More thoughts on Chapter 4 of Get Thin Stay Thin by Arthur and Judy Halliday…

A grace-oriented approach is risky precisely because it does evoke our body’s natural responses…”0″ is an important place to begin. Your body will begin to speak to you if you stop keeping it muffled and numbed by stuffing it with food. The emotions will come up, and they will need to be acknowledged and addressed in light of God’s glorious grace. GTST, p. 91

As I look back on our mini-vacation last week, I wondered about why I fell into some old habits and patterns–especially while being on the road. Highway 50 up over the summit is narrow, windy and the drop off on one side is steep. I was extremely anxious on our way going even though the weather was cooperative. Could it be I was so nervous merely because my husband was driving? My thoughts of “I need to eat” as we traveled baffled me.

It wasn’t until I got home and was thinking about things in retrospect that I realized…Lake Tahoe is the place of a lot of childhood memories for me. Many of them sad, some scary. I have memories of being on that road in the back seat of our Avanti, terrified as my dad drove recklessly and under the influence of alcohol. No wonder I felt like a scared little kid again on Wednesday as we made our way to Zephyr Cove! In many ways, I *was*.

I did think to ask the Lord to help me to feel my anxiety and fear and to allow him to be my comfort. In the car, I had few options, certainly. I want to do this throughout my day today…to attend to my feelings and emotions that rise up, rather than numb them with food or time on the internet.

When we stop eating for all the wrong reasons and follow the principles, waiting for our “0,” the body speaks and the desires and intentions of our hearts are revealed. GTST,, p. 92

I want to grow and mature in Christ. Allowing myself to feel is an important part of that so that God can move in to those feelings and heal them or show me what HE desires I do with them. Oh, I see this is such a vital part of my spiritual formation! I don’t want to short-circuit this process with food or anything else!

Through grace, with our assent, our desire begins to be transformed. Energies that once were dedicated simply to relieving ourselves from the pain now become dedicated to a larger goodness, more aligned with the true treasure of our hearts. GTST, p. 92

Oh, Lord, help me to allow myself a chance to feel today–to experience what it is like to be me in present time. Then, help me to bring these feelings to you–for healing and wholeness…and holiness. Lord, I want to be able to be an extension of your love and grace to others. When I am so self-absorbed it is nearly impossible to be aware of the needs of others. I lift this up to you. Lord, I choose today NOT to silence my “silent hunger” with food or with distractions of the internet. Today, I choose to feel and to bring whatever I have to YOU. Thank you that you receive me, that you love me, that your grace is enough for me. In Jesus I pray, Amen.