I am traveling with my husband this week and so it is with great pleasure that I get to keep sharing blog posts written especially for you all but BY you! People who are in our blog community here, commenting along with you, in the trenches along with you. This author has a powerful challenge for us! Then, tomorrow, Christina will share some valuable insights for pregnancy (and beyond!). ~ Hugs, Heidi
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A few years ago, I competed in a women’s triathlon. When a competitor arrived for the event, a volunteer would write two things on her calf. On the outside of the calf, the volunteer wrote the competitor’s race number. On the back of the calf, the volunteer wrote the woman’s age. As I competed that day, whenever I would race behind a woman, I noted her age and her figure. Was she thinner than me, or bigger? Older and younger? I wanted to be thinner than the other women, and younger, too. I hated to realize that many times, I was neither.
Suddenly, I felt a firm conviction from the Lord. “You’ve set a standard for your life that did not come from Me.” Having a perfect figure had always been so important to me; but apparently, not for God. As a child, I was a normal weight, but was pushed into dieting at a young age. I wonder now if it was because I developed early, and the extra curves made everyone uncomfortable. Either way, I knew my body was the problem in my family, and I needed to “fix” it. When I wanted to eat normal food, instead of diet food, I had to sneak it. I felt guilty about my appetite. I also felt doomed, because I wanted more. More food, more approval, more love, and more of anything than filled the aching hole in my heart.
When bullies at school targeted me, they made fun of my body. Humiliated daily, I retreated further into both shame and striving. If only I were perfect, I thought, the bullies would stop. I made it my mission to eliminate anything that made me a target for cruelty. I wanted, above all, to fit in. To be perfect, and perfectly acceptable.
Believing the lie that perfection is a good and obtainable standard is like staring into the eyes of a snake. I’ve read that some snakes hypnotize their prey this way, rendering them immobile before the poisonous strike. Overeating became a way for me to “break the trance” of perfection. It allowed me to give up the fight temporarily. But God calls me to give up the fight forever. He is asking me to love peace not perfection.
Surrendering to God by living within my 0-5 boundaries also means surrendering my attempts to insulate myself from pain. God never promised to spare me from reality; He did, however, promise to redeem it. To have the peace of surrender, I must accept the pain and uncertainty of imperfections. I must, actually, accept myself.
And that’s a race I’m just starting.
Hunger Within states, “When we are assaulted in this spiritual battle and tempted to give way to despair and old patterns of thinking and behaving, we must remind ourselves that God has provided his spiritual armor to equip us for holy action.”
How About You?
” Abstain from sinful desires that wage war against your soul.”
~ 1 Peter 2:11
“If you had only known on this day what would bring you peace.”
~ Luke 19:42
What desires are stirring your discontent and anger? And what choices could you make, just for today, that would bring you peace?
So, did you fall off the horse yesterday? Last week? Last month?
It’s never too late to get back up again! Take it from one who knows! PERFECTION is a myth. Both in riding a horse and in staying focused in our 0 to 5 eating, Thin Within approach.
If you feel you have “failed” in your attempt to “be faithful” eating 0 to 5 — you had Halloween candy or a full-on pizza feast or…well…whatever it was…— it isn’t “failure” unless you stop trying! You fell off the horse. So GET BACK on him and GO! There are wonders to experience! Adventures to be had!
Ten years ago, my husband, two kids and I moved to the country to experience the “horse dream come true.” We did it all wrong. Someday I am going to write a book about it and save a lot of innocent (potential) horse buyers a whole lot of grief. 🙂 In our horse-buying experience, if anything could go wrong, it did. I was bucked off (or fell off) more times than I care to admit. It took years to get it my confidence back. I worked hard with a couple of very special, talented horse trainers (actually, they were HUMAN trainers…the horses didn’t need training–*I* did!).
For reasons which shall remain shrouded in mystery :-), I rode my horse for the last time three and a half years ago.
Until *yesterday*.
Yesterday was a BIG day for me. I got on my horse, Harley. I got to know a new riding friend. I have a feeling some adventures are in store. I accomplished a goal I had set for myself for this year—to get back on one of my horses!
Harley reminds me that perfection isn’t going to happen. It is a myth. The important thing is that when we fall off the horse, we get back on. Relish the NOW and all that can be!
This is what I know from what Harley teaches me:
Over time, on our journeys in life, we will fall off the horse. But over time, we do so less frequently. And we stay off of them less long. That is the way the Thin Within journey goes. When I consider the GREAT time I had out in the fall sunshine, visiting with my new friend, smelling horse sweat (nothing sweeter!), feeling him beneath me and his blowing of air (a good sign!) I can’t believe I waited so long! What was really holding me back? Fear of failure! But for three and a half years, I couldn’t experience the joy of the journey! The thrill of victory *OR* the agony of defeat. I missed it all–because I just wouldn’t try.
Yesterday, I almost let fear of failure RUIN a wonderful opportunity to re-start a marvelous adventure!
What About You?
Have you quit, restarted, quit, restarted and….QUIT…this journey? Our entire lives long, we will be on this 0 to 5 eating journey. We will fall off the horse. The thing is, we will fall off less frequently and stay off less long before getting back on. Will you get back on today? Now? Don’t stay off! Are you afraid of “failure?” There are marvels to see! Joys to experience! God is waiting with open arms to welcome you on a wild and wonderful ride!
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Psalms 27:14
We read time after time in the Bible to “wait” on the Lord. If you google “wait on the Lord scripture,” you will find dozens of related verses. Waiting on Him is associated with good, hope, strength, courage, mounting up with wings like eagles, compassion, mercy, and rest, among other things. I was thinking the other day about King David and how he wanted to build the temple so that God would have a glorious dwelling place.
Then King David rose to his feet and said: “Hear me, my brothers and my people. I had it in my heart to build a house of rest for the ark of the covenant of the Lord and for the footstool of our God, and I made preparations for building.
I imagine David was so excited about his plan, like I am when I plan a home renovation, garden plantings, or a vacation. He may have lain awake at night making sketches in his head. He may have thought about all of the details, the gold overlay and the fabulous carvings, where the ark would rest, and how he would acquire building materials. But then God makes him wait. He says ‘You may not build a house for my name.” (1 Chronicles 28:3). Imagine David’s disappointment as his plan is foiled. But, David listens and obeys and his plan comes to a screeching halt. In the end, he is given permission to make a plan of the temple (through God’s guidance) and to prepare materials for his son Solomon to build the temple, but he does not build it himself. He doesn’t see the finished product in his lifetime. He chooses to wait on the Lord and follow His plan, and he is blessed for his obedience.
I think David can be an incredible lesson for those of us on this Thin Within journey. In our culture of immediate gratification, we want to not wait in so many ways. We may have a plan for what we want to wear to that reunion, wedding or beach trip. We may want to be a certain size by a particular date. We may ask for complete freedom from our food and body issues – today, not tomorrow. We may want that food, the ice cream, chips or burger, right now, although we are not hungry.
I want to challenge us to think about waiting on the Lord. Wait for Him to show us when to eat and when to stop. Wait for Him to show us what to eat. Wait for Him to show us what a surrendered life looks like. And let’s scrap our plans for “perfect” bodies or for fitting into that dress or for achieving a certain size. He put the hunger and satiety signals in our bodies and created each one of our bodies. Wait on Him to show you how to treat your body. David wrote over and over again in the Psalms to “wait on the Lord.” Let’s follow his godly example! Check out Psalms 33:20, 37:7, 38:15, 39:7, and Isaiah 40:31.
~ Carrie
How About You?
What do you get out of the passages Carrie shared with us above? What is God calling you to wait on? What is God calling you to let go of?
The material this week is INCREDIBLE! I am so excited to share it with you!
This week we get a chance to look at our lives and evaluate where legalism may lurk. Legalism isn’t always obvious, but it’s affects are. Like a wind, you can’t always see it, but you can see the impact it has, so we want to invite God to show us where we have bought in to the performance trap, as this is a sure indicator that legalism may be having its way with us.
This week we will see the difference between legalism and grace and one way we will do that is by becoming well acquainted with grace in many forms. This is where this study really gets GOOD!
Do you ever evaluate yourself based on if you ate 0 to 5 today? Or based on if you lost weight in the past week? (Hopping on the scale may indicate you are caught in a performance-based mentality.)
If you are living in a way that how you feel about yourself is based on your performance in some way, you probably feel discouraged and exhausted on the one hand or prideful and energized on the other. That may not sound so bad, but there is no stability on that pendulum! We swing from one extreme to the other. This is what Thin Within calls “The Path of My Performance.” We want to get off of that path and enjoy what God has in mind instead!
Let’s cease striving and know that he is God. Let’s lean into his grace and let him carry us along. In fact, the approval issue has been dealt with. We have God’s love, approval. Let’s tell ourselves the truth: God has lavishly poured grace all over us.
Have you ever thought about diets and how they have so much in common with Legalism? In fact, diets are rooted in legalism. If we have a long dieting history, we may have brought legalism with us (even subtly) into our Thin Within experience.
20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: 21 “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? 22 These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. 23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence. Colossians 2:20-23
Let’s get the legalistic mentality out of our Thin Within/HEAL journey.
This week, you will get to look at the self-imposed rules you may still have in your life, left over from your dieting history. You may even be combining a dieting approach with 0 to 5 eating. Let’s dissect that mentality this week, too.
Let’s not buy the lie that victory can be bought with our self-will!
God’s perfect love casts out fear and allow us to embark on a freedom filled way of eating and living. Yes, inform your conscience. Turn to the Lord and do it for his glory.
Homework assignment:
Complete the Personal Study portion of Lesson 5 – An Aisle of Grace
Ask God show you where legalism lurks in your thinking and living. Share with us here what God has shown you already about this or as he shows you this week!
Ask him to help you to sense his approval and love for you that is based on Christ’s “performance” at the cross, rather than on your ability to “wow” him!
Connect with your accountability partner.
Check in here and share how God is at work through the study this week.
The day begins with hot tea and the warmth of a personal encounter with Jesus. Blessings and truth gush like a fountain off the pages of the Bible and saturate your heart as you are in awe of how intimate and personal His presence is to you. You have carved out this time first thing in the morning and it is richly rewarding!
In fact, you don’t think about food until a gnawing sensation in your stomach overcomes all other thoughts. Wow! I haven’t eaten since last night’s dinner! I am at a zero! Your quiet time was so satisfying and fulfilling and your heart so satiated with the goodness of God that it wasn’t until you were truly hungry that you gave a thought to breakfast. You thankfully relish a modest portion of a thoroughly satisfying meal.
As the day continues, you are prayerful, joy-filled, aware that Jesus walks with you.
Lunch is another “I-can’t-believe-I-am-actually-hungry” eating experience as you enjoy a lunch out with a favorite co-worker. You readily stop eating when you are no longer hungry. This is what it is like to “whether you eat or drink, do it all to the glory of God” as spoken of in 1 Corinthians 10:31!
Upon returning from lunch, however, demanding clients and a disgruntled boss cause the afternoon to lose it’s luster somewhat. By day’s end, the warm glow of the morning’s embers has been pretty well snuffed out. Tired, you saunter to your car considering the late afternoon commute. Your heart falls–overwhelmed–at what you know waits for you at home. Barring a miracle, the kids will be squabbling and messes will be everywhere. By the time you emerge through the thick traffic–made worse by a fender-bender in the slow lane–you are famished…you deserve some joy in your life. You enter the house and, sure enough, no one else thought to clean up the sink which now demands attention before you can even think about dinner preparation. Why is this always left to me?
You plug in the electric skillet with ingredients of what will not-soon-enough be a delicious meal and, as you reach for the cumin in the cupboard, the chocolate chips sitting right next to the spice rack grab you by the arm and threaten that you had better eat them! Ha! Not really, but you would think so! Before you give it any thought, let alone a prayer, you dive in. You finish your dinner preparation as you continue to revisit the bag of chocolate chips and by the time dinner is ready, you have inhaled enough chocolate chips to populate two batches of cookies. You aren’t hungry for dinner but feel the need to eat to “balance your blood sugar” since you know you will crash and burn later when you do get hungry after eating so much sugar. Besides, you don’t want the family to ask why you aren’t eating. That would be even worse than having eaten the chocolate chips!
By the time you go to bed, you are miserable…not just from having overeaten, but from the overwhelming sense of “failure.” Why can’t I ever have ONE good day of eating 0 to 5 all day long? The club of condemnation comes out and you start beating yourself up.
Can you relate to this scenario or one sort of like it? Are you frustrated that you can begin the day so well, but by the day’s end you have steamrollered right over your 0 to 5 eating boundaries?
What can you do when this happens?
In my personal experience and through the one-on-one coaching I have been doing for the past few months, I have seen this scenario or one like it play out numerous times. What we choose to do with our “failure” determines how “successful” we will be with our Thin Within program and the release of weight we hope to experience.
It isn’t the slip up that will keep us from releasing weight–not usually. It is allowing a mis-step to define what the next meal will be like, what the next hour will look like, what the next day, week, and month will look like.
This is why we have to, have to, haveto be willing to go from merely “observing” (and condemning) our behavior to planning a correction immediately. That way, the next time–and there WILL be a next time–we will have a plan of action to ensure success! We can take the proverbial bull by the horns and bring him down!
What do I mean by observation and correction? For those of you new or not yet experienced with the Thin Within book or workbook, this is a tool we use to help us see where we strayed from behavior and thoughts that didn’t correspond or support our godly goals. This is the “easy” part. It is the part that says, “I ate all those chocolate chips and then ate dinner when I wasn’t hungry and now I am stuffed!” In Thin Within, though, we try to observe dispassionately. We look at what happened and declare what action or thought was the culprit that derailed our godly intentions. We don’t judge. We don’t pull out the club of condemnation. This is the FIRST thing we do. You can add more power to this step by confessing it to the Lord in prayer.
Secondly, we want to plan a “correction”–what will we do differently the next time we are in the exact–or similar–situation? This is, simply, repentance. Choosing and planning a new behavior for the next time this situation arises. In our example, I would want to make a plan for when I am tired, frustrated, famished, and get little (if any) help at home after a long day. What could I *do* to change things around so that once I land at home the chocolate chips don’t assault me out of the blue? One suggestion for the woman in our example is that she could use her CD/mp3 player for the drive home to refocus her thoughts so that the commute time is spent renewing her mind about the rest of the day. Praise music can make a huge difference! Alternatively, downloading and using the audio files that I have made available to you might be helpful for the stressful commute. You can download the bible as mp3 or iTunes files, too! The journey home from work (or wherever) can actually become a sanctified “Holy of Holies” of sorts–land that you capture for the Lord. And if, when you do finally get home, you are famished you can have a prepared-in-advance baggie with a small snack designed for just such an occasion–to shave the 0 off just a tad. Like three Ritz crackers or one Oreo cookie–enough to get you through the dinner preparation without inhaling the chocolate chips!
Third thing you want to do after you have messed up is REJOICE! What? Did she actually say “Rejoice!”? Yes! You see, you are sensitive to the Lord and to the boundaries he has asked you to live within. That is why you have an awareness of the situation as a “Mess Up!” It means that you are tender-hearted. You haven’t become calloused to sin or to living outside of boundaries. It is a wonderful thing to realize! So, thank the Lord that he has given you a heart to obey him and that while you aren’t doing it “perfectly,” you are growing in godliness with each day. THIS time is different than any that may have come before as you are learning to do the struggle well.
Bringing it home:
Step 1: Observation. Consider the last 3 “mess ups” you have experienced. What did you think or do that worked against your godly goals?
Step 2: Correction. What will you do to structure life for success so that the next time you are in a similar situation you maintain your commitment to your boundaries?
Step 3: REJOICE! Can you thank God right now that he has given you a heart tender to him? You are here reading about this, aren’t you? That says a lot! LOL! 😀
Share your three steps below for one of your “Mess Ups.” You might give others that read your ideas some strategies for dealing with their own struggles! Let’s win some for the LORD!
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