THIS IS TOO HARD (and Preventative Eating) Week 12

Image Source: iStock Photo

Image Source: iStock Photo

Have you been tempted to throw in the towel and just say FORGET IT to this entire boundaries/renewing the mind/losing weight/having a healthy relationship with food project?

It is totally normal to feel that way.

This is the 12th and final week of our Renewing the Mind Bible Study and the truth is…it IS hard to stick to your boundaries. If it wasn’t hard to stick to your boundaries, they probably wouldn’t be boundaries. Just think about it for a minute. If you don’t have any temptations to go into a certain store at the mall and spend up your credit card, you don’t need to have a boundary about that store (or the credit card)! If you don’t feel tempted to overeat shrimp scampi, you probably don’t have a boundary to give shrimp scampi a wide berth.

We establish boundaries because we know that we are likely to venture across a line or to welcome outside forces in that would influence us in a way that wouldn’t be best for us.

So, of course it is hard! We are training ourselves which implies that, left to our own devices, we would behave differently than we know we should.

Barb does a great job of exposing a lie that we want to RENEW OUR MINDS ABOUT. That lie is this:

Life should be easy.

Think about it for a minute. Do you have a feeling that you will only follow through if something is fun or easy? If you get tired of working at something, maybe you believe this lie that life should be easy. God never has promised us that life will be easy. In fact, if we read the Scriptures there is much there that speaks to us about being diligent, persevering, hanging in there. If life were meant to be easy, I don’t think these exhortations would be in Scripture!

Monday

1. It’s that time again! Evaluate your feeling about 0 to 5 eating. Has God called you to 0 to 5 eating? Are you convinced in your heart he has? If you have written this commitment in your journal previously, review the dates and entries when you were convinced that this was so. How about now? If you are convinced today, add a statement reflecting that conviction and date it with today’s date.

2. Visit Barb’s blog page on “Losing Weight is Hard.” Read her introductory material.

3. Complete the “Life Should Be Easy” bible study on the same page.

Tuesday

1.  Looking at yesterday’s bible study, what are some truths that you can add to your truth cards? Take some time to do this and renew your mind with truth!

2. Visit Barb’s blog page again at the same link. Please remember that Barb isn’t a Thin Within participant and don’t be put off by any “dieting” jargon that you see in her material. Complete her “Dieting is Hard” questions.

3. Are there any additional truths that you can add to your cards? If so, take some time to do so now.

Wednesday

1. Visit this page here at this blog. Take some time to read the introductory material and to watch the video on that page.

2. Can you list some situations that you have been in that are similar to what I describe? What upcoming situations might you face this week that fit this description?

3. What are some truths about situations like these that you can possibly renew your mind with?

Thursday

1. Visit this page again. Complete the “Preventative Eating Questions” on that page. (When asked in the questions about “now”, just insert in your mind a recent experience when you have done this…or if you are currently facing a situation where you are tempted to “preventative eat.”)

2. What are some of the possible solutions that God might want you to consider?  Are you willing to use any of his solutions? If not, why not?

3. If you are not willing to use any of God’s solutions right now, please take some time to review your thoughts from Monday, Question #1 where you evaluated your commitment and God’s leading to 0 to 5 eating. Following boundaries IS hard, but if we are unwilling in these moments to do what we can (work!) to do so, when do we really expect to be willing? If we only follow our boundaries when it feels good, how often will we follow them?

Friday

1. Visit the Preventative Eating page again and work through the Fear Bible Study.

2. If fear isn’t something that fuels your preventative eating, how about if you evaluate what IS? Then create a bible study to share with us here so we can all benefit! What other emotions might possibly fuel the desire to eat outside of 0 and 5 in anticipation of not being able to get near food?

3. What truths can you add to your truth cards today? Take a few minutes to add two or three.

What’s Next?

If you made it through this entire study, then you deserve extra KUDOS! We started strong, but many of us got swept away by the fun, freedom, and busyness of summer! In January, I will likely lead a Thin Within workbook study here at the blog. I will do so with a renewing of the mind focus. Start saving your $$ for the workbook packet (about $50 on Amazon) if you don’t own a set. More information to come later this fall, but for now, just know that I will continue to provide  support here at the blog (as I have been) with a study launching  the first week in January 2014!

Let’s press in to our Lord and not give up!

The Most Important Thing of All

Image Source: iStock Photo

Image Source: iStock Photo

Sometimes, with all the time, effort, and intensity that we put into Thin Within, it is hard to remember that the most important thing of all in our lives isn’t pursuing good health.

The most important thing of all isn’t eating within the parameters of physical hunger and satisfaction—even though, as we do this, we seek to surrender our hearts, lives, thinking, choices to God.

These are noble, important goals, but they are superseded by something that is The Most Important Thing of All.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,

who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,

but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

– Philippians 2:3-7 ESV

What was it that motivated Christ to act while on this earth? We see it many places in the Scriptures, but this sums it up:

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world,

so that we might live through him.

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

– 1 John 4:9-11 ESV

This has practical applications to our 0 to 5 eating. I want to share with you how by telling a story first. 🙂

I love getting up each morning and having my quiet time. This isn’t because I am godly (as that is quite debatable!). It is because I am desperate. The days I don’t start the day quiet with Him, I feel deflated and defeated. I am desperate for that time of being still, soaking in God’s presence. Since Monday of this week, I have been in the Chicago area with my 19 year old daughter, returning her to Wheaton College for the beginning of her sophomore year. Between jet lag, a busy schedule  with Michaela, and my inability to sleep away from home, I am tired!

Yesterday evening, I said goodbye to Michaela for the last time (I thought) as she starts class this morning (I am writing this Wednesday morning, but it is posting on Thursday). Last night, I planned today. My plane doesn’t leave until later in the afternoon, so first, I would sleep a bit later (assuming I could sleep). Then, I would relish a nice long leisurely time with the Lord. After making my plans last night, I got a text at 11pm from Michaela asking me to come back to see her at the school. I had a choice…to preserve my plans, including a longer time with the Lord? Or take the hour and a half to drive to the school, help my daughter with one last task before class starts, and then come back to the hotel for a shorter time?

I longed to just be still and know that God is God…to be refreshed in His presence. But I also knew that I couldn’t spend time in His presence without Him asking me “Have you loved well?” If I had chosen not to go back to help my daughter with one last task, I know  having my quiet time, no matter how valuable, would not have honored Him. In this situation, having my quiet time at that moment, would have dishonored Him as He has called me to love well. I knew in my heart of hearts that He wanted me to help her one more time. (Besides, I wanted one more hug or two!)

This serves as a reminder  to me that nothing is more important to God than love. I want to be sure that I  love others well — even above insisting on having a quiet time or eating 0 to 5 if there is a conflict.

Sometimes, I elevate having a quiet time or even eating 0 to 5 above The Most Important Thing of All—loving others. God wants to cure me of this legalism.

I don’t think God will often put us in the position of having to choose between loving others and obeying him with regard to our eating boundaries. It’s important to be aware that the human heart is deceitful and will rationalize and justify breaking our boundaries using “loving others” as an excuse. Please don’t let what I am saying here today be fuel for that lie.

The truth is, God wants us to delight in living within our boundaries. But every “rare once in a while,” a dear friend will work hard in her kitchen to bring warm brownies over when she comes for a scheduled visit. The fact that I just finished my lunch before she came and am not at a 0 yet, might need to be set aside for the greater, the Most Important Thing of All… loveI may need to have a small brownie to love my friend well–-even if I am at a 5 already.

I believe that in instances like these, asking the Lord to give His wisdom, we will experience a confidence as to what will be the right thing to do. We can know that, generally speaking, there is nothing godly or honorable about eating outside physical need, but the Most Important Thing of All is beyond that. When faced with a decision between loving well and adhering to my 0 to 5 eating boundary, I want to do both. If I can’t do both, I want to PRAY first with a surrendered heart. Am I WILLING not to eat at this moment if God were to make it clear that THIS was His will? If I can honestly answer that question “yes,” then I may be in the best position to know that right now, loving well means honoring God in some way outside of 0 and 5.

Again, these instances are extremely rare, thankfully. But we don’t want 0 and 5 to become our functional Messiah. It can’t save us. Only Jesus can. And he loves people. We want to learn greater dependence on the Lord, to ask Him for His leading. To respond to His direction.

The Most Important Thing of All is not 0 and 5.

It isn’t a thin body.

It isn’t mastery over food.

It isn’t consistently eating only when hungry.

The Most Important Thing of All is to love God and love others.

How About You?

Can you think of any situations when you had to choose between maintaining your 0 and 5 boundaries and loving others well? What did you do? Looking back at it now, is there something you could have/should have done differently? What will you do the next time this type of situation presents itself?

Three Things to Do When You Mess Up…

Image Courtesy of iStockPhoto

Image Courtesy of iStockPhoto

A day in the life…

The day begins with hot tea and the warmth of a personal encounter with Jesus. Blessings and truth gush like a fountain off the pages of the Bible and saturate your heart as you are in awe of how intimate and personal His presence is to you. You have carved out this time first thing in the morning and it is richly rewarding!

In fact, you don’t think about food until a gnawing sensation in your stomach overcomes all other thoughts. Wow! I haven’t eaten since last night’s dinner! I am at a zero! Your quiet time was so satisfying and fulfilling and your heart so satiated with the goodness of God that it wasn’t until you were truly hungry that you gave a thought to breakfast. You thankfully relish a modest portion of a thoroughly satisfying meal.

As the day continues, you are prayerful, joy-filled, aware that Jesus walks with you.

Lunch is another “I-can’t-believe-I-am-actually-hungry” eating experience as you enjoy a lunch out with a favorite co-worker. You readily stop eating when you are no longer hungry. This is what it is like to “whether you eat or drink, do it all to the glory of God” as spoken of in 1 Corinthians 10:31!

Upon returning from lunch, however, demanding clients and a disgruntled boss cause the afternoon to lose it’s luster somewhat.  By  day’s end, the warm glow of the morning’s embers has been pretty well snuffed out. Tired, you saunter to your car considering the late afternoon commute. Your heart falls–overwhelmed–at what you know waits for you at home. Barring a miracle, the kids will be squabbling and messes will be everywhere. By the time you emerge through the thick traffic–made worse by a fender-bender in the slow lane–you are famished…you deserve some joy in your life. You enter the house and, sure enough, no one else thought to clean up the sink which now demands attention before you can even think about dinner preparation. Why is this always left to me?

You plug in the electric skillet with ingredients of what will not-soon-enough be a delicious meal and, as you reach for the cumin in the cupboard, the chocolate chips sitting right next to the spice rack grab you by the arm and threaten that you had better eat them! Ha! Not really, but you would think so! Before you give it any thought, let alone a prayer, you dive in. You finish your dinner preparation as you continue to revisit the bag of chocolate chips and by the time dinner is ready, you have inhaled enough chocolate chips to populate two batches of cookies. You aren’t hungry for dinner but feel the need to eat to “balance your blood sugar” since you know you will crash and burn later when you do get hungry after eating so much sugar. Besides, you don’t want the family to ask why you aren’t eating. That would be even worse than having eaten the chocolate chips!

By the time you go to bed, you are miserable…not just from having overeaten, but from the overwhelming sense of “failure.” Why can’t I ever have ONE good day of eating 0 to 5 all day long? The club of condemnation comes out and you start beating yourself up.

Can you relate to this scenario or one sort of like it? Are you frustrated that you can begin the day so well, but by the day’s end you have steamrollered right over your 0 to 5 eating boundaries?

What can you do when this happens?

In my personal experience and through the one-on-one coaching I have been doing for the past few months, I have seen this scenario or one like it play out numerous times. What we choose to do with our “failure” determines how “successful” we will be with our Thin Within program and the release of weight we hope to experience.

It isn’t the slip up that will keep us from releasing weight–not usually. It is allowing a mis-step to define what the next meal will be like, what the next hour will look like, what the next day, week, and month will look like.

This is why we have to, have to, have to be willing to go from merely “observing” (and condemning) our behavior to planning a correction immediately. That way, the next time–and there WILL be a next time–we will have a plan of action to ensure success! We can take the proverbial bull by the horns and bring him down!

What do I mean by observation and correction? For those of you new or not yet experienced with the Thin Within book or workbook, this is a tool we use to help us see where we strayed from behavior and thoughts that didn’t correspond or support our godly goals. This is the “easy” part. It is the part that says, “I ate all those chocolate chips and then ate dinner when I wasn’t hungry and now I am stuffed!” In Thin Within, though, we try to observe dispassionately. We  look at what happened and declare what action or thought was the culprit that derailed our godly intentions. We don’t judge. We don’t pull out the club of condemnation. This is the FIRST thing we do. You can add more power to this step by confessing it to the Lord in prayer.

Secondly, we want to plan a “correction”–what will we do differently the next time we are in the exact–or similar–situation? This is, simply, repentance. Choosing and planning a new behavior for the next time this situation arises. In our example, I would want to make a plan for when I am tired, frustrated, famished, and get little (if any) help at home after a long day. What could I *do* to change things around so that once I land at home the chocolate chips don’t assault me out of the blue? One suggestion for the woman in our example is that she could use her CD/mp3 player for the drive home to refocus her thoughts so that the commute time is spent renewing her mind about the rest of the day. Praise music can make a huge difference! Alternatively, downloading and using the audio files that I have made available to you might be helpful for the stressful commute. You can download the bible as mp3 or iTunes files, too! The journey home from work (or wherever) can actually become a sanctified “Holy of Holies” of sorts–land that you capture for the Lord. And if, when you do finally get home, you are famished you can have a prepared-in-advance baggie with a small snack designed for just such an occasion–to shave the 0 off just a tad. Like three Ritz crackers or one Oreo cookie–enough to get you through the dinner preparation without inhaling the chocolate chips!

Third thing you want to do after you have messed up is REJOICE! What? Did she actually say “Rejoice!”? Yes! You see, you are sensitive to the Lord and to the boundaries he has asked you to live within. That is why you have an awareness of the situation as a “Mess Up!” It means that you are tender-hearted. You haven’t become calloused to sin or to living outside of boundaries. It is a wonderful thing to realize! So, thank the Lord that he has given you a heart to obey him and that while you aren’t doing it “perfectly,” you are growing in godliness with each day. THIS time is different than any that may have come before as you are learning to do the struggle well.

Bringing it home:

Step 1: ObservationConsider the last 3 “mess ups” you have experienced. What did you think or do that worked against your godly goals?

Step 2: Correction. What will you do to structure life for success so that the next time you are in a similar situation you maintain your commitment to your boundaries?

Step 3: REJOICE! Can you thank God right now that he has given you a heart tender to him? You are here reading about this, aren’t you? That says a lot! LOL! 😀

Share your three steps below for one of your “Mess Ups.” You might give others that read your ideas some strategies for dealing with their own struggles! Let’s win some for the LORD!

4 Places to Avoid “Yummy Food” Eating and the Breaking of Your Boundaries

Photo Courtesy of iStockPhoto

Photo Courtesy of iStockPhoto

“Yummy Food” or “Good Food” eating is what we do when the food happens  to be available and we just happen  to decide to eat it. Can you relate? It is typically, a grab-and-go sort of experience…not at all a thoughtful one!

For instance, you are making dinner and simply must taste the goods as you do so. A taste here, a taste there and you discover when all is ready that you are not  hungry for dinner when it is time to sit down with the family! BOO!

One solution to this sort of “Yummy Food Eating” is to chew gum while you are cooking/preparing food. It is typically a bit off-putting to taste something else while the gum is in your mouth! At the very least, it can help you to realize that you are being more intentional about the tasting than you thought. When I discover that my “accidental” bites aren’t quite so “accidental,” I know it is time to pray for a willing heart and renew my mind about my boundaries!

Another example of a “Yummy Food Eating” temptation is Costco and Sam’s club (or other membership club). Food samples that are out everywhere no matter which time of the day you choose to shop there. This may sound silly, but if you know you love the samples, you can actually plan to be hungry during your shopping trip at Sam’s or Costco. That way, you can enjoy the samples (though you might be “breaking” your secondary boundaries, so I recommend being intentional about focusing on the food since you will likely NOT be sitting down!) and it won’t break your boundaries. It can actually be your meal! If you end up not hungry and find yourself at one of those stores, then I recommend chewing gum as you shop, too. Again, it isn’t likely you will “accidentally” eat the samples if you are chewing gum.

A third place we may give in to “Yummy Food Eating” is at bible studies or fellowship groups. Again, you can plan your hunger (remember, this takes practice, so extend grace to yourself as you work on this!) or establish a secondary boundary, such as staying out of the kitchen. Again, if those options don’t work for you, chewing sugarless gum can.

It may sound like I chew a lot of gum! To be honest, I hate chewing gum, and you may as well. It is worth it while we are training ourselves to be more aware, though. It IS temporary! You won’t feel like you always have to do this. But for now, as you are realizing the moments of your life when you unconsciously may have had tastes of food that resulted in a “mess up,” it may do the trick.

Some of you work in an office where snacks and temptations abound literally all day long. You can “strike early” by taking samples of the foods in the office staff room and putting them in your own container in the fridge. Then you can have them when you are hungry! You can enjoy the items that other people brought without breaking your boundaries.

Plan ahead. Think through the day. Are there any potential opportunities for “Yummy Food Eating” to come calling? What will you do to prepare for it?

———-

CONTEST WINNER: I will make that announcement later tonight. I hope you will check back!

Day 2 of the “Ditch Your Scale” Challenge: How is it going? Did you stay off the scale today? Did you need to renew your mind about it at all? Are you off to a good start today? What thoughts have you had about this as you have given this to the Lord? 🙂

Lessons Learned From the Brambles

By 9:30 a.m., I had weed whacked the entire dog yard. My shoulders and back were stiffening up. The temperature had climbed into the 90s. The last thing I wanted to do was go back out into the heat mid-day and attack the blackberry bush(es).

But what I wanted less was to go another day with them continuing to grow and spread.

When my daughter and I had a falling out, I found myself hurt and angry more than just a bit. Suddenly, I had a lot of angry energy and the adrenaline surged into my aching muscles…I didn’t feel any pain. I plugged my iPod into my ears (nothing but worshipful music wafting into my head) and began my work.

As I began on the perimeter of the briar patch, God’s Spirit went to work on my heart. It was like with each rotation of the nylon string at the end of my “weapon” slicing out against the plant infestation, God’s Spirit sliced at my resolve. I could hear the Holy One…”Child…isn’t this like what *you* allow in your life? The seduction of the ‘sweet,’ the prideful way you are enamoured and choose to believe that ‘this won’t affect’ you? You thought that the ‘little blackberry bush’ would produce sweet fruit and not demand so much of you in return…didn’t you? And now it owns your yard. It rules, doesn’t it? Who would have thought?”

God showed me that I had made little compromises–even when it came to the anger I was allowing in my life right then. But so often, something appears (like the ‘little blackberry plant’) to offer promise of a reward of some kind. Maybe instant gratification. Maybe yet in the future. With this promise there is a minimization as to the consequences or cost. Who would have thought that the “harmless” little desire for sweet fruit (no less!) would result in a bramble that would take over the yard!

The Spirit revealed to me that occasionally I would even assault these little compromises in my life–conviction that things were getting “out of control” would cause me to come at it with my spiritual “weed whacker.”

Without really rooting it out, without digging down deeply, like with the blackberries, all I was really doing was a temporary fix. If I leave my blackberry mess down there on my hillside without a follow up…without more done to prevent its regrowth, chances are all I have really done is provide MORE of what is needed for MORE proliferation of the plant in my yard.

Last November (for instance) during a retreat for 3 days where time alone with God showed me things I needed to root out of my life with an overly full schedule, I didn’t apply follow up treatments. I provided, in essence, “short-term canopy reduction.” Yes, the appearance is that of “Well, that has been taken care of!” But the truth is, for blackberries and sin, assaulting it this way…”In many cases…stimulates the formation of suckers from lateral roots and induces branching.” The result is, in time, MORE of the same!

This reminds me of Hebrews 12:15:

See to it that no one misses the grace of God
and that no bitter root grows up
to cause trouble and defile many.

My plan now for the blackberry brambles is NOT to rest on my so-called laurels and assume that I have taken care of it. In fact, I assume that I have only provided the way for it to thrive! I will *follow* UP the work done yesterday. I will rake the pieces, I will spray (ugh) anything that yet remains in the ground…and, hopefully, when we have a California Department of Forestry declared day for burning, have my burn permit in place and burn whatever is left.

If this bramble wasn’t on our leech field I *would* rototill as well…but I can’t do that. This blackberry bush (if it had a brain) was very clever about where it settled…I can’t rototill it without affecting the leech field which also probably gives this blackberry the moisture it needs to thrive. It is protected there in some ways. Just like sin sets up residence in subtle ways…insidious yes, but sometimes protected or even cherished and nurtured in a corner of our lives. From that place of protection it appears harmless enough…and before you know it, it has taken over the entire life.

The lessons in the brambles showed me that I need to approach sin in my life with a same aggressive multi-facted approach. I must not just assault it head on, but I must follow up…like saturating any remnant with herbicide, I must saturate my life with God’s Word. With the blackberries NOTHING will be given sympathy and allowed to remain. Likewise, I must not allow one single solitary shred of sin to remain. It must be destroyed.

A part of me feels badly for the quail who have nested under the protection of the brambles in the past. Their thicket is gone. But I must not allow this “false compassion” to lure me to compromise. It MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO GO ON.

Like the blackberry bush(es) took over the yard intended for something else, so too will sin not “behave” and stay in the place I hope it will…it will also send out shooter roots and suckers and branches…and it will take over if I allow it.

Song of Solomon 2:15 says:

Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes that ruin the vineyards,
our vineyards that are in bloom.

It is the little foxes, the little compromises that spoil the garden of God in our lives. Let us refuse to allow these “little compromises.” No matter what they promise…sweet fruit that is “good for you,” or even something more, I will choose to be mindful that I must remain wholly devoted to God and His purposes in my lives.