I was flushed out of hiding…not literal hiding, but hiding from honesty on the Thin Within forums. I was lurking there (and here without much to say this week) with my ideas shoved in the back of my mind wondering if/when I should ‘fess up….

Ok…’fessing up. Here and now.

I seem to have this tendency to go looking for a new book or new thought or new SOMETHING that will be like the quarter being put in the “obedience” slot on my “machine.” Do you know what I mean?

Here is the reality, after all this time:

I know what I need to do to release weight.

I know what I need to do to keep it off.

Or, to get my eyes off my body, another way of thinking about it (which is where I am really trying to get these days…)…is this:

I know what God is asking of me with regard to my eating.

I know that I just flat out need to obey Him.

Yet I keep waiting for another new way of saying it. A “fresh approach.” Someone to just have the magic words that will be like flipping a switch and having everything start working right. Someone who will somehow wave a magic wand and “Presto!” obedience and weight stuff will all happen just peachy keeno perfectly!

The reality is, no matter who says it, no matter how they lost however many pounds, no matter what credentials are behind their name…I have a sin problem!!! I have an obedience problem! This is really challenging me today.

Can any of you relate?

Think about it…if you read my blog before and I probably said it on the Thin Within forums, too, when I was going through the HEAL book “This is a fresh way of saying it.” I basically said the same thing with the Eden Diet book. Good grief. I have SO much “knowledge” about this stuff…I know the drill. I also know the excuses I can use…and no matter what someone says, I could have more excuses than anyone. I know them all!

So…I am back to…what really is my problem is that I am making a choice–to give this moment to God or to grab it for my selfish lusts or self-gratification or self-whatever way of handling this moment. BAH!

Sure, I can read and grab at anything new that comes down the pike. God is God and he may add to my knowledge, but it is my job to “add to my knowledge, SELF-CONTROL.” (2 Peter 1:5) He will help me with this, yes…his Spirit will do it, but I have to die to SELF and what self wants. :-/

Gosh…this is a huge confession. EEEK!

So the bottom line is we — *I* — have to answer to God for if I lived according to the light he has given me. Sure, he uses books to give me additional light sometimes…but all I know is I have to own what I know now.