I was so much like Korah…it is scary to me. Thank you, Lord, for your mercy!

I would come to church week in an week out and habitutally critique everything in my head. The worship, the sermons, the people–it was like I felt *I* could somehow do a better job of this, that, or the other thing. Of course, this was only true in my arrogant and vain imagination! *I* could pick better music. *I* could sing them in a better key. *I* could find better harmonies. *I* couldn’t play the guitar better…I knew that…but that was beside the point!!!!

Ok, NOTHING about ANY of these things was even CLOSE to being true, of course! When I stopped to really expose my thinking, I KNEW this! None of this was rooted in truth, but only the sin in my heart!

I confessed the pride in my heart, but week after week, my thoughts would run away with me and I would struggle.

Can anyone relate to this? I certainly hope so! Sticking my neck out and admitting this truth, of which I am ashamed, can’t be only for my own “clearing” of my conscience! Can you relate?

One Sunday, I was in the midst of my rebellious reverie. God reminded me of the story of Korah that is found in Numbers 4 and 16, specifically. This was following a bible study time where God reminded me that GOD CHOOSES THE ONES WHO WILL GLORIFY HIM. Will I really presume to glorify God more effectively than HIS chosen instruments? Wouldn’t I rather have people in those roles that God is best glorified by then some spot-light grabber??? I do NOT want to claim that *I* could glorify God in those roles, if he hasn’t called me to do that!

So conviction was there, but I continued to struggle with this. I was slow on the uptake.

One Sunday morning, we had just sung the opening song and it was time to “Greet your neighbor.” During the “fellowship” time, the deacon in charge of coordinating teams of people to greet folks as they enter the church on Sunday morning, asked my husband if our family would be willing to greet on Sundays. My husband said yes. He told me this as we took our seats for the next set of worship music.

“Bruuuther,” I thought. “How demeaning. So, God, I KNOW I am not called to be up FRONT, but really, shaking hands? Getting germs all over me? Making small talk? Bleah…is that really what you have in mind for me?”

HOW like Korah!!!

Of course, I was clueless as to the absolute blast our family would have greeting. What a JOY I have when we do that ministry! But that morning, I was definitely battling with this so-called “insult” to my personal value and significance! HA!

To be continued….