Getting Back on the Horse, Again–AGAIN! :)

Getting Back on the Horse, Again–AGAIN! :)

harleymay2007

I used to write about my challenges with my horse, Harley, on a Yahoo group I was a part of. Readers of the posts said they thought that he breathed fire based on my description of him. I had turned him into a 5-headed monster! The truth was, he was spunky and needed reassurance from his human. If he didn’t get that…well, he might…um…buck. 🙂 Yes…BUCK.

Unfortunately for both of us, I wasn’t really situated very well to give him those reassurances. So…well…buck he did. Land on the ground…yes…I did that…frequently. I couldn’t stand the thought of coming off…again and again and again. I just quit riding him in 2005. The fact that I was 100 pounds overweight at the time, certainly contributed to my decision. I was somewhat convinced that my large size *hurt* him to carry! It broke my heart, but I was so tired of failure.

Finally, with the help of a couple of very gifted trainers…who trained me…I dusted myself off and got back on the horse. The above picture was taken, the second time I rode him after a two year lay off. I decided that I was done “giving up.”

You can tell by the smile on my face how I felt about the experience. The thing that strikes me about this picture is I finally overcame my fear and, other than the “death grip” of my right hand on the rein, I am riding with merely a halter! (No saddle!) It is one of my favorite pictures of Harlinator and me because in it, I had come such a far distance from where I had been.

[Note: Here is a video of the first time I got back on Harley after those two years of staying off. This was shot about a week before the photo above was taken. See if there are any similarities to how you feel when you consider “getting back on the Thin Within horse!” Note Melissa telling me to remember to “Breathe!”]

I haven’t come off of Harley in a long while, but when I did the last time, I dusted myself off immediately. I observed where I went wonky. I made note of a needed correction so that whatever-it-was wasn’t likely to happen again. Then I put my foot in the stirrup and lifted myself back in the saddle.

I approach my “eating life” the same way. When I fall off the horse, I don’t wait around until I feel like getting back on. I observe and correct and hop back on up in the saddle. There is fun to be had. Places to go! Adventures to enjoy! I don’t want to indulge myself in self-pity and woe-is-me self deprecation.

So, did you stay on the horse yesterday? Did all your good intentions win out? Did you keep your rear firmly in the saddle and are you smiling big, knowing that you DID it?

Or…Or did you get thrown off? Are you licking your wounds, mercilessly inflicted by the “Ultimate Caramel Apple Pie?” Or just a few too many bites (past 5) of turkey and gravy?

Well, I want to encourage you…you CAN get off the ground and back on that horse right now! 🙂 It is WORTH IT!

I was asked recently by one of my coaching clients…”What do you do when you overeat…when you overeat by a LOT?”

The answer…simply…is you just wait for hunger again. Presto! No big heavy emotional guilt tripping allowed! Instead, just get back on that horse and start riding again. Wait for 0 and serve yourself a modest portion, stopping when you are no longer hungry. It really IS that simple!

I do find it VERY helpful to build a foundation for lasting change if I deal with the beliefs that fuel my actions. Really, I can’t say this enough. We can keep restraining ourselves with “will power,” but unless we change the way we think and what we believe (beliefs fuel actions which fuel a lifestyle), we will find ourselves back where we were before or—worse. At the very least, change won’t be sustained.

God wants my heart more than he wants me to be thin. So it stands to reason he won’t let me be content to just lose weight. I got to the place where I carried 100 extra pounds on my frame because I believed food was a better comforter than God. I got to the place where I sustained such a large size because I turned to food to be my savior instead of to the Lord.

So, it stands to reason that the real work will have to be in my mind.

No, you really probably don’t need to read another book.

… and you probably don’t need to read the Thin Within book again.

Those things may be helpful, sure. But what you may need, if you are anything like me, is to work on what you believe more than what you know. You probably know plenty! But what do you believe?

If you watch even the first moments of the video I referenced above, you will see that I believed  that I was going to get hurt. The ride didn’t flow. It was hindered by my beliefs. By the time I was on Harley a week or two later bareback and with the halter, though, I believed that things were going to work between us! What I believe makes a HUGE difference in my actions! Watch the video to see what I mean!

So, what lies were motivating you yesterday if you overate? What truth can counter the lies?

EVERYTHING is redeemable by our wonderful Lord! In fact, no matter what you may have done eating-wise yesterday, God intends that “failure” be redeemed. “Failure” can be a great teacher. Observe what you did by looking back over yesterday. Look at where you went astray. And now, correct. What could you do differently in the future? What could you believe differently in the future that would help you to choose to do that behavior?

Getting back on the horse again after a mess-up is all about observing, correcting, choosing.

It is about extending grace.

It is about learning from your mis-steps and struggles.

It is about trading lies that have moved you with truth…doing it even before the lies have a chance to work again. Right now.

What About You?

What lies were at work yesterday that kept you from acting in a way that supported your godly goals of 0 to 5 eating?

What truths can you use to refute the lies?

How might your actions change the next time you are faced with a similar situation?

And if you negotiated through Thanksgiving Day with NO regrets, I would love to hear about it. It is encouraging. Tell us what challenge you faced and how you were able to emerge victorious. You may have experienced the bucking of that horse beneath you, but if you managed to stay on anyhow, we want to celebrate that with you!

A Thanksgiving Day Praise-Fest!

A Thanksgiving Day Praise-Fest!

freedom

When someone asks me what transformed my journey from one of not succeeding, not experiencing victory to being able to release the weight and to stay a healthy weight (for the first time in my life) since 2007, I know immediately that growing in gratitude is at the top of the list. Related to this is my willingness to develop a heart and life of Praise. It really is NOT about the food OR about the weight. God wants to do so much more in us!

The reason that I believe praise and gratitude are such effective weapons against the enemy and my flesh is because:

1.) When I praise and give thanks, I am exalting the Giver…God

2.) When I exalt GOD, I am, by definition, taking my place at his feet…recognizing that HE is the potter and I am the clay–this is a posture of humility

3.) When I take a humble posture, I am not as prone to argue with him about MY food, MY will, MY way, MY body, MY eating, MY MY MY. Instead, I am focusing “GODwardly.”

Today seems like a great day to share yet another praise-fest with you all. I hope this encourages your heart:

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/122025333″ width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

While to me, praise and worship is about declaring God’s attributes and characteristics back to him, gratitude, to me, is expressing thankfulness for his gifts. His gifts are a product of his grace. Again, as I thank him for his gifts, I exalt him. I say, in effect, I am the one in need and he is the one who needs nothing but gives everything.  This transforms me. If I am feeling sorry for myself (something that has often led me to eat outside of my boundaries), practicing gratitude — thanking God for his gifts — or praising Him — proclaiming who He is and what He is like, are sure-fire ways to get me out of my “woe is me” mentality.

I have a 1000 Blessings Blog here. I am counting my way to 1000 of His gifts! Slowly, but I am doing it…and He is changing me!

How About You?

Why not have a praise-fest today? If it would help, refer to these pages: http://heidibylsma.com/step-6/ and http://heidibylsma.com/step-7/

You can also begin a gratitude blog or journal. Here are some thoughts about that: http://heidibylsma.com/step-9-fostering-a-heart-of-thanksgiving/

What will you do to humble yourself today and exalt God? How might that affect the way you view all the tantalizing options available to you to eat today?

Change Thinking for Holiday VICTORY!

Change Thinking for Holiday VICTORY!

Image Source: Stock Exchange

Image Source: Stock Exchange

Are you like many? Dreading the holiday season?

Are you convinced that you will be taken out—knocked down for the count—all because turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie (etc.) have an amazing “left hook” and you feel like you just can’t resist heading straight for disaster in the presence of sweet potato pie?

Are you persuaded that all your good intentions will be for naught at Thanksgiving Dinner tomorrow or the first Christmas party of the season…only to be multiplied in the days to come…so you figure why should I bother trying…I will only fail?

If we take on this fatalistic thinking, we will be convinced that there is “no point” in being vigilant through the holidays. We will put off having any boundaries and wait to focus in January—maybe even after we have gained some additional weight and hardened our hearts further!… After all, we reason, there is an online Thin Within class I can plan to take in January. I will get serious then!

Let’s DITCH 🙂 this trepidation, intimidation stuff.

Let’s DITCH the lies!

We serve the Living God!

He blew the lid off the grave!

The same resurrection power that raised Jesus out of the tomb is available to lift us away from the table and enable us to say NO to another bite beyond 5 (Ephesians 1:19,20).

Do I really think I can’t say no? That is a lie! Time to admit it!

Let’s choose to REDEEM the time we have right here and right now! Yes, even on the eve of Thanksgiving! Let’s embrace the meaning of passages such as these:

Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ,

and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.

– Romans 13: 14

…train yourself to be godly

1 Timothy 4:7b

What if, instead of being intimidated by what’s ahead on the holiday horizon, we were to view this as an opportunity for training in godliness?

Wouldn’t it be great if, by this time on Friday, you could look back over the previous day and rejoice that you had taken captive run-away thoughts (many might be lies) and had emerged a victor, rather than a victim of yet another Thanksgiving Day feast?

Think about it! We have an OPPORTUNITY to navigate through the most CHALLENGING season and to learn a lot as we do—by desperately clinging to God and seeing his grace as a presence, provision, and power in the moment or even by observing and correcting in those rare instances when we “mess up!”

What if we were to truth journal, truth card, Sound Cloud, You Tube, bible study our way through this season instead of just belly up, give in, not care?

Has God called you to boundaries of hunger/satisfied eating? I know for many of us, this is a conviction in our hearts. Then is it really negotiable? Rather than making a provision for our flesh to go hog-wild and eat whatever we want tomorrow, maybe we can make a “provision for our spirit”… by doing as Christina suggested in yesterday’s post and having a battle plan!

Let’s think of the next five weeks as a great opportunity to train for godliness, to grow in dependence on the Lord, to build our thanksgiving muscles (not just tomorrow, but every day). This is a season for training. If we make it through January 1st staying on the horse, or getting back on immediately if we DO fall off, we can do just about anything relative to our eating after these holiday parties and cookie exchanges are over. We don’t need to come out the other side of December looking like the Christmas Cookie Crisco Girls! We can train our spirits AND our bodies so that we have grown closer to the Lord and have released weight, too!

The reason I know YOU can do it is because did it and I was the biggest rebel ever known to exist! So if I can do it, you can, too.  I wrote this post on January 2, 2007, where I share the details of my first holiday season being faithful to God and the conviction that he wanted me to eat 0 to 5 even during the holidays. I had released just over 20 pounds–much of it through November and December! If that is your need, YOU CAN do this, TOO!

How About You?

Honestly, it IS possible for you to emerge victorious on January 2nd! AND it doesn’t need to ruin your holiday fun, too! I can’t promise you won’t have to make sacrifices, but isn’t it worth it? This time next month, you could have shed the burden of some extra weight, enjoyed your holiday celebrations (so far), AND be closer to the Lord! To do that, I challenge you to:

  1. Shift from an intimidation mentality to an opportunity mentality. Think of this as an OPPORTUNITY to TRAIN for godliness this holiday season! Start now! Just think about how much stronger you will be for whatEVER challenges face you after December!
  2. Recommit to 0 to 5 eating boundaries. Ask God to show you if this is what HE wants for you—even through the holidays.
  3. Commit to getting back on the horse again quickly if you do fall off. Honestly, the success we experience in this approach is not by pursuing perfection. It is by refusing to quit. Instead, over time, you will fall off the horse less frequently and stay on the ground less long. So if you find yourself having “messed up,” just get back in the saddle. RIDE! 🙂 FIGHT! It is worth it!
  4. Try this…my friend Barb has a great idea. It has worked for me! Since she knows she may want an extra bite of _______ even outside of her boundaries, she tells herself she can have _______ after she has renewed her mind. You can do this by choosing to do a set of questions in the “I Deserve a Donut” app or the “I Deserve a Donut” book (both by Barb) or even after you have read a post at this blog (or another blog that encourages you). Chances are once you do that, you won’t want the extra bites of __________. Last night I did this when I wanted a second handful of chocolate covered cashews. It worked like a charm. I didn’t want them. I knew I COULD, but didn’t!

So, who of you are IN? 🙂

P.S. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, if you think you need a bit of extra support, you can get some coaching during the holidays. If you are interested in that, have a look at the Coaching page.
Gearing Up for the Holidays

Gearing Up for the Holidays

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The holidays are quickly approaching, with Thanksgiving (in the United States) just a couple of days away.  This means there may be a lot of opportunities to practice staying within our God-given boundaries.  There may be temptations lurking around every corner, but with every single temptation, God has provided a way out.  This is such good news!

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.  1 Corinthians 10:13

There is nothing wrong with the sweets and goodies that surround our holiday parties and traditions.  The Lord has said that ALL foods are hallowed in His name.  I am determined to view all food as being “good”.

 For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving; for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.  1 Timothy 4:4-5

Six years ago, I was practicing the principles of Thin Within for a short time.  I released 5 pounds and was delighted to see that eating within 0-5 truly works!  But then shortly after, I went home around Thanksgiving time and everything came to an abrupt halt.  You see, my grand-parents make the most amazing and delicious turkey dinner my taste buds have ever laid their eyes upon.  That is, if taste buds even had eyes!  Since I knew this was a meal I only partook of every few years, I ate way more than my body needed.  And then there were the leftovers, which were just as good as the fresh, out of the oven delicacies.  And for some reason, I lost momentum and went back to overeating and struggling with my weight and body image.

Looking back, I realize it didn’t have to be this way.  I could have enjoyed smaller portions of their amazing turkey dinner during the actual meal AND leftovers.  And because I did choose to overeat, I could have observed, corrected, and then continued eating 0-5 and releasing weight.  I let the guilt and condemnation weigh me down.  I believed the lies that I would never get back to being a normal eater.  And after this incidence I struggled for years with dieting, eating, and food, all because of one turkey dinner and its leftovers.

I blamed the food.  That’s a diet mentality.

I felt so guilty that I decided to eat more and more.  That’s a diet mentality.

Since that Thanksgiving meal, I asked my grandmother for her recipes.  On a recipe card, I have typed out each step of how they prepare their turkey dinner, from brand names, to minutes of stirring.  I have replicated this meal several times over the last several years, and though it’s not quite THE turkey dinner my grand-parents master, I think I have come pretty close!

You can do the same thing with holiday meals or foods.  When you know that you can have that food later (even if it has to be next Thanksgiving or Christmas), you will find that you can actually relax and enjoy each delightful bite!  Ask for the recipe!  Take leftovers home!  Freeze cookies.  There are so many options to having that food for future enjoyment!

Heidi posted about the importance of being proactive in our eating in her post titled It Takes Energy!.  On one of my truth cards I have copied some questions she asked:

How much energy do you put into lamenting poor choices…after the fact?

                How much emotional energy do we put into beating ourselves up and then trying to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps?

                What if I put some ENERGY into changing the way I think?

What if we went into the holidays geared up and ready?  What kind of truths can you focus on to renew your mind about eating during the holidays?  Do you have truth cards prepared for these moments?

My plan is to go into the holidays being proactive.  I will have my truth cards.  I will type out scriptures in my ‘notes’ section on my phone to read.  I will read through the sections in Barb Raveling’s ‘I Deserve a Donut’ app.  I will pray and ask the Lord for His strength.  I will give thanks.  I will have joy in knowing Christ has come to give us life and peace!

Those are all choices I can make BEFORE the holidays are even upon us.

I can be ready to turn down every temptation.

I can immediately expose every lie of the enemy with TRUTH!

Remember:

  • You can always have those foods again!
  • It’s completely possible to eat within 0-5 during the holidays.
  • Eat what you enjoy!
  • If you did choose to overeat, you can observe, correct, and wait until 0 the next time to eat.
  • ALL foods have been blessed by God and hallowed in His name.  Give thanks and enjoy His provision!

How about you?

How can you prepare in advance for the approaching holidays?  Do you have your truth cards ready and handy?

Written by: Christina

Eating Gluten-Free–an Expression of Freedom – Guest Post

Image Source: Stock Exchange

Image Source: Stock Exchange

Food Restrictions…

….No, I’m not talking about diets.

I now—praise God—believe that all foods are permissible. And I have left dieting behind me. But here’s the rub for me – all foods are definitely not beneficial for me. For health reasons, I do have to exclude all foods that contain gluten from my eating.

About 5 years ago, I experienced several health issues and I was so relieved, after a year of misdiagnosis, when I was finally diagnosed with gluten sensitivity. In fact, I was happy to be told not to eat food with gluten. You see, this diagnosis occurred before I was freed from the diet mentality. So, I thought when I eliminated foods with gluten (bread, crackers, pastries, packaged foods, cookies) that my extra pounds would just melt away. I did experience resolution (slowly but surely) of all of my other health issues, but I was so disappointed that the weight (gained during this time of health issues) did not disappear. But the Lord met me in this place of despair and fatigue and freed me from so many strongholds. But, that’s another story for another day.

Now that I have been delivered from diets and am free to eat all foods, I have experienced frustration because I can’t really eat all foods. I have experienced the following thoughts:

“Well, since I can’t eat the __________ (bread, sandwich, cake, brownie), then I will eat the _________(ice cream even if I’m not at 0, gluten free sweet even if I’m at 5).”
“This isn’t fair.”
“I’m not really getting what I want to eat.”
“I don’t get to be satisfied by what I really want.”
“Everyone else is eating all of the meal and I can’t” or “They have the delicious bread and I have the mediocre GF bread.”

As you can see, many of my thoughts were about fairness. Well, as our parents told us, “Life isn’t always fair.” And if life were fair, the sinner that I am would be condemned to an unsaved life/death. But, unfair as it was, Jesus took on my sin and I am now offered the abundant life.

So, now I try to focus on the truth that I am actually allowed to eat all foods, but I choose not to eat the ones that aren’t beneficial to my body. Eating gluten-free is not a diet at all. It is a choice. I choose to treat this temple of the Holy Spirit well and choose to decline foods that will make it not work well.

I rarely whine about the foods that I “can’t” eat and I simply make substitutions. It is just food, after all, and there is a bounty of delicious foods available to me that don’t harm my body.

So, if you have food restrictions for medical reasons and wonder if the Thin Within approach is feasible for you, it is! You can have freedom! Be grateful for all of the choices you can make and the wide variety of “allowable” foods. I certainly had more restrictions when I was on a diet!

~ Carrie (Not South Africa)

How About You?

Are there some foods that you know your body doesn’t tolerate well? Are there even categories of foods, like those that include gluten, that your body does best without? What if you were to make a list today of all the many foods you can enjoy that are whole-body pleasers for you—foods that you enjoy and that leave you feeling energized, without any negative side-effects? Might it be worth it to make some adjustments to your food selections today, given all the many options that remain?

Thoughts from a Recovered Binge Eater – Guest Post

Image courtesy of jannoon028 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of jannoon028 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In Thin Within we refer to “phases”…it isn’t just a one-size-fits-all, do-this-and-presto! sort of experience.  The phases that are considered a part of Thin Within in the published material are 1.) The Freedom Phase 2.) The Discernment Phase 3.) The Mastery Phase. This may not paint the complete picture for all participants, however. Here is how one  participant, who previously struggled with binge-eating, describes the phases during her own journey so far.

My Phases of Thin Within

1. Eating for hunger: Freedom. When I was first introduced to the Thin Within material, I was exhilarated. No weighing and measuring? I can eat sweets in moderation instead of bingeing on them? Really? I thought I was addicted to sweets and had to avoid them for the rest of my life. I tried to wait for hunger but unwisely let myself get too hungry. I wasn’t eating enough. I ended up replicating the starve/binge pattern that I had developed with my eating over the years. But it was an introduction, and I had hope that this approach could work for me. I just didn’t know how to work it.

2. Eating for satisfaction: Binge-free. With support from Heidi, I moved into phase 2. I started focusing more on eating for satisfaction. The binges stopped abruptly. It was a miracle. But I was still relying on calorie counting and meal patterns (three meals and two snacks) to help me feel safe and to regulate my overall food intake. I was able to have some flexibility around these old rules, but was afraid (and felt unable) to totally cast them off. I was on the path to freedom and incredibly grateful not to be bingeing. In my old mindset, this would have been “in recovery,” but I wanted more. I was on the path to freedom, but not there yet. I didn’t want to be self-regulating my food. I wanted to let go and let God more, but again, felt stymied. I didn’t know what to do to get to the next level (sounds like a video game, doesn’t it?)

3. Discernment: letting go of food restrictions. Phases two and three have been interwoven for me. At first, I was afraid that I couldn’t eat sweets in moderation, so I had only small amounts of sweets and that worked great. Then I tested my limits by eating pop tarts for breakfast and having bread sticks for a snack. I didn’t binge, but I did learn that “everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial” because the more I relied on eating sweets and highly refined carbohydrates, the more sweets and highly refined carbohydrates my body craved, and it felt wrong. I downsized my sweet intake back to where it had been originally: sweets as treats, rather than as staples, and that feels a lot better.

4. Mastery: Freedom in Christ. A whole new level of letting go. This is a prediction rather than a review. I’m not sure about this. I don’t know where I’m going. But I have hope. I’m not bingeing or restricting. I’ve been binge-free for over six months. I’ve learned that my body does not want sweets and highly refined carbohydrates in anything but small amounts. With phases 2 and 3 under my belt, I now feel more ready to let go in the way I tried to do when I started trying to implement Thin Within. Perhaps I’ve come full circle, but maybe it’s a spiral rather than a circle. Now I have freedom in Christ: I am less in charge and have to be more open to the Spirit’s leading. Maybe my meals will be regular and predictable, maybe they won’t be. God is in charge. Until now, I have relied on counting calories as a way to reduce my anxiety – not all of the time, but much of the time. Now I want to turn to God to reassure me that he won’t steer me wrong. One challenge here is that feeling of chaos is almost intolerable to me. I want to trust God, but my ongoing struggle has been not trusting God. So putting myself back in God’s loving arms on a moment-by-moment or at least on an as-needed basis is my directive right now. I am ok. God is with me.

How About You?

Can you identify with this person’s struggle? What phase are you in? What might it take for you to press forward to the next phase? What is God’s Spirit testifying to your heart right now?