This is a short video clip that my daughter took of me going down our saucer run while we were at Lake Tahoe this week.
I wish I could describe all that I feel and think when I see this video. There is so much here.
I know I said it already…So many years I saw them off. I spent the vacation times at home while the family went up to the snow to have fun…I chose to stay home instead of trying to shove my body into warmer clothes and to labor climbing up the sledding hills in the thinner air and higher elevation. I didn’t want the humiliation that I felt being so self-conscious…and I couldn’t see how putting my body through so much work could be fun for me. I was so out of shape. The humiliation and shame of how I looked and that I would be embarassed…well, it all tormented me.
So I just told the kids and hubby I would hold down the fort at home and take care of all the animals, have some quiet time alone and all would be fine.
For years I missed out on so much.
Now, Daniel doesn’t enjoy the snow as much as he did when he was younger. It won’t be long before my babies are grown up and off on their own with other things to do than go with their folks to the snow or play on saucer runs.
I chose to miss it.
Please, reader…don’t miss living because of weight or your self-concept. God has more than that for us! He wants us to LIVE! If you are tempted to give in to isolating because of shame or whatever the reason…don’t do it. Don’t let the enemy win. The battle is worth the fight for a million reasons.
Heidi: Thanks for the pictorial (video) illustration for your post. “A picture is worth a thousand words”. I’ve also given into fears and passed up a couple of vacations since my celiac disease (and dairy allergy) diagnoses. During the first year after diagnosis, I still had some chronic gut pains (due to still undiagnosed allergies and intestinal infections), but mostly I couldn’t imagine finding safe (non allergic) foods to eat away from home. During the next year I bravely risked a vacation, made some bad choices (consumed foods for which I didn’t have an ingredients label) and suffered allergic reaction painful symptoms. Nevertheless I fondly remember that vacation. I forgot the pain and remembered the fun.I enjoyed Maui vacations for the next 2 years, but passed last year, because I was still struggling with painful symptoms (due to yet undiagnosed parasite and candida problems). Yesterday we started planning our next vacation. I won’t let anything stop me this year.