Sometimes I can’t believe myself! Even as I diligently write sample chapters for my book proposal, and here at the blog about how awareness of God’s true attributes and praising him changes things–and it does!–I nevertheless so easily shift into the flesh. I suppose it makes sense that, after 40+ years of thinking one way, it won’t necessarily be a flip of a switch to make a change. But God has been working with me on this for a long while. Good grief!
So here is where I am. I feel like Paul in Romans 7–like there are two of me fighting. The result is I AM CRAZY! I am SO thankful that HE IS SUFFICIENT for even my insanity.
One of me focuses desperately on the Lord, blogs about him, his character and choosing to praise him. That is the person who rejoices in thanking him repeatedly throughout the day and when tempted to keep eating (and not hungry) says, “I have the Lord! I don’t need more food! I love HIM, He is trustworthy and loving! I don’t need food to satisfy me! I trust him!” (Yes, all said with exclamation points, exuberant hyperbole and superlatives!!!) As I do this, He changes me. He makes me new (again), He makes my choices new, my thoughts new. Focusing on HIM transforms ME. YAY! I was made for THIS! So were we all!
Then, suddenly, POOF! The other me is there and the “godly me” is gone. I may not notice this until I have spiraled into a different place–a darker place. It is the place of “Ugh! I never knew menopause would change me so much. How can I be so forgetful? What are those bulges on the sides of my hips and why am I carrying less weight worse than ever? And nuts…even my hunger signals are different. My hair is different! I look like a poodle! I hate this!” BAAAAAAH!!!!
Do you see what the focus of the shift is? ME! MY food, MY weight, MY “stage of life,” MY forgetfulness, MY hunger signals, MY [[gulp]] hair!
While all of this is true, certainly…that my body HAS changed and I know much of it is a result of hormonal shifts, what is UP with allowing it to draw my focus so intensely? When I do that, it doesn’t produce godly change at ALL. In fact, it makes me like the lady with the colander on her head. 🙂
When I CHOOSE to know God more and CHOOSE to praise him, I know that I choose something that changes me. It may not seem permanent, but it is an eternal investment!
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
~ 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
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it's amazing how you echo my thoughts so often!! i've been having this conversation w/my husband over and over for two weeks. i told him just the other day how crazy i felt and even quoted the same scripture. i've been singing and praising a lot more in the last week or so. many times i've been singing the song, 'it's all about you, jesus'. it's an excellent reminder, because when it's about me i AM insane…..out of control….BUT when it's about HIM, i'm so much calmer and wrestling with my 'issues' is put into perspective. i surely have them, but it's amazing how when I hyper-focus on myself i really spiral out of control!! i love the way peterson puts it in the sermon on the mount in 'the Message'….something like, 'you're blessed when your at the end of your rope, because with less of you there is more of God ….' it's hard to be at the end of your rope, especially in the moment….but now i'm actually praying to keep that humility!! thanks again for your posts!!!
it's amazing how you echo my thoughts so often!! i've been having this conversation w/my husband over and over for two weeks. i told him just the other day how crazy i felt and even quoted the same scripture. i've been singing and praising a lot more in the last week or so. many times i've been singing the song, 'it's all about you, jesus'. it's an excellent reminder, because when it's about me i AM insane…..out of control….BUT when it's about HIM, i'm so much calmer and wrestling with my 'issues' is put into perspective. i surely have them, but it's amazing how when I hyper-focus on myself i really spiral out of control!! i love the way peterson puts it in the sermon on the mount in 'the Message'….something like, 'you're blessed when your at the end of your rope, because with less of you there is more of God ….' it's hard to be at the end of your rope, especially in the moment….but now i'm actually praying to keep that humility!! thanks again for your posts!!!
Love your pictures that say a thousand words, Heidi.
Love your pictures that say a thousand words, Heidi.
Lindsay…LOL! When I saw the lady, I couldn't resist using her! :-)Jennifer, I will have to dig out the Message and look at that. It sure sounds perfect!Thanks for your encouragement!
Lindsay…LOL! When I saw the lady, I couldn't resist using her! :-)Jennifer, I will have to dig out the Message and look at that. It sure sounds perfect!Thanks for your encouragement!
Thanks for another great post. I'm reading in reverse order, but it was just what I needed!! God knew. I'm in the perimenopause stage and have a lot of the same issues going on. I didn't realize all the "me" focus going on. I have memorized 2 Cor. 4:17-18, but never thought to apply them to this "stage" of life I am in. I'm so glad I stopped by this morning. You've given me much to "chew" on today instead of food!
Thanks for another great post. I'm reading in reverse order, but it was just what I needed!! God knew. I'm in the perimenopause stage and have a lot of the same issues going on. I didn't realize all the "me" focus going on. I have memorized 2 Cor. 4:17-18, but never thought to apply them to this "stage" of life I am in. I'm so glad I stopped by this morning. You've given me much to "chew" on today instead of food!
Senkyoushi…LOL! One of the books I want to write is a devotional (with tons of humor and grace) for the pre-, peri-, post- and menopausal woman or the woman who wants to claim she is any of those. LOL! I know that this can be a stage of life with unique challenges and God is there for us!Thanks for letting me know how God is at work. oh, how sweet he is!
Senkyoushi…LOL! One of the books I want to write is a devotional (with tons of humor and grace) for the pre-, peri-, post- and menopausal woman or the woman who wants to claim she is any of those. LOL! I know that this can be a stage of life with unique challenges and God is there for us!Thanks for letting me know how God is at work. oh, how sweet he is!
Glad to know I'm not the only one driving myself nuts!!! :-)I will totally agree that the nuttiness only takes over when my eyes are on me. Reading something you wrote early this AM reminded me of that & helped me realign my focus before facing my next stressful work-week. And thank you for that!!
Glad to know I'm not the only one driving myself nuts!!! :-)I will totally agree that the nuttiness only takes over when my eyes are on me. Reading something you wrote early this AM reminded me of that & helped me realign my focus before facing my next stressful work-week. And thank you for that!!
Hi, Mel! So glad something I wrote helped! LOL! What was it…I could sure use the help. I tell you what…the best way to have everything ASSAULT you to see if you MEAN what you say is to WRITE about it! Today, i am soooooo focused on poor wittle me myself and I and I am MISERY-ABLE. So…duh…What is UP with me spouting off and NOT doing it! BAH! >:-/
Hi, Mel! So glad something I wrote helped! LOL! What was it…I could sure use the help. I tell you what…the best way to have everything ASSAULT you to see if you MEAN what you say is to WRITE about it! Today, i am soooooo focused on poor wittle me myself and I and I am MISERY-ABLE. So…duh…What is UP with me spouting off and NOT doing it! BAH! >:-/