I have written a lot at this blog about forgiveness over the years. (Just type “forgive” into the search box in the margin and you will see pages of material mentioning this!)
In, summary, God showed me in 2007 that my refusal to forgive was affecting me emotionally and that, in turn, was causing me to look for solace in food. When I went through a challenging process of forgiving anything and everything, anyone and everyone, I could think of, I began being able to really apply the principles of Thin Within and I released the 100 pounds of extra weight I carried on my body. Forgiveness unlocked my *willingness* to surrender food to the Lord.
It is time to take a truth inventory again, to take stock because my eating is out of kilter. Though I am active enough to keep up with myself…it won’t be long before that just isn’t the case. But the point is, there is a *heart* condition that I know the Lord wants to address.
My perfect King has seen fit to ordain a lot of fresh, ONgoing stuff for me to forgive. So, since I am trying to lead an online class of wonderful people through the Thin Within workbook, and since we are on the forgiveness lesson, I get to have a fresh look at my own need to forgive.
While I am not surprised by what I am discovering, I am dismayed. It seems never-ending. A year ago June, my world was shaken to the core by someone very dear to me. Someone who had always been solid, dependable, and a foundation stone in my life. The changes threw me into a tail-spin and I am only beginning to recover. Meanwhile, all the same old issues have continued to go on…
And I find myself just wanting to rest! Even better if it can be with a half gallon of ice cream! Old habits do die so very hard indeed!
Anyhow, if any of you find yourself in a similar place, I just wanted you to know, I can relate. Doing “forgiveness work” is the hardest work on the planet, I am convinced. :-/