Thanks, folks, for your kind encouragement.
I am in an odd place today. I am wondering if, at some level, I have been deceiving myself about my eating. I want to be sure I always offer this to God…always…and ask Him what HE says. It is so easy to deceive myself, truly. Maybe I am doing some of that here as well.
So, today, I think I will eat half of what I normally do…”normally” since being on this leg of my journey. Maybe my portions have sort of gradually expanded to be more than they were when I was releasing the weight and keeping it off. I know that my God-given size is definitely not the 150 that it was when I was drinking all that caffeine, but I look at my body and see that God may want me to find a “happy medium.”
I know that there is a BIG work ahead…in order to be a godly, faithful steward of my body, God’s temple, I know I need to be more methodical and intentional about being sure I get an appropriate amount of activity. My life has been quite active during the past few years…but right now, I am not riding my horses…and that means I am not as active. When I ride, I often get off and walk for the exercise, in part, but also because my riding horses are in their 20s and going up and down steep hills is hard on their joints…
Since I am not riding right now, I am not doing those extra walks…
I know that I am less active, but I also know that this doesn’t cause weight to creep back on–not if I eat between 0 and 5. When I am less active, I will be at a 0 less frequently. Maybe this is where the “deception” is..maybe I am eating like I have been when I have been more active…assuming that I am hungry when maybe it is more of a psychological “of course I am hungry now…” sort of thing.
Well, no matter. I will commit it to prayer and allow God to form Christ in me through my wondering. I definitely don’t want to assume I have things “down pat!”
Thank you again for the encouragement.