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When I was in high school, my friend, Shauna, and I routinely packed away an entire large pizza at the nearby Shakey’s pizza parlor. Another typical activity was entering Baskin Robbins (an ice cream store), talking loudly about “All the people coming over tonight who will enjoy eating a Mud Pie with us…” There were NO other people. We bought the Mud Pie for us to eat all by ourselves! We were just too embarrassed to let the clerk believe that we didn’t have a host of people joining us! (Maybe asking for two spoons was a give away!)
We often joked about how “jolly” we were when we were together because of how much we enjoyed eating together.
Do you have someone like this in your life? Or even sort of like this in your life?
One friend of mine calls an “eating partner” a “drinking buddy.” She has a point. I guess psycho-speak might refer to this as being “co-dependent.”
How do you think God feels about this partnership at this stage of your life? If eating within the boundary of physical hunger and satisfaction is something that you are convinced God wants you to do, maybe you will need to come up with a new strategy for this friendship. Maybe a secondary boundary is in order when/if/for what purpose you get together with your “drinking buddy.” It might be as simple as switching restaurants. You could suggest you split a meal together. Or, perhaps, you could switch “activities” altogether! Is it possible you need just to stop getting together for a month or two? Ouch!
What do you think? Is there someone in your life that you may need to take a “hiatus” from temporarily? What will you gain if you do? What will you lose if you don’t?
I have a friend that I love so much so I just eat like a glutton comfortably in front of her. We went out this week and I told her ahead of time about my boundaries and asked if she would hold me accountable. We ended up splitting a meal and had a full to go container to take home. It was awesome!!! We enjoyed each other’s company and still felt great!
What if you live with him? And he sabotages me all the time.
Have you talked to him about it Debbie? Tell him how you feel and that you need his help. I have heard of other women that deal with the same things. Sometimes I think their husbands are afraid of change.
I concur with the sabotage, however my husband said yesterday that he is going to listen to me when it comes to eating. So we will see what happens. Happy Saturday!
Here is a thought…and I know it may not be a “happy” thought, but in the effort of renewing our minds with truth…here goes. God knows the situation we are in. He is sovereign and he is good. There is something that God intends we learn as we are in the situation we are in…if we are married, this is a gift from God–even if we think our husbands are merely unsupportive or as obstinate saboteurs. What we may want to do is ask God to show us what HIS thoughts are about our situations. I think of Paul in Philippians who says that he has learned to be content in all situations and that key is that Christ enables him to do all things. Peter says we have everything we need for life and godliness. Sometimes, I know I try to blame *others* for my own weakness. This has been going on since the dawn of time when Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. Perhaps God is calling us to be more than conquerors even in THIS situation. It might mean we want to humbly go to our husbands when there isn’t an emotionally charged moment and confess our struggle with eating outside of godly boundaries, especially when certain invitations are issued and to ask kindly if they will support us…express our fears and our frustration with *ourselves* and our bodies…
I guess I would just suggest to all of us to ask God to show us… “What are your thoughts, God, about my situation?” and “Teach me to think YOUR thoughts after you about my situation.” We want to renew our minds with truth. Do we really believe that God thinks of our situations as putting us in a position where we can’t help but give in to temptation?
1 Corinthians 10:13 says that no temptation has come upon us except that which is common to man (woman) and God is FAITHFUL. GOD is faithful. No one else may be… GOD is faithful and HE will provide a way out when we are tempted so we can stand up under it. Trick is, we have to be willing to take the way out he provides. Therein is the rub. I think it is more likely that I often prefer to blame someone else for my own sin, than take responsibility for it. That would be like admitting that *I* could change…and should change.
Truth is…I can and should.
With love,
Heidi
Family gatherings can be a bit of a challenge. Learning to say no thank you when I’m not hungry. We have moved away from family so we are not at gatherings any more…just me and hubby! = ) he is supportive of my health and eating when hungry. If I mess up with my eating I tell my self to stop it and ask God to help me and get right back on track…next hunger pain! God’s grace is sufficient. Amen.
Amen!
My husband has been my evening eating buddy for 40 years. Since starting TW this was hard to overcome! I agree with Heidi it’s my sin. Once I realized this I now say no I’m not hungry right now. He thought I was crazy the first few nights but now he accepts my answer with no problem. God’s grace!
Found this message this morning after seriously wanting to give up this losing battle w/my estranged husband. (Virus) He wants to continue to “bond” (his idea of helping) by forcing the”diet” calorie counting, etc. mentality. I don’t want to focus on food but schedule and decide for myself w/out guilt what to eat. I want to be thankful and healthy. A “Worship”! Still don’t have hunger mechanisms due to anorexic behavior but can identify 0-5.