The Hardest Easiest Thing I’ve Ever Done

“The Hardest Easiest Thing I’ve Ever Done” ~ What kind of crazy oxymoron is this? Let me explain…

It’s taken me 50 years to come to the end of myself. My food addiction started when I was 8 years old. I remember going on diets with Mom who was trying to help me shed pounds. This lasted until I took the reigns at 17 years old with my first diet plan with a very popular weight loss chain.

I was desperate to lose weight! But nothing I tried had lasting success. I could lose it but it always came back with a few more of its friends. I always just gained more and more.

From pills to patches, shaking things on my food and all the popular weight loss plans out there ~ I tried it. I tried everything shy of getting the newest craze of gastric bypass surgery, which was where I drew the line. I felt that if God wanted me to have half of a stomach, He would have created me with one. I knew that wasn’t the answer. Even my doctor suggested I get it. That was when I changed doctors!!

I even went so far as to do a liquid/powder (add water to your meal) very low-carb program with only one meal a day that consisted of real food. To me, that was very drastic and I spent a lot of money doing it.

And while all of this was taking place, I begged for God’s help. I did everything in my power to do, to lose weight to no avail. The only problem was that I didn’t stop what I was doing long enough to listen to God and His plan for me. I was too busy trying to do it myself. To fix myself.

My heart was too crowded for God to step in. So He let me go my own way.

With food on the throne of my heart, how was I going to let it go? I had lived with food in this high place of my heart for 50 years as a counterfeit comforter. It got me through everything. (Or so I thought.) I became a binge eater and an emotional eater and lived in the center of my addiction for decades.

I could not see my life without all of the excess food. Deep down I knew I would have to give it up, but I wasn’t willing to do that.

I believe that, all the while, through all my struggles, God was preparing me for this program ~ Thin Within.

So I woke up one day with one foot. For four years I was bedridden, trapped, lonely, and desperate. I had finally done it to myself. I’d gotten myself into this predicament. It was because of all of my own decisions. I never blamed God for this. I knew it was because of me that I was here, trapped. lt wasn’t His fault; it was mine.

I cried out to God for His help. I began the process of asking Him: “God, how are you going to get me out of this situation?” My life had been changed forever. I would never walk again on my own two feet. This is my new normal and it took me four years to come to this.

His answer was Thin Within. This ministry came into my life and the process started. I had finally come to the end of myself and surrendered to Him. I’m still on the journey, but now it’s so different. The transformation is taking place. Food has a proper place in my life now, and God is on the throne of my heart instead of myself. A new day is dawning!