What if the Healing Doesn’t Come?

Is This What Depression Feels Like?

Challenging question isn’t it?

Often, in our earliest experiences of dissatisfaction with our bodies, we pursue thinness or “normalcy” for all we are worth. We diet and exercise—and even, restrict or purge—on our way to losing some weight, often, only to end up on the dieting pendulum for years! Back and forth, up and down, our weight goes…and with it so often, our self-esteem! “When will it stop!?,” we lament! We feel imprisoned by our compulsions, yet the continued praise by others for a “job well done” urges us onward–sometimes, even if we are already a healthy size.

Then, we begin to “get” that there is more to it than just food and eating. We realize that we struggle with food, our bodies and images of ourselves for reasons other than just “We just do.” So we begin to investigate our “issues,” inviting God to have his way as we begin to become aware. We may look at our past, at abuse, at the need to forgive for wounds that seemed to have nothing to do with food. We may remember how food was used in our homes when we were kids and teenagers and see a connection to how we relate today. We may make some insightful connections that propel us further toward our goal to be healed once and for all.

Hopefully, for those who discover Thin Within, there is a point in time when we string together enough days of depending on the Lord that we release extra weight and come to peace with food. Food no longer holds the great sway over us that it did previously.  We are no longer compelled to respond to the ice cream calling our name from the freezer. We answer God’s voice  more and more. It feels so sweet. It feels like victory!

Then, the bottom falls out. Something unexpected happens and we find ourselves emotionally strapped as never before. We find ourselves reverting to old habits that we thought were ancient history!

It may take some time, but we grapple to get our bearings and, with time, are optimistic once again that freedom is ours after all. We realize that we are, in fact, fallible and still in process.  Like layers of an onion, our God goes deeper and deeper and deeper with us. A layer or 10 may be removed (and it STINGS!) and we may have a season (even a long one) of peace in that place where we think “I can’t imagine I ever struggled with food and eating!” Then, BOOM! There we are again…another layer or 12 is peeled away and we flounder around yet again.

We long to be free—forever!—of the tendency to turn to food.

But what if our healing doesn’t come? What if the freedom we long for comes this way–in stages and seasons. What if the ultimate healing we believe is our birthright as children of the King…eludes us?

Can we choose to thank our God that he has given us this struggle since it has caused us to cling to him like nothing else? Will we declare the glory and goodness of our God? No matter my size or struggle, nothing changes this fact:

GOD IS GREAT. He is MIGHTY. He is FOREVER FAITHFUL.

Nothing that happens to us (or doesn’t happen to us) changes who HE is.

This is one reason why I suggest allowing the focus of our lives to come off of our food, our bodies, our size, our restricting, our exercising, our struggles and, instead, turn to him in praise and gratitude. No matter what happens to me, GOD remains sovereign, loving, and good. He remains who HE is. He is a firm foundation. He is a reliable and safe harbor.

Even if my healing doesn’t come and life falls apart and dreams are left undone, He is God, He is good, forever Faithful One. I will praise him. I will thank him for this struggle.

Here is a song that encourages me to keep my focus fixed firmly on the only One worthy of that focus:

“Even If” Sung by Kutless

Sometimes all we have to hold on to
Is what we know is true of who You are
So when the heartache hits like a hurricane
That could never change who You are
And we trust in who You are

Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come

Lord we know Your ways are not our ways
So we set our faith in who You are
Even though You reign high above us
You tenderly love us
We know Your heart
And we rest in who You are

Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come

You’re still the Great and Mighty One
We trust You always
You’re working all things for our good
We’ll sing your praise

Even if the healing doesn’t come
And life falls apart
And dreams are still undone
You are God You are good
Forever faithful One
Even if the healing
Even if the healing doesn’t come

You are God and we will bless You
As the Good and Faithful One
You are God and we will bless You
Even if the healing doesn’t come
Even if the healing doesn’t come

If you like the song, you can purchase the mp3 at Amazon using this link or at iTunes using this link.

How About You?

Will you choose to thank him and praise him no matter whether your freedom is something you daily praise God for or if it seems ever-elusive? Will you declare that he is good, even if the healing you long for doesn’t come? This life is so short compared to the eternity we have to enjoy ultimate freedom in the presence of our God.

This Changes Everything!

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There are times when I feel such frustration with myself—the struggle that Paul shares in Romans 7 about the very thing he doesn’t want to do is that which he keeps on doing and the good that he wants to do he doesn’t. There are times when I am frustrated by others or my circumstances. Times when I feel despair and such a lack of hope. At times like these, I wonder how I will ever see my way clear. Hope is elusive!

It is times like these when one thing…and one thing alone…changes EVERYTHING for me.

In fact, the biggest changes in my life—my eating, my other stronghold struggles, my relationships—have happened when I have integrated this one thing into my life.

It’s praise.

I believe that so often those of us who struggle with eating and eating disorders have an extreme case of self-focus. I know I do when I am left to my own devices. Dieting definitely contributed to me being this way…and sometimes, over the years, I have turned Thin Within into being less about honoring GOD and exalting him in all I do into being .all about me, my food, my hunger, my body, me me me, my my my.

This doesn’t result in anything but more despair and struggle.

When I move my focus from ME to the Lord, it is amazing what happens.

We were created to worship him, to exalt him. When I am doing what I was created to do, my spirit soars, hope floods even the darkest parts of my mind and heart and I experience a change…now. There is something wildly wonderful about exalting my Creator, my God, my King.

This week, I have been struggling with some circumstances in my life and I was reminded ever so lovingly by my Heavenly Father that I hadn’t been praising as much. So, I recommitted to this as a daily practice. In fact, as part of the “Set Your Timer” Challenge, I praise! How awesome is it to praise God—even if ever so briefly—for a moment every hour!

I recorded one of my praisefests in case it can encourage you as you do your own. As I listened to it, I realized that you can actually tell that I am experiencing a lifting of my spirit as I go farther on.

Here it is for you:

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/115926097″ iframe=”true” /]

How About You?

Can you develop or add to a God List (this post at my other blog tells you about it if you haven’t seen me talk about it before) and then use it for your own praisefest? If not this, then how about opening to a favorite psalm and giving it a shot? 🙂 Just ask the question, “What is God like and what does He do for people?” and then say back to God what you find!

Starting Fresh…Again!

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Image Source: iStockPhoto

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Cor. 4:17-18)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. (Hebrews 12:1-4)

In what ways have you focused your previous attempts to “fix yourself” on what is seen and temporary?

What is the better approach? What are we called to focus on now? (See the above verses for ideas.)

Right now, let’s choose to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. The way to do this is to focus our hearts,  minds,  gaze on our Redeemer, our King, our Salvation. Instead of focusing on how much we need to “control” unwanted behavior, we will concentrate on the greatness of God, HIS ability, HIS power, HIS provision, HIS love for you, HIS grace!

What About You?

What do you think about this challenge? Are you ready? Ready againI? There is nothing wrong with another new beginning!

Let’s rejoice that we won’t need to use numbers on a bathroom scale to define who we are! In fact, let’s lock our bathroom scales in a closet or put them in the garage. Likewise, we no longer need to allow our ability to fit into a pair of jeans determine whether we have a good day or not. Life is about so much more.

Our King redeems all the years that we have been less than we hoped to be, the insinuations of others (or ourselves) that we have been inadequate, all the moments in the past when we have been controlled by our appetites and the meals that are yet ahead where we hope not to overeat or under-eat, binge or purge. He will use these moments when we are drawn to food to remind us of His love for us. As he does this, we have a choice. To wait in the moment for His love to satisfy us and be enough or to give in to the temptation to fill the empty well of our hearts with the stagnant water of the counterfeit. Life-giving water—Jesus our King, or the life-draining effect of whatever it is we may tend to turn to instead?

Bible Study

Let’s have a look at the past and the present. You will want a journal for this or to print out this part of the blog!

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.  Titus 3:3-7

In the above passage circle or underline every reference to the past. For instance “were.” Circle that. Any action word (verb) ending with –ed you will want to circle as well.

List  the words you circled.

What phrase in the passage above marks the turning point? (If you want a hint, see verse 4.) Do you see those wonderful words, “But when…?” Note the way the story changes.

Do you see a promise for the future in verse 7? What is it?

Read Ephesians 2:1-7:

1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

Do the same exercise for this passage, circle every reference to the past.

What is the turning point in this passage?

WHO is the hero? Who rescues whom?

Does the rescue depend on you at all?

Journal your response.

Aren’t these wonderful promises? We are encouraged to realize that the past is the past. We USED to live these ways. BUT…and here is where the story gets really good…BUT!!! While it is true we were in captivity, we were enslaved, we were without hope. “But…He saved us!” The daring rescue has happened!

How does this contrast with the notion that you can “let God down?”

When we have this sense that we let God down, what does that say about God’s need for me? If God is the one doing the rescuing, the carrying, the holding, the helping, how can I “let God down?”

In Isaiah 41:10, GOD says:

So do not fear, for I am with you;
       do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
       I will strengthen you and help you;
       I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

GOD is the one who does the carrying, the strengthening, the helping, the holding, the rescuing! He is the dashing warrior upon whom the story turns. He has done it. Jesus Christ has won the victory for you. He comes for you…right now. The gallant hero reaches for you from astride his noble steed. Will you allow him to lift you safely out of the kingdom of darkness?

He carries you. He lifts you.

Respond to the Truth

What do you think? How can believing this, that HE is the focus, that HE is the where our strength comes from, radically transform our experience? How might that affect you…TODAY? 🙂

 

What’s It Gonna Take? Ending Rebellion…

Image Source: Creation Swap

Image Source: Creation Swap

We can keep on looking for a magic bullet.

We can keep reading the latest greatest “non-diet,” “intuitive eating” material on the web, but there comes a point in time when we have to live up to the light we have been given.

Has that time come for you?

I get emails from people all the time…many are involved in the Thin Within Facebook Accountability Group, the regular Thin Within Facebook page, have frequented the Thin Within forums on an off for years, done all the workbooks, read Thin Within and Thin Again. Yet they still struggle with obedience. They still are frustrated by themselves. Maybe struggle implies more challenge then there has been. Some of us, don’t even put up a fight against the gluttony that sucks us in. We just roll over and give in to the desire.

What’s it gonna take to for us to stop it? To END THE REBELLION?

I guess another question would be “What’s REALLY holding you (me) back?”

With the way I have been this past week (and longer), I know what is in this Sound Cloud file holds the antidote for what I suffer from. I would wager might for you, too:

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/103612488″ iframe=”true” /]

For Your Consideration:

1. Have you read a lot of Thin Within material and done a lot of the workbooks or bible studies? Have you tried the online resources (of course you have if you are here at this website! LOL!). Do you really–in your heart of hearts–feel like you lack knowledge? Is there really anything more that more inspiration could offer you? Or is it time to live according to the light you already have?

2. Can you do what the audio suggests at the end…open to Psalm 30 or Isaiah 30 and pull out attributes of God or answers to this question: “What is God like and/or what has He done for people?” Can you praise him out loud for those attributes? Can you find three gifts that God has blessed you with in this momentyes…even if your husband has just announced he is leaving, even if your daughter has admitted she is pregnant, even if you just got the news that you have cancer, even if your job is flushed because of your company’s “downsizing.” No matter what…can you find the gifts that God has offered you in this day, write them down and, out loud, thank him for them?

3. Are you willing to give THIS a try? Not another new bible study. Not another new accountability group, but the daily practice of praise and gratitude…and just see if it might not make a difference in the rebellion that has been living in your heart?

4. Do an experiment this weekend. Practice praise and gratitude this weekend. Build your God List. Use it for a Praise Fest. Keep a running list of the gifts God has given you. Speak these truths about God’s character and goodness OUT LOUD. See if, when you do this, you still have the same challenges in your eating…can you praise God at the same time you eat more food than he calls you to eat?

Let us know how it goes! Share your thoughts and insights here!

Week 6 – Counting Blessings, Praising God for Progress!

alliwant

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.

– Psalm 150:6 NIV

Have you ever known someone who, no matter what wonderful things were going on, they found the dark clouds amidst all the silver linings of life? A”Christian Eeyore” has that “There’s not a cloud in the sky, but that’s because a terrible storm is brewing and it is sure to take us by surprise” approach to life. You know the type, right? I hope you aren’t that type, though!

This week, we are going to choose NOT to be like that. We are going to CELEBRATE and count the many ways that God has been at work in our lives.

The nature of this journey we are on, requires that we prayerfully scrutinize our choices. We “observe and correct” and find there is SO much to “correct.” We tell ourselves repeatedly how we could/should have done this or that better. I don’t know about you, but after I have just inhaled an extra piece of pizza beyond satisfied, I can “overlook” the previous three days of wonderful choices, honoring God, walking with him, and submitting to his leadership!

We have been doing some HARD work this summer! Rather than weighing our bodies and comparing notes and results, let’s invite God to weigh our hearts right now. NOT our bodies. See below to see what I mean:

Heart Weight Scale

Heart Scale

All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart.

– Proverbs 21:2

If God were to weigh your heart, where would it land in the above illustration?

Here is a spiel about what I want us to do this week! 🙂

Assignment:

1. ) Do Barb’s evaluation to start off.

2.) Create a list of “land” you have captured for Christ on this journey this summer so far!

For instance:

  • I said no to a second helping last night at dinner
  • I have been drinking more water and less sweetened tea/coffee
  • I have been renewing my mind frequently and have noticed that I have begun to think God’s thoughts about myself, food, and God–to actually believe them!
  • I have been adding to my truth cards each week.
  • I have an accountability partner.
  • I have had 3 nights of successfully eating within my boundaries from dinner preparation time until bed time!
  • etc.

Your turn!

3.) If you have noticed that you tend to break your boundaries under certain circumstances, prayerfully make a plan for how to take that situation captive *before* it happens next time.

4.) Which of the three challenge levels mentioned by Barb in her evaluation post are you going to try out? Pick one and get an accountability partner if you haven’t yet.  What can you do to structure your life to meet this challenge with victory? Make a plan!

5.) Consider having a gratitude blog or gratitude journal, specifically for thanking God for his gifts. Try these spots on the web:

6.) PLEASE POST HERE! What changes are you seeing in your life? Please praise our God and tell of all his wonderful deeds! Every continent (except Antarctica) has been represented by visitors to this website. So, if we are supposed to “declare among the nations” the things God has done for us, you can do so here and consider that one way of telling “The World” about what God has been doing! In fact, while I am asking for the moon :-), I would love you go to the Testimonials page and share a testimony there for everyone to see who lands at that page! Come on! 🙂

7.) Some sad news is that our trial membership at GoToMeeting and GoToWebinar has come to an end. I had *thought* that it was only $50 to continue, but it is $100! 🙁 I just can’t swing that. So, sadly, we won’t be having an online class this week unless I find a host that is cheaper. 🙁

8.) Will you pray for people to be encouraged through this ministry? I would love for visitors to see the many ways you see God at work in your life this summer! Thanks so much.