways to cope with life. Although I no longer go on a binge like I used to and am not tempted by the idea of going back on a diet, I still find myself sometimes breaking my 0-5 boundaries when I am stressed.
I also have “secondary boundaries” that help me stay in the bounds of 0-5 eating. They are basically that I don’t put any more on my plate than a fist sized portion, I don’t eat from a bag of anything (chips, candy, whatever….) and I don’t “graze” after a meal (you know, pick here and there while cleaning up from dinner, etc.). I try to stop when I am no longer hungry instead of “full”.
As I looked back over a week or so, I had a moment of honesty. I realized that a sort of “fog” had slipped over my eyes.
I asked myself some questions:
- Am I drawing closer to God right now?
- Do I feel His presence?
- What do I REALLY feel?
- What am I trying to escape with food or TV or Facebook?
- Where am I spending my time? (is it REALLY in prayer and in the WORD?)
- Where are my eyes looking?
- What is my mind thinking?
- What has been my heart’s desire lately?
FOR WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE YOUR HEART WILL BE ALSO Matthew 6:21
After I asked those hard questions to myself, I found that I wasn’t really seeking Him. I saw that I WAS trying to escape. I was tired. And JESUS said to ME…..
COME TO ME ALL YOU ARE WEARY AND HEAVY BURDENED AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. Matthew 11:28
When I realized what I had been doing, I saw Jesus right there reaching out to me, pulling me close to Him. He didn’t condemn me for walking in a fog. He didn’t reprimand me for not being perfect. He didn’t let me sit and wallow in the mud of self condemnation. He pulled me up and said, “I wash you anew. We are walking forward on this journey.” He called me back to the boundaries He has given me.
That’s the beauty of this way of living. In the past (when I was dieting and was addicted to exercise) if I wasn’t perfect, I would beat myself up. This way of living is HOPE and GRACE and LOVE that comes from God. The truth is in Him. Only in HIM can I keep any kind of boundary that He has set for me. Only by focusing on HIM can I walk this journey.
Yes, He was holding me up and leading me forward and giving me the guidance. All I had to do was stop, and look and listen for Him.
Right now.
This morning.
This day.
This moment.
I can start over. I can reach my hand for HIM and we can walk this journey together.
So, no matter where you are on this journey (and remember this is a journey, not a diet or a destination), we must be honest with ourselves.
- Why are we doing this?
- What are we really worshiping? (could it be “skinny” or a number on a scale?)
- Where am I placing my heart and mind?
Let me be honest with you, Dear Readers.
ONLY THRU HIM AND HIS TRUTH CAN WE DO THIS!
OH! It is so worth the journey!
Reach for Jesus. Leave behind the accusations and lies of the enemy. Leave behind the world and their idea of beauty.
Be honest with yourself and listen for Jesus.
He says to you “my daughter, walk with me and be fulfilled.”
