“I don’t care what my boundaries are…I wasn’t thinking about life on a day like this one when I ‘committed’ 0 to 5 eating.”
“Given what I am facing, surely God doesn’t expect me to just be ‘good’ after a day like today!!!”
“It’s just not fair. How come my sister can eat whatever she wants and never gain weight! It makes me crazy!”
“I am going to hang out on the boat this weekend with the ice chest, snacks, good friends, and just kick back. I’m not going to worry about my eating for a day! I have been good, after all. I deserve a break!”
Can you identify with these statements? Chances are, we all can.
In our society we are told that we deserve the best, we deserve all we can grab. Life should be fair! There is never a need to be sad or uncomfortable with so many options for making ourselves feel happy!
These are lies that we sometimes tell ourselves–lies that take us outside of our God-given boundaries of eating between physical hunger and physical satisfaction. If we want to really experience the victory that we have longed for, we have to be willing to recognize the lies when they appear and replace them with God’s truth. That is what our “Renewing of the Mind” bible study is about this summer. We want to change the way we think, because what we think, affects what we believe, and what we believe, affects our actions. Our actions over time establish patterns and it is those patterns that bring forth fruit in our lives…the results that we either rejoice in or are discouraged by–both in our character and outwardly.
If we want to choose a fruitful life that reflects the Holy Spirit’s presence in our lives, we have to start with what we tell ourselves. How often do we tell ourselves we are entitled to “the good life?” Is this creating an unworkable belief that runs counter to realizing our godly goals?
Here is a 7 minute video on this subject (if you are an email subscriber, you may have to visit the website in order to see it):
I believe that if Justification is a primary reason we eat outside of our 0 to 5 boundaries, then Entitlement is its twin. Truly, if we could eliminate Justification Eating and Entitlement Eating, much of our eating outside of 0 and 5 would stop altogether!
Consider how wonderfully refreshing it is to live with integrity, acknowledging and praising the God of the Universe as he walks personally with you, inviting you into a life of discovery. He is sufficient! No, maybe not in the way we have come to expect in our world of drive-thrus, instant coffee, and microwave ovens. We think we are entitled to bigger, faster, and more. But our God IS huge! His glory fills the entire earth and he invites us to step up into intimacy with him–even as we train ourselves for godliness. It is SOOoooo worth it!
1.) Each week, I have asked you to evaluate if GOD has called you to a primary boundary of eating 0 to 5. If you aren’t convinced that this is something God is calling you to do, I believe you won’t be successful. You will find a million reasons NOT to eat 0 to 5. But if you know God is calling you to do it, if you have a conviction that is deep and abiding, then write it down in your journal and each time you reaffirm that this is, indeed, a conviction that comes to you from God, date it in your journal. I urge you to do this today, too–even if you already did yesterday.
2.) Evaluate if you need to adjust your secondary boundaries. Have you successfully lived with the secondary boundaries you established for yourself previously? It might be time to move forward…to add another one or tweak a prior secondary boundary. For those of you new to this, if you have noticed that you are unaware of physical satisfaction as it approaches, you can observe and correct–see if there are any trends as you look over the past week or so. Are your eating occasions outside of 0 to 5 (your primary boundary) when you are in the car? When you watch TV? Typically limited to one food in particular or when you are with a certain friend? If so, this provides the perfect opportunity to establish a secondary boundary to support you relative to that trend. If you are unclear what secondary boundaries can be helpful to you, post a question here in the comments section. Chances are, someone has dealt with the same challenge as you and has an idea for some supportive secondary boundaries!
3.) Visit this page at Barb Raveling’s website–read and do the bible study and journaling activities on the page. You can print her blog post out and then journal your answers if you like.
4.) What do you believe about entitlement? How has it been affecting your eating?
5.) In the video, I gave the example of my driving as another area of my life where I struggle with an attitude of entitlement. How about you? Where do you see an attitude of entitlement: “I deserve the good life.” “Life should be fair.” or “I shouldn’t have to suffer!” affecting you? What are God’s truths about these situations?
6.) In the video, I mention four steps that can help you eliminate an attitude of entitlement. Try one (or more) of the following and see if it helps you!
- Create a God List. More about the God List is found here.
- Use the God List to have a Praise Fest whenever entitlement rears its ugly head. Read about the Praise Fest here.
- Establish a habit of gratitude–thanking God for His gifts–the way he has blessed you. More about gratitude can be found here and my gratitude blog is here to get ideas of your own.
- Create Truth Cards that remind you daily the truth about entitlement, what God’s view of this is, whether life should be fair or not, and all that comes to the one who is willing to suffer if God calls you to do so. Here is a video about Truth Cards.
7.) Share here with us what God shows you about “Entitlement Eating” this week. How can we pray for you?
8.) Recording of our online class from this week of study (it is a sound file only, so don’t expect a video):
“I deserve the good life!” “Life should be fair!” “I deserve to never be sad or uncomfortable and if I am any of these things, I will use food to make me feel better because it is my right!”
Many of us have experienced this. Some of us may even live with a sense of entitlement. If we do, chances are we will never be consistent in our Thin Within efforts to eat between the parameters of 0 and 5 (or hunger and satisfaction).
What is God’s view of this attitude? What are we to do instead? How?
Great message! I die daily….is a declaration that God has brought to my attention this week…I need to have this attitude in my heart and than like you said…I don’t have any entitlement except for my inheritance in Christ which does not include indulgent eating….now to put this into practice..to press the pause button when I feel this way and read this truth…that is the key….!! Thanks Heidi for persevering with us!
Thank YOU, Marie, for the encouraging words. You all are the best!
I count all things loss, that I may gain Christ Jesus, amen. NO MORE entitlement attitude! =) Keep persevering in the power of Christ Jesus. LOVE YOU SISTER Heidi. Thank you for sharing with us all. Great vidio. I’m praying that WE ALL stay in our 0-5 eating. God bless you all. Amen
Woo……after the weekend of eating like a crazy woman I needed this post. I was completely out of control this weekend. It kind of happens like a slow slide to a ravine jump for me. Today I have redone my boundaries and plan and I have created a FUN DAY/BUSY Day plan because for some crazy reason those days are definitely my hardest and I have GOT to have a plan in place to help me stay between 0 and 5 because once I go out of my boundaries it can be difficult to reel myself back in. I have also realized that I associate fun with food. This is a real struggle for me that I have to break free from those thoughts and beliefs, so that I do have new beliefs which will affect my actions and create new patterns in my life.
Regarding entitlement, I think that I struggle with “why do I work so hard all week or do so well staying in my boundaries to mess it up in 2 days and then regain what I worked so hard to lose?” This is entitlement for me. I think I deserve a reward for 5 days of working harder and longer to stay in the boundaries, so why should 2 days mess that all up. That is just not the realistic case though. It is a dream world. Today on Sound Cloud, I recorded how I feel when I don’t adhere to my boundaries. Now I have a sound cloud file on the good of staying in the boundaries and the way I feel to be out of my boundaries. In the past I listed why my boundaries are good on the blog. Here is my list on how I feel when I break my boundaries: I feel yucky. I feel tired. I feel guilty. I feel out of control and I struggle getting back on track. The cycle is vicious! I feel stuffed in my clothes. I gain weight. I feel hopeless, desperate and aggravated with myself. I feel spiritually embarrassed. I don’t feel attractive. I feel disappointed in myself. It is not always easy to get back to 0 to 5 eating.
Here is why my boundaries are good: My boundaries make me more conscious of when, where and how much to eat. They help me to stop and consider what I am doing, If I stick to my boundaries they will be life changing. They give me peace, hope and joy. I find my satisfaction in God instead of food. Following my boundaries improves my health. They make me feel better physically, spiritually and emotionally. When I stay in my boundaries I feel closer to God and I like myself better. Staying in my boundaries feels so good! My body and my spirit feel happy! Without boundaries I go wild- like out of control! They help me to have a willing spirit and to stay focused.
If I will take the time to go over how I feel in my boundaries vs. outside of my boundaries, then I believe it will deter me from throwing my grown up temper tantrum and having my way over the way God has called me to eat.
Wow, Adriane. Great list(s). Thanks for sharing. I am encouraged to stay within my boundaries after reading your lists! Seriously…it is so clear when someone else says it. 🙂
I got a kick out of that video! Something I was thinking about while watching it is that we are getting down to the bare bones of renewing our mind. God is SERIOUS about this! I really believe renewing our minds is so key to this journey.
I’m praying about whether I need to change to new secondary boundaries; I feel like I’m making way with what I have been doing, but I think I may hang out with my current secondary boundaries for another week or until the Lord shows me different.
I’ve been making some Sound Cloud files. Not sure if anyone would be interested in hearing them, but I just want to encourage: https://soundcloud.com/soaring2him I’ve been so encouraged by listening to the files when I’ve been having a hard time or feel discouraged. I hope they are an encouragement to you as well.
One of the biggest lies I had to break through was understanding that all foods were ok to eat. I was believing a lot of lies about food, almost to a point where I was fearful of eating. Actually, I was fearful of eating. It took many weeks, but the Lord broke me out of that bondage and I am praising Him for that! And now I absolutely cannot go to that place again. I have to turn my eyes away from every subtle temptation when it comes to food researching and “health”. That’s a HUGE victory in Christ!
My next hurdle has been breaking free from the diet mentality. I have found myself being tempted to going back to WW when I eat outside of my boundaries because I start to believe the lie that I cannot trust myself. The hard part for me has been knowing that WW did work and that it was something I felt the Lord blessing at that point in my life. But now it’s the next season and He wants freedom over food in my life. So I’ve been writing down truths about why dieting/WW isn’t a good thing for me. I’ve also been reading Intuitive Eating which is my favorite book about normal eating. It’s more secular, but they really get down to the basics of why dieting doesn’t work. Last week I wrote out a pros/cons list about WW and the Lord really began to speak truth to me. I know I will have victory over this soon as I continue to renew my mind in Truth!
I have enjoyed listening to your Sound Cloud files, Christina! Let us know when you post more! I think I followed you on SC. How is it going fighting the temptation? Thanks to you and others, I have a section in our Thin Within app we are developing that includes support verses when dieting is calling your name. Good idea for you to write a list of pros and cons about WW.
The video was appropriately right “in my face”…
Powerful comments so far, Marie: inheritance in Christ, Jamie: persevering, Adrianne: willing spirit.
Jesus asks me: do you want to be healed? My immediate response is duh, of course I do. Well if that’s *truth* then I have to ask myself: why do I not “pick up my mat and walk as one healed”? Hmmm, now it’s not such an obvious *yes* for me. After much studying today, I have concluded that I am holding onto the lie of *just one more full-on binge* and I will be willing to be released from this idol. It would appear that I have been very careful to only slightly binge (rofl) in order to not deal with the finality of parting with this LAST full-on binge promise made to self in my head! Of course, intellectually, I understand this is utter rubbish, but am a tad surprised at the power of the thought and the energy I have poured into it.
Good points, Lesley. “Slightly binge” sounds like “sort of pregnant.” LOL! I love the way you express things.
I’m glad you included the link for your video about Truth cards. I’m starting Week Two in my Thin Within Workbook #1 and have purchased a set of ring-bound index cards. I’ve been thinking about what to include on them and watching your video again was very helpful. I’m so thankful for your blog, Heidi.
Your Entitlement video spoke to me. One that I’ve been facing is entitlement to an ice cream cone or milkshake, simply because it’s now summer and hot out; and, well, summer and ice cream simply go together. God is good and has been helping me plan for a little ice cream, once through one of your recent video’s (planning for that small scoop in the evening) and once when my husband wanted to go for a milkshake. We shared, with him getting over 3/4 of it. I needed only a small amount and took really small drinks, savouring the cold, texture, and flavor. I finished at the same time my husband did. It was really delightful. I’m sure I enjoyed that small amount more than I used to enjoy the whole milkshake. There’s a family birthday dinner, probably at a restaurant and including a cake, coming up in a week. I know I need to plan for that meal in order to stay within my 0 – 5 boundary and invite the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom and guidance. In the past, special occasion restaurant dinners have awakened in me those feelings and thoughts of entitlement to have an appie, salad, entrée and dessert.
Hi, Sheila. Thanks for your kind words. I am glad the truth card video was helpful. I struggle with an entitlement mentality too and am working through it with God’s help. It isn’t easy, but we are making headway.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen. — 1 Peter 5:8-11 –good truth card verse
Thanks, Marie. You are so right!
Wow! I so love all these comments! I have been having such a struggle with eating in my boundaries of 0-5. I commit every day, (or so I tell myself), and then by evening everything is thrown out the door and I binge, all the while telling myself that I will start fresh tomorrow. I went to Psalm 16 and started my God list—-Thank you Heidi! 🙂 It has helped me to refocus on who God is and how He is there to help me. Why do I shut Him out when I have this “entitlement” mentality? I am beginning to realize it’s because I want what I want. I want to be in charge—ouch! May God forgive me for my arrogance! I have been reading most of Heidi’s posts because they come on my facebook news feed, and I get so excited and say to myself that I will and I can do this! But then I just toss it all out when I get around food. God has been bringing this scripture to my mind for quite awhile now and for the first time I have acknowledged that this is how I’ve been: “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.” James 1:23-24. That’s me in a nutshell. I hear the sound doctrine of what God is trying to teach me with my attitude and relationship with food, and I agree with it! But, then when I need to apply it, I justify myself, and forget, or choose to not think about it and eat way over 5. Verse 25 then points out to me how I don’t have to keep doing this. That I can be a woman who remembers who she is, and Who she belongs too. “But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.” God will be my teacher through His word, and the insight that he gives others as I walk in His truth and His grace. Thank you for this study! I am going to start making my truth cards today. God bless you!!
Hi, Mary Anne. What I used to do is try to shift my mentality. If I make the day “start” at 3pm, then what happens? If I consider the day fresh at 3pm and even have a bit of time with the Lord where I focus on that “new day is starting” feeling at that time, it sure can affect the way the rest of the afternoon and evening goes!