Epiphany! Revelation! A Blinding Flash of the Obvious!
A realization hit me following a late dinner. I had a meeting at church last night. I got home very late and was famished–truly at a 0. As I debriefed the meeting with my husband, I suddenly realized that the little steak I was eating was gone. I hadn’t taken the time to enjoy it. I hadn’t focused on the explosion of flavors from having marinaded the steak for 2 days. 🙂 Hubby had carefully and perfectly barbequed this little “Omaha Steak” and it was incredible. Tender and cooked to perfection. Yet, somehow, I had missed it…AND eaten it all! Sucked the thing right down.
And, in the past, that little steak would have lasted a couple of meals. Even if if IS tiny. :-/
Not only that, but I chased it with dessert–inhaled….
As I fell asleep last night, I thought over what I had eaten during the very busy day. I realized that all day yesterday, my meals involved more food than in the past. If I were to compare yesterday with a year ago, I bet I had eaten twice as much. NOT ok!
I think I will have to cut my portions in half again and see where I go with that.
Wow! I wonder what else I am blind to in my life? I bet a lot. :-/
Psalm 139:23…Search me O God and know my heart…
The light went on today and I discovered that greed has returned.
And, sadly, I tuned out the voice of God. I heard his whisper to my heart and turned my back. How often have I done that! 🙁
This brings home to me that food isn’t the problem. But in this case my eating says a lot about my heart. I have allowed attitudes to re-emerge that have caused physical boundaries to weaken. My focus has shifted again…subtly and I see it clearly as I look at yesterday. Wow. I turned my “deaf ear” to the Lord. Didn’t feel rebellious..just felt hurried. :-/
Hmm…Reality check time.
I am redefining my stopping point for my meals today. “0” or “satisfied” will be when I no longer am hungry. (This is what it used to be!)
Lord, please be my portion today. Be my satisfaction. Help me to see the truth about myself and about you. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
You know Heidi I have been very similar in what you had in your revelation lately, actually to be honest with myself really since May or so. I have not lost weight since then and have grabbed WAY too much food, greed is huge. There are some times that it is being hurried, not focusing, not enjoying and then there are just times where the food "pulls" me and I "obey" it…not even listening to the wonderful awesome Lord telling me to come to Him!!! This is so hard for me and I have actually just finished crying out to God before I came on here saying this is so hard, I just want to serve Him, want to be skinny or without extra weight on my body slowing me down, and that food will not be an issue! I asked Him why it had to be so hard when my heart wants so badly just to be done with it! He has showed me that the chains are broken, I am FREE, but yet I tell the Lord why Lord do I keep going back to food. Then I had a thought and realized one thing, maybe it has to do with confidence (in the Lord) that I don't know how to move forward with a good relationship with food, all I have are the old ways that I am so used to and it seems too hard and too time consuming to me to find a new way to eat, how horrible is that to admit, very sad to say that. SO I pray that the Lord will be our portion, that we will be able to slow down and hear His voice and just love it and fall in love with it more every day.I also pray that for you and myself and anyone reading that we can truthfully find our 0's and stop just when statisfied, as the Lord says my child you have had enough and now you can move along…Ok, off to chat now, look forward to reading more and posting more as the Lord leads!Blessings!!!!Kim
You know Heidi I have been very similar in what you had in your revelation lately, actually to be honest with myself really since May or so. I have not lost weight since then and have grabbed WAY too much food, greed is huge. There are some times that it is being hurried, not focusing, not enjoying and then there are just times where the food "pulls" me and I "obey" it…not even listening to the wonderful awesome Lord telling me to come to Him!!! This is so hard for me and I have actually just finished crying out to God before I came on here saying this is so hard, I just want to serve Him, want to be skinny or without extra weight on my body slowing me down, and that food will not be an issue! I asked Him why it had to be so hard when my heart wants so badly just to be done with it! He has showed me that the chains are broken, I am FREE, but yet I tell the Lord why Lord do I keep going back to food. Then I had a thought and realized one thing, maybe it has to do with confidence (in the Lord) that I don't know how to move forward with a good relationship with food, all I have are the old ways that I am so used to and it seems too hard and too time consuming to me to find a new way to eat, how horrible is that to admit, very sad to say that. SO I pray that the Lord will be our portion, that we will be able to slow down and hear His voice and just love it and fall in love with it more every day.I also pray that for you and myself and anyone reading that we can truthfully find our 0's and stop just when statisfied, as the Lord says my child you have had enough and now you can move along…Ok, off to chat now, look forward to reading more and posting more as the Lord leads!Blessings!!!!Kim
Just read this again and still saying, this is me. Thanks for being honest and sharing…its encouraging me to look UP and get my heart right…
Just read this again and still saying, this is me. Thanks for being honest and sharing…its encouraging me to look UP and get my heart right…