Imagine a pile of gifts under the Christmas tree. Actually, no need to imagine; here’s the exact scenario I’m talking about…
Now imagine that one of the gifts has this message on the tag: “Do not open until December 25!” (See further down.)
Of course, even if that message is not stated right on the tag, the expectation is still there that it is not to be opened until “the appointed time,” be that Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, or whenever your family chooses to open gifts.
So let’s say it’s a week before Christmas and I spot a gift with a tag that says “To Barb from Dave.” I grab it, shake it a little, say “THANK YOU, Dave!” and start tearing off the wrapping paper.
Dave says “What are you DOING?!?!?!? You can’t open that!”
I say “What do you mean?? It says right here that it’s from you to ME!”
Dave answers “But it’s only December 18th! It’s not time to open presents yet!”
Reluctantly I put it back… to wait for December 25 to get here.
So let’s take a closer look at what I was really doing…
Was I thankful? Indeed I was! Wasn’t that enough? Nope! I was thanking Dave for a gift that, while it had been bought and even wrapped for me, and was going to be mine eventually, it was not yet the appointed time for me to receive and open it. I was starting to open something that had not actually been given to me yet.
The Lord showed me that this is what’s actually taking place when I give thanks for food I want – and even start – to eat, but I am not yet at a zero.
Yes, the food was chosen for me (perhaps by me) and it’s intended for me, but the Giver is not yet giving it to me because it is not yet time.
So I really don’t have any business thanking God for it until it is actually “the appointed time” for me to eat. Which is when I’m actually hungry!
If I sit down at the table and start to say “Thank You Lord for this meal,” no matter how appreciative I am, it’s not going to change the fact that I should not actually be thanking God for it when he has not actually given it to me – YET.
“The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy desires of every living thing.“ (Psalm 145:15–16)
He gives us our food “at the proper time.” I looked up proper, and one of the meanings is “appropriate to the purpose.”
Okay, so what is the purpose of food? … To nourish our bodies and keep us alive and healthy.
So “proper time” doesn’t mean we have to have meals at a certain (or proper) set time, like breakfast at 8am, lunch at noon, and dinner at 6pm. It means that when our bodies are actually getting hungry, then is when it’s “the proper time” to refuel them.
So what we want to aim for is eating in the righttiming – as in when we actually need the food. And I do not actually need it physiologically until I am physiologically hungry.
Head hunger cannot be satisfied with physical food. God alone, as it says in verse 16, satisfies our desires – our head hunger – with Himself.
He opens His hand to me, but my part is to take from His hand. At the proper time – when I’m actually hungry.
And it is at that point I can – and, of course, should – express my gratitude to Him, because He is actually giving it to me then. That is the right time to be thankful for my food!
I have noticed that there are two types of people in Thin Within:
Those who stay on the fringes of the ministry, dabbling here and there, reading some, participating in a group or two – which I did for years! And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it! I was welcomed, accepted, and loved, and I received much in the way of encouragement and resources. And I learned and grew. But there was no “connectaccountability” – meaning no one knew when I was coming or going, or how I was doing with the program, other than what I chose to reveal in a group.
Fringe-stayers; comfy, but you don’t go anywhere (at least I didn’t!)
But I personally could just not get to a place of fully embracing the Thin Within message or implementing it into my life. That’s why I was SO glad when Heidi and Christina began their small coaching groups, as this was the opportunity I needed to be part of the second type of Thin Withinner:
Those who jump in to the program head-first, with heart in tow, and become participants in a much deeper, real-time, connected way!
Woo-hooooo!!! So glad I jumped in!
This is now ME, too!!! And I like it much better than being in the first group! (Don’t worry, it’s much easier than doing the above jump would be, but it felt almost as scary right at the beginning!)
In fact, I love small group coaching – and Heidi and Christina(!) – so much, I’m now in my fourth group!
Perhaps you have made the jump into joining a small coaching group, and started out, but then got cold feet part way through and opted to pull out.
Or maybe you stuck it out, but didn’t feel you got out of it what you hoped.
No matter what boat you’re in – or not in – I have a few tips that will help you get the most out of your involvement with a small coaching group. Note that many of them are decisions.
1) Decide right up front – as in right now ~ that you will jump in to this program, specifically into your group, with your whole heart, and that you will give it all that you can! This isn’t just about Heidi and Christina giving to us, although they do much of that! It’s about what you bring to – and give to the group. In fact, if you decide to GIVE more than you receive, you will be even more blessed, because, as we all know, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Part of what they do is facilitate us connecting with and blessing each other!
I’ve often gone to a call just feeling grimey, like I’ve failed (cuz I actually had!), and like I need a good cleansing. But after each of our calls, I feel like I have been washed fresh and clean – by the Word, by sharing my heart and being showered with encouragement, love, and compassion. My focus gets changed from being downward-focused, to being , focused on Jesus’ cleansing grace, excited to jump back in whole-heartedly and right-heartedly.
2) Do your prep work for the call each week, as much as possible, not as a legalistic or performance-based thing, not just so that you can check it off your list (which, as confirmed “To-do-a-holic,” I do LOVE checklist-checking-off!), but rather, simply because these assignments are part of the work that God is doing to bring us out of Egypt and into his promised land! In our case, it’s the Promised Land of FREEDOM FROM EMOTIONAL EATING AND BONDAGE TO FOOD!!! I SO look forward to this, but, thanks to these coaching groups, I am much closer to it than ever before!
3) But, even if you are not able to do all of the assignment, or even any of it ~ and there will be those times – decide right now – this very moment(!) – to come to every single call that you’re able to, even, if not especially, when you you don’t want to come! Heidi and Christina are sooooo gracious – ALL of the time!!! Even if we have been unable to do the assignments, we are still just as welcome on the calls! We have ALL been there, and there is no condemnation, and we have still gotten much out of our time on the call, with noone thinking less of us for it!
4) Show yourself GRACE ALL through the process, because that is absolutely the theme of this ministry, and at the very core of Heidi and Christina’s hearts! There have been many times that I have felt like I deserved a little bit of scolding, but that has NEVER EVER happened! I have received nothing but encouragement, grace, and love!
5) Determine that you will discard any and ALL thoughts of self-condemnation! This includes being down on yourself, feeling like a failure, or entertaining any ideas of quitting. Since what we are doing in these small groups is really part of our walks with the Lord – in an area we have heretofore kept in a dark closet of our hearts – there’s really nothing TO quit! This is very much part of our journey with God! We are just bringing an area of our lives into a place of allowing God to have access to it – to heal us, and bring us out of that darkness and into His wonderful light! Sometimes that light can be blinding and uncomfortable, but it’s the only place we’re going to get fully healed!
6) Decide, instead, that when you fail or “blow it,” you will “observe and correct,” and focus only on what you can learn from any failure. And we get plennnnty of practice at this with Heidi and Christina, who simply don’t accommodate any attempts to beat ourselves up!
7) Likewise, decide right now that, when the Holy Spirit shows you any sin, you will repent quickly! No groveling, no retreating from Him, no justifying, no pummeling yourself for doing it again, no pity party. Just quickly come into agreement with the Lord (about your sin) and REPENT! Respond to His loving conviction and come back quickly to Him. Do not allow it to keep you away from Him. He is our only hope for transformation anyway, so staying away from Him will only cut us off from our Source of power and change!
Jesus’ arms – and those of Heidi and Christina and everyone in our small group – are wide open to receive us and swiftly get us back on the path to peace, healing, freedom and victory!
This is actually more like what it feels like sometimes!!!
And finally…
8) Come to each call ready to be vulnerable and share what is truly on your heart! This is not the place to come with a happy-face mask and act like everything’s fine when it isn’t. This is truly a loving, caring, gracious group of ladies, under the loving and wise leadership of Heidi and Christina, and you can be totally yourself, totally vulnerable with them! You will absolutely FALL IN LOVE with these amazing people!
It’s like being part of a living, vital, growing, fruitful vine! We are all connected, all growing together, and in many ways producing sweet fruit together because of the input we all have into each others’ lives on this inter-connected leg of the journey. Yes, it’s difficult but we are in it together!
So – can you see why I am sooooo deeply grateful to be in a Thin Within coaching group with Heidi and Christina?!?
I know weight numbers are not a focus, but just so you know this really works from not only a spiritual angle, but from a physical one as well, I have lost about 30 pounds since starting this Thin Within journey! And I have another 20 or so to lose, which will put me at my natural God-given size, not necessarily “skinny.”
These small groups help me keep “walking in the light” where it’s much more difficult to hide in the darkness than when I’m “Lone Rangering” it! – which is SO easy to do when I am struggling and failing and sinning!
So if you are still on the fence, I encourage you to take this to the Lord, ask Him if this is something He wants you to be part of, and if so, don’t wait another moment to sign up and jump into this! It might feel like you’re about to do this…
…especially when you first join and come to your first group phone call. But I encourage you come to the water, LET GO of the rope – whatever is holding you back – and JUST JUMP IN!!!!
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do:
Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14
This Week’s Video:
Video Questions:
1. How is Thin Within different from the dieting approaches you have tried.
2. I describe in the video two times I have lost 100 pounds. What are the differences between the two? (One of the differences is that after losing with Weight Watchers, I gained my weight back! Not this time, with Thin Within, though!)
3. What will happen if you look at Thin Within as a diet? What might be the benefits of looking at Thin Within differently than just as a means to losing weight?
4. How has this journey been like riding a horse down the trail? Where are you in the journey? Are you on the ground? Is it time to get back in the saddle? Do you feel tempted to “send the horse packing” and to forget about ever trying this again? How can you strengthen your resolve to stay on the path?
5. What is the difference between celebrating your failures and celebrating what you can learn in your failures? List three things you can learn from your most recent “failures.”
6. In what ways have you seen God’s grace in this journey?
Renewing the Mind
Truth Journal at least once this week. Truth Journaling is a technique I learned from Barb Raveling. It isn’t typical journaling. Watch this video that explains how it works.
Pick One (book or workbook):
Trade Book
We have completed the assignments for the Thin Within trade book. It was a ten-week study for those using the book. However, now would be a great time to go back through the study guide pages and the book itself and complete any exercises or questions you haven’t yet completed. Use this week and next as a chance to catch up. 🙂
Workbook Assignment
1. Read, highlight, mark 🙂 Lesson 12, Celebration of God’s Grace, on pages D48 – D52 or listen to the “audio book” version of it at Sound Cloud. Discuss it here in the comments section below this post or at our Class Facebook Group.
2. Complete the exercises for Lesson 12 on pages D54-D60. Respond to the Review questions on page D61 and share your thoughts at our Facebook discussion group!
3. Use the entries for Day 78 through Day 84 in the Temple Tool Kit. Could any of the tools help you in having greater accountability for your eating? Is it time to set aside the fear of using the tools that might have been wise weeks ago? What is God leading you to do this week?
5. Memorize Philippians 3:13-14. Personalize it and add it to your truth cards.
6. Join us on March 31st for our live webinar at 4:30 Pacific Time. We will be wrapping up lesson 12 on Celebration of God’s Grace and our entire time of study together.
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)
The picture above is of my beloved Great Pyrenees, Duke, and a litter of foster puppies who raided his personal food bowl one afternoon. Duke, as you can see, was patient despite their poor judgment. Weighing just eight ounces shy of 150 pounds, Duke is immensely strong. The Pyrenees breed was created to protect flocks by being strong enough to kill any predator, even a bear. The massive chest, the powerful jaws, the legs as thick as bricks all point to an alpha male that can take down any opponent. Which is why I love watching Duke with those little puppies. Those fluffballs regard Duke as a living playground. They climb and claw and bite. Duke lets them disturb his naps, steal from his food bowl, and run away with his toys. I’ve seen them nibble on his nose and his ears, and Duke will only sigh and occasionally groan at their misdeeds.
Their foolish youthful indiscretions should put their lives in great danger. After all, Duke was bred for massive strength. Yet it is precisely Duke’s strength that keeps the puppies safe. His massive power gives the puppies a lot of leeway in their behavior. His strength gives them freedom. He is so big, and so strong, that he is not threatened when they growl or jump or bite. They can hurt him, but they can’t wound him. He is patient with them, because he’s not just powerful; he’s kind.
Yet when I sit down to pray to my heavenly Father, as I contemplate His massive power, sometimes I get nervous. My chest feels tight. My jaw muscles tense, I shift my weight in my chair. My body tenses as if to run; how can an all-powerful God be completely good? How can I trust so much power? Isn’t power similar to anger?
No. It’s not. If we’ve seen too many Hollywood movies, or if we grew up in a dysfunctional home, we may have forgotten that power and anger are worlds apart. God is powerful, but He is good. He is kind. That’s hard for me to grasp, and I’m thankful that every prayer is a baby-step to understanding God’s big, beautiful heart of love. Each prayer is a little invitation to see great power demonstrated through love. Mighty strength displayed in kindness.
Scripture tells us that this is how He wants to answer our every prayer. Psalm 119 is one of many passages that tells us God answers our prayers according to His loving kindness. Let me say that again: He will answer you with love plus kindness. Whatever you pray for today, His answer will be love. Plus kindness. If you eat past 5, if you spend past your budget, if you’ve betrayed a friend or you’re struggling with shame and regrets, His answer to you is love. Plus kindness.
Sometimes when I pray, I like to write my prayers down as if I am writing a letter to a friend. I may describe a situation or problem then ask on paper, “What is the most loving thing that could happen here? What would be the kindest thing?” When I am confronted with an action I must take, I ask, “What would love do? How would kindness act?”
I pray for everything and about everything. I have only begun to understand and believe that Love and Kindness are always the answer. Every problem and every failure needs both, and God knows we are weak. He knows we often use poor judgment, and that what we desperately need is what He has already promised. He is ready and willing to love us, exactly as and where we are. His enormous power and strength are demonstrated in His love and kindness toward our weakness. We are free to approach Him with confidence, and even boldness, because He delights in revealing how His love and kindness can transform our worst moments into His greatest miracles.
What About You?
When you pray, what do you expect? Do you fear punishment or expect love? What does your expectation tell you about your beliefs?
Think of your greatest problem or battle today. What is the most loving thing you could do? What would a great kindness be?
Can obedience be a form of kindness to yourself? When you submit to God’s ways, do you experience a freedom and joy that seem closely related to kindness and love?
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.
– 2 Peter 3:18
We have been saying for eight weeks that God’s grace is a constant pardon, provision, power and Presence on this journey. Jerry Bridges says:
As we grow in grace…we grow in our motivation to obey God out of a sense of gratitude and reverence to Him. Our obedience will always be imperfect in performance in this life. We will never perfectly obey Him until we are made perfect by Him…Begin to think daily about the implications of the grace of God in your life.
If you want to see greater obedience in your life, maybe it isn’t necessarily that you need to “buckle down.” Perhaps it is looking up! Maybe it is praising God for His grace that is really what is needed!
Video Questions:
1. Have you felt frustrated by falling far behind in the lesson material? What will you do about it? Pick one of the following: a.) beat yourself up about it b.) quit and join another group when you can do it “more perfectly” c.) pick up where we are now and just move forward extending yourself grace
2. At 01:00, I talk about tools, workbooks, webinars serving US, rather than the other way around. What does this mean? Have you been feeling burdened by slavery to your workbook? What will you do instead? What would exemplify grace in your life?
3. 01:35 What are three ways that you can extend grace to yourself?
4. 02:18 Do you Observe and Correct? Or Observe and Condemn? What is the difference, practically speaking? Why should we *never* condemn ourselves?
5. 03:26-03:49 What is the root of perfectionism? What do you think about this?
6. Look up Psalm 74:1. What is the significance that God has recorded statements like this one forever in His Word? How is the fact that this is a *song* sung in worship by the Israelites indicative of grace?
7. In what ways do you have the most difficulty (on this journey) extending grace to yourself? In light of the price Christ paid to be able to offer you grace, how do you feel about that?
8. At 05:58 the video shifts to looking at the Observation and Correction chart, beginning with a discussion of the Keys to Conscious Eating. Which keys are our primary boundary in Thin Within? Can you state them in your own words? Has God convicted you that this is a boundary for you to follow? How might a boundary actually be an expression of grace?
9. Consider the discussion of the Keys to Conscious Eating. Which of keys #2 through #7 are the most difficult for you to follow? Which might be the most helpful for you in sensing an approaching “5” on the hunger scale?
10. Prayerfully consider using the Observation and Correction Chart this week in the Temple Tool Kit. If you don’t have the TTK, you can download O & C charts here. (The Apple TW app also has the Observation and Correction chart in it.)
11. At the tail end of the video, I fade out making a comment about Daisy Dog. Had grace not stepped in to her life, her end would not have been so rosy. How are you and I similar?
Renewing the Mind – Pressing On
1. What is true about failure? How has your view of failure changed since beginning this journey?
2. Look up these verses and write new truth cards about failure:
Workbook Assignment – To Be Completed by March 3rd.
1. Read, highlight, mark 🙂 Lesson 8, Celebration of God’s Grace Part 2, on pages C44 – C49 or listen to it or download it from Sound Cloud. Discuss it here in the comments section below this post or at our Class Facebook Group. We are having another drawing this week! If you comment this week at the blog and want to be entered to win one of Barb Raveling’s books, Taste for Truth or I Deserve a Donut and Other Lies That Make You Eat, post a relevant comment and indicate that you want to be entered in the drawing. 🙂 It’s that easy!
2. Complete the exercises for Lesson 8 on pages C50 – C56. Don’t worry if you are behind. Just do what you can of this week’s material. Next Monday before the webinar, respond to the Review questions on page C57 or even better–do so at our Facebook discussion group.
3. List 10 attributes of God that have ministered the most to your heart. Have a praise fest, saying back to Him these attributes and thanking him for how they have ministered to you. Share here at the blog how this impacts you.
4. Use the entries for Day 50 through Day 56 in the Temple Tool Kit. This week, the Observation and Correction chart is added. In the video, I mention how I have used the O & C chart. Prayerfully consider giving it a try. It is called Observation and Correction so that you can see where there are “holes” that you can correct. If you don’t see any marks (or few marks) in the “Paid Attention to my Food” row, then you might want to be more mindful of the eating experience if you continue to go past satisfied or “5.”
5. Memorize Philippians 1:6 this week. Personalize it and add it to your truth cards.
Is grace something that you don’t really grasp? How about responding to the encouragement in 2 Peter 3:18…be intentional to “grow in grace.” What does it mean and how can resting in and growing in grace apply to your life and bring relief rather than a burden?
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Lesson 7’s webinar recording with Judy Halliday is available here.
I will post the Lesson 7 Discussion Questions here when they are available.
