Sun rises on a new day, but I’m still a creature of habit. I roll out of bed and head for the scales which draws me like a Siren.
Surely there’s a mistake. I wiggle my feet on the scale’s cold glass, but the digital numbers remain the same.
So I drag myself to the kitchen for my next habit—coffee. While it’s brewing, I open the refrigerator to get Half and Half. The carton sits on the second shelf next to last night’s leftovers.
“What should I make for dinner?”
My husband hates that question at 7 a.m., but I have to plan ahead. Thaw the meat; buy the ingredients. Meals don’t just happen. If I was the only one in the household, I could eat a bowl of cereal. Pop some popcorn. Have an apple, but I’ve others to consider.
After I’ve been caffeinated and studied the scriptures mentioned in my Thin Within Workbook, I drive to the grocery store. My irritable stomach grumbles. Are you nuts? How dare you take me here when I’m a zero. Look at all this food. You’re killing me.
I pat my belly. Behave yourself. You can have some peas and carrots when we get home.
I weave the shopping cart among the vegetables and fruit. Avoid the ice cream aisle. I came for fresh produce, eggs, and chicken breasts, but a bag of Fritos sneaks into my cart.
I frown, but then I’m reminded: “Just because You’re losing weight doesn’t mean Hubby stopped eating snacks.”
Good point. I head for the check out line…before I’m tempted to visit the cookies…and set my groceries on the counter’s conveyer belt.
While the female clerk rings up the food, I notice I’m conveniently hemmed in by two metal racks. Candy on my right. Magazines on my left.
One offers worthless calories and a quick sugar high. The other offers me recipes and a fast pass to lose weight. I study the headlines which are designed to bait my vanity.
“New Water Cure—Drop 8 lbs in 7 days”
“Lose 10,20,30 Pounds—in Just Weeks!”
I’d buy these magazines in a heartbeat if I thought losing weight were that easy. Only, I know better. The female models on the magazine covers are string-bean thin and half my age. I suck in my gut. I can lose weight, but I’ll never look that good.
Time for a Truth Card. “God doesn’t look at my outer appearance, but on the heart.”
The clerk pauses. “Anything else?”
I glance at the candy bars in their brightly-colored wrappers. My stomach begs me like a spoiled child sitting in a grocery cart, “Can I have one? Pretty please with a cherry on top?”
I remember 1 Corinthians 6:12 from Thin Within’s introduction.
“Everything is permissible for me – but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me – but I will not be mastered by anything.”
“No, thank you.”
My stomach sinks. It’s not used to hearing me say, “NO.”
I pay for the food and escape the store waving my receipt like a victory banner. Who knew? Renewing my mind with God’s Word really works!
But my smile fades fast because my belly’s turning somersaults, and it won’t give up. “Yippee. Let’s eat something to celebrate! Got any Fritos?”
Oh Karen….you are the best. I love seeing you hash this out. God is doing a new thing in you and He is beautiful in you, my friend! Thank you for sharing your gift with us!
Heidi, thank you for continued encouragement. I know that God uses all our circumstances to teach us. Looking for truth and listening for His voice even in this….Thin Within journey….is so exciting. I tend to compartmentalize. God cares about my heart. He doesn’t care about my diet or weight. However, God cares about every detail in our lives. Even the food that goes into our mouths, and the consequences of what we choose to eat. I’m so grateful for the chance to share (via writing) the lessons God is showing me in this journey. I suggest every woman journals these insights etc as she does the study.
Okay I’m going to challenge you – why not the ice cream and the candy bar and the Fritos when you’re hungry? Restriction leads to bingeing.
Ruth, I agree that restrictions make us want the food all the more which is why I love Thin Within. I don’t have to avoid the dessert, or the fried fish..unlike the many diets that I’ve tried. And since Thin Within is about the amount of food we eat, I felt the liberty to indulge in my buttered popcorn last week. However, my goal while I’m in the process of trying to Lose Weight is to avoid the items that I find addictive (can’t eat just one) or prevent me from filling my tummy with healthy calories. 🙂 More to the point, I wanted the blog to show how my mind is being renewed. Until TW, I doubt I thought much about the candy bars next to the check out counter. ha
Hello layely, The Lord has been leading me to the big lie of thinking i can eat as much as i want anytime i want to. No. Can’t that way of thinking does not bring God glory.. he doesn’t want me to be thinking ots ok. I know there are vrs in the bible that tell me not to over eat and He is laying on my heart that stuffing myself silly at holidays is not the way it is. And i remember that gluttony causes someone to come to poverty because food makes us sleepy – well eating padt fullness makes me sleepy and way to uncomfortable with a stuffed stomach! Dinners use to be planned out then my roommate wanted to eat cereal, so i now eat lots of beans and rice about once a day. And i am blessed? Hope your day is blessed.
Carisa, “Stuffing myself silly” (as you put it) is a saying Ive often heard. I suppose we should rephrase it to say, “Stuffing myself sadly.” And you’re so right about gluttony making us sleepy. We know what’s good and bad for us when it comes to our eating habits. And the truth cards and verses are great reminders to keep us from believing the lies. Thanks for sharing.