I have planned a few times to post, but just haven’t carved out the time to do it. I am back to the tyranny of a fragmented life. I think I do this when I am in pain…over commit, overextend…and when I am just tired of feeling. It is so noble (or so it seems), so honorable…to be “busy.” I mean what kind of person isn’t busy? Someone who is lazy? Someone who doesn’t have purpose in life?
Maybe the person who isn’t “busy” is someone who is allowing God to establish her priorities.
He says that his commands are not burdensome. Maybe if I feel like life is a burden it is a HINT that I am doing that which is outside his will or not depending on his strength to do what *is* his will. Duh!
I need to declare a sabbath rest for myself. He calls…
to whom he said,
“This is the resting place, let the weary rest”;
and, “This is the place of repose”—
but they would not listen.
13 So then, the word of the LORD to them will become:
Do and do, do and do,
rule on rule, rule on rule;
a little here, a little there—
so that they will go and fall backward,
be injured and snared and captured.
Hmm…sounds like there is a fail safe. He calls me to rest. If I don’t listen, life–even doing what I assume is God’s will for me–becomes a huge burden…a list of dos and don’t…and I will fall.
What’s this have to do with eating? Tons. There is something deeper here. Why the busy-ness? Why do I over-fill my days? Why do I keep saying yes to new projects? Why? Why is it so obvious I am running from something? What is the something I am running from? Why do I run?
What if I am still in my pain, in my need and God lets me feel it longer than I want? What if he doesn’t show up? Will my faith handle that? Will I still trust him? Will I still believe that he will heal?
When will I finally be free of all this introspection that feels so horribly self-centered and myopic? What comes first? My healing? Or focusing in something else? I keep hoping it is the focusing on something else.
But for you who revere my name,
the sun of righteousness will rise
with healing in its wings.
And you will go out
and leap like calves released from the stall.