who brought you up out of Egypt.
Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.
-Psalm 81:10
But this hunger cannot be completely silenced. It cries out to be heard. It is our compelling desire to be loved, protected and considered precious. GTST, p. 11
I know that this resonates within me. I feel vulnerable even reading these words. My very reaction indicates that there is something inside of me that knows that there is a connection between my “compelling desire to be loved, protected, and considered precious” and my struggle with overeating all of these years. Yes, there is something here. Something, though, that I am not sure I even *want* to figure out! It seems to hold such promise and hope, yet at the same time…if I don’t silence that desire…then the desire may be left hanging…unmet…like when someone asks a question and no one answers. I know that the Lord desires to answer the question. He has, in fact, answered it in Christ. I AM loved, protected and declared precious because of Jesus!
Lord, help me to deal with these feelings that rock me to my core. My constant search for significance also seems to be related to this, too.
It is a God-given hunger for genuine intimacy wherein our deepest needs for security and significance can be substantially met. GTST, p. 11
I feel in some ways like I was “set up” to feel a lack in this regard. If It is a God-given hunger (and I believe that it is), God intends to satisfy it. My constant quest for approval and significance shows me that I am not going to the Lord as He intends to have this heart need filled/met.
I have turned to all kinds of things to fill this void. My attempts to satisfy this hunger even in “sanctified” ways have failed.
God’s way is the way of faith and freedom. When we bring our struggles with food, eating, and weight to him in honest surrender, we can be restored. GTST, p. 12.
Lord, here…take it all. I surrender all of who I am or who I think I am to you. I surrender. Please bring healing and transformation. I long for your restoration, Lord. Make me new. Not just my body…I am thankful to be the size I am now…that is true. But it all seems so superficial, so insignificant, so inconsequential if my heart, my spirit, my values, my foundation, the fabric of my life aren’t surrendered to you.
