No matter what the motivation behind or purpose for it, a get-away is a good idea! One get-awayer might be wanting to simply get away from the routine and cares of daily life and have a change of pace. Another wants to get away to visit or do something fun, exciting, and different. And yet another wants a get-away where they just relax and do absolutely nothing.
But additionally, and sadly for me, “vacation” has been synonymous with “license to EAT everything I want”! I have basically deemed vacation a time to vacate my food boundaries, toss all reason and restraint to the wind, and indulge my taste-buds in whatever sights my eyes might behold. Bad idea!
But my days of wayward appetite indulging have been getting challenged and are drawing near to their end. I had been participating in Heidi Bylsma’s Thin Within Coaching group for a couple of months prior to our trip, and it was clear that my old appetite regarding vacation feasting would not be getting to accompany me this trip. Actually it just needed to be killed and buried forever.
So I had determined in my heart and mind that our most recent vacation would be different. I was not going to be focused on FOOD, but rather on having fun with Dave, doing the various outings we had planned (which included some “rising above” experiences ~ like ziplining through a mall 115 feet up and going on a helicopter ride), bubble baths with Dave, and just relaxing in our room.
And, even though it was hard on my flesh ~ which just wants to eat whatever it wants whenever it wants ~ the Lord helped me rise above the temptation to eat when I wasn’t hungry.
For most of our time there, I was both “doing” and “being” very well with my eating, meaning I had surrendered my self indulgent heart to the Lord and was not allowing our trip to be about food. This alone was fun! A new experience for me, which, on one hand, I’m embarrassed and sad to say, but on the other, “better late than never,” right?
But there were a couple of days while there that I was struggling to keep afloat. It took me a while, but I finally realized at least one of the reasons…
Several “concerns of life” had piled up.
Kind of like on a freeway when one car rams into another, and then the car behind that one rams in to the first two, and then the next car back crashes into those, and so on… until there’s a huge pile-up!!!!!! (I do realize that the photo above is of toy cars on a village map carpet. There were actually plenty of real-life photos of car pile-ups, but in case any of you have been in a traumatic car accident, I thought the toy car pile-up would be less traumatic. 🙂 However, when I showed this photo to my little 2-year-old grandpunkin, Henry, his eyes popped as he said “UH-OH!!!” So he “got it”! 🙂 )
There were quite a few concerns that I had allowed to pile up. I don’t need to get specific as to what those were as it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we all have our own pile-ups of concerns, and I had not been dealing with mine.
A more “natural” way to put it is that my emotions had gotten “constipated.”
This was because I was not taking my “concerns” to the Lord. Nor was I even recognizing things were piling up that I needed to take to Him! I was just kind of unconsciously stewing and mulling over several different things that had stealthily snuck their way in to my subconscious. I was unknowingly letting random thoughts and feelings churn around in my mind and heart, which naturally clouded and clogged up my emotional state.
(By the way, my time with Dave was absolutely wonderful, so these concerns had nothing to do with him, but were going on “elsewhere” in my life.)
But then I “came to” and became aware of what was happening, and realized that I needed the Lord to pull me out of the quicksand.
BURDEN EMPTYING
The Lord actually brought a few things came to my rescue!
First, I came across a sweet but powerful little video in the larger Thin Within Discussion and Support group on Facebook. It was by Asheritah Ciuciu, a very sweet, Jesus-loving gal who has done lots of short encouraging videos like this one here. This particular video was about quieting our minds and emptying our burdens before the Lord, and receiving what He has for us in exchange. She has you hold your hands down and empty out everything you can think of ~ one by one ~ that’s weighing on you; just dump it all before the Lord. Then turn your empty hands upward and open them to the Lord to receive whatever He wants to give you.
(I was originally able to watch this video in the above-mentioned Thin Within Discussion and Support group, however Asheritah has since changed the way her videos are viewed, and it can be viewed only from inside her “MyOneThingAlone” community where monthly membership is available. You can learn more at www.myonethingalone.com.)
It’s just a very simple tool, but because I’m very visual and hands-on, it was really helpful to me. Right there in the hotel room! (Dave was gone, so I had this time to myself.) And it gave me a hand-on way (literally) to UNconstipate ~ or unclog ~ my pile-up of burdens!!!
It’s actually a very practical way to “take every thought captive,” and then DO something with them!
GOD SPEAKS TO ME
Through Heidi’s book. By the same name. 🙂 The Lord knows I need reminders and reinforcing, so to add to, clarify, and confirm the above hands-down and hands-up exercise, along came some gems on Days 23 and 24 in Heidi’s book, God Speaks to Me!!!!!!
DISCERNMENT
On Day 23, Heidi talks about being able to “discern what is best.” It dawned on me that I have never thought of “discernment” as being something to use in the area of eating. Like I hadn’t thought of it as discerning when I’m at a 0 or a 5, or as discerning what kind of food I’m hungry for or that would be helpful to me right now.
I thought of “discernment” as a “spiritual” tool used in a counseling or prayer setting. “Common sense” is what I have called what I use to determine my food issues. So I was kind of separating my eating from the “spiritual” realm. But in reality, it’s all “spiritual”!!! And I needed to integrate the two worlds!
So I asked the Lord for discernment in this matter of eating, and then also for self-control to accompany and activate that discernment!
COMING FULL CIRCLE
Then on Day 24 of the same book, God Speaks to Me, Heidi leads us to hear the Lord asking us to “draw near to Him, to come close, to eat what will satisfy, to rest in His presence and cease carrying my heavy burden.” Aaah! The whole “heavy burden” thing again! This delightfully brought me full-circle back to Asheritah’s video with her little tool for how to lay down our burdens! Not that you couldn’t do it on your own without her little tool! I just like her “visual” for doing this.
I want to add that a “heavy burden” is not necessarily just ONE big burden. It can certainly be that, like dealing with cancer, marital infidelity, unemployment, an extended illness or death of a loved one, just to name a few biggies. (Or “heavy-ies”?) But it can also be many smaller things. Imagine a wheelbarrow packed full of many weeds, dirt chunks, and rocks from around the yard. Each one is not heavy in itself, but it all adds up. Lots of little things all piled up – and not handed over to the Lord – create one… big… heavy… burden.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matt.11:28-29)
Does your appetite need to have its “license” revoked? Does it need to be sent on a permanent vacation ~ away from being in charge of you? Or if it’s extra tenacious, willful, and wayward like mine, it just needs to be put to death. Of course, appetites don’t usually die a quick, easy death. But you can surrender it, and ask and allow the Lord to help you get victory over it, which He does by transforming our minds and our hearts!
The Thin Within groups are an excellent way to get very practical, loving, grace-based and wisdom-filled help and companionship on this arduous journey! Really good idea!!!
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About those burdens… Because of how deeply they affect us as well as how we live and respond to Life, I want to look more closely at those! All burdens are not “happenings.” Some stem from other sources, like wrong thinking, or heart issues that have us spiritually constipated. So how did they develop? What did they come from? How can we recognize them? And then how can we deal with them in practical ways? More on that in my next blog post!
One of the biggest concerns I hear from those starting out on their Thin Within journey is about eating treats and sweets. It’s like there is this fear that to eat them, and that if they do eat them, they are going to indulge so much and gain weight. There is such a deep diet mentality that has taught them that eating sweets and treats is BAD. And isn’t that what diets teach us? That treats and sweets are evil temptations that have to be held at bay or they will ruin us? I really think this is a common fear when you are stepping out of the diet realm and into a journey toward freedom from the control of food.
I can understand this fear. When I first started my Thin Within journey, I was so fearful of eating carbs and sugar. I had believed a lie that they would literally kill me. It was the first thing I had to renew my mind about and seek God’s truth about. You can read about that in my testimony: CHANGED. And I praise God, because He has changed me in that area and I no longer fear eating tasty treats and sweets. I know I am free to enjoy those foods within hunger and satisfaction.
So I wanted to take some time to review some of what Thin Within talks about when it comes to our food choices. I believe our food choices are based on individual needs. No body is the same and it takes time to learn what is desirable and what isn’t beneficial individually.
In Thin Within, there are food categories called “pleasers”, “teasers”, “total rejects”, and “whole-body pleasers”. These categories help us determine our food choices. The description of these are found in the original Thin Within book for Day Eighteen. Here is a quick summary of them:
Pleasers: these foods bring physical satisfaction, they are very specific (you may even have to go to a restaurant to enjoy them), they can change from day to day.
Teasers: these foods are convenient, “tempting”, they look better than they taste, not very satisfying, wasn’t on your mind until your senses were “teased”.
Total Rejects: these foods are (for you) too sweet, too salty, too fatty, artificially flavored, don’t even taste good, don’t make you feel good.
Whole-Body Pleasers: these foods make you feel good overall, foods your body calls out for, they are enjoyable while you eat them, and they leave you feeling energized.
Everyone will have different foods that fit into these different categories. No one will have the same list for the same category. As you go about your Thin Within journey, you will learn about what foods fit in these categories, but you still have the freedom to eat them. If you have an intolerance or allergy to any type of food, you will learn to understand there is sweet freedom in choosing not to eat those foods. Your whole perspective on food changes as you go through this journey.
I used to be afraid that even though I have found freedom to enjoy all foods that at some point God was going to pull a switch and take away that freedom. But the Lord has shown me that He won’t take my freedom away; instead, He has helped me discern what foods fit into those categories. Praise God!
Personally, I enjoy a small serving of ice cream almost every afternoon. I have a favorite brand (or two). Personally, these brands of ice cream are delicious and very satisfying. One time we had a different brand of ice cream, which I ate one afternoon, and it gave me such a weird sugar high. I realized, then, that not all ice cream is equal (which sounds funny to say). I chose not to eat anymore of that particular ice cream and now I stick with my favorites. So can I enjoy eating ice cream? Yes. Has God given me freedom to eat it? Yes. And now I make sure I choose the kinds of ice cream that are delicious and satisfying.
Have I gone through periods of time where I didn’t feel “free” to have ice cream in our freezer? Yes, maybe a couple of times. And it was for a very short season and reason. It was something between me and the Lord. And you may have those seasons as well, and you may not. Everyone has their own, individual journey; that’s why it’s important not to compare or scrutinize someone else’s food choices. There are no BAD or GOOD foods listed here or in any of the Thin Within material. You are free to choose. Praise God!
During my 3rd pregnancy, I discovered that certain foods would give me horrible indigestion and just didn’t leave me feeling good. Normally, these foods are very satisfying. I realized that I had the freedom to choose to abstain from these foods for the remainder of my pregnancy. It was just for a season.
Last year, I touched on this subject in a post I entitled It’s Not About the Food. I encourage you to check it out.
So the question stands: can you enjoy sweets and treats? YES! And can you enjoy them without guilt? YES! God has given you the freedom to enjoy them along with ALL other foods. Consider your preferences. Ask Him for discernment. But do not attach food laws or rules. You are FREE to choose! (Romans 14)
Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For EVERY creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving; for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. 1 Timothy 4:1-5
I cannot conclude without mentioning this important point: the more you connect any food with being “bad”, the more deprived you will feel and the more that food will tempt you to indulge and overeat. So if you legalize the food in the beginning (Phase One: Freedom Phase), it won’t matter if you have a gazillion of those things in your fridge, freezer, or cupboard–because you will know you have the freedom to enjoy those foods within hunger and satisfaction. But as soon as you start to label foods “good” and “bad”, you are on a slippery slope. I know this from experience. And this is a very common occurrence for those who are seeking freedom from the control of food.
So you are free to enjoy ALL foods! Even sweets and treats! The Lord will guide you in this! Ask Him for help and discernment! He will show you His kind of freedom for you in your journey. God is SO faithful! Oh…and you can enjoy ALL foods within hunger and satisfaction AND release weight! Isn’t that wonderful news! Praise God!
Be encouraged!
Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1
I now—praise God—believe that all foods are permissible. And I have left dieting behind me. But here’s the rub for me – all foods are definitely not beneficial for me. For health reasons, I do have to exclude all foods that contain gluten from my eating.
About 5 years ago, I experienced several health issues and I was so relieved, after a year of misdiagnosis, when I was finally diagnosed with gluten sensitivity. In fact, I was happy to be told not to eat food with gluten. You see, this diagnosis occurred before I was freed from the diet mentality. So, I thought when I eliminated foods with gluten (bread, crackers, pastries, packaged foods, cookies) that my extra pounds would just melt away. I did experience resolution (slowly but surely) of all of my other health issues, but I was so disappointed that the weight (gained during this time of health issues) did not disappear. But the Lord met me in this place of despair and fatigue and freed me from so many strongholds. But, that’s another story for another day.
Now that I have been delivered from diets and am free to eat all foods, I have experienced frustration because I can’t really eat all foods. I have experienced the following thoughts:
“Well, since I can’t eat the __________ (bread, sandwich, cake, brownie), then I will eat the _________(ice cream even if I’m not at 0, gluten free sweet even if I’m at 5).”
“This isn’t fair.”
“I’m not really getting what I want to eat.”
“I don’t get to be satisfied by what I really want.”
“Everyone else is eating all of the meal and I can’t” or “They have the delicious bread and I have the mediocre GF bread.”
As you can see, many of my thoughts were about fairness. Well, as our parents told us, “Life isn’t always fair.” And if life were fair, the sinner that I am would be condemned to an unsaved life/death. But, unfair as it was, Jesus took on my sin and I am now offered the abundant life.
So, now I try to focus on the truth that I am actually allowed to eat all foods, but I choose not to eat the ones that aren’t beneficial to my body. Eating gluten-free is not a diet at all. It is a choice. I choose to treat this temple of the Holy Spirit well and choose to decline foods that will make it not work well.
I rarely whine about the foods that I “can’t” eat and I simply make substitutions. It is just food, after all, and there is a bounty of delicious foods available to me that don’t harm my body.
So, if you have food restrictions for medical reasons and wonder if the Thin Within approach is feasible for you, it is! You can have freedom! Be grateful for all of the choices you can make and the wide variety of “allowable” foods. I certainly had more restrictions when I was on a diet!
~ Carrie (Not South Africa)
How About You?
Are there some foods that you know your body doesn’t tolerate well? Are there even categories of foods, like those that include gluten, that your body does best without? What if you were to make a list today of all the many foods you can enjoy that are whole-body pleasers for you—foods that you enjoy and that leave you feeling energized, without any negative side-effects? Might it be worth it to make some adjustments to your food selections today, given all the many options that remain?
Do you remember those ads on TV that showed Frosted Flakes (or Sugar Puffs or something like that) with toast, eggs, orange juice, etc? The cereal was featured as “part of a nutritious breakfast.” Those commercials always espoused the value of a big breakfast!
“Dieting Wisdom” has told us that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Dieters have advocated NEVER skipping breakfast—even if you aren’t hungry in the morning.
Breakfast IS indeed the most important meal of the day. But not for the reasons that we have been told! “Breakfast” is merely breaking our fast…it is eating after not eating for a long enough time to be hungry. It might be 1pm in the afternoon! That’s ok. The thing that you might want to consider. though, no matter what time you get hungry in the morning—that it is your first opportunity to set the tone for the day and to fuel your body well. What will you choose to eat to give you energy?
In Thin Within, we have freedom to select whatever we choose!
But if you are like most people, you may discover that what delights your palate, may not sustain your body well. You might feel “icky” with any number of yummy food choices you might select for breakfast. What is the very first thing you will put in your mouth to fuel your body? What will energize you? What will make you feel good?
I learned long ago that the foods I might like the most—typically really sweet foods, like fresh cinnamon rolls—while yummy for breakfast end up making me a bit of a mess for the rest of the day. Pancakes, donuts, muffins all do this to me. I find that something really high in sugar without protein isn’t a whole body pleaser for me. Truthfully, when I have a taste bud teaser for breakfast, I end up typically having trouble with my hunger signals for the rest of the day!
Then, sometimes, whatever-it-is just sits in my stomach. My mind plays tricks on me that I need to eat something in addition to what I just ate so I will feel better! Bring on the protein! Wait…in addition to what I already ate? Even if I am not hungry? Even if I am not feeling well? Yup. Silly, huh?
Do you find breakfast (breaking fast) with certain foods affects you this way, too?
You may want to do an experiment. Try evaluating what you enjoy having for your first meal of the day when you are at a 0 every day for 5 days. Observe how what you choose causes you to feel (coffee beverages count, too!)—both soon after you have had it and also later in the morning as you approach what you feel is your next hunger signal. You might want to experiment with different foods and even jot notes to help you make any observations that might be helpful. Notice how long different foods hold you until the next hunger and then how the next hunger feels as it approaches.
If you have been involved with Thin Within for any length of time and you haven’t explored phase 2—that of exercising more discernment about your food choices—maybe it is time. You might be surprised that it can be the key to opening a door to victory! I have found that what I pick for my first meal of the day can even make a difference in how moody I will be for the entire day.
Let’s consider looking to the most satisfying “thing” of all first thing in the morning. What might that look like for you?
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
– Psalm 90:14
How About You?
What foods are you most likely to break fast with? Does this seem to be working well for you?
Prayerfully consider if you might experience more success by selecting more beneficial foods—ones that you enjoy, of course!
This week we have had the opportunity to look at the freedom we are invited to experience in setting aside dieting rules, dieting laws, dieting “Good Foods” and “Bad Foods” lists and dare to trust the God who created our bodies fearfully and wonderfully.
Is Psalm 139 beginning to take root in your heart? Do you believe you are fearfully and wonderfully made?
In the material we studied this week, what resonated for you? If you aren’t doing the book or your book hasn’t arrived yet, share what rang true for you or was impressed upon you here at the blog or in the comments. So much wonderful discussion has been going on! I would love to hear from you about it!
Have you been a “die hard” dieter in the past?
Are your dieting thoughts affecting you even now as you try to set them aside?
Do you have an accountability partner yet? If you go to the Accountability page here at the website, post your information and if you see someone you might like to connect with in email, please send me an email. Please don’t post to me in the comments on that page, as I probably won’t see it in a timely manner. Shoot me an email instead.
Turn to page 36 and have a look at the HEAL pyramid. You will refer to that during this video. If you don’t have the book, I think you will be able to visualize the pyramid just fine as I describe it. You will want to have your book or a journal to write down responses to the questions as we go through.
FOUNDATION – Relationship with God. When you get to the spot in the video, turn off the video, pray, then write down what God is leading you to establish as a goal for this level of the HEAL pyramid. What goal will you have for your relationship with God? We would love to hear in the comments, too. What action steps will enable you to realize your goal?
Second Level – Relationship with FOOD. Again, when you get to the spot in the video, stop, pray, and then write down what God is leading you to establish as a goal for your relationship with food. What action steps will enable you to realize your goal?
Third Level – Hunger/Fullness Eating. In the video, I indicate when to stop. Then pray and jot down what God wants for you in this area of your life. What action steps (or perhaps secondary boundaries) will enable you to achieve this goal?
Tip top level – Beneficial Food Choices. I urge you to approach this category with caution. If you have a history of obsession with dieting, it may not be time for you to establish a goal for this area. You want to learn to trust the Lord that you can eat anything between the parameters of 0 and 5 or hunger and satisfaction.
I hope that you have experienced God’s personal leading as you have established your goals in each of the areas of the HEAL pyramid. Please feel free to allow God to lead you to adjust these as we continue.
I would love to hear what your goals are! Let us know in the comments which area of the HEAL pyramid and what your goal is. If you like, share your action steps, too. In fact, you could use this for your accountability with your partner, too, if you like.
