Continuing on with the theme of continuing on…I want food, but I choose to sit–or to be still first–for 5 minutes, again, because I said I would.
Lord, I want to eat now. Am I physically in need of food? Show me.
There is something in me that I seem to be interpreting as hunger, Lord. I guess the answer is I don’t need food right now. So, what is this about? Why do I want food?
I have to leave the house now and go to worship band practice. I haven’t been hungry for dinner, Lord. But I won’t be able to eat until I get home after 10:00pm…I want to eat now so I won’t be hungry that long. The thought of not eating now and being hungry for that long, well, Lord…it makes me panic a bit!
Gosh. I analyze this and come up with some facts, some observations…I leave my house to go to the church at 7:15pm and, since I am not yet hungry,I don’t eat dinner. Worst case scenario: I get hungry the minute my rear hits the car seat to drive to church and I have to wait three hours until I get home to eat. Well, really…what is the worst thing that can happen? Truthfully…NOTHING is so bad. I could just be uncomfortable for three hours! What is so bad about that?
Lord, being HUNGRY for three hours is HORRIBLE.
Really??? Is it?
What really is so bad about being hungry?
Lord, I think I get worried about feeling hungry for any length of time because of my past. I thank you that you have set me free from the helplessness I had as a child. I am no longer in an abusive situation. Physical hunger no longer has to be associated with abuse!
As I prayerfully go over this in my heart and mind, I see that this is rather silly, in fact! I am a mom, for goodness’ sake! I know how to be uncomfortable! No big boogie is going to get me. No one is going to beat me to make me eat foods that make me gag (whether I threw up due to the fear and stress of being hit and yelled at or due to the food itself, I don’t know). I am in a new place in life!
The truth is, at worship team practice, once I get singing and praising the Lord, I won’t even think about food again until I get home.
Lord, thank you that you have shown me truth tonight. I don’t need to be worried about being hungry. I am safe in your arms.
Preventative eating…nah…I won’t go there right now. No need to do that. The lure has passed.