I was feeling feisty today when I went to the doctor for my physical exam. I have “Dragon Lady” as my primary care physician. Truthfully…Last year, when I went to have my physical, she looked at my ever-escalating weight and her response was “Your *poor* horses!”
Ok, I will give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she had NO idea just how terrible a thing that was to say. Today, though, I had half a mind to tell her. I really did. I thought I would go in there now having released weight and give her a piece of my mind (that I couldn’t afford to lose) about how unprofessional she was to say that.
Not only that, but it had messed with my head BIG time…I wouldn’t ride my horses at the time partly because I feared hurting them. My most ridable horse at the time was Breezy–and he is small. Putting a 250 pound woman on him seemed somewhat brutal. He can’t weigh more than 800 sopping weight! They say a horse can carry comfortably 20% of his weight including tack…even without a saddle I was far beyond that!
So today was sort of important to me I guess. I really just wanted to get in, get out, get it over with. Whoever heard of spending Saturday afternoon getting a pap smear and breast exam? Bleah!
I didn’t have to wait long and Dr. Dragon Lady came in with her “wonderful” bedside manner saying something rather rude (I think she was trying to be funny)…as we talked I asked her to tell me what my weight had been at my last physical exam. She told me. I asked her what it was today. Both of us did the math quickly…I am down SEVENTY EIGHT pounds since June 6, 2006.
My plan to say something so clever and eloquent was reduced to this. I said: “Nanner nanner Moo Moo…”
Can you believe it? I actually SAID that! I still can’t believe I said that. Of course, she had NO idea what I was talking about and just smiled condescendingly and said, “Congratulations. What have you been doing to lose it?”
I know that no matter what I say to her, she is convinced that you only lose weight if you “Quit eating junk and start exercising.” Well, I haven’t done either faithfully…quitting eating junk? No…not even close. I have been making some more beneficial choices, yes. And my exercising has been hit and miss…sometimes faithfully playing with Dance Praise and sometimes not, but my life is moderately active anyhow with the ponies and work around here. The bottom line though is, trusting God that my body is fearfully and wonderfully made. If it *needs* food, it will tell me. If I eat only what it needs, I will release extra weight and maintain the right size when we arrive there. If I am active, I will need more food and my body will tell me.
Anyhow, sure enough…she heard what she wanted to hear. I did tell her about Thin Within, but I don’t think it registered.
One thing that was clear to me…she thinks it is all so easy. I tried explaining to her that for so many it isn’t simple. We run to food for so many reasons and, like the drug addict or alcoholic, we have to deal with “our issues” in order to truly break free from addictive and self-abusive patterns. Some of us control the substance and just switch substances.
Anyhow…I am praising the Lord that I am 78 pounds healthier than I was in June of 2006. I knew I was heavier than when I started actively doing TW in November, but I don’t think I really realized how *much* heavier!!!! Whew!
I’m so proud of you!!Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration to me!! I still struggle a lot of days.. but I will not give up on me and TW this time!
Wow! Congratulations, that is really so awesome. I just had a ‘yuck’ dr’s appointment today and need to lose a good 40 lbs. I did Weigh Down years ago with success (well obviously not so successful or I wouldn’t have gained it back!), so I got online to find it again and came up with your blog instead. Perhaps God is telling me something? So I am looking up Thin Within and checking it out. I really enjoyed reading some of your entries–thanks for your honesty. Jenhttp://homeschoolblogger.com/AFJen88/