I have noticed that there are two types of people in Thin Within:
Those who stay on the fringes of the ministry, dabbling here and there, reading some, participating in a group or two – which I did for years! And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it! I was welcomed, accepted, and loved, and I received much in the way of encouragement and resources. And I learned and grew. But there was no “connectaccountability” – meaning no one knew when I was coming or going, or how I was doing with the program, other than what I chose to reveal in a group.
Fringe-stayers; comfy, but you don’t go anywhere (at least I didn’t!)
But I personally could just not get to a place of fully embracing the Thin Within message or implementing it into my life. That’s why I was SO glad when Heidi and Christina began their small coaching groups, as this was the opportunity I needed to be part of the second type of Thin Withinner:
Those who jump in to the program head-first, with heart in tow, and become participants in a much deeper, real-time, connected way!
Woo-hooooo!!! So glad I jumped in!
This is now ME, too!!! And I like it much better than being in the first group! (Don’t worry, it’s much easier than doing the above jump would be, but it felt almost as scary right at the beginning!)
In fact, I love small group coaching – and Heidi and Christina(!) – so much, I’m now in my fourth group!
Perhaps you have made the jump into joining a small coaching group, and started out, but then got cold feet part way through and opted to pull out.
Or maybe you stuck it out, but didn’t feel you got out of it what you hoped.
No matter what boat you’re in – or not in – I have a few tips that will help you get the most out of your involvement with a small coaching group. Note that many of them are decisions.
1) Decide right up front – as in right now ~ that you will jump in to this program, specifically into your group, with your whole heart, and that you will give it all that you can! This isn’t just about Heidi and Christina giving to us, although they do much of that! It’s about what you bring to – and give to the group. In fact, if you decide to GIVE more than you receive, you will be even more blessed, because, as we all know, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Part of what they do is facilitate us connecting with and blessing each other!
I’ve often gone to a call just feeling grimey, like I’ve failed (cuz I actually had!), and like I need a good cleansing. But after each of our calls, I feel like I have been washed fresh and clean – by the Word, by sharing my heart and being showered with encouragement, love, and compassion. My focus gets changed from being downward-focused, to being , focused on Jesus’ cleansing grace, excited to jump back in whole-heartedly and right-heartedly.
2) Do your prep work for the call each week, as much as possible, not as a legalistic or performance-based thing, not just so that you can check it off your list (which, as confirmed “To-do-a-holic,” I do LOVE checklist-checking-off!), but rather, simply because these assignments are part of the work that God is doing to bring us out of Egypt and into his promised land! In our case, it’s the Promised Land of FREEDOM FROM EMOTIONAL EATING AND BONDAGE TO FOOD!!! I SO look forward to this, but, thanks to these coaching groups, I am much closer to it than ever before!
3) But, even if you are not able to do all of the assignment, or even any of it ~ and there will be those times – decide right now – this very moment(!) – to come to every single call that you’re able to, even, if not especially, when you you don’t want to come! Heidi and Christina are sooooo gracious – ALL of the time!!! Even if we have been unable to do the assignments, we are still just as welcome on the calls! We have ALL been there, and there is no condemnation, and we have still gotten much out of our time on the call, with noone thinking less of us for it!
4) Show yourself GRACE ALL through the process, because that is absolutely the theme of this ministry, and at the very core of Heidi and Christina’s hearts! There have been many times that I have felt like I deserved a little bit of scolding, but that has NEVER EVER happened! I have received nothing but encouragement, grace, and love!
5) Determine that you will discard any and ALL thoughts of self-condemnation! This includes being down on yourself, feeling like a failure, or entertaining any ideas of quitting. Since what we are doing in these small groups is really part of our walks with the Lord – in an area we have heretofore kept in a dark closet of our hearts – there’s really nothing TO quit! This is very much part of our journey with God! We are just bringing an area of our lives into a place of allowing God to have access to it – to heal us, and bring us out of that darkness and into His wonderful light! Sometimes that light can be blinding and uncomfortable, but it’s the only place we’re going to get fully healed!
6) Decide, instead, that when you fail or “blow it,” you will “observe and correct,” and focus only on what you can learn from any failure. And we get plennnnty of practice at this with Heidi and Christina, who simply don’t accommodate any attempts to beat ourselves up!
7) Likewise, decide right now that, when the Holy Spirit shows you any sin, you will repent quickly! No groveling, no retreating from Him, no justifying, no pummeling yourself for doing it again, no pity party. Just quickly come into agreement with the Lord (about your sin) and REPENT! Respond to His loving conviction and come back quickly to Him. Do not allow it to keep you away from Him. He is our only hope for transformation anyway, so staying away from Him will only cut us off from our Source of power and change!
Jesus’ arms – and those of Heidi and Christina and everyone in our small group – are wide open to receive us and swiftly get us back on the path to peace, healing, freedom and victory!
This is actually more like what it feels like sometimes!!!
And finally…
8) Come to each call ready to be vulnerable and share what is truly on your heart! This is not the place to come with a happy-face mask and act like everything’s fine when it isn’t. This is truly a loving, caring, gracious group of ladies, under the loving and wise leadership of Heidi and Christina, and you can be totally yourself, totally vulnerable with them! You will absolutely FALL IN LOVE with these amazing people!
It’s like being part of a living, vital, growing, fruitful vine! We are all connected, all growing together, and in many ways producing sweet fruit together because of the input we all have into each others’ lives on this inter-connected leg of the journey. Yes, it’s difficult but we are in it together!
So – can you see why I am sooooo deeply grateful to be in a Thin Within coaching group with Heidi and Christina?!?
I know weight numbers are not a focus, but just so you know this really works from not only a spiritual angle, but from a physical one as well, I have lost about 30 pounds since starting this Thin Within journey! And I have another 20 or so to lose, which will put me at my natural God-given size, not necessarily “skinny.”
These small groups help me keep “walking in the light” where it’s much more difficult to hide in the darkness than when I’m “Lone Rangering” it! – which is SO easy to do when I am struggling and failing and sinning!
So if you are still on the fence, I encourage you to take this to the Lord, ask Him if this is something He wants you to be part of, and if so, don’t wait another moment to sign up and jump into this! It might feel like you’re about to do this…
…especially when you first join and come to your first group phone call. But I encourage you come to the water, LET GO of the rope – whatever is holding you back – and JUST JUMP IN!!!!
A few years ago God took me on an emotional healing journey, which lasted about 4 years. It was a very hard time in my life, but such a blessing at the same time. One of the areas the Lord addressed was my area of security, or rather, my lack of security in Him. It was really about where I was placing my identity, because it certainly wasn’t in Christ.
It all started when the Lord asked me a question. I had been waiting for a few years for Him to fulfill a promise He specifically gave me in a dream. It wasn’t only a promise, but a desire He placed in my heart. And so in that discouraging time of not seeing the evidence of His promise, He asked me, “If you never had this thing, would I be enough for you?” I remember right where I was, standing in front of our dining room table. I didn’t have to think about His question for very long at all when I spouted off, “No!” I wasn’t ready to sacrifice that promise. Oh, it really bothered me that He would ask me that. How dare He!? And so the journey to placing my true identity in Christ began.
I knew in my head who I was in Christ. I read my Bible. I spent time praying and in Bible studies. I only listened to Christian music. I sang on the worship team at church and was a leader for the youth group. I knew my stuff, but I was so insecure. I had fears. I didn’t like myself. I didn’t even know who I was. And I really didn’t know who I was in Christ.
Over a long period of time, the Lord showed me all of the things I was putting my security and identity in. He would show me one thing, we would work on that one thing, and then it was on to the next thing. I’m glad He worked slowly with me because otherwise it would have felt very overwhelming. I was shocked at the things I was placing my identity and security in. It was in food, in my friends, in my husband, in where I lived, in my past, in being a mother, in my job, etc. There were so many things. I remember the day he showed me how I was putting my security into one particular friendship. I couldn’t believe it!
When I say I didn’t know myself, I mean I didn’t even know the basics about myself. Like, I didn’t even know what my favorite color was. I believed it was blue and purple, but after awhile the Lord showed me that I only liked those colors because they were “safe” colors to like. (My favorite color is actually orange!) Even a little toddler might know their favorite color. (I think my daughter likes pink!) But that’s how lost I was.
I even believed things about the Bible, but I didn’t really have anything to stand on aside from what someone told me to believe. So I had to start at ground zero with some of those beliefs. The Lord took me back to the basics and taught me
His truth so I could know without a doubt why I believe what I believe. I couldn’t lean upon someone else’s Bible teaching. I had to go to the Teacher Himself!
I wore masks. I pretended to be invisible. I didn’t want anyone to know the real me because the real me could get hurt. The real me could cry and feel pain. It felt safer to hide behind all of my false identities. No one could hurt the real me because they didn’t know the real me.
And the Lord stripped all of my defenses away. I had built a wall around my heart, and He began to tear it down brick by brick. There were times it was so scary that I was trying to build up that wall again even as He was taking it down, but of course He won that battle. Praise God! He showed me my true identity in Christ. All of the façade was washed away. All of my defenses were brought down. But I wasn’t left desolate or feeling naked. As the Lord revealed the false identities, He also began to clothe me with my true identity. It really was and is a beautiful work!
I praise Him for what He’s done. I can honestly say that I’m at a place where I know who I am in Christ. Yes, there are times when I’m tried and tested, but ultimately, I am no longer moved or threatened by things as I used to be. I keep my eyes on Christ and He is there with me. There are quirks about me (we all have them), but I rejoice knowing that this is how the Lord made me. And He loves me for me! All of those false identities went to the wayside because I know that I am something without them, but I am nothing without God.
So let’s go back to that original question that started all of this: “Is God enough?”
And my question now is a loud and joyous YES!!!!!!!
I can honestly say that I got to that place where I knew in my heart that if I never saw the fulfillment of His promise, that I would still praise Him. That I would still live for Him. The realization that brought me the most joy was knowing that no matter what, I can still have more of God! He is enough for me!
Nothing fulfills or satisfies me like the Lord does. Like Jesus does. It’s like an overflowing cup. He just keeps on pouring in and I am full of Him. It’s so beautiful! Nothing in this world satisfies my heart like He does. Not my friends, not my job, not my husband, not my house, not my role as a mother, not food, not anything.
Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away. Matthew 24:35
It was a journey. Four years feels like forever when you are in the midst of it. But it was so worth it. Maybe you are in the midst of a similar journey. Maybe you have no idea who you really are or who you are in Christ. My friend, He will show you! He wants to fulfill that desire. He wants to satisfy you. No food will satisfy that. No person will. No job. No amount of money. No friend. Only Jesus!
You are precious in His sight. He loves you. He wants to be your Protector. He wants to clothe you in Him and His righteousness. He is drawing you to Him. Allow Him to take down those defenses and those false identities. And He will give you all that you need, He will not leave you defenseless.
Your identity is in Christ. He is Your rock! Stand upon Him!
How about you?
Is your true identity in Christ, or are you hiding behind false identities? How do you see this come into play with your eating? If God were to ask you if He was enough for you, would you be able to give him a joyful “YES!” or would you tell Him “No!” like I did that first time? He is our strong tower, our refuge…run to Him and HE will keep you safe!
Tonight (before this posts tomorrow), the Lord has been prompting me to ask another question. What if you never reached your “goal weight”, would He still be enough for you? He’s not saying you won’t get to your God-given weight. What He wants to shine His light on is, are you focusing so much on a goal weight or size that it’s become a false identity in your life? Have you used food, dieting, or your reason to lose weight as something you have hidden behind or have found comfort in? He wants to be enough for you, no matter what your weight or size. He is more concerned about your heart. Is your heart fully His?
Often, in our earliest experiences of dissatisfaction with our bodies, we pursue thinness or “normalcy” for all we are worth. We diet and exercise—and even, restrict or purge—on our way to losing some weight, often, only to end up on the dieting pendulum for years! Back and forth, up and down, our weight goes…and with it so often, our self-esteem! “When will it stop!?,” we lament! We feel imprisoned by our compulsions, yet the continued praise by others for a “job well done” urges us onward–sometimes, even if we are already a healthy size.
Then, we begin to “get” that there is more to it than just food and eating. We realize that we struggle with food, our bodies and images of ourselves for reasons other than just “We just do.” So we begin to investigate our “issues,” inviting God to have his way as we begin to become aware. We may look at our past, at abuse, at the need to forgive for wounds that seemed to have nothing to do with food. We may remember how food was used in our homes when we were kids and teenagers and see a connection to how we relate today. We may make some insightful connections that propel us further toward our goal to be healed once and for all.
Hopefully, for those who discover Thin Within, there is a point in time when we string together enough days of depending on the Lord that we release extra weight and come to peace with food. Food no longer holds the great sway over us that it did previously. We are no longer compelled to respond to the ice cream calling our name from the freezer. We answer God’s voice more and more. It feels so sweet. It feels like victory!
Then, the bottom falls out. Something unexpected happens and we find ourselves emotionally strapped as never before. We find ourselves reverting to old habits that we thought were ancient history!
It may take some time, but we grapple to get our bearings and, with time, are optimistic once again that freedom is ours after all. We realize that we are, in fact, fallible and still in process. Like layers of an onion, our God goes deeper and deeper and deeper with us. A layer or 10 may be removed (and it STINGS!) and we may have a season (even a long one) of peace in that place where we think “I can’t imagine I ever struggled with food and eating!” Then, BOOM! There we are again…another layer or 12 is peeled away and we flounder around yet again.
We long to be free—forever!—of the tendency to turn to food.
But what if our healing doesn’t come? What if the freedom we long for comes this way–in stages and seasons. What if the ultimate healing we believe is our birthright as children of the King…eludes us?
Can we choose to thank our God that he has given us this struggle since it has caused us to cling to him like nothing else? Will we declare the glory and goodness of our God? No matter my size or struggle, nothing changes this fact:
GOD IS GREAT. He is MIGHTY. He is FOREVER FAITHFUL.
Nothing that happens to us (or doesn’t happen to us) changes who HE is.
This is one reason why I suggest allowing the focus of our lives to come off of our food, our bodies, our size, our restricting, our exercising, our struggles and, instead, turn to him in praise and gratitude. No matter what happens to me, GOD remains sovereign, loving, and good. He remains who HE is. He is a firm foundation. He is a reliable and safe harbor.
Even if my healing doesn’t come and life falls apart and dreams are left undone, He is God, He is good, forever Faithful One. I will praise him. I will thank him for this struggle.
Here is a song that encourages me to keep my focus fixed firmly on the only One worthy of that focus:
“Even If” Sung by Kutless
Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are
Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come
Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are
Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come
You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise
Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come
You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn’t come
Even if the healing doesn’t come
If you like the song, you can purchase the mp3 at Amazon using this link or at iTunes using this link.
How About You?
Will you choose to thank him and praise him no matter whether your freedom is something you daily praise God for or if it seems ever-elusive? Will you declare that he is good, even if the healing you long for doesn’t come? This life is so short compared to the eternity we have to enjoy ultimate freedom in the presence of our God.
Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
– Jeremiah 17:14
In Mark chapter 5, Jesus is surrounded by a mob of people. In the midst of the crowd is a woman “who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years” (verse 25). She had tried just about everything and everyone.
In Mark 5:26 we see “She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.”
In her ailment, she had looked for healing everywhere that she could think of. She had spent all of her money and yet, ironically, she had suffered more and actually gotten worse.
Have you ever felt this way? The more you sought help and freedom from overweight and overeating, the more diets you experienced, and the more you knew, maybe even the more doctors you went to about this, the more found yourself actually in bondage to food, the thoughts of food, the lust for food and the inhaling of food when you weren’t hungry?
I have. After a year in the 1990s with a popular weight loss program, losing 100 pounds with a very strict diet and obsessive exercise, training for three marathons, studying to become a certified personal exercise trainer, I found myself with a worsened “heart condition.” Like the bleeding woman, I had looked to anyone and everything for healing *other* than the One who could truly offer it. My heart was attached to—obsessed with—food.
The incredible thing is, God can take these “failures” and our desperation and actually use it all. This bleeding woman had become so convinced that the only source for healing left for her was Jesus, that she knew that if she just *touched* his clothing, she could be healed! Now that is faith! Jesus sought her out. He wanted to see this woman face to face—not because he didn’t know who she was. He knew. He was God, after all. But he wanted to speak to her personally. In Mark 5:34, we are told what he says to this woman after she was healed: “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
What marvelous words. These words He longs to speak to us! This very healing he longs to impart to us. Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! – Isaiah 30:18
But who are we looking to for our healing from this tendency to eat more than we need to sustain our bodies? Are we looking to Him? Truly? Are we seeking His healing? Or are we seeking the healing through any number of other methods? Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. – Ps. 107:19-20
If He heals us, it isn’t at the expense of our souls. When the Lord saves us, we truly are saved. Let us turn to Him, focus on Him, praise Him with our lives. In that place we, too, will experience the rush of power into our lives that sets us free from our suffering!
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. – Hebrews 12:2
Lord, I choose to come to you today for the healing I need. I need to be healed of my tendency to turn to food to process my emotions. Conversely, I know sometimes I replace overeating with restricting and I turn to dieting to “save” me—as a functional Messiah of sorts. I choose to reject this tendency, Lord. Instead of either unhealthy approach, I want to view food as fuel and be set free from extra weight and over-eating. I want to be set free from needless restricting. I know you alone can work these changes in me. I come to you, Jesus. Amen.
As a child growing up, I wasn’t safe. I feared and experienced abandonment frequently. Life was devoid of the safety and protection of reliable authority figures.
Any surprise that I struggle with God as a wonderful, reliable, safe and strong authority figure today?
But I am growing in this–even now! As I sit in his presence and experience his love, tenderness, compassion, strength, and beauty, I am able finally to experience what it is to be a child–His child.
This video is of a great Jason Gray song…I just have to share it with you for your renewing of the mind playlists (editing this post after it has posted because I don’t want it just stuck in the comments!):
