I hope this video encourages you. It is an old one (and I did it for chapter 10 last summer, but that’s ok, as it applies now, too!). It isn’t very well done, but I hope that the concept comes across ok! I really believe grasping this is vitalto our progress! 🙂
Do you struggle with minimizing the moment that is in front of you now and maximize the moment in which you have made a poor choice?How can you approach things differently, so that you capture this moment, now, for the Lord? (And now this one? And this one? :-))
This week we are reading and completing the material in chapters 16, 17 (again), and 18. Once again, please pace yourself.
This week’s assignment:
1.)Continue your list of God’s attributes.
2.) Take time each day to praise God for some of the attributes on your list.
3.) Keep adding to your gratitude journal. I would love to hear what God is doing through the practice of keeping a gratitude journal. Share it with us if you feel so led.
4.) Read and complete day 16. Re-read day 17. Read day 18. All reading and activities through page 192.
5.) Day 16 provides opportunities to evaluate how you are doing in this journey–to evaluate your progress toward the goals you may have set in Day 3. I want to caution you not to fixate too much on size or weight. Even if you are not yet noticing a change in the way your clothes fit, ask the Lord to show you what work He is doing inside of you. He says he IS doing a new thing. He says he WILL finish that which He has begun. Then, if you sense His Spirit leading you personally to do so, implement the suggestions in chapter 16. Please listen to His voice, though. That is the most important part of this entire journey!
6.) During Day 16, you are asked to dig into your heart, life, and past and recall “Significant Times” that happened to you. Last Monday, I did that very thing in my post last Monday, The Weight of Sexual Abuse. We know that the “Significant Times” exercise can be especially painful for some. Please pray about it and do as the Lord leads you personally. This could be an experience that offers the potential for breakthrough! Most of us have reasons that we have developed a tendency to eat more food than we need. As we evaluate some of these challenging “Significant Times,” we begin to dismantle the thing that may keep us stuck in repeating patterns that are, ultimately, ungodly. That is a good thing! If you feel overwhelmed, please don’t hesitate to call a favorite pastor or therapist to get godly wisdom to help you process what God is showing you. He intends for us to be healed and to break free from sinful patterns!
7.) As you re-read chapter 17, the chapter on Gratitude, does God speak to your heart in any way? It really is cool to know that when we wonder what God’s will is, we don’t have to wonder too terribly far. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminds us that giving thanks in all circumstances IS God’s will for us in Christ! How can you foster a life of gratitude? I promise you that it makes all the difference in the world!
8.) Now that you are farther along in your Thin Within journey, what do you think of the Hunger Graph? Is it a tool that the Lord may be using you to try? If so, visit this link at the Thin Within website. It will open a pdf file. If you want, you can print out page 2 of this document and use it each day as long as the Lord leads you to do so.
If you want to hear what God taught me about the hunger graph back in 2002, you can fast forward this video to about four minutes into it. At that point, Lori Robertson asks me about what God has shown me with the hunger graph. Some of you might find it helpful.
9.) In Day 18, we evaluate boundaries a bit. This is actually one of the most important teachings of Thin Within! Diets have lists of good foods, dangerous foods, bad foods, etc. Some of us struggle with letting go of those food labels we have held on to for so long. In Day 18, we use a different way of thinking about foods. This is where the second phase of Thin Within really kicks into gear. We prayerfully evaluate each food we are likely to eat and categorize them into “Pleasers,” “Teasers,” “Whole Body Pleasers,” and “Total Rejects.” Whatever you do, don’t skip this activity! It is INVALUABLE! 🙂 While all foods ARE permissible, we know that we know that we know that not all foods are beneficial at a given moment. If I am tired and cranky, the last thing I want to do is feed a total stomach-hungry zero with a candy bar. My taste buds would like it, but I would end up crankier and crash and burn within the hour! For me, in that situation, I can use discernment to know that it wouldn’t be beneficial to eat that candy bar, even though I *could*. My freedom tells me that I am free TO eat the candy bar, but I have also grown a bit to see that I am now free from HAVING to eat the candy bar! I can make another selection–a selection that, in that moment, will help me feel better. I can save the candy bar for a time when I am not a mess already! 🙂
Share your lists with us…what are some of your whole body pleasers? What are some of your total rejects? Everyone’s list will be different. Some people love fruits and vegetables. Some like me, don’t. The only way I like vegetables is in fresh salsa! Then it is truly a whole body pleaser for me! So guess what? I get a lot of my veggies that way! 🙂
10.) How are you doing? Is God growing you in any way? Are you seeing any changes emotionally? Spiritually? Physically? Tell us about it! I would love to have testimonials to share with Judy and Arthur Halliday or Joe and Pam Donaldson!
11.) Come to a chat this week! We would love to have you. Even if you can only come for 15 minutes, I hope you will give it a try. Visit this link to find out when, how, and where!
Ever onward! God IS doing a new thing! Praise Him!
Day 15in Thin Within is filled with some wonderful thoughts. Even if you aren’t studying with us, you can choose to enjoy a meal being especially intentional about applying all the Keys of Conscious Eating. You will want to plan ahead. Then, once you have determined to have the experience, bathe it in prayer and gratitude throughout!
I don’t advise starting with such HUGE portions, but you can definitely choose foods you enjoy!
In case you don’t have the book, these are the keys you want to apply intentionally for one meal and evaluate how the eating experience goes for you!
Thin Within Keys to Conscious Eating
1. Eat only when my body is hungry. Be sure you have no doubt when you eat for this special meal. Note how much better the food tastes, too!
2. Reduce the number of distractions to eat in a calm environment. For one meal especially, set aside a time, a place, an opportunity when you can have babysitting if you need it–whatever it takes to have a calm situation for your meal!
3. Eat when I am sitting. This may seem silly, but we eat a lot of food on our feet cooking or cleaning up or when passing through the kitchen. For this special meal experience, be sure to be seated.
4. Eat only when my mind and body are relaxed. This is where prayer comes in. I also find praising God for his attributes and giving thanks for things he has done helps me to get my eyes off of my trials and on to HIM! 🙂
5. Eat and drink the food and beverages that I enjoy. You may need to play a trip to your favorite restaurant for this special meal experience. If so, please just do it. It will be worth it. Even if it is a bit expensive, you will discover that you will have leftovers to enjoy another time. Of course, ask the Lord if it is something that he is glorified in and then follow the leading of His Holy Spirit.
6. Pay attention to my food while eating. While you are being intentional with this special meal, be sure to really focus on your food. Note what is on your plate or in your dish. Take stock of the entire experience. Even if you have chosen to have someone present with you, you can do this. 🙂
7. Eat slowly, savoring each bite. This key is one of the most important. When I intentionally slow down, I notice the texture of the food in my mouth and the subtle nuances of flavor. I have a tendency to eat much too fast. For this special meal experience, please be sure to slow way down and “Nom! Nom! Nom!” your food! 🙂
8. Stop before my body is full.If you have applied the other keys, you will sense when you are nearing “satisfied”–a 5. For me, I have found that eating slowly is really an important key to be able to stop before I am full. If I eat slowly and enjoy my food, I can enjoy half as much food in the same time it previously took me to eat twice as much and my mind thinks it has had just as much food! I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else, but it helps me!
What was your Perfect Meal Experience like? How much food did it take compared to how much you normally eat? What was your level of enjoyment of the experience? What did you learn from this exercise? 🙂
By the tine you read this, I will be heading off to the airport. I get to go visit an incredibly dear friend. I will be flying off to Mt. Vernon, Washington to visit my original mentor and friend, Debby Lynn. It was sitting in her bible study and getting to be a part of her life where God gave me the desire: “I want to know, love, and live God’s Word like she does.”
I believe I never could have participated in the work with Thin Within and definitely not the writing of the book had it not been for Debby’s influence in my life. So in a very real way, she has ministered here and on the forums as well (even though she has never literally been to either!).
Anyhow, I will see you all Monday evening. The blog will continue to be active while I am gone as I have set up a couple of posts to keep posting.
The winner in our drawing for the workbook kit #1 is lacangeleyes from the Thin Within forums. There were over 20 names entered in the drawing and she is the winner!
If you happen to come to Cool, California and hear the shrill “call of the wild” of what sounds like a woman laughing hysterically, it could be you are close to where I live with my family, dogs and ponies.
Meet Dodger.
He is our mustang. And verrrrry talkative. Frankly, he would just assume be returned to roam the range as hang out with people and he doesn’t have much use for other domestic horses, either. He seems to think he is in a class all his own (and the other horses treat him like he is right). He doesn’t prefer life inside a fence line–except for one thing–the abundance of food to which he has access compared to what was offered him 20 years ago in the Nevada desert when he was wild!
Dodger is always preparing for the famine–or so it seems. He inhales anything that is edible, and many things that we thought weren’t edible! He is an “easy keeper,” which simply means that he gains weight on air. 🙂 (I wonder if *I* am an “easy keeper!” LOL!)
But being round doesn’t stop him from always wanting food and hollering for it incessantly.
For instance, if my husband or I should happen to open a window in the midnight hour because it has finally gotten cool enough outside (the horse pasture is down the hill), Dodger shrieks his shrill whinny through the night. Some may have problems with barking dogs in the wee hours. Well, it is our horse hollering that may get us in trouble.
Why does he do this? Any sign of life at any time of the day OR night, and Dodger feels the need to communicate: “Me! Me! Feed me! Have you forgotten me?“
Go figure! I DO feed him what he needs. Actually, probably more than he needs judging from his rolly polly physique. 😀 I never forget him. He is precious to me. I will always be faithful to bring him his next meal or be sure I arrange someone who will. He needn’t be anxious about that. The provision is there!
Nevertheless, he continues to communicate any hour of the day or night, “I am here! I need FOOD!”
Dodger reminds me of me. Like my round friend, I won’t be starving any time soon. In fact, I have plenty of “meat on my bones” as my mustang does on his. There is no famine coming any time soon. Just as thoughts of food seem to distract my mustang from anything else (like staying still during monthly hoof trimming), making him ancy and eager, I, too, have thoughts of food on my mind constantly! Or just about!
In my case, it isn’t about the way I was raised–unlike Dodger, I have never had to scavenge the desert dust to ferret out the nutrition I need to stay alive! I am surrounded with abundance! The reason I think about food so much is because I have developed the habit of looking to food to satisfy some other need or hunger in my life.
If I hollered every time I thought of food, I wonder if my family and friends would ever have any peace! Actually, I know the answer to that one. They wouldn’t! God is definitely working on me in this–and there has been progress, certainly! Thankfully!
So, as evening falls, I open the back door and the greeting of my equine friend reverberates through the forest as if to sound the dinner bell, I am reminded of this passage in Psalms:
The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
– Psalm 145:15-16
Our Great GOD is the provider of the food I need, but I love that He also satisfies my desires. I need to turn to Him!
How about you? Are you like Dodger, always anticipating the next meal before the food in front of you is gone? Are you looking to food to satisfy a need or desire that the Lord wants to meet for you? He promises that he will give you food at the proper time and satisfy your desires, too. Let’s look to Him today for this!
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If you want to read or see more about Dodger and what a special pony he is, please visit this YouTube video. It presents the partnership he has had with Daniel, my autism spectrum son. For more pictures of Dodger (who was featured in Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover’s Soul Volume 2) go to this link. You can read a shortened version of the Chicken Soup story at the Bureau of Land Management website here.
I have also been accused of waffling around…of not being committed enough!
So, is Thin Within the only way to lose weight? What about if you are a Christian?
In my life I have lost 100s of pounds including 105 lbs. with Weight Watchers…most of which I promptly gained back once the accolades stopped coming and an overuse injury stopped my obsessive exercising.
And, as you may know, I released 100 pounds with the Thin Within approach — eating between physiological hunger and physiological satisfaction — between June of 2006 and September of 2007. I went a bit too far in my thinness and now I am a healthy size for my stage of life, but still working on being consistently active to fend off all the aches and pains that assault my body.
So, what do I believe? Is Thin Within the only approach that is suitable for a Christian?
I think I would have to ask what a person’s highest desire is. If we are going to answer that biblically, we would probably say that our highest desire should be, even if it isn’t, to be like Christ, to make him known, and glorify him.
The Westminster Shorter Catechism puts it this way:
“What is the chief end of man?”
‘To glorify God and enjoy him forever!”
So then, whatever we do in life…whatever we do…the question can be asked, “Does this glorify God? Do I enjoy Him in this?”
And: “Am I becoming more Christlike through this endeavor?”
Diets are designed to have rules to follow. The approach to most diets is “Follow these rules and you will lose weight.” “Do these things and you will win the reward.” Much of the time, it is prescriptive. Little attention is given to hunger or satisfaction. A lot of attention is given to the food, manipulating it, counting it, preparing etc., etc.
How like the Law this is!
My personal struggle with this is that with the focus being on food and on rules in dieting, I am not sure how dieting can actually move me forward in my desire to be Christlike, to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. For me, dieting is like the law…I have been set free FROM these things!
So I say, live by the Spirit,
and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit,
and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.
They are in conflict with each other,
that you do not do what you want.
But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
~ Galatians 5:16-17
Thin Within is about nothing if it isn’t about learning to listen and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit as He directs you personally and specifically.
As you progress through Thin Within, you will discover that because there are no laws and rules to follow, your dependence on the Lord can grow–if you let it. Nothing else has done for my personal walk with God what the Thin Within approach has.
So, for me, I can say with confidence, Thin Within IS the only way. My focus on the Lord has intensified, my worry and concern about my size, shape, weight, and food has dissipated. I have been able to enjoy freedom that I could have only dreamed exist.
Which is most consistent with my godly goals of becoming like Christ and to glorify him?
For me, the answer is clear–depending on God for courage, strength and wisdom to know what he is leading me to eat, why he is leading me to eat, and when he is leading me to eat–is God’s answer to me about my weight and eating problem.
Dieting actually totally 100% counter to it.
How about you? Do you still feel like dieting is a viable alternative–one that you may yet return to? Why do you think dieting still seems inviting to you, if it is?
We are looking at the blessing of Developing Discernment today during our chat time. Come whether you are keeping pace with us in our study or not! Come even if you can only come for a little while! Just come! We would love to have you.
We are chatting from 5-6pm Pacific Time. That is 7-8pm Central and 8-9pm Eastern.
No daddy ever intends to molest his baby girl. In fact, most daddies would kill (or seriously maim) any man that did such things to their daughters.
That is the tricky thing about sexual addiction—it is progressive. It takes something a bit more dangerous, a bit more “naughty,” like most addictions, to get the same thrill. Even if that “something” is molesting your own daughter. A man who never dreamed of doing such things, does. He is compelled as if by some unseen force, to do the atrocious, the dreadful, the horrific.
My dad was a medical doctor. His patients thought he walked on water. He was a hero to the masses by day and a child molester by night. Sex addiction is no respecter of persons. Professional saint or struggling ex-con, it doesn’t matter.
I am sure my daddy lived in an alcohol-enhanced state of denial about what he did routinely. As a pre-teen, I was uncertain about life and doubted the love of troubled parents. I didn’t want to “hurt his feelings,” so I tried only to shift just out of reach of his groping hands, but I never actually stopped him. I didn’t even really understand that he was doing something that was so heinously wrong. I knew it felt “yucky.” Years of loving (and proper) scratching of my back as we watched TV together evolved into a demon that owned his soul and sucked the life and innocence out of me through the hands of the man I should most be able to trust for protection. I learned to despise the daddy whose approval I so longed for. My virtue was killed by his addiction and so was my image of what a loving Father is. (Is it any wonder I struggle with the image of a good Heavenly Father to this day?)
Photo Courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu
Over thirteen years later, while in a courtroom serving on jury duty for the first time, the judge described the allegations against the accused. As I heard the sordid details of what the man supposedly did, my heart raced. My mind screamed with absolute certainty: “HE IS GUILTY! Make him a eunuch!” The man was accused of molesting young girls at his daughter’s slumber party. During the judge’s description, I flashed back to one of my own slumber parties years before where my father had encouraged my girlfriends and I to go “skinny dipping” in our swimming pool. I remembered seeing him peek out the window through curtains barely parted and had assumed he had been looking out for us to be sure we were safe from a late-night pool accident.
I had a rude awakening in the courtroom that day. The judge cleared the court and questioned me about my obvious agitation. Fresh in the awareness that what had happened to me was, in fact, the stigma of “child molestation,” I was dismissed “for cause.”
And so began the road to healing.
The journey has been long. I carried not only the emotional devastation of what my dad did, but also a literal physical weight—a self-imposed prison that provided safety for years. I discovered as a pre-teen that I could comfort and anesthetize myself with food. The subsequent weight gain of using food this way also served to hide my “girlish” features from the eyes and hands of any would-be violators—Dad, or neighborhood boys who, I found, were after the same things. Behind a wall of fat, I would be left alone.
That courtroom realization was some twenty-plus years ago. I am now involved in ministry to women who struggle with body, eating, and food issues. I have discovered that many of the women I have the pleasure of ministering to have similar histories. Their issues with food, eating, and the self-loathing of their bodies often began with fathers, uncles or “friends” who used the girls they knew as their personal play things. Some of these women have been molested. A few have been raped. All have plunged themselves into the comforting arms of food where they have found stability and safety. The extra weight many of us carry has served as a protective shell, guarding a precious treasure hidden away beneath—a priceless prize that was violated at some point our lives.
For many of us, our eating and body issues began as a product of sexual abuse at some point in our lives. In fact, many of us may not even realize it until we have a moment like I did in the courtroom that day…and the awareness that we were molested falls on us like a cold winter.
For some of us, shame has caused us to embrace the identity associated with a sin that was committed against us. This has wreaked havoc with our view of ourselves, our view of God and, often, our view of men.
The long, hard, climb out of the pit in which we find ourselves can only happen through the fellowship of sharing in the sufferings of Christ. There is no easy solution. Jesus told us that the truth will set us free—even a truth that is extremely painful to face. Although he was speaking of the Word of God, I have nevertheless experienced this principle holds true about facing my past as well. As I refuse to run from the truth in my past, choosing, instead to embrace it and to walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death with the One who was there all along, believing God will redeem the years the locusts have eaten, I begin to find healing of my wounds.
I am a healthy weight now and enjoy a blessed relationship with a godly husband who is a gift from the Lord. I must daily die to self—especially as it relates to choosing to forgive my now-deceased father for what he stole from me. I choose to pursue a walk with Jesus in present time. This isn’t “sanctified denial,” but it brings me step-by-step closer to that which God intends.
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This post was written specifically for “Sex Abuse Week” for The Idea Camp. I got involved in this blogging project when I saw a post by Dan King of BibleDude.net asking for bloggers who might be willing to speak out about difficult topics regarding sexuality and the Church leading up to a conference that is scheduled for September.
When I heard that one of the themes was sex abuse, I knew that I had to write about an aspect of my story I have only alluded to previously. With Dan’s kind encouragement, I revisited some of the darker places in my personal history. The result is a somewhat rough piece, but I hope you will yet discover the amazing, relentless grace of God.
Thank you, Dan, for believing that the captives can yet be set free.
This week we are reading and completing the material in chapters 13, 14, and 15. Pace yourself! I didn’t do a very good job of that this past week! How about you?
This week’s assignment:
1.) Please check in!If you are going through the study with us, would you mind commenting? Anyone who checks in on THIS post and makes a comment on THIS post, will be in a drawing to win a Thin Within workbook kit! Yes, you read that correctly! 🙂 If you comment on THIS post by Wednesday, July 28, I will put your name in a hat. I will draw a name Thursday morning of this week and have Joe Donaldson from Thin Within send you a workbook kit if I draw YOUR name! 🙂 Just let me know in your comment that you are studying with us, or gleaning something from the study, or…well, whatever you want! If you aren’t sure how to comment, just below the word “Print PDF,” click on the word “Comments.” It looks like this:
Rebuilding God’s Temple Workbook #1 Details
2010-07-24T12:00:00-07:00
Heidi Bylsma
Posted by Heidi Bylsma at 12:00 PMComments (4)
Click on “Comments” at the bottom of this post and you will be able to post your check in and be included in the drawing for a free Thin Within workbook kit!
2.) Continue your list of God’s attributes. What are you learning about the Lord? I saw that Believerkjk has a blog she is using to chronicle her Thin Within journey and she has posted down her sidebar a list of “What God is Like.” I love that idea!
3.) You have seen this before: Take time each day to praise God for some of the attributes on your list. Let’s keep it up! This praising prayer is powerful! Especially when we are tempted to give in to “Woe is me…” Remember, instead of “Woe is me, Great is God!”
4.) Keep adding to your gratitude journal.You are keeping one, right? 🙂 Trust me when I say that it isn’t gritting your teeth and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps that will transform you and this journey for you! It is exalting God to His rightful place, praising him for who he is and thanking him for what he does! This is the way we keep ourselves in our place, too!God is at work transforming us from the inside out.
5.) Read and complete Days 13, 14, and 15 – through page 159.
6.)Respond to this thought this week on the Thin Within forums or here: One of the temptations we will face on this journey comes as we realize, though simple, eating less food is far from easy. The freedom we are offered can actually be frightening, especially given that we have used food to cope with stress in the past (often). Now we have too much freedom! Or so it seems! We don’t trust ourselves and then, when we DO eat less, we FEEL! We don’t like that! This is when we will be tempted to return again to the slavery of dieting. Have you had that temptation yet? If not, it will probably hit. Many begin to feel tempted to count points or calories again. What lies are at work? What is truth that you can use to combat the lies?
7.)Can you identify with William Well-Meaning, Larry the Legalist, or Abigail the Achiever mentioned in chapter 13? Which one and why? What practical things can you do to keep yourself on the Path of God’s Provision?
8.) Describe “Spirit-filled eating“ (page 136). What do you think of that term?
9.) Complete the “Belief, Actions, Result” activity on page 146. What truths has God brought home to you during the completion of this material?
10.)Speak the ten affirmations on page 147 out loud. What do you think as you say these things? Do you believe them?
11.)Plan ahead for Day 15. On Day 15 you will arrange an opportunity for yourself where you can have a meal that absolutely delights your taste buds, but where you practice all the Keys to Conscious Eating. We want you to have a chance to experience what it is like to eat and live this way by being really intentional about it. You can plan the meal to be out or in, the atmosphere to be “just so,” the foods and beverage to be what you love, to have a companion(s) or not. If you need a babysitter, plan it in advance. This is “on-the-job training” in how to live and eat the Thin Within way!
12.) Join us at one of our chats this week! You can find the chat schedule at our God Is Doing a New Thing website). There is a link to instructions there as well.
Look for ways that God is at work in your life this week. We know that he promises that he IS doing something new this week. Of this, we can be certain! Philippians 1:6 says so and so does Isaiah 43:18-19!
Don’t forget to comment by WEDNESDAY on THIS post, to be in the drawing for the free workbook kit!
