Actually, a better title might be: “No Man… but I have a Plan!”
During my second month of pregnancy, when I may have been feeling my worst, my husband announced he would be going to London on a two-week business trip. I was very concerned about being left alone with the two kids, work, housework, and in my first trimester of pregnancy. But most of all, I was concerned about being left to my own devices in the evenings… all alone…
Historically I would have used the evening times alone to “indulge” in over-eating, and late-night movie watching. But I know that inevitably, I wake up the next morning regretting staying up so late and regretting what I ate! So, I decided to use it as a re-framing opportunity. I wanted to think of an evening alone in a whole new light. I knew from experience that would take planning, accountability and a new way of thinking.
I started out with a favorite prayer pneumonic from John Piper. It’s “APTAT”:
A – Admit that you can do nothing on your own.
P – Pray for help
T – Trust a Promise
A – Act in response
T – Thank him for helping you.
In the past, this little reminder has helped me calm my anxiety and refocus on God and his ability to influence me and my circumstances. So that’s what I prayed. And then I made a plan.
Truth Cards
My attitude about this whole situation was not great. I felt panicky and like I was being left out of the fun. So I wrote some truths about what this time really was about—or some of the potential benefits of this short season. Truths like,
“Thank you God for this more relaxed week to make memories with my children.”
“Jesus is my Perfect Companion. He never gives up on me, grows weary, stops loving me, or walks away.”
“God, you know I am not perfect. But you have said I have your resurrection power in me. You said your Divine Power has given me everything I need for life and godliness today.”
I reviewed these in the mornings usually. A quick way to get my mind right for the day.
Evening Mind Renewal
One of my goals was to renew my mind every evening after dinner and before I started watching TV or having any snacks. This was an Accountability Point for me (see below) and was very helpful. In fact, I got a big surprise! I discovered new things about myself! I discovered I love to go out on the porch after dinner. Listening to the night sounds and looking up at the moon and stars gave me a wonderful calm and new perspective for the evening.
I came to look forward to that time to just “be” with my Heavenly Husband. We enjoyed such satisfying moments together that TV didn’t even interest me some nights (!) This time of mind renewal looked different on different nights. It might be praise time, reviewing my Truth Cards or using Barb Raveling’s I Deserve A Donut App or my own Bible study.
Extra Boundaries for TLC
I also tried to listen to what the wisdom of God’s Spirit was nudging me to do to protect myself during a particularly vulnerable time. I decided it was best not to buy or bake any sweets/desserts during that time, since those are particularly difficult for me to resist, especially when I’m alone. I also knew that the later I stayed up, the weaker I became. I was more likely to make choices I’d regret later. Plus, I need my rest—after all, I’m growing a baby! So my other boundary was to be in my bed at 9:30 on weeknights and by 11 on weekends.
Accountability
I knew that on my own, I’d be less likely to finish strong. I tend to thrive with that extra boost of encouragement. So, I called up my friend Molly. We met in one of the Thin Within online Facebook groups and really hit it off. We periodically text or call so I knew she’d be willing to help. She was so kind to touch base with me daily and encourage me that we were doing those two weeks together. Even when I had a disastrous day, it really helped me to Observe and Correct, when I had to reflect back and report in about what had happened and the choices I had made.
God was so gracious during the time my husband was away. He answered prayers and gave me extra energy, grace, and patience with the kids. He kept everyone safe and gave me strength to survive fever and floods! He is so Good.
So whether you have a challenging weekend coming up or a new life situation that has you baffled…I pray these ideas will prove useful to you. I have to remember: the main thing is the Main Thing—Jesus! He’s the one who empowers me to walk wisely in the way he instructs me to go. Keeping my eyes focused on the Author and Perfector of our faith is what makes life full and satisfying, regardless of my outward circumstances.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Emily lives in South Korea with her husband and 2.1 children. She enjoys being the token American in her neighborhood and baking for the Korean neighbors. She is grateful for the chance to lead worship in their small “expat church”. Like most mothers, she’s also good at multitasking–like cooking and putting on bandaids, rubbing four feet while reading two books and driving while chewing gum and talking on FaceTime with family back home.
Thanks, Emily!
If you are a pregnant mom, won’t you post here and let us know? We would love to have a little support community right here on the blog for you all who are hoping to navigate the waters of your pregnancy (and after) while applying the Thin Within principles. Not only does Thin Within “work” during pregnancy to minimize weight gain, but many women LOVE the way they feel when they do this! EVEN when pregnant!
Image courtesy of scottchan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
We’ve all heard it—“Get your body back” after having a baby. It’s in the media. It’s on the magazines at the check-out (usually criticizing or giving applause to the “success” of a celebrity that just had a baby). The fitness industry feeds into it. Comments are said from family. The pressure is there. Basically, it’s everywhere and frankly, it’s staring us in the face when we try (yet again) to try to slip those pre-pregnancy jeans on again (and they still don’t fit). So it’s there, as plain as day, that after we have a baby, we think we have to do everything in our power to work on “getting our body back”.
But guess what mamas? We need to let go of that pressure! “Let it go, let it go…” Oh wait, sorry, Queen Elsa gets me every time. *chuckle* Seriously though, LET IT GO! Whew!
When I was pregnant with my daughter Jeralyn, my dear own mama encouraged me to slather on the creams and lotions to prevent stretch marks. My thoughts were, “I didn’t try for 7 years to get pregnant to prevent stretch marks!” And I didn’t use one cream. Nothing. Zip. Nada. None. (And I had and still have no stretch marks even after having 3 babies—not sure why because I was gladly going to welcome them).
So I wonder what would happen if we all looked at our bodies after having a baby as a blessing instead of this thing we have to “get back”? What if we remembered the miracle of a baby when we see those stretch marks? What if instead of grimacing at our “extra-ness” after having a baby, we remembered those women who are doing everything in their power and spending a lot of money trying to get the blessing that made those extra parts? I certainly didn’t care if I had stretch marks because I waited so long for my baby girl—and now I need to remember that when it comes to the weight and extra-ness department.
Ladies, YOU are blessed to have carried a baby! God knit those babies in your womb! And they were fearfully and wonderfully made! We were made for this!
To be very honest, you may never get your body back. Say what??!! (Don’t make that face).
Personally, I never got my body back after having my daughter. I tried. I released all of the weight, but my body was still carrying a little pooch. And then I still had that same pooch after having my son. And that was after getting to what I believe is my God-given set weight. And I’m pretty sure that once I am at my set weight again after having my second son, the pooch will probably be hanging around (quite literally—hope you can see the humor in this). But you know what—that’s okay! I would rather be free and be at my natural, healthy weight than chasing after skinny and worshiping some deaf, dumb, and blind skinny idol. I am so done with all of that! A diet will only make me gain it all back and more. I don’t have the time or energy to obsess about some crazy exercise program (I just want to run, walk, hike and do the strength training my body enjoys (and needs)). I don’t want to succumb to fasts, cleanses, shakes, or crazy exercise programs.
When the day is done and I know I’ve mostly eaten 0-5 (this isn’t about perfection) and I’ve moved my body in a way that it enjoys, then I know I’ve done what I can. And if I still have the pooch, so be it.
I’ve actually heard of some women who don’t want to have babies because they don’t want to lose their body. In a way, that makes me very sad to hear because children are a blessing from the Lord. I’m sure any woman that’s been trying to have a baby for years would be like BRING IT ON. And by “it”, I mean the stretch marks, the extra-ness, the pooch, etc. I know this because I was one of them. And it hurt my ears to hear women complaining about their bodies after having a baby because I so badly wanted a baby.
“You may have big scars, stretch marks, and loose skin that bothers you. You might not have time to exercise the way you used to. All of these things can be seen as an offense against us—against our bodies…our bodies are tools, not treasures. You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form…Motherhood uses your body in a way that God designed it to be used…But motherhood is what your stomach as made for—and any wear and tear that it shows is simply the sign of a well-used tool. We are not to treat our bodies like museum pieces. They were not given to us to preserve, they were given to us to use. So use it cheerfully, and maintain it cheerfully. When you are working hard to lose the baby weight (as you may need to), think of it as tool maintenance. You want to fix your body up in order to be able to use it some more. It might be used for more children, or it might be used to take care of the children you have. We should not be trying to fix it up to put it back on a shelf out of harm’s way or to try to make ourselves look like nothing ever happened. Your body is a tool. Use it.”*
I read that recently in a book and it really stood out to me. I’m in the thick of this. I’m only weeks past having a baby. So I get this. It’s raw and real right now. It’s so real that some of my shirts and pants don’t fit me. Does this discourage me? Yes. Plain and simple. Yes. Has it brought on thoughts about going on a diet? You bet. These are truths I’ve been speaking to myself about it:
I’m 7 weeks post-partum—I need to relax!
Wear clothes that I feel good in—I may even need to buy a few things that are more comfortable in the meantime.
Enjoy where I’m at right now—enjoy the baby and stop focusing on my body, body, body.
Eat and exercise 0-5—that’s God’s perfect boundaries for me and the best maintenance plan!
The “extra-ness” is because a little miracle took place in my womb! I am blessed!
Diets fail 99.5% of the time! Only .5% of people have lasting success on a diet! No thank you!
I am beautiful, loved and accepted just as I am!
I recently found this really great blog post talking about “getting your body back”. It has great tips on how to stop buying into the message that we have to “get our body back or else!” The media and our culture plays so much into what is deemed “acceptable”. But it’s not about our outward appearance, it’s about our heart and who we are in Christ. We are more than our weight, size, and body.
Am I saying you shouldn’t want to release weight after having a baby? No. What I’m saying is, even after releasing the weight, you may not have the same body you had before your pregnancy—ever. Or maybe you will. But reality is, your body changes after having a baby. And wouldn’t it be better to accept that (now) instead of trying to fight it, force it, and hate it into something else?
“Scars and stretch marks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work…So realize that your body is a testimony to the world of God’s design. Carry the extra weight joyfully until you can lose it joyfully. Carry the scars joyfully as you carry the fruit of them. Do not resent the damages that your children left on your body.”*
Ladies, we have so much to be thankful for. So when you look into the mirror and you see the marks left on your body because of having a baby, smile and thank the Lord because it’s a good thing. They are signs of such beautiful blessings. And then go kiss your baby (even if they have babies of their own). And if you are one of those babies, thank your mama for bearing the marks to bring you into this world…and tell her that she’s beautiful and that you love her!
I had sweet baby Joel 5 days ago (when I started writing this). He came right on his due date (February 12th) weighing 7lb 4 oz (my smallest baby) and 20 inches long. He is healthy and sweet and sleepy. He does all of the things newborns do, including keeping his parents up at all hours of the night. He is a sweet addition to our family. We are all adjusting to the changes a newborn brings, and that includes adjusting to my post-pregnancy body. In fact, I think we can all use a little “adjusting” to our body. By adjusting, I mean accepting, loving, and embracing your body right where it’s at–no matter where you are at in life, no matter your current size.
I was inspired to write this post as I was laying down resting today. Suddenly, I realized that my belly was no longer rounded, but flat (at least as I was laying down) and squishy. Obviously, I knew that my baby belly was gone, but it was just this deep realization that the baby is no longer taking up residence in my womb and that my body is slowly going back to its “normal” shape and size. And instead of feeling this pressure that I *have* to reach my pre-pregnancy size, I felt this beautiful acceptance that I just had a baby and that my body is beautiful as it is. I felt my squishy belly and thanked God for the beautiful miracle that just took place. I give the Lord the glory and thanks that I’m not obsessing about getting back to a certain size, but that I can accept my body right where it’s at today.
So what is it like to experience eating 0-5 before, during, and after pregnancy? It’s amazing! As I’ve said before, eating 0-5 works no matter what and that includes all seasons of life, including pregnancy and after baby comes. My body knows exactly what it needs. Pregnancy isn’t an excuse to “eat for two” and breastfeeding is the same. Although, I find that I’m much more hungry while breastfeeding than while pregnant. And that makes sense because the body needs a lot more fuel to produce milk for baby. It’s pretty amazing how it really all comes together. I don’t want to spend too much time talking about how TW works with breastfeeding (that will be for a future post); I wanted to expound more on accepting my body after having baby.
During my pregnancy, I had my times of struggling with thoughts of being tempted to go back to a diet after having a baby. But the Lord has clearly shown me how diets do NOT work (95% of diets fail and you gain the weight back plus more over time). I struggled with thoughts about my body. I remembered that I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans 2 weeks after having my 2nd child and I felt this pressure that I had better get back to that by then or if not sooner. Wow, such unnecessary pressure I put on myself! (A few days after I started writing this post, I am in the next size down jeans. So I’m not at my pre-pregnancy jeans size, but almost–praise God! And a few weeks after starting this post, I’m able to [mostly] fit into my regular sized jeans). But praise the Lord because my mindset is totally different now. I’m going to love my body and accept it right where it’s at. I’m going to do that by smiling at myself in the mirror and thanking the Lord for my body. I’m going to cherish and respect this body God has blessed me with by being satisfied with His provision and eat between hunger and satisfaction (0-5). I’m going to wear clothes that fit my present body.
One thing I wasn’t able to do much during my pregnancy was exercise. I had all of these different physical things going on and it just wasn’t working to exercise on a regular basis. I’m really looking forward to exercising again, but that could be weeks from now. I will rest and respect my body. I’m making an exercise goal, but I promise it’s not anything extreme or crazy. I’m going to exercise in ways that I enjoy and I’m going to wait until my body is ready and I’m well-rested. I’m no longer going to put this crazy pressure on myself to have that “beach body”. I’m not going to make my body a slave. I’m going to give it the love, acceptance, and respect it deserves. I am a child of God first and foremost. I’m not going to conform to this world’s image; I’m all done with that.
These are not empty words. These are all truths the Lord has been working and working on getting into my head (renewing of the mind). I am not a number on a scale or the size of my jeans. I am not my pre-pregnancy body. I am who I am because of Christ. It’s taken almost 3 years to (finally) accept these truths! I’m so thankful that the Lord is so patient!
Wherever you are in your journey toward freedom, stop and ask yourself: what would happen if I accepted my body as it is, today, in this moment? Would I give it more love? Would eating between hunger and satisfaction happen more naturally? Would I try shoving it into clothing that simply doesn’t fit or wear clothes that fit my present body? Would I compare myself with air-brushed images or say ‘thank you’ to the One who made my body?
I know not everyone reading this just had a baby. Maybe it’s been many years since you had a baby. Maybe one day you would like to have children. Truth is, no matter what your body has done or how it’s changed over the years, you can accept it and love it and respect it right where it’s at. You can honor God’s temple NOW. Stop thinking you will only do this when you are that magic number on the scale (get rid of it!) or when you are “skinny”. Thank Him NOW for the amazing miracles that take place each day in your body, whether it’s grown and birthed a baby, whether it’s gone through some miraculous healing, or even the simplicity of taking you from where you are to where you need to go and doing all of the necessary things needed for life (like breathing). You were knit together by the Lord in your mother’s womb. You were marvelously made!
Our body changes as we go through life. It’s just a fact of life. Let’s embrace and love and accept our body today! Honor your hunger and honor your body by eating within those beautiful boundaries God has so lovingly designed. Take care of yourself. When you look in the mirror, thank God for your body; purposely thanking Him for those parts you aren’t so sure about.
P.S. I found this really great article about the pressure the culture and media plays on women about getting their body back after having a baby and how it’s important to accept our new bodies. Let me know what you think!
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I believe that 0-5 works all the time, no matter what. Like for instance, I know that eating 0-5 works during pregnancy, but I find myself doubting my ability to truly do that. Why is that? Because it’s hard to SEE the evidence of it working, because well, one gains weight while pregnant. It’s just part of the process and every body is different. So throughout my pregnancy I’m constantly wondering, “Is this working?” And then I’ll feel like the rubber doesn’t really meet the road until post-pregnancy. It’s sort of silly, but that’s how it’s been for me the last 2 pregnancies. I guess it’s that unknown. It’s trusting the Lord even when we don’t really SEE the proof.
28 weeks + 5 days pregnant with 3rd baby
Throughout my pregnancy, to be honest, I’ve battled with thoughts of this working after the baby comes. But I KNOW it does! I’ve already done this with my second pregnancy. He’s already been faithful to see me through and to prove to me His ability to help me release excess baby weight. But the thoughts are there, again, this pregnancy. “Does this work? Will I release the weight?” So the diet thoughts pop up. Doubts.
“Sometimes we are like the Israelites. Our newly aquired freedom may feel unsettling, even frightening. At first we may not trust it. We may be tempted to go back to the bondage, sitting around the “pots of meet”–the meal plans and calorie counting–to have something external dictate when, what, and how much we should eat” (Hunger Within, Chapter 3: Grace Not Legalism).
This morning I opened Hunger Within and the Lord showed me that I haven’t been putting my security and trust in Him in this area. He wants me to be so confident in Him and what He’s shown me even if this feels like a weak area. He showed me that I compare myself to others. My mom said something to me recently pertaining to something she and I both read about someone’s weight/health testimony. She said what works for one may not work for another. So true. What she said made me realize that I keep on comparing myself to others and thinking that their way should work for me too, when it clearly doesn’t. And most importantly, I need to lean upon what the LORD has shown me. There are areas of my life that I’m confident in and I feel very strongly and passionate about because the Lord has clearly shown me something. Like for instance, homeschooling: I know the Lord has called me to homeschool and I believe it’s for the long haul. I have peace in that. There are those rare times I question it, but otherwise I’m strong in my conviction of what the Lord has shown me. But when it comes to this food thing, I don’t feel as strong. I waver based on what is before my eyes, what I hear, etc. And it’s interesting, because I know the Lord has clearly shown me that eating 0-5 is His way for me, but I still have moments of doubt. I want to walk in that confidence, trusting Him and not leaning on my own understanding or what the world around me is saying.
Last week, I was looking for a photo in my photos on my phone and I happened upon this photo (above) of myself from last spring (May 25, 2015). Now, when I saw this photo, I was like, “Wow, I looked pretty good!” But then I remembered still struggling with accepting my body. And now I see how ridiculous it was for me to be so hard on myself. At this time, I had recently released about 3 more pounds (I talked about this in my Counterfeit Hunger post). I believe I was very close to my natural, God-given size. But I still found myself doubting. The enemy was right there saying it still wasn’t enough…that *I* wasn’t enough. What a stinkin’ liar! He wants us to doubt and he uses the same ole lie, “Did God really say?” You know, the same lie he used in the Garden of Eden. In this example, the lies would be, “Does eating 0-5 really help release weight?” “Do you really think you look good? Look at [name that body part].”
I’m sharing this picture not to be like, “Oh look at me!” But because I want to share how the enemy gets in there and tells us we aren’t okay when we really are. I know why I still wasn’t satisfied with where my body was; it was because I was comparing it to the images of the “perfect body” we see splattered around. You know, those Photoshopped, air-brushed photos. But it wasn’t just those images, it was what I was seeing on social media. Or it was me comparing myself to the fitness gurus I’ve seen on workout videos. The enemy will always give us something in which to compare ourselves if we are not satisfied in our present circumstances. I felt that my body wasn’t good enough, that I needed to try harder. I was doubting. I didn’t feel good enough–and that I shouldn’t be satisfied until I reached some level of fitness or “skinny”.
“Let’s face it, there always will be someone prettier, stronger, more handsome, or more successful than you, and the media images will continue to hold up standards of beauty and perfection that no one can match” (Hunger Within, Chapter 5: Worth Not Shame).
On May 27, 2015 (two days after that photo was taken) I wrote this in my journal: “I am doubting God when I am thinking about eating another way (diet). I am saying I would rather trust the world and have no peace and have confusion than to trust God and have faith and peace. Do NOT be conformed to this world! The world’s way changes.”
And that’s so true. The “image” the world accepts has changed SO much over the years, but that’s a whole other discussion.
I really want to stand securely in what the Lord has shown me. I don’t want to waver when my eyes don’t SEE the proof. I have to walk by faith and not by sight. I have to believe God’s way for me is perfect. He doesn’t want me to obsess. He wants me to follow His peace. He wants me to trust Him and rest in Him. In fact, that’s His one little word He’s given me this year for 2016: REST.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
My one little word(s) for 2015 was: BE FREE and SERVE. I most definitely feel more FREE than I have in a long time. I’m not feeling as burdened by the heaviness of food obsession or body occupation. My journal is filled with less “woe is me I ate too much” and more of scripture prayer declaring what the Lord has done, is doing, and will do. My relationship with Him has been strengthened. I understand His grace so much more than I have ever in my 34 years of life. He has definitely been at work! And now He wants me to REST in Him.
Resting means putting my confidence and security in Him. Is He faithful to watch over His word? Yes! Is He faithful to fulfill His promises? YES!!! God is able. So I need to stop comparing myself to others. I need to be completely confident in what He has shown me and stop wavering based on what someone else says or does or looks like.
I spent most of 2015 off of Facebook and, at times, Instagram because it creates doubt, comparison, and obsession. Right now, it’s not a safe or healthy place for me to be. This is a personal issue. I’m just not strong enough (yet) to see all of that stuff in my face (especially this time of year) and to be able to turn down the temptation to research about diets. It’s been a stronghold that the Lord has been helping me overcome. I share that to encourage you that if there’s something in your life that is feeding the doubt, then back away from it. Prayerfully consider eliminating it. Doubt is like temptation to not believe what God says. And temptation leads to sin. The Lord showed me that the social media arena is an area of weakness for me. I do so much better without it. Again, that is my personal struggle with social media; it may be something completely different for the next person.
What causes you to doubt success in your Thin Within journey? Are you doubting that 0-5 works? There are lots of testimonies to read if you want to see “proof”. Build up your faith by renewing your mind in God’s word. Ask Him to show you His truth about what He wants for you in this journey toward freedom from comparison, food indulgence, not being satisfied, etc. He will be faithful to show you.
Christina, has done a great job in this video sharing with us how Thin Within–eating between the boundaries of physical hunger and physical satisfaction–works ALL the time…even when pregnant!
By the time this is posted, Baby Smith might have entered the world! 🙂
Here is what Christina says about this video:
“One thing I really wanted to emphasize in this video is that eating 0-5 works no matter what. And it sure has worked during my pregnancy. Praise God! There is no magical eating plan. No one is going to tell you what foods to eat. We are completely free through Christ to choose our palate. No matter what you have going on in your life, whether you deal with food allergies, food intolerances, or your activity level, abilities, metabolism, whether you exercise or not, your age, whether you are pregnant, breastfeeding, etc., 0-5 works! Our body has been fearfully and wonderfully made! God has designed it in such a way that we can know when we are hungry and know when we’ve had enough to eat. It’s so awesome!”
How About You?
Do you think you have the exception to the fact that 0 to 5 eating works consistently whether you are an athlete, more sedentary, pregnant, lactating, or not? If so, will you take your “exception” to the Lord and ask him if it is possibly an excuse to keep your eating from his direction? (Ouch! I can’t believe I just said that…)
Emily lives in South Korea with her husband and 2.1 children. She enjoys being the token American in her neighborhood and baking for the Korean neighbors. She is grateful for the chance to lead worship in their small “expat church”. Like most mothers, she’s also good at multitasking–like cooking and putting on bandaids, rubbing four feet while reading two books and driving while chewing gum and talking on FaceTime with family back home. 
