Have you ever been startled, as if from sleep, to “awaken” at the bottom of a carton of ice cream or an empty cookie bag? You didn’t even see it coming, but somehow you binged your way through most of a half gallon of “Tin Roof Sundae” ice cream. What now?
Or, perhaps, out for Mexican food, you were physically hungry and planned to eat within godly parameters. After enjoying chips and queso, however, by the time your meal arrived you weren’t hungry any more and you ate half your meal anyhow. Each bite threw an accusation your way. What next?
What we choose to do with the moments that follow is vital!
So often, when faced with these or similar scenarios, we pull out what Thin Within calls “the club of condemnation” and beat ourselves up. The very things we need–comfort and forgiveness–are the very things we deny ourselves. When we refuse to rest in the grace that Jesus purchased for us with his life, his heart is grieved every bit as much or more than the thing we did that caused our shame in the first place. He created us for so much more than the shame we embrace when we find ourselves in a place of sin. In fact, when he died on the cross, he took on all the sin and shame. He doesn’t intend for us to wallow in shame now.
Last year, I studied the book Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee. He speaks about the affects of shame:
Shame usually results in guilt and self-deprecation, but it can also lead us to search for God and his answers. Our inner, undeniable need for personal significance was created to make us search for Him. He alone can fulfill our deep need. In Him, we find peace, acceptance, and love. The Search for Significance, p. 101 (emphasis mine)
When I trespass God’s boundaries for me, those “what then” moments can be spent the way he desires–redeeming what came before! He intends to use the very sin and “gunk” that I think makes me so awful in his sight to draw me even closer to his heart. When I overeat (again) or head to food when I am not hungry and fail to stop it before “damage” is done, in the “what now?” moment, I can choose to turn to him and experience his peace, acceptance and love.
I wonder…why don’t I? Why do I insist on living as if he counts all my sin against me? Why do I act as if the cross never happened and Jesus didn’t pay for my sin and shame? Why do I wallow in shame?
We often behave in a manner that is consistent with our perception of ourselves…seeing ourselves through the eyes of shame usually results in a pessimistic outlook on life and a lifestyle of destructive behavior. The Search for Significance, p. 102 (Emphasis mine.)
“Destructive behavior”…like repeatedly engaging in poor choices followed by self-condemnation!
When I allow shame to go unchallenged in my life, it has a way of seeping in to all the cracks and crevices, pervading every aspect of who I am, almost defining me if I let it. When I first realize that I have allowed myself to go down a path away from God’s best for me–when I ask, “What now?”–I want the answer to be to stop, confess, and repent or, to use a Thin Within term, observe (dispassionately) and correct (more about this after we start our study of the book on June 14). I don’t want shame to define moments that follow! When I feel shame, I tend to make more shameful choices. Shame doesn’t belong in the child of God!
Instead, I want to break free from this cycle completely, exercising the freedom purchased for me by Christ. Instead, I will live free from shame controlling me or my decisions. I will reject shame, which looks backward, and I will reject all of the things it represents in my life. I will embrace grace which embraces Christ in the now and looks forward to that for which Christ Jesus lay hold of me.
I choose to keep short accounts today. If I do find myself having eaten more than I should have (or snapping at the kids a bit more harshly, or having missed an opportunity to speak the truth to a pre-Christian neighbor), the “What next?” question will be answered with “observe and correct,” confess and repent. I will reject allowing my indiscretion in the past hour, day, month, or decade to define me.
How about you? Have you allowed shame to have a say in your life? What can you do to expose it and reject it? God calls us to press on and move forward!
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NOTE: Don’t forget, we continue to have a random drawing for a free copy of Thin Within! Comment to be entered in the drawing. The next winner will be selected late Sunday evening.
Great post to take with me and apply as lots of opportunities during the summer travel months to lose sight of parameters when in the midst of a crowd. Looking forward to the upcoming TW study. Got a updated brand new copy yesterday so "ready to roll".
Great post to take with me and apply as lots of opportunities during the summer travel months to lose sight of parameters when in the midst of a crowd. Looking forward to the upcoming TW study. Got a updated brand new copy yesterday so "ready to roll".
Thanks Heidie, another reminder to continue the walk and not get mired down in the wallow of shame without the Godly repentance that should come right up on our heels barking. Is it "hoopomayo?"(that Greek word for praise) like a dog kissing upward to his beloved master with that big goofy grin on his doggy face; we can do that to!I have read that "Sins consumed".. sins that "feed the flesh", sins like overeating, "consuming" pornography anything we can think of that, when we sin, we've seemingly have "benefited" from at that "moment" are difficult for us to repent from because we cannot make "restitution".. we cannot pay back that debt! SO, ALL the more we must take your advice and turn to the One who paid the debt once and for all. I disagree that we s/b dispassionate in our "observation" though. I think we should have a type of passion in our repentance.. I know.. not the Club of condemnation! But the true heartfelt, "yes God, I'm wrong, You are right" passion that turns us to Him with our whole heart. "I blew it now, but I now know who to run to.. and not be afraid. You will keep him who's eyes are staid on Thee"{{hugs}} 2 u HeidieXO Barb
Thanks Heidie, another reminder to continue the walk and not get mired down in the wallow of shame without the Godly repentance that should come right up on our heels barking. Is it "hoopomayo?"(that Greek word for praise) like a dog kissing upward to his beloved master with that big goofy grin on his doggy face; we can do that to!I have read that "Sins consumed".. sins that "feed the flesh", sins like overeating, "consuming" pornography anything we can think of that, when we sin, we've seemingly have "benefited" from at that "moment" are difficult for us to repent from because we cannot make "restitution".. we cannot pay back that debt! SO, ALL the more we must take your advice and turn to the One who paid the debt once and for all. I disagree that we s/b dispassionate in our "observation" though. I think we should have a type of passion in our repentance.. I know.. not the Club of condemnation! But the true heartfelt, "yes God, I'm wrong, You are right" passion that turns us to Him with our whole heart. "I blew it now, but I now know who to run to.. and not be afraid. You will keep him who's eyes are staid on Thee"{{hugs}} 2 u HeidieXO Barb
You mentioned one of my struggles, Heidi. When my husband and I go out to eat, he always orders an appetizer along with our regular dinners. I feel bad having him eat the appetizer by himself, so I have some, too. When my dinner comes, I'm not all that hungry anymore! Been there many, many times! I've just learned to eat more slowly and take more home. That makes for a special "lunch treat" the next day! Your blog reminds me of the terrible guilt and shame that Isaiah felt when he found himself in the presence of God in Isaiah 6."'Woe to me!' I cried. 'I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.' Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he ouched my mouth and said, 'See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.'"When we eat more than we should, it's literally our lips that have a huge part in the process. But God touches "our lips" and not only takes away our sin, but also the guilt that goes along with it. We shouldn't hold onto to something that God has released us from! He's the boss!! If He says He's taken it away — don't disagree with the Almighty!! I love His mercy — and I love His power to move us back up and out of the pit!!
You mentioned one of my struggles, Heidi. When my husband and I go out to eat, he always orders an appetizer along with our regular dinners. I feel bad having him eat the appetizer by himself, so I have some, too. When my dinner comes, I'm not all that hungry anymore! Been there many, many times! I've just learned to eat more slowly and take more home. That makes for a special "lunch treat" the next day! Your blog reminds me of the terrible guilt and shame that Isaiah felt when he found himself in the presence of God in Isaiah 6."'Woe to me!' I cried. 'I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.' Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he ouched my mouth and said, 'See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.'"When we eat more than we should, it's literally our lips that have a huge part in the process. But God touches "our lips" and not only takes away our sin, but also the guilt that goes along with it. We shouldn't hold onto to something that God has released us from! He's the boss!! If He says He's taken it away — don't disagree with the Almighty!! I love His mercy — and I love His power to move us back up and out of the pit!!
Thank you for this blog, Heidi. you are a Truthteller!
Thank you for this blog, Heidi. you are a Truthteller!
Hi, Lindsay. So glad that you have a fresh copy. I am CONVINCED that God is going to rock us all…he is doing a new thing in each of us!Hi, Barb – It is interesting that you would mention the restitution, as I have been studying Leviticus (such a rich study in God's grace!) and restitution is an interesting component of being healed when doing wrong…You are so right. That *is* lacking when we overeat or other such things. Maybe that is why so many of us keep beating ourselves up. We think somehow we can atone for our own sin or something. I don't know…but I DO know that God wants us to move forward!Believerkjk – What a great perspective on Isaiah 6. I wrote a piece about Isaiah 6 (mostly just verse 1) for May's enewsletter for Thin Within. I focused on a totally different aspect than that…I love how God's word really IS living and active. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Hi, Lindsay. So glad that you have a fresh copy. I am CONVINCED that God is going to rock us all…he is doing a new thing in each of us!Hi, Barb – It is interesting that you would mention the restitution, as I have been studying Leviticus (such a rich study in God's grace!) and restitution is an interesting component of being healed when doing wrong…You are so right. That *is* lacking when we overeat or other such things. Maybe that is why so many of us keep beating ourselves up. We think somehow we can atone for our own sin or something. I don't know…but I DO know that God wants us to move forward!Believerkjk – What a great perspective on Isaiah 6. I wrote a piece about Isaiah 6 (mostly just verse 1) for May's enewsletter for Thin Within. I focused on a totally different aspect than that…I love how God's word really IS living and active. Thanks for sharing your insights.
I think the shame can come as a result of the physical results that can follow "blowing it." Bloating and weight gain have a way of making me feel miserable and ashamed. With gluttony, most cannot hide their sin. With the consequences of our sin on display for all to see, it's hard not to feel shame. I think we really have to depend on the Lord to help us overcome this shame.
I think the shame can come as a result of the physical results that can follow "blowing it." Bloating and weight gain have a way of making me feel miserable and ashamed. With gluttony, most cannot hide their sin. With the consequences of our sin on display for all to see, it's hard not to feel shame. I think we really have to depend on the Lord to help us overcome this shame.
Hi, Kim. I hadn't thought of that before…of feeling shame because of something physical. More people that I realize may feel this way, too. I have often battled with this frustration that *my* struggle is "on display"…But I know right now that this isn't what God wants me to focus on. He wants me to realize that anytime I sin, in any way…he knows. It is "on display" to *him*. I get more worried about what other people think than I do about him. Go figure. You are right…we must depend on the Lord to overcome the shame.
Hi, Kim. I hadn't thought of that before…of feeling shame because of something physical. More people that I realize may feel this way, too. I have often battled with this frustration that *my* struggle is "on display"…But I know right now that this isn't what God wants me to focus on. He wants me to realize that anytime I sin, in any way…he knows. It is "on display" to *him*. I get more worried about what other people think than I do about him. Go figure. You are right…we must depend on the Lord to overcome the shame.
Hi, Mama23. Thanks. I do try to be. 🙂
Hi, Mama23. Thanks. I do try to be. 🙂
What a great post. Thanks for the amazing reminder. When I "blow it," I tend to run away from God, not to Him. But, just like Adam and Eve, I can't hide from Him . . . and I shouldn't want to because I know that He's waiting with grace. I just need to get up the courage and/or humility to throw myself on my knees before Him.
What a great post. Thanks for the amazing reminder. When I "blow it," I tend to run away from God, not to Him. But, just like Adam and Eve, I can't hide from Him . . . and I shouldn't want to because I know that He's waiting with grace. I just need to get up the courage and/or humility to throw myself on my knees before Him.
Wow! The quote: "We often behave in a manner that is consistent with our perception of ourselves…seeing ourslves as thru the eyes of shame usually results in a pessimistic outlook on life and a lifestyle of destructive behavior", really hit home with me. That is exactly what I have been doing most of my life. Adopting a victim mentality to life's disappointments, turning to food for comfort, hating the resulting weight gain, desparate to get it off and ultimately failing, I sink back into shame & depression and the cycle begins again. Under the Canopy of God's grace I am freed from captivity to shame and the inner voice that tells me I'll never change. No matter how many times I stumble and fall I choose to no longer live as I have been. I can say to God: I can't but You can and believe He's using everthing in my life (even the hurtful things)for my eternal good. Yes, even my lifetime battles with overeating, weight and body image can be a pathway straight to His heart as I surrender fully to Him.
Wow! The quote: "We often behave in a manner that is consistent with our perception of ourselves…seeing ourslves as thru the eyes of shame usually results in a pessimistic outlook on life and a lifestyle of destructive behavior", really hit home with me. That is exactly what I have been doing most of my life. Adopting a victim mentality to life's disappointments, turning to food for comfort, hating the resulting weight gain, desparate to get it off and ultimately failing, I sink back into shame & depression and the cycle begins again. Under the Canopy of God's grace I am freed from captivity to shame and the inner voice that tells me I'll never change. No matter how many times I stumble and fall I choose to no longer live as I have been. I can say to God: I can't but You can and believe He's using everthing in my life (even the hurtful things)for my eternal good. Yes, even my lifetime battles with overeating, weight and body image can be a pathway straight to His heart as I surrender fully to Him.
Well said. It is so-sad-but-true that when I "mess up" with over-eating I just keep making the same mistake and punishing myself for it. Why not ask the Lord for help with "diet" too? I ask Him for help in other areas of my life. This TW study is very interesting.
Well said. It is so-sad-but-true that when I "mess up" with over-eating I just keep making the same mistake and punishing myself for it. Why not ask the Lord for help with "diet" too? I ask Him for help in other areas of my life. This TW study is very interesting.
Hi, Betherann. You are so right. We do tend to do like Adam and Eve and try to hide. When that doesn't work, we even blame, don't we? At least I know I do. He does wait for us to draw near. Humility is so vital. I wonder why we keep him waiting? Thanks for posting your thoughts.Hi, Shelly, Yes, that quote from McGee's book IS so challenging. I, too, have adopted a "victim mentality" in the past. If I am not careful, I can do it now, too. YES! You said: Under the Canopy of God's grace I am freed from captivity to shame and the inner voice that tells me I'll never change. No matter how many times I stumble and fall I choose to no longer live as I have been. I can say to God: I can't but You can… YES! PRECISELY!Hi, Josephine. I hope you will be blessed by the study of Thin Within. Thanks for posting. 🙂
Hi, Betherann. You are so right. We do tend to do like Adam and Eve and try to hide. When that doesn't work, we even blame, don't we? At least I know I do. He does wait for us to draw near. Humility is so vital. I wonder why we keep him waiting? Thanks for posting your thoughts.Hi, Shelly, Yes, that quote from McGee's book IS so challenging. I, too, have adopted a "victim mentality" in the past. If I am not careful, I can do it now, too. YES! You said: Under the Canopy of God's grace I am freed from captivity to shame and the inner voice that tells me I'll never change. No matter how many times I stumble and fall I choose to no longer live as I have been. I can say to God: I can't but You can… YES! PRECISELY!Hi, Josephine. I hope you will be blessed by the study of Thin Within. Thanks for posting. 🙂