Truth Lists for the Real-Life Journey

Truth Lists for the Real-Life Journey

If you’ve been connected with Thin Within for longer than ten minutes, you’ve heard Heidi and Christina talk about Truth Lists.

These can help you get a breakthrough in an area of your life that is currently tripping you up, keeping you bound, or bringing you confusion or downright misery.

 

A Truth List is an excellent tool for renewing your mind. In fact, I’d call it “mind renewing on steroids”! Or a “fast-track to a sound mind” in an area you know you’re not sound in! It can really pack a punch to any wrong thinking that’s currently holding you captive, ineffective, or stymied in a certain area.

There is no one best or right way to do a Truth List. You just want it to include truths that will help you view a real-life situation the way God views it — which is the only right way, because God’s way is the only way that will bring healing and wholeness! Nothing else can or will free us from our wrong thinking — thinking that can derail us, spiral us downward into sadness or depression, or take us in a wrong direction. 

How to make one? Where to start? … Just with something anything that is currently bothering you, keeping you from walking in victory, joy, or freedom, or something that continually nags at you, robbing you of peace.

As you will see below, each Truth List is completely different. None of them followed any rules. Each has its own style and focus. Some are long, some are short.

Some were shared in our small coaching group, where I gathered them for this article, and one of them I transcribed from a porch chat by Christina.

I share these with you today in hopes that they will open up for you the wonderful world of creating a Truth List for a real-life aspect of your journey!

 

 


Truth List about My Weakened Physical Condition

by Heidi

 

What is true:  I am not my activity level. I am not my energy level.

However, God’s truth about this is that…

🌷 I am a child of the king no matter what my energy level.

🌷 I am a princess bride.*

🌷 No matter how I feel physically, I am part of a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a person who belongs to God.

🌷 No matter what condition my body is in, I have been called out of darkness and into his marvelous light to declare his praises…

🌷 And that is who I am most fundamentally. No matter how I feel physically or what infection I may be fighting or what blood clot is in my body, if any, I have been purchased with the precious blood of Christ.

🌷 No matter what I look like or how emaciated my body may be, no matter how little muscle or how weak I am physically, I am the temple of the Holy Spirit.

 

 

*And, speaking of “princess bride,” I have a special treat for you!! Here is the beautiful Princess-Bride Heidi herself on her Wedding Day, with several of her Thin Within sisters! (From left to right:  Emily Felts (featured in the next section), me / Barb Shelton, Christina Motley, Heidi Bylsma Epperson, Judy Halliday (founder of Thin Within!), Jan Tabrizi, and Karon Ruiz)

 

And here are Heidi and her handsome Prince-Groom, Michael Epperson! (Wedding Day: June 29,2019)  Michael MADE the chocolate cake, which was amaaaazing!!!

 

 


Truth List about Restoration and Freedom

by Heidi, Emily, and Bridget

 

Heidi asked our small coaching group: “Please share the truths you have added (or could add) to your truth cards or truth list from Hunger Within chapter 2.”

The first ones with the pink flowers 🌸 are by Heidi; the next ones with the white flowers 🌼 are from Emily; and the last ones with the sunflowers 🌻 are from Bridget. Thank you, ladies, for sharing your contributions!

 

Heidi:

🌸 I CAN be healed and restored through God’s power.

🌸 I CAN be set free from disordered eating.

🌸 In my attempts to “manage” or “control” the impact food and eating has on me, I create entanglements that enslave me even more!

🌸 Fixed formulas of restraint and a constant fear of failing will never work.

🌸 Any formula that prevents failure also prevents freedom!

🌸 I need to develop new and appropriate coping techniques to replace the disordered behaviors of my past.

🌸 It is entirely possible that all of the changes that need to be made are so threatening to me that I will be tempted to back away from having my grave clothes unwrapped and keep the grave clothes bound around me. I may even want to flee back into the tomb and pull the stone over the entrance.

 

Emily Felts:

🌼 As I accept the challenge of freedom and resolve the pain hidden beneath my eating, I am free to enjoy a peaceful relationship with food and my body.

🌼 God’s gift to me is resurrection — restoration and recovery.

🌼 Recovery from disordered eating is not only possible; it is what God intends.

🌼 Today I present myself to Jesus, ready to have my grave clothes removed: to give voice to my hunger within, and — in His presence — to listen to myself, body, mind, and soul.

🌼 God is in control of this process and he will comfort and sustain me.  (from page 62)

🌼 My security and significance come from experiencing an intimate relationship with God.

🌼 An intimate relationship with God begins as I believe I can be restored and that God accepts me as I am, with all my flaws and frailties.

 

Bridget:

🌻 God’s restoration work is far more wonderful than the temporary relief of our weight problems.  (from page 47)

🌻 By eating low fat and living by rules, I’ve created entanglements that enslave me even more. Hunger within is still active and rules will not kill it. Rules will not bury it because it’s not dead. It is very much alive.

🌻 Food rules and restrictions will not set me free.

🌻 Losing weight will not change my life.

🌻 Diets promise freedom and deliverance but don’t deliver it.  (from page 46)

🌻 As He did for Lazarus, Jesus waited to help me:

  1. so that I’d be ready to hear and obey;
  2. because He knows that as sick and desperate as I am, this will not end in death; and 
  3. that HE will be glorified in this deliverance and restoration.

 

 

 


Truth/Gratefulness List about my Teenage Daughter

by Christina

 

Those of you who have, or have had, teenage daughters know that it can be extremely challenging at times to communicate with and deal with some of the issues,  communication challenges, and struggles that they have as they are growing up.

When I was having a particularly difficult season with her, I decided I needed to come up with a truth list, but I also needed to practice gratitude for her, so I incorporated gratitude into it. So whenever we were together and I was having a hard time, those thoughts of gratitude would came up in my mind and my heart and renew my mind about her.

I also want to invite God into the situation of parenting a teenager. So, for example, I might have a prayer time where I am focusing on just gratitude for her.

🌻 Lord, I am so thankful that she and I can get together and talk.

🌻 I am so thankful that she still opens up to me and tells me secret things, and confides in me.

🌻 I’m thankful that she confides in me about her friends and relationships.

🌻 Lord, I am so thankful for the times that she and I laugh together! We get silly and laugh and roll on the floor and giggle and have such a good time!

🌻 Lord, I am so thankful for my snuggle times with her! Even though, she sometimes pushes me away, as teenagers do, we still get on the couch and watch a favorite show together and snuggle.

🌻 Thank you so much that she and I go on coffee dates together. She loves that, and it draws her back to me. It’s a little something I can do for her.

🌻 Lord, thank you for my daughter. She is creative. She is smart. She is funny. She is passionate. She is a good friend to others. And I am grateful for all her good qualities right now.

 

 


Truth List Regarding Insecurity and Inadequacy

by Christina

 

This truth list is written in the form of a paragraph rather than a list, but it’s all the same truth. And I have been praying through it often lately! I am hoping that God will use it in some way with one of you!

I am really struggling with insecurity and inadequacy. I have just prayed through the insecurity questions in Barb Raveling’s book, I Deserve a Donut, and she is right. God’s view of me is so completely different than my view of myself! And what does the world see? “Oh… she has a lot going on but she can handle it.” And there is a part of me that fears that the people out there beyond my family are thinking “She doesn’t have time for me.  …  She doesn’t care about me.  …  I am not important to her.”

I have been trying so hard to take care of everything and everyone, and there is just not enough of me to go around. I am not strong enough, not healthy enough, not wise enough, and there is just not enough time to do it all. I have been giving myself no margin to just rest and be.

Even my rest times have been busy, taken quickly in the living room and working on things while laying down.

God hasn’t called me to be everything to everyone. God hasn’t called me to be perfect. God hasn’t called me to live and breathe in my own strength. God hasn’t called me to figure it all out or know all the answers…

God has called me to be His. To let Him. To submit to Him. To rest in Him. To trust Him. To surrender to Him. To let Him be my strength. To invite Him into everything, and I mean everything.

God has called me to lay down my weapons, to stop striving and to let Him lead me, even carry me at times. God has called me to give Him my heart. But there is peace in surrender. Sweet, pure, perfect and supernatural peace. And that is what I am desperately longing for.

 

 

 


Truth List about Having an Illness

by Christina

 

Here is the Truth List that Jesus and I put together a while back about one of my biggest challenges — my illness. You can easily change it up to fit your own needs. Hope this helps and encourages you in some way!

🌳 Jesus is my healer.

🌳 Jesus is healing me.

🌳 Jesus is in full control of the Lyme Disease treatment process.

🌳 Jesus knows and sees what I am going through… every symptom, its severity, its duration, and how I am limited because of it.

🌳 Jesus knows that the way I feel physically is very closely connected to the way I feel emotionally and spiritually.

🌳 Jesus sees and understands what I am grieving as a result of Lyme Disease. He grieves with me.

🌳 Jesus has not forgotten me.

🌳 Jesus is not confused or tired or absent or busy with other things.

🌳 Jesus hears and answers every prayer that is said for me by myself or someone else.

🌳 Jesus is in control of the timing of this journey and His timing is always perfect.

🌳 Jesus is using this trial for His own perfect plans and purposes in my life, and in my family and friends’ lives.

🌳 Jesus is strong in my weakness.

🌳 Jesus will provide what is needed for whatever He is asking of me.

🌳 Jesus is my Savior… not people, not food, not distraction, not what I can do or accomplish.

🌳 Jesus calls me to surrender to Him every moment of every day in the midst of this challenging journey.

🌳 Jesus calls me to love Him with my whole heart and to let Him order and arrange and prioritize my days.

🌳 Jesus will complete the work that He is doing in me.

🌳 Jesus is protecting me daily from much, much worse.

🌳 Jesus is doing a work in my heart.

🌳 Jesus will cause everything about this journey to work together for my good and the good of those I love.

🌳 Jesus is mine and I am His.

🌳 Jesus has chosen me to be His beloved girl, redeemed and washed clean and radiant in His sight.

🌳 Jesus does absolutely nothing outside of His boundless love and relentless grace for me.

🌳 Jesus will never fail me.

🌳 Jesus is with me.

🌳 Jesus has me.

 

 

 


Truth List about Eating with my Family:

by Christina

 

🍔 Eating with my family is a precious gift from God.

🍔 My family includes three fun, silly, interesting teenagers and I love the stories that are shared at the table!

🍔 In a few years we will have an empty nest and I will miss family dinners.

🍔 Truly celebrating and enjoying family dinners has nothing to do with eating too much food.

🍔 Eating God’s way at dinner honors God and the precious gift he has given me in my family.

🍔 Being the last one to take a first bite ensures that I am being a servant of my family.

🍔 When I take even smaller portions, eat at a ridiculously slow pace, choose water as a beverage and listen to my body I am surrendering to God’s way of eating and that feels GOOD.

🍔 True freedom is being able to say “That’s just enough.”

🍔 God’s way is always best for me!

 

 

 


Truth List about Chocolate Chip Bundt Cake & Anything Chocolate Chip:

by Christina

 

This has to do with emotional attachment to a food. There is a certain cake in our family that is very very important. Why? What’s the big deal?

Well, growing up, my mom was not a cook or a baker, and so she had just a couple of recipes that were very special. She needed some kind of go-to for potlucks, birthdays, and special events. She had one cake that she made my entire childhood – a Chocolate Chip Bundt Cake. It’s really easy to make, and it’s absolutely delicious!

That means every birthday, every gathering with others we loved and cared for, every church potluck, every time people came to visit, we had that cake! It was also special to me because my mom would involve my brother and I while she made it! And it would be a big deal… we would put in the eggs, and mix the batter, and make sure to alternate the flour and the sour cream…  it was like an art on how to make this ONE special cake! And then we got to lick the bowl – who gets the spoon and the beaters? So you can imagine how special this cake was in our family!

Several years ago, my mom wasn’t able to make it anymore because of the Alzheimer’s Disease. But still do! I can make it in my sleep. I can whip it up in 10 minutes and have it in the oven. I try to make it often, and not just for special occasions. I also make it for my parents because it’s special to them.

(Here’s Maddie — center — with one of these cakes for her birthday! That’s Christina’s mom, Silke, on the left, and Christina on the right!)

So you can imagine how emotionally attached I am to this cake! And how impossible it seems to eat 0-5 with it. When I make the batter, I just want to eat the whoooole thing!

For years I didn’t really understand why! I thought: What is the big deal?!?!? Why do I have NO self control whatsoever with this one food? It’s a go-to for me, if I’m feeling very sad, or very angry, or upset…  or celebratory!

And everything chocolate chip has become a go-to for me because of that cake: chocolate chip muffins, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip granola bars and scones, chocolate chips in yogurt, ice cream, chocolate chip cookie dough, chocolate chip mint ice cream, and shakes…

One day the Lord and I sat down together and we did some journaling. Well, *I* did the writing, and I tried to listen while He talked. I asked:

“Lord, I want to understand! I don’t want this to master me! Will You help me? Show me what’s going on here? And show me what is true from Your perspective so that I can make and enjoy this cake! And not eat to an 8 every time I do, and then I feel awful!”

So first, He showed me why I have this very strong emotional attachment to anything chocolate chip. (All the above that I’ve shared.)

And here is my very short Truth List about Chocolate Chip Cake: Only three truths, but it’s enough; it’s power-packed and it’s enough to help me each time I’m getting ready to bake it or eat it, or anything chocolate chip…

🍪 Chocolate chips do not own me; they remind me of love and nurturing from my mom and Omama.

🍪 I am not mastered by anything chocolate chip. I’m not! It’s just food! I’m NOT!

🍪 Chocolate chip foods do not provide comfort, love, nurturing, energy, or healing. They don’t! They don’t provide ANY of that!

 

🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

 

As a special treat (quite literally), I thought it would be fun to see Christina’s Chocolate Chip Bundt Cake recipe itself! And she graciously consented to allowing me to include it right here! She doesn’t need it herself as she has it memorized and can make it in her sleep! But she wrote this one for a friend and had her get a picture of it just for this blog post! (Yes, she is that wonderful!)

 

And it looks like it is well used! Hopefully the Truth Lists in this article will be, too!

(Be sure to use Christina’s last Truth List if you make this recipe or anything chocolate chip, if this is a challenge for you as well!)

 


 

Thank you, Christina and Heidi for your candid contributions to this blog post!

And blessings on you, our dear reader and fellow sojourner, and on your process of using any/all of the above Truth Lists, as well as coming up with your own! – which we would love to see! Please feel free to share in a comment!

 


 

 

Children & Thin Within

Children & Thin Within

My daughter after starting solids.

My daughter after starting solids.

I believe we can learn a lot from observing children and their eating patterns.  It’s really quite fascinating when they are purely eating intuitively.  I wanted to share a bit of what I have observed and learned over the years.

Years before I had my daughter, I was aware of how children are born normal, intuitive eaters.  I had spent some time with a mother who was overly concerned about what her children were eating.  I believe the concern stemmed from a fear that her children would be sickly or unhealthy if they ate certain foods.  One day, these children were in my care.  Her son often asked for food, almost like he was fixated on it.  There was a fresh batch of peanut butter cookies in the cookie jar and he knew it.  After our lunch, he was alluding to the fact that there were cookies in the jar.  I smiled down to him and asked, “Would you like a cookie?”  His face lit up and he said, “Yes!”  I brought the jar down to his level and let him pick a cookie.  I encouraged him to pick the biggest cookie he could find.  And then I asked him to pick out a cookie for me, too.  He was beaming.  We ate that cookies together at the table and savored every delectable bite.  And for the first time, I observed him not fixated on food for the remainder of the time I was with him.  That scene has played back in my mind so many times over the years.  It proved to me that if we are more relaxed about food, that they are more relaxed about food as well.

Years later, this mother realized that she was being controlling about food and asked for my help.  At that time I was battling diet thoughts and overeating, but I knew enough about normal eating to give her some wisdom on the subject.  I encouraged her to allow her children to guide their eating more.  She was so afraid they would only eat candy and sweets at first.  I shared with her that it might be that way for a short season as they learn to navigate their food choices, but that after awhile their palate would balance out.  I encouraged her to offer  a wide variety of choices over time, including the “play food”.  I was so proud of her that she took me up on this challenge.  And now, to this day, her children have well-rounded appetites and enjoy a variety of foods.  They are free to enjoy all foods.  And their mother no longer tries to dictate what they can and cannot eat.  They are healthy, active, and vibrant children and young adults.

Recently, a mother shared with me that her 10 year old daughter had been watching an episode of The Biggest Loser.  Her daughter came to her and with concern, told her mother that she wanted to go on a diet.  The mother’s heart felt broken for her daughter.  When she told me about this, I encouraged her that we have to be so careful what we allow our children to see and hear when it comes to dieting, eating, and how we talk about and view our body.  Children are sponges, and they are soaking up these things.  Even as adults, we can be influenced by such things.  My heart is saddened to know that we, as a society, have come to the point that young children are concerned about their weight in an unhealthy way.  There is so much emphasis put on our outward image, from small children to adults.

As adults, parents, and guardians, I believe we have some responsibility in how we influence children when it comes to eating and body image.  I believe children are born knowing when they are hungry and when they have had enough food.  It’s simple, biological knowledge that they don’t even really focus on.  It’s innate.  Intuitive.  Natural.  But somewhere along the line, children are told to eat more, that they ate too much, that they are too thin, or that they are too big for their age.

I have to admit it’s been fun to watch my daughter as an intuitive eater.  I have learned so much from her about what it means to be a normal eater.  I’m thankful for the wisdom God has given me about being a normal, Thin Within eater.  I’ve read enough books and observed about this subject to see what discourages a child or adult from being a normal eater, and I take that knowledge and do my best to apply it to my daughter.

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I do my best to offer my daughter a variety of food.  I try my best not to pressure her to eat more than she needs.  If she says she’s “all done”, I trust her judgment.  I never say, “Eat more peas and then you can have a cookie.”  I don’t encourage her to try everything on her plate.  I offer her a plate with 3-4 food items, and I let her pick and choose what she wants to eat.  Sometimes she eats all the food, sometimes she eats only a few bites.  Sometimes she out eats me!  She loves fruit, but sometimes she will eat other foods before eating the fruit.  Sometimes she eats all of the fruit before eating other things on her plate.  I just observe and I don’t make any critical comments about what or how she’s eating.  Often, she will ask for more fruit even before eating other foods on her plate.  I will put a little bit more fruit on her plate and say, “All done after this, then you can eat what’s on your plate.”  She understands that I will not be giving her more fruit and that if she’s still hungry, she can eat the remaining food on her plate.  Sometimes I will plan ahead with giving her only half of the fruit I planned to give her, and then when she asks for more, I give her the other half.

I also know that over a week’s time that she will eat a wide variety of foods.  I don’t have to concentrate on if she’s getting enough fruits or vegetables verse starches.  This isn’t a science experiment–this is her being a natural-born eater.  I want to be as hands-off as I can be.  I’ve watched her try certain foods and then try to wash that distastefulness down with milk if she doesn’t like a particular food.  And then I will watch her eat that same food again a few weeks later and eat it all up.  I’ve heard it can take up to 12 times before a child will actually like a certain food.  Of course, there are foods I knew she doesn’t care for, but I still offer a little bit of them when we have them for a meal.  I don’t encourage her to eat them.  I offer and let her decide.

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Allowing your children to do what I’ve mentioned above may sound scary and out-of-control.  It may make you feel uncomfortable allowing your children to be in charge of their palate.  I truly believe the more hands-off you can be, the better.

What if your child is already feeling restricted in their eating?  I believe you can help turn it around and guide them back to being a normal eater.  You can use the same Thin Within principles for children as you can for adults.  It may be harder for you, as the parent or guardian to let this go.  Maybe you have fears that they will be overweight or eat in an out-of-control manner if you allow them to eat the foods they enjoy.  I want to encourage you to prayerfully consider what’s at stake and ask the Lord for wisdom.  He will help you!  Also, if you are being an example to them of what it means to be a normal eater, that will help SO much!  I believe it starts with the parent.

I read a story once about a mother who was controlling her child’s food consumption.  The mother took her child to a nutritional counselor.  The counselor asked the mother what her child’s favorite food was.  It was M&M’s.  The counselor encouraged the mother to buy bags of M&M’s and to fill a pillowcase with the M&M’s.  Her child was to have complete control over these M&M’s.  The mother was hesitant, but she did as the counselor suggested.  At first, the child slept, bathed, and did everything with this pillowcase of M&M’s by it’s side.  The mother was not allowed to say anything about when the child ate the candies.  After a few days the child was no longer carrying around the pillowcase.  The child realized that it could have those M&M’s whenever there was a desire.  The novelty wore off.  This same sort of thing happens to me when I have a certain kind of food around for a long time: I get tired of it being around, but I know I can have it at any time.  It no longer has a hold on me because I know it’s always going to be there and if I run out, I can buy or make more.  The conclusion to the M&M story: as the mother relaxed about food and allowed her child to actually eat what he/she enjoyed without criticism or control, the child also relaxed and over time, lost the extra weight and was no longer fixated on food.

Your child, just like an adult, may choose more play food at first when you surrender controlling their food intake.  I know I did this.  After awhile my body craved other foods and not so many play foods.  I don’t even focus on what kind of foods I eat.  When I’m hungry, I ask myself what I want to eat.  You can do the same with children without emphasizing about  a particular food being “good”, “bad”, “healthy” or “junk”.  I personally don’t believe in in ‘junk’ food now that I’m more of a normal eater and following the principles of Thin Within.  I believe we should treat all foods as the same, especially when starting out on this journey of becoming a Thin Within eater.  The true emphasis should be on legalizing ALL foods and acknowledging those signs of hunger and fullness.

A child who hasn’t had much of a say in what they eat, will need to build up the trust that no one will dictate or criticize what they eat.  This may take some time, but I truly believe that over time they will be in tune with their hunger levels once again and food won’t be such a fixation.  And again, having an adult being an example of a normal eater makes a huge impact.

Pray about what you are allowing your child to see and hear.  Is it “healthy” for you to watch shows like The Biggest Loser together with your family?  How about those magazines or books?  How do you talk about your body?  How do you talk about your child’s body?

There’s so much more to say about this topic, but I will share this for now.  Some great resources about children and eating: Intutive Eating (3rd Edition) by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch and Raising Fit Kids in a Fat World by Judy Halliday.

How about you?

What can you do to encourage your child to be a normal eater?  Do you desire to be that example in their life?  Are you willing to let go of that control and let God guide?  What can you learn from your little ‘Thin Within’ eater?

Written by: Christina

Teen Girls Wanted!

Hi. Do you have a teen or pre-teen girl living in your home?

I am eager to get the help of some young ladies in developing some ideas for leading a Thin Within group for girls ages 11-17 and their moms or sponsors.

If your teen or pre-teen would like to help, would you please email me? Remove the spaces from this email address and shoot me an email letting me know: t w heidi@ comcast .net

I need to know her name, email address, and age.

Thanks!
Heidi