I see from my notes in the book, that Day 27 followed a day of spiritual testing. I had taken one of my horses to the UC Davis teaching veterinary hospital and the results concerned me…discouraged me…saddened me…and I found myself with an attitude of resentment toward the Lord. I got angry, I guess is the best way you could put it. I then found myself overwhelmingly weary and I just didn’t care about “the food thing.” Interesting how my pride resurfaced (not that it was ever gone completely) and it was connected with food…It is clear to me that my attitude toward food and eating is almost like a barometer for my relationship with the Lord. Something new that I have learned. I didn’t know that it was so clearly linked.
Day 27 dawned and I realized I needed to “observe and correct” or “confess and repent.” Big time.
As is His typical approach, God made sure that I was greeted with things I needed to see. This is one of the things that greeted me in Day 27s reading:
When we are weary, we are vulnerable…vulnerable to turning to temporary gratification rather than to the true life-sustaining satisfaction found only in Him. (page 287)
We’re talking about mental and spiritual as well as physical exhaustion, when life has become a list of “must dos” instead of an adventure blessed with wonder, joy, and abundance. This is the kind of weariness that tarnishes the soul’s luster. (page 288)
I knew that God was intimately acquainted with my disappointment and my struggle. Rather than allow it to continue, I committed afresh to his Lordship. I wrote gratitudes in my journal, including the fact that while my horse, Doc, may have 4 lame legs, he has the most wonderful disposition and all the vets and students loved him. He was so well behaved. I am fortunate to have such a wonderful “little pony” for my own. He loves people and wins their hearts readily.
This was a good way to start this day as instantly, my resolve was tested, but I get ahead of myself.
If He calls you, He equips you. Jesus doesn’t want you to be weary and burdened down. You are His precious sheep, the one that He has sought to lead and nurture. You are His lamb to whom he said…”This is the resting place, let the weary rest”; and, “This is the place of repose”…(From Isaiah 28:12-13)
The Lord says come to me if you are weary and I will give you rest. I must abide in Him to experience that rest. This is intricately connected with my eating, apparently. When I rest in Him, I don’t insist on having my way in any respect…His voice about any issue, including what I eat or drink and when…is welcomed. When I allow my SELF, my DESIRES, my EXPECTATIONS and my disappointments to cause me to become resentful…well, it erodes my attitude about everything including food.