The thing about blabbing to the world via a blog or Facebook or the Thin Within forums, is that the “world” may be watching to see what happens next. I have this very real sense…arrogant and erroneous as it may be…that the peanut gallery awaits, wondering how I did with my self-required fasting of sweets through Christmas Eve and…well…now what?

So here is my “report.” (Sound of the “tooting of own horn” may be heard in the background…)

Through Christmas Eve, I did “well.” Not perfectly, but almost completely without sweets. I did feel like I lived up to my promise to the Lord pretty well. (More tooting of own horn…)


Pride comes before a fall. So the sound you just heard (following the “tooting of own horn”) is that of a face plant…yes, my own…firmly…

Had you seen me yesterday, you would have thought that I was a raving lunatic…anything and everything that had any sugar content in it at all was eagerly “inhaled” outside of appropriate boundaries. I was a crazed person. I didn’t see this coming. I didn’t feel insane…but my actions betray my mental capacity at the time…Scratch that. I can’t blame it on being “insane” or a deficient mental capacity. I knew exactly what I was doing. And I had an “in your face” prideful attitude about it toward God and anyone who would dare to cast a “knowing” look my way at all!

No, I don’t feel like it was a “deprivation” reaction at all. I felt no deprivation through the 10 days (or so) that I fasted sweets. I felt peace and joy.

I think it was, simply, PRIDE.

Today’s lesson in The Lord’s Table workbook is called “Key to Victory–Ongoing Humility.”

This is one of the things that I have found to be VERY true, in fact, on this journey to release weight, to release attitudes that don’t honor the Lord, and to continue to grow in Him in a way that enables me to honor him with my eating, drinking…and, well, LIFE! If I don’t obtain and maintain and attitude of humility, all is lost for that moment, that hour, that day…

That is what happened to me yesterday.

I share this by way of confession.

Pride causes my guard to be down. I end up “trusting myself” that I can “handle it.” Combine that with an attitude of “God you are so blessed that I would honor you with my life! I have just really impressed you, haven’t I!”

Then, I minimize eating anything at all outside of 0 and 5…and in my case, God has shown me clearly that this is an attitude of pride. (Well, duh…one doesn’t need to be brilliant to see that!)

Once pride is allowed to grow unhindered in any moment at all, it goes nuts like the blackberry brambles I wrote about last summer…it takes over. Like it did for me yesterday until I was literally inhaling all the sugar that was in the house…and that at my relatives’, too. Homemade chocolate truffles, apple pie, peanut butter cup ice cream, lemon bars, homemade cinnamon rolls, Sees candy…and on and on it seems to go. Can you believe it?

So this lesson this morning in TLT workbook, really came home to me. I know this is truth. I have experienced it over the last 2 years and I saw it up close and personal yesterday.

Now we understand what we did wrong, and we get back on our knees (the Christian’s fighting position), humble ourselves before the Lord and ask Him once again for forgiveness and grace. We see how bankrupt we are in ourselves, how needy we are of the Lord, and how dependent we are on Him to win this battle…

Right here, in this position, is where we will win this battle. Right here, in the presence of Almighty God, with our hearts bowed in submission to Him, with the stark realization that we can do nothing apart from Him, is where the flesh loses all its power and where we gain true spiritual strength to mortify the members of our body which are on the earth (Romans 8:13). This attitude of “Help me God lest I perish” and “Give me Jesus or I’ll spin out of control” is the attitude that will win this battle for a lifetime.

(TLT, p. 146-147)

The lesson goes on to describe how one can foster an attitude of humility. This is a great lesson–one of the best in the workbook.

What are ways I will proceed to foster an attitude of humility?

1.) Be sure to begin the day with focused time with the Lord, recommitting myself to His Lordship, taking in His Word, inviting the conviction of the Spirit, time of prayer.

2.) Practicing gratitude through my gratitude blog – It is impossible for pride to continue when I praise God for what He has done and is doing in my life.

3.) For a while, I will choose to add an additional focused time with the Lord in my life…even if it is just 10 minutes…in the mid-afternoon. I begin the day with a posture of humility and then by mid-day I operate as a practical atheist 🙁 acting independently of the Lord and His will.

4.) I will continue to use the 60-60 experiment from Soul Revolution to reconnect with God each hour. I will choose to stop whatever I am doing and intentionally recommit to the Lord’s authority in my life, stating affirmations such as, “Lord, I acknowledge you are the potter and I am the clay. I choose YOUR will in this moment.”

5.) I may need to build a weekly fasting day into my life…or every so often anyhow. I know that a single day fasting of food altogether is something God has used powerfully in my life in the past…not for the purpose of weight loss…or maintenance, but for prayer, to help me be dependent on him. When I am hungry, I sense better than ever that I am at his mercy and have such great need of him. The spiritual fruit from a day spent that way seems to go on.

Lord, I confess that my pride got me into trouble yesterday. I thank you for your forgiveness. In my arrogance, I strutted around, patting myself on the back for having “fasted sweets” for a period of time…Lord, I know that even wanting to do that was your doing in my life. Your strength and power enabled me to do so…it had nothing to do with anything in myself. Yet I allowed myself to consider defective, faulty thoughts of self-glorification. It got me into trouble and my heart was revealed for what it was. I am so thankful for grace, Lord. I resolve to live differently today. I affirm that you are the potter, I am the clay. Have your way with me, Lord. Not my will, but thine be done.