I once heard it said that “you can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.” I have been pondering that truth filled statement as I have been studying my true Worth not Shame in Hunger Within. When I think about “yesterday’s junk” in this saying, I think 
of all the baggage or trash that I keep holding onto even though I have learned where my true worth lies and know that I can let go of those things that hold me in the past. But some of those items are so deeply ingrained and the feelings and beliefs that go along with them have become comfortable even though they are negative and it will take an Act of God to break me free from them. Praise God that I am in the place I am right now because I am ready and willing to face them, look at what caused them and allow God through the Holy Spirit to break the chains that hold me to them.
I like to say that I am a positive person. That is the persona I want the world to see and acknowledge. Truthfully though, I really am not. When news comes to me, I immediately think on the negative side of things and roll in the ways (like a pig rolling in the mud) that it is going to negatively affect my life. Why is that? When I look at my life I see a life that has been tremendously blessed. Sure, the LORD has walked my husband and me through trials that would have sent a non-Jesus follower off the deep end. I have had many struggles and hurts that have cut me to the core of my being. But, God saw me through them all and He brought me out on the other side as a stronger and more loving woman. I am always ready to share how He has worked in my life and heart with others who are hurting. So, where does this negative spirit come from and what does my Loving Father want me to do with it?
Let me explain what this current thought is. Today, I worried about money. You may be right there with me. I feel this worry as a “spirit of lack”. I am so familiar with this stinky, evil little spirit for it has followed me around for a long time. I know where it comes from. My husband and I have dealt with unemployment. We had a period of several years where he was unemployed on and off for quite a while. It was painful, but we learned how to tighten our belts and through that stewardship, we were even blessed by God. It was through one of these times that we paid off our house. It was during one of these times that we held two unbelievable garage sales and ended up with enough money to pay bills for a few months. But, I still had fear, even during those times where God was showing Himself faithful and that fear I felt, turned into a spirit of lack. You may ask, “Where are you now?” My husband has been in a solid position for over 3 years. I am in a two solid part-time positions . We are in good shape. But, that little spirit of lack reared its head today and made me really think about why I am feeling this way.
I believe the truth of this whole matter lies within the scripture shared at the top of this blog…Philippians 3:8. When that spirit of lack shows itself, I am looking at certain things as more important than knowing Christ Jesus. When in that negative place I am looking down at me, or looking around at circumstances I don’t have the power to change instead of looking up at my only Source of worth, my only Source of strength, my only Source…period!! He alone takes my shame and spirit of lack and gives me back a beautiful robe of righteousness. All He asks is that I open my hands and give that junk to Him. He gladly takes it from me. All I have to do is place those thoughts and feelings at His feet, to never pick them up again.
This spirit of lack shows itself in our lives in many ways. It could be a lack of funds, a lack of food, a lack of love, a lack of faith. Where do you see it in your life? I have enough money for today, but don’t have enough for what I “want”. Am I still blessed? Yes, I am. I have enough food in my house right now to feed a small army, but do I have the “goodies” that my flesh desires? No. Sometimes it makes me sad that I don’t have those things in my house. I could have them, don’t get me wrong. After all, everything is permissible, but the items I am thinking about are not beneficial for me. I know that in my head, but even this can make me feel lack. Today, I am going to be grateful for those whole body pleasers that make my body feel good. Am I loved? Yes. Sometimes it is difficult to feel though because we all run into barriers when those around us are also hurting. But, one thing I am sure of, God loves me and He tenderly holds my life in His hands. Do I have faith? Yes, I do, but just like the father who asked Jesus to heal his son, sometimes I cry out, “I believe Lord, help my unbelief.” I struggled with this when I first came into Hunger Within. Did I truly believe that I would release weight? Did I truly believe that God would heal my disordered eating? Did I truly believe that I deserved His help in this area? God has proven Himself so faithful in the area of my weight and disordered eating.
What does it take for me to honestly let go of that ugly spirit of lack? I have to look at everything, no matter what it is, and know that it doesn’t mean a thing when I look at the blessing of knowing Christ Jesus and His redemption power in my life. Every thought that comes through my mind, I have to take captive to Christ and ask, “Does this matter for eternity?” I know of one area in my life that is lacking. I haven’t been living with an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness. I do thank God for things throughout the day, but I am not intentional. As we go into the Christmas season this year, I am committing to keeping a daily gratitude list. I want to thank God and share with Him all the ways I am grateful for Who He is. I want to thank Him for all the things I take for granted. I want to remember Him.
How about you? Will you join me? Will you open your hands along with me to let go of “yesterday’s junk” so you can receive today’s blessings? Will you share as comments on this blog post some of the things you are grateful and thankful for? I would love to praise God Almighty for those things along with you!
