“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)
The picture above is of my beloved Great Pyrenees, Duke, and a litter of foster puppies who raided his personal food bowl one afternoon. Duke, as you can see, was patient despite their poor judgment. Weighing just eight ounces shy of 150 pounds, Duke is immensely strong. The Pyrenees breed was created to protect flocks by being strong enough to kill any predator, even a bear. The massive chest, the powerful jaws, the legs as thick as bricks all point to an alpha male that can take down any opponent. Which is why I love watching Duke with those little puppies. Those fluffballs regard Duke as a living playground. They climb and claw and bite. Duke lets them disturb his naps, steal from his food bowl, and run away with his toys. I’ve seen them nibble on his nose and his ears, and Duke will only sigh and occasionally groan at their misdeeds.
Their foolish youthful indiscretions should put their lives in great danger. After all, Duke was bred for massive strength. Yet it is precisely Duke’s strength that keeps the puppies safe. His massive power gives the puppies a lot of leeway in their behavior. His strength gives them freedom. He is so big, and so strong, that he is not threatened when they growl or jump or bite. They can hurt him, but they can’t wound him. He is patient with them, because he’s not just powerful; he’s kind.
Yet when I sit down to pray to my heavenly Father, as I contemplate His massive power, sometimes I get nervous. My chest feels tight. My jaw muscles tense, I shift my weight in my chair. My body tenses as if to run; how can an all-powerful God be completely good? How can I trust so much power? Isn’t power similar to anger?
No. It’s not. If we’ve seen too many Hollywood movies, or if we grew up in a dysfunctional home, we may have forgotten that power and anger are worlds apart. God is powerful, but He is good. He is kind. That’s hard for me to grasp, and I’m thankful that every prayer is a baby-step to understanding God’s big, beautiful heart of love. Each prayer is a little invitation to see great power demonstrated through love. Mighty strength displayed in kindness.
Scripture tells us that this is how He wants to answer our every prayer. Psalm 119 is one of many passages that tells us God answers our prayers according to His loving kindness. Let me say that again: He will answer you with love plus kindness. Whatever you pray for today, His answer will be love. Plus kindness. If you eat past 5, if you spend past your budget, if you’ve betrayed a friend or you’re struggling with shame and regrets, His answer to you is love. Plus kindness.
Sometimes when I pray, I like to write my prayers down as if I am writing a letter to a friend. I may describe a situation or problem then ask on paper, “What is the most loving thing that could happen here? What would be the kindest thing?” When I am confronted with an action I must take, I ask, “What would love do? How would kindness act?”
I pray for everything and about everything. I have only begun to understand and believe that Love and Kindness are always the answer. Every problem and every failure needs both, and God knows we are weak. He knows we often use poor judgment, and that what we desperately need is what He has already promised. He is ready and willing to love us, exactly as and where we are. His enormous power and strength are demonstrated in His love and kindness toward our weakness. We are free to approach Him with confidence, and even boldness, because He delights in revealing how His love and kindness can transform our worst moments into His greatest miracles.
What About You?
When you pray, what do you expect? Do you fear punishment or expect love? What does your expectation tell you about your beliefs?
Think of your greatest problem or battle today. What is the most loving thing you could do? What would a great kindness be?
Can obedience be a form of kindness to yourself? When you submit to God’s ways, do you experience a freedom and joy that seem closely related to kindness and love?
Image courtesy of anankkml / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
In less than a week (give or take), I will be holding our newborn son in my arms for the very first time. A lot of changes are around the corner, and I’ve been reminding myself to take it all one moment at a time, even with the lack of sleep a baby can bring.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what my eating will look like after the baby comes. Most of my journey with Thin Within and overcoming the issues I was having before, took place during my pregnancy. I shared a little bit about this before in a post about Pregnancy & Thin Within. To be honest, there have been times when I’ve wondered if after I have the baby, I will be tempted to go back to Weight Watchers. My accountability partner knows this has been a concern of mine. I have seen the Lord do some amazing things in my life, mind and body throughout this journey while being pregnant. In so many ways, it’s been such a blessing. One blessing is that I have paid no attention to my weight. And now seeing how I look and feel with only a few weeks of pregnancy to go, I want to give Him all of the praise, honor, and glory for helping me stay at a healthy pregnancy weight (whatever it may be). I can tell I’ve honored my hunger within the boundaries God has given me, and He has helped me learn to delight in my boundaries. Praise God!
The other day I was reading in Barb Raveling’s book Taste for Truth: A 30 Day Weight Loss Bible Study. She was talking about how she was breaking boundaries right and left. She said that instead of renewing her mind, her response was “being frustrated and thinking my boundaries didn’t work” (page 95). This spoke volumes to me because that’s exactly what I start to think when I break a boundary. “Oh, I guess these boundaries aren’t working for me (since I broke them), so I might as well go back to Weight Watchers.” But these boundaries DO work!
So if it’s not the boundaries that are flawed, what is it? It’s the LIES I am believing! So then enters the importance of renewing my mind (which I keep on crowing about–ha!). Instead of wallowing in my mess (remember my potty training illustration from this post?), I need to renew my mind about whatever lie that caused the boundary breakage.
This is huge for me. HUGE! I’m getting closer and closer to completely cutting off the lie that I have to return to a diet when I choose not to following my boundaries. Praise God!
When I was spending time with the Lord this morning, He was showing me that eating between hunger and fullness works all of the time in helping one to lose or maintain weight. There is no special program I have to go on in order to lose weight after having a baby. Eating 0-5 will work! So I won’t need a diet! I won’t need to measure, track, weigh, or focus on food! My boundaries are perfect boundaries!
Maybe you are reading this and thinking, “Whoa, ‘perfect’ is a strong word to describe your boundaries!” But if I didn’t believe that, then I’d be in trouble. They are perfect for me because it’s what the Lord has asked me to do and it’s the only thing that He’s given me peace about. So basically, I know it’s His will for me. It’s been my prayer that I would see my boundaries as delightful.
Here are some truths I have in my truth cards pertaining to my boundaries:
I can stay within my boundaries in spite of temptation or even when I don’t feel like it.
“Boundaries aren’t restrictive fences meant to keep us from enjoying life, but gifts from a God Who cares about our well-being.” Lysa TerKeurst
“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:7
I don’t need a diet when I can just listen to my body. I can eat within my boundaries.
Breaking my boundaries is not a reward.
Boundaries make my life better.
I feel immediate joy when I choose to honor my boundaries.
Not even one bite outside of my boundaries.
Boundaries DO make my life better. They keep me safe. Some boundaries that I have for eating are: eating 0-5, eating while sitting and without distraction, and eating slowly so I can enjoy my food. These are the boundaries God has given to me right now, and I am really starting to see how delightful these boundaries are. I CAN stay within my boundaries!
So as I proceed into the next chapter of my life (being a mommy of two!), I know I can persevere in what God has already showed me to do: delight in my boundaries!
How about you?
Do you believe your boundaries are perfect? Or are you tempted like I’ve been to go back to a diet when you break a boundary? What lies have you been believing? What truths can combat those lies? Will you join me in persevering and delighting in your God-given boundaries?
Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 16:5-6
Boundaries…we have been talking about them since our orientation week. They are fundamental to a godly life and eating is no exception. Eating without boundaries gets us to places we don’t want to go! Eating within the boundaries of hunger and satisfaction is a wonderful goal for us, honoring our body’s requirements and the way our amazing God has created us. Truly, this is a wonderful, pleasant boundary. No more diets! No more restriction! No more obsession! It is my hope that you are experiencing the blessing of living within God’s boundaries for your life.
This week’s video is so special to me! I am definitely eager to feature other people in the videos that we supply to encourage you on your journey. Last week, I traveled with my husband to the Chicago area where I was able to meet up with Cathy Maher, a new facilitator of Thin Within classes online. She let me twist her arm into being in this week’s video with me! Cathy is still taking sign-ups for her Workbook #1 online study, so hurry over to the sign-up page and click the link to register!
There are more video questions than normal this week. The reason for that is that Cathy is a fount of wisdom, knowledge, ideas, and inspiration. I want to be sure to “milk” our video interview for all we possibly can. If it seems like too much, then just do what you can.
Video Questions:
1. What is Cathy’s definition of a boundary? (0:43)
2. How do you identify with Cathy’s definition? What is the parameter that you have for yourself with regard to your eating?
3. Cathy referenced 2 Timothy 1:7 at 1:15. Look this up in your bible and evaluate the place that fear, power, love and a sound mind might have in your Thin Within journey.
4. From 1:33 to 1:45 Cathy mentions some reasons that we may have trouble with “finding” our 5 boundary lines. What are some of the reasons she describes? Are any of these possibly keeping you from “finding” 5?
5. What does Cathy suggest will make the difference for us to be able to recognize our “5?” (1:50-1:59)
6. What role does evening eating have in your difficulties with staying within the godly boundaries of 0 and 5 for your eating? What would happen if you created a secondary boundary of not eating after dinner unless you had a very insistent “0?”
7. How can using Truth Cards assist you in accepting the truth of your identity and help you no longer to break your 0 and 5 boundaries?
8. Cathy’s 0 to 5 boundary has had to shift, as she has discovered she has food sensitivities. What has helped her the most? (4:46)
9. At 5:17 Cathy speaks about her struggle with condemnation and how she has broken free from it. Can you identify with what she shares? How would adopting a personal boundary about rejecting condemning thoughts help you?
10. At 6:12 to 7:53, Cathy mentions a relatively new boundary for her regarding the scale. How can you identify with what she shares? Should you adopt a boundary relative to the bathroom scale? How might that actually serve your boundary of eating within 0 and 5? How has using the bathroom scale helped you? How has it hurt you?
11. At 8:48 to 8:55 Cathy says she had to redefine what a good evening is about, what time with her husband was about. How can you change the definition of what a good evening is for you to honor your godly eating boundaries? How can you change what it means to bond with your loved ones and friends to honor your godly eating boundaries?
12. One of Cathy’s earliest boundaries (she has released 30 pounds so far!) was her body would belong to God. In fact, she asserts at 10:52 that it is a “necessary boundary to do this program.” If you struggle consistently with respecting your godly boundaries, perhaps this is the most fundamental boundary that you could establish that might help. What are your thoughts about this? Your fears? Your concerns?
13. Cathy shares some tips at the end of the video. The first is to “Keep it Simple.” How might you apply this tip from Cathy? The second is to “Make it Personal.” What changes could you make to approach Thin Within in a more personal way, welcoming God’s Truth to come deeply into your own heart uniquely?
14. Another tip Cathy shares is to pray for discernment and pray for a willing spirit. Can you carve this into your time with the Lord each day, to include a request for discernment and willingness?
15. Cathy’s final tip is to “Go Easy.” What are ways that you are too hard on yourself? What can you do instead? Even if you have not lost weight in a week’s time, what other changes might you take note of? (12:23)
16. At 12:34 we dialog a bit about a boundary of “What will I call progress?” This is where I refuse to use numbers or weights or sizes to evaluate our progress given that God is doing so much more in our lives than just weight/size. What are some of the things in your life that God has been doing?
Renewing the Mind – Pressing On
1. What is true about failure? Take some time to generate a list of what is TRUE about “failure” on this journey…and tell yourself the truth. If you need help with this, just ask. Failure is NOT an undertaker, but is one of the best teachers we have going!
2. If you haven’t started using Barb’s book or iTunes app yet, now is the time! Make the final 4 weeks of this class your best yet by using her material to renew your mind.
Pick One (book or workbook):
Trade Book Assignment – To Be Completed by March 10th
Here is the Thin Within Book Study Guide Week 9. Feel free to discuss it at our Facebook group or here! THIS WEEK, we will have a drawing for one of Barb’s books. The comments made last week and those made this week … all names will be put in a drawing to win either Taste for Truth or I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies That Make You Eat! Comment on this blog post or any others this week or last in order to be put in the drawing. You can enter more than once, too. 🙂
Workbook Assignment – To Be Completed by March 10th.
1. Read, highlight, mark 🙂 Lesson 9,Boundaries, on pages D3 – D8 or listen to it or download it from Sound Cloud. Discuss it here in the comments section below this post or at our Class Facebook Group.
2. Complete the exercises for Lesson 9 on pages D10 – D16. Don’t worry if you are behind. Just do what you can of this week’s material. Next Monday before the webinar, respond to the Review questions on page D17 or even better–do so at our Facebook discussion group.
3. List 10 attributes of God that have ministered the most to your heart. Have a praise fest, saying back to Him these attributes and thanking him for how they have ministered to you. Share here at the blog how this impacts you.
4. Use the entries for Day 57 through Day 63 in the Temple Tool Kit. All the tools have been introduced to you now. Remember, only use them if God leads you to do so. If you have the freedom, try a new one this week. Don’t forget that the Thin Within app includes all the Sound Cloud files, YouTube videos, and the tools!
5. Memorize 1 Corinthians 6:12. Personalize it and add it to your truth cards.
One of the things I love about Barb Raveling’s book is how she helps us to see that boundaries are really what this is all about. Will we live according to the boundaries that God has so lovingly offered us? Or will we blow through our boundaries again and again? Do you need to take time to sit with the Lord and evaluate if 0 to 5 eating (between hunger and satisfaction) is something that you are convicted are from God for you? If you know that this is your primary boundary then creating secondary boundaries to help support you in your pursuit of honoring this godly boundary seems no where near so laborious. It becomes a joy to submit to the Lord in this way!
The ancient mariners used the stars as their guides. Alone on the dark sea, a bright star or blazing constellation told the sailors which way to steer. True North was never hard to find. And if they made a wrong turn, they knew it immediately based on the position of the stars and the boat.
In ThinWithin, however, we often feel as if we’re steering without starlight. Let me explain.
Since my days as a child, I learned how to make choices according to right and wrong. There was moral certainty. There were immediate consequences. If my mother told me not to put my hand on the hot stove, I knew what was expected of me. And if I disobeyed, I immediately felt the pain of my bad choice. I knew my mother was right because I felt pain when I disobeyed. If she told me not to steal a toy from my brother, and I did, I got immediate consequences. So choosing right or wrong was all about avoiding unpleasant consequences.
Now that I am trying to live within 0-5 eating guidelines, however, there is no immediate, obvious consequence for disobedience. If I eat past my Spirit-led boundaries, nothing seems to happen. I don’t feel pain. No one sends me to my room. Likewise, if I skip eating when I am at a 0, nothing seems to happen, either. There are no immediate, obvious, painful consequences.
However, a much more powerful force is already at work, unseen.
In Thin Within, we are learning to be led by the Spirit. We are learning to listen for God’s still, small voice. We aren’t making choices based on consequences….we’re making choices based on listening. And that can be so powerful, because in our adult lives, there are precious few choices that are clearly right or wrong. There is so much uncertainty and opportunity. We make daily, important choices about love, life, career, children…most of which cannot be neatly categorized as right or wrong. Many of our choices don’t even seem to have immediate consequences. But we need to listen if we are to live our best lives, because choices have a cumulative effect.
That is the second, sneaky principle at work….our choices are cumulative. One binge might not change our lives, but a week, a month, a year of binges? They have the power to destroy so much that we hold dear. One slip past 5 might not matter, but a habit of disobedience can steal much more than our peace. (and our God-given weight!)
That’s why I am willing to wrestle with my self-will on a daily basis. I may not feel pain if I eat outside of my boundaries; but I can’t make choices based on pain and consequences. I want to make choices based on what I hear: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21). I want to listen for the Lord, because He has such stormy waters to lead me through. He has places of beauty and rest ahead, too, and if I make my decisions based on what I feel, instead of what I hear, I might miss them.
And I don’t want to miss the best that God has for me. I don’t want you to miss the best God has for you, either!
What About You?
Are you tempted to “cheat” if you don’t sense any consequences ?
Do you feel pain of any kind if you disobey? Is it easy to ignore, or not?
If you train yourself to make decisions by listening to God’s leading, how would this impact your entire life?
I replaced the light bulbs in my bathroom this week. Two bulbs over my mirror had burned out long ago, and because of their height above the mirror, I postponed the replacement for months.
And then my husband informed me that a repairman was coming to replace our water heater. He would need access to our master bath to check his work. I immediately went to work cleaning up the bath, including replacing the lights with new, extra bright bulbs. When I hit the light switch, I saw my face in a new light, literally.
You know, the right light can change everything. It can change our priorities and choices. It can change our perceptions and immediate plans.
Let’s just say my tweezers saw some heavy action that afternoon.
This has been very similar to my experience with the boundary of 0-5 eating. It has been a bright light in my life, and what it is revealing has surprised me. Perhaps I am not who I thought I was.
Because weight loss wasn’t a major concern for me, I thought the 0-5 boundaries were a wonderful tool. Notice I said, “tool,” and not “boundary.” You use a tool when you need it. Tools are morally and spiritually neutral. They’re useful and wonderful but only occasionally necessary.
A boundary is a commitment that reflects a moral or spiritual truth. Boundaries also hint at which identity I have embraced, and what I have given authority in my life. To recognize 0-5 eating as a boundary moves its priority up in my life because it reflects what I believe to be true. 0-5 eating is not an occasional tool anymore; it’s part of my daily walk with God.
That means that my commitment to this boundary is a lifelong commitment. With diets, there is a goal and an end date. “I’m only going to lose a few pounds,” I might have said long ago. “Then this diet will be done.”
When we choose to recognize 0-5 eating as a God-honoring boundary, we’re committing for life. Weight loss is not the goal; submission is.
As I make daily eating choices based on the truth that God is my ultimate authority, I find His light growing stronger and brighter. I have found, much to my surprise, that not everything is really what I once thought. When faced with conflict in the past, I fought for what I wanted, and what I thought was right. Today, however, I recognize that submission to God’s leading is the quickest route to inner peace, and inner peace is more valuable to me than winning a fight. I can trust God to work things out in His own time, and my “assistance” is often not required.
Choosing 0-5 eating as a boundary has changed a lot of things for me and I have begun to realize I am capable of big changes. I can do new things, and in new ways. Submission and obedience are tough but tender teachers. I have found a peace I didn’t know was available. I’ve learned that my real strength comes from surrender. And that God can surprise us all at any moment in our journey, leading us somewhere bright and new.
What About You?
Do you think of 0-5 eating as a tool, or a boundary? Do you think there is a difference for you?
When you consider the words “surrender” and “submission,” what is your first reaction? Is it pleasant or negative?
If you lost all the weight today that you wanted to lose, would you still continue with the 0-5 eating guidelines? Why or why not?
