I have noticed that there are two types of people in Thin Within:
Those who stay on the fringes of the ministry, dabbling here and there, reading some, participating in a group or two – which I did for years! And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it! I was welcomed, accepted, and loved, and I received much in the way of encouragement and resources. And I learned and grew. But there was no “connectaccountability” – meaning no one knew when I was coming or going, or how I was doing with the program, other than what I chose to reveal in a group.
Fringe-stayers; comfy, but you don’t go anywhere (at least I didn’t!)
But I personally could just not get to a place of fully embracing the Thin Within message or implementing it into my life. That’s why I was SO glad when Heidi and Christina began their small coaching groups, as this was the opportunity I needed to be part of the second type of Thin Withinner:
Those who jump in to the program head-first, with heart in tow, and become participants in a much deeper, real-time, connected way!
Woo-hooooo!!! So glad I jumped in!
This is now ME, too!!! And I like it much better than being in the first group! (Don’t worry, it’s much easier than doing the above jump would be, but it felt almost as scary right at the beginning!)
In fact, I love small group coaching – and Heidi and Christina(!) – so much, I’m now in my fourth group!
Perhaps you have made the jump into joining a small coaching group, and started out, but then got cold feet part way through and opted to pull out.
Or maybe you stuck it out, but didn’t feel you got out of it what you hoped.
No matter what boat you’re in – or not in – I have a few tips that will help you get the most out of your involvement with a small coaching group. Note that many of them are decisions.
1) Decide right up front – as in right now ~ that you will jump in to this program, specifically into your group, with your whole heart, and that you will give it all that you can! This isn’t just about Heidi and Christina giving to us, although they do much of that! It’s about what you bring to – and give to the group. In fact, if you decide to GIVE more than you receive, you will be even more blessed, because, as we all know, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Part of what they do is facilitate us connecting with and blessing each other!
I’ve often gone to a call just feeling grimey, like I’ve failed (cuz I actually had!), and like I need a good cleansing. But after each of our calls, I feel like I have been washed fresh and clean – by the Word, by sharing my heart and being showered with encouragement, love, and compassion. My focus gets changed from being downward-focused, to being , focused on Jesus’ cleansing grace, excited to jump back in whole-heartedly and right-heartedly.
2) Do your prep work for the call each week, as much as possible, not as a legalistic or performance-based thing, not just so that you can check it off your list (which, as confirmed “To-do-a-holic,” I do LOVE checklist-checking-off!), but rather, simply because these assignments are part of the work that God is doing to bring us out of Egypt and into his promised land! In our case, it’s the Promised Land of FREEDOM FROM EMOTIONAL EATING AND BONDAGE TO FOOD!!! I SO look forward to this, but, thanks to these coaching groups, I am much closer to it than ever before!
3) But, even if you are not able to do all of the assignment, or even any of it ~ and there will be those times – decide right now – this very moment(!) – to come to every single call that you’re able to, even, if not especially, when you you don’t want to come! Heidi and Christina are sooooo gracious – ALL of the time!!! Even if we have been unable to do the assignments, we are still just as welcome on the calls! We have ALL been there, and there is no condemnation, and we have still gotten much out of our time on the call, with noone thinking less of us for it!
4) Show yourself GRACE ALL through the process, because that is absolutely the theme of this ministry, and at the very core of Heidi and Christina’s hearts! There have been many times that I have felt like I deserved a little bit of scolding, but that has NEVER EVER happened! I have received nothing but encouragement, grace, and love!
5) Determine that you will discard any and ALL thoughts of self-condemnation! This includes being down on yourself, feeling like a failure, or entertaining any ideas of quitting. Since what we are doing in these small groups is really part of our walks with the Lord – in an area we have heretofore kept in a dark closet of our hearts – there’s really nothing TO quit! This is very much part of our journey with God! We are just bringing an area of our lives into a place of allowing God to have access to it – to heal us, and bring us out of that darkness and into His wonderful light! Sometimes that light can be blinding and uncomfortable, but it’s the only place we’re going to get fully healed!
6) Decide, instead, that when you fail or “blow it,” you will “observe and correct,” and focus only on what you can learn from any failure. And we get plennnnty of practice at this with Heidi and Christina, who simply don’t accommodate any attempts to beat ourselves up!
7) Likewise, decide right now that, when the Holy Spirit shows you any sin, you will repent quickly! No groveling, no retreating from Him, no justifying, no pummeling yourself for doing it again, no pity party. Just quickly come into agreement with the Lord (about your sin) and REPENT! Respond to His loving conviction and come back quickly to Him. Do not allow it to keep you away from Him. He is our only hope for transformation anyway, so staying away from Him will only cut us off from our Source of power and change!
Jesus’ arms – and those of Heidi and Christina and everyone in our small group – are wide open to receive us and swiftly get us back on the path to peace, healing, freedom and victory!
This is actually more like what it feels like sometimes!!!
And finally…
8) Come to each call ready to be vulnerable and share what is truly on your heart! This is not the place to come with a happy-face mask and act like everything’s fine when it isn’t. This is truly a loving, caring, gracious group of ladies, under the loving and wise leadership of Heidi and Christina, and you can be totally yourself, totally vulnerable with them! You will absolutely FALL IN LOVE with these amazing people!
It’s like being part of a living, vital, growing, fruitful vine! We are all connected, all growing together, and in many ways producing sweet fruit together because of the input we all have into each others’ lives on this inter-connected leg of the journey. Yes, it’s difficult but we are in it together!
So – can you see why I am sooooo deeply grateful to be in a Thin Within coaching group with Heidi and Christina?!?
I know weight numbers are not a focus, but just so you know this really works from not only a spiritual angle, but from a physical one as well, I have lost about 30 pounds since starting this Thin Within journey! And I have another 20 or so to lose, which will put me at my natural God-given size, not necessarily “skinny.”
These small groups help me keep “walking in the light” where it’s much more difficult to hide in the darkness than when I’m “Lone Rangering” it! – which is SO easy to do when I am struggling and failing and sinning!
So if you are still on the fence, I encourage you to take this to the Lord, ask Him if this is something He wants you to be part of, and if so, don’t wait another moment to sign up and jump into this! It might feel like you’re about to do this…
…especially when you first join and come to your first group phone call. But I encourage you come to the water, LET GO of the rope – whatever is holding you back – and JUST JUMP IN!!!!
Go to God for everything else that has lured you to eat for other reasons than to fuel your body.
But as simple as this is, it isn’t easy.
What is the road block?
The core of many of our challenges on our Thin Within journeys can be pulled out and dismantled if we deal with two really important issues…
Are you convinced that God is calling you to the Thin Within approach of eating any food between the parameters of physical hunger and physical satisfaction?
Do you wonder if it will work?
Without a rousing YES answer to the first of these two questions and a definite NO to the second, it will be hard for anyone…even with the help of a coach, book, material, testimony, blog article…to convince you that you should get back on the horse, back into your Thin Within journey. You will be likely to struggle a lot with consistency. Perseverance isn’t likely to happen when the going gets tough.
Ask the Lord to meet you and show you if this hunger/satisfaction approach is for YOU because He has called you to it or if it is the most palatable “diet” that you selected from all the options that you could have chosen…is it your will? Or is it what God wants for you, His child?
The FIRST STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles in your Thin Within journey is to prayerfully evaluate if either of these are missing:
–>a conviction that God wants you to use this approach for your eating/body issues
–> an assurance that Thin Within will “work” for releasing weight (if your body requires it) and to give you peace with your body and with food
SOLUTION: If you lack the conviction and assurance that God wants this for you and that this approach will “work” to accomplish what *HE* intends for you:
So often when we have been on diets, we did it because we wanted to get thinner for a reunion, a trip coming up, a friend’s wedding, swimming at the beach, etc. When these are the reasons we begin Thin Within, then–like in our experiences with dieting–when our motivation lags to keep at it because we want to look great for the upcoming event, we end up lacking commitment. We burn out. We throw in the towel. We quit.
But if there is a conviction that God wants me to do this, it takes my motivation to a new level.
The SECOND STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles is to realize the impact of our dieting years and the influence of our culture. We are bucking a long standing system! Be aware of the dieting mentality and how it can undermine our efforts in Thin Within.
Dieting teaches us that we are either successes or failures when we try to lose weight. Our culture is all about performance.
For years we did the pendulum swing…at the one extreme we would commit (like at the first of the year) to a new eating program or maybe even Thin Within. We could hold on for only so long and then we felt like we weren’t doing it well enough and we bailed…or quit…or stopped trying…and swung to the other extreme…threw all caution to the wind.
What we have to do is allow the cross of Christ to stabilize and stop the pendulum swing.
I have often likened our Thin Within journeys to being on a trail ride. In dieting and in other areas of life, the whole point is riding the horse from here to our destination perfectly. It is all about our accomplishment. It is not about the journey. In fact, success or failure seems to be determined by getting to the destination or not. We have been results oriented. Not process oriented. Dieting taught us to be self-focused and very black or white in our thinking.
BUT On the Thin Within journey, riding down the trail and never falling off–as wonderful as that may sound–isn’t our goal! Being really good at getting back up ON the horse instead of wallowing around in the dirt each time we fall off IS the goal. THIS is doing the journey well! When we fall off our horses, we don’t wallow in the dirt. We get back in the saddle and evaluate what we can do differently next time to be victorious. This IS doing “Thin Within well!”
SOLUTION: If you know you are being affected by perfectionism or all-or-nothing thinking:
A. Accept that FAILURE IS A TEACHER, not an UNDERTAKER. Failure is what you do, not who you are.
B. Allow God to use your failures, mess-ups and mis-steps to show you what hasn’t worked. In this way, you can develop a plan of action for emerging victorious the next time by doing things differently.
The THIRD STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles on the Thin Within journey is to see that God’s grace isn’t just a one-time event when we come to Him for salvation. It is an ongoing power, presence, and provision even in my failures.
This is where we apply God’s grace in the tool called Observation and Correction.
With Observation and Correction, God redeems my failures. HE can redeem whatever has caused me to fall off the horse (or eat outside of my hunger and satisfaction boundaries). He turns my failure into a learning opportunity–if I am willing.
Recently, our Coaching Groups were having their last group conference call for the current coaching session. The assignment I had given them ahead of time was to consider looking back over the time since they began their first coaching group and jot down a list of lessons God has shown them through observation and correction. What “corrections” had God given them that are keepers as they go forward?
The results were nothing short of inspirational. It is the heart of grace. It is the heart of Thin Within.
Each one of the participants experienced failures in their lives. By God’s GRACE and wisdom, they had used what they learned from the failures to write down options for making different choices in the future or to prepare for challenges in a new way…like by developing needed skills or renewing their minds.
Counter to our performance culture or dieting mentality, we need to know that messing up with our eating is something that happens on this Thin Within journey. Consider each time you “hit the dirt” to be an opportunity to learn how to “get back on the horse again.” View each time that you are on the ground as an opportunity to practice getting going again.
SOLUTION: If you know you need to grow in applying God’s grace to your journey:
A. Develop and add to a Victory List – each time you recognize that you stopped eating before you would have in the past, or if you pray or renew your mind, or…whatever it might be! Jot it down and keep an ongoing list of the many “baby step” victories that God gives you. Review this list often and go through it, thanking him out loud for each one!
B. Make liberal use of the Observation and Correction tool. (Even better if you keep a running list of the “corrections” that God has given you.)
God may be up to something larger and more important than what size your body is!!!
How About You?
What specific challenges are you facing? How might applying these ideas help? We want to hear from you in our comments section here at the blog!
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Hi everyone!
I have so many things on my heart that I want to share with you, but since I have “mom brain”, I’m having a hard time collecting some of those thoughts. But I want to write something. Anything! So I thought I would take some time to encourage you.
No matter how long you’ve been on this journey, God is STILL faithful! He watches over His word to perform it! He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us! Oh…and He LOVES us!
I know some of you are discouraged. You’ve been trying. You feel like giving up. You just don’t know how to make this all work. And some of you are down right ANGRY because you feel like you are a failure–or possibly because you may feel like God has failed you. You have spent many tears, crying out to God to just help you release the weight, to help you overcome your food addiction, to make all of this easy.
Can I tell you something?
Lean in closely…I’m about to tell you a tidbit of truth that has literally changed my life…
God wants to transform you!
He wants to help you! He wants to deliver you! He wants to help you overcome!
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2
We don’t overcome by following our boundaries perfectly. It’s clinging to God’s Word. It’s spending time with Him. That’s how we are transformed. It’s not our own work. It’s His work. Our part is spending time with Him.
I have seen a HUGE change in my life in the area of food and body image because of what God has done and all it took was me taking the time to renew my mind. What does it look like to renew my mind? For me, it means reading my truth cards at least once a day. Usually that takes place in the morning along with reading my Bible. And then each time I felt like breaking a boundary, I sat down with my journal and ‘I Deserve a Donut’ app (or book) by Barb Raveling. I would write out the questions and answers. If I was in a hurry, I would just read the questions and answer them in my head or out loud. If I was journaling, I would write down a few of the scriptures that really stood out to me. And I still do this when needed.
I believe each time I took the time to renew my mind that the Lord was transforming me. And WOW, I’m so amazed at what He has done! I will share more about that later, but for now I want to encourage you in your own journey.
I used to write about my challenges with my horse, Harley, on a Yahoo group I was a part of. Readers of the posts said they thought that he breathed fire based on my description of him. I had turned him into a 5-headed monster! The truth was, he was spunky and needed reassurance from his human. If he didn’t get that…well, he might…um…buck. 🙂 Yes…BUCK.
Unfortunately for both of us, I wasn’t really situated very well to give him those reassurances. So…well…buck he did. Land on the ground…yes…I did that…frequently. I couldn’t stand the thought of coming off…again and again and again. I just quit riding him in 2005. The fact that I was 100 pounds overweight at the time, certainly contributed to my decision. I was somewhat convinced that my large size *hurt* him to carry! It broke my heart, but I was so tired of failure.
Finally, with the help of a couple of very gifted trainers…who trained me…I dusted myself off and got back on the horse. The above picture was taken, the second time I rode him after a two year lay off. I decided that I was done “giving up.”
You can tell by the smile on my face how I felt about the experience. The thing that strikes me about this picture is I finally overcame my fear and, other than the “death grip” of my right hand on the rein, I am riding with merely a halter! (No saddle!) It is one of my favorite pictures of Harlinator and me because in it, I had come such a far distance from where I had been.
[Note: Here is a video of the first time I got back on Harley after those two years of staying off. This was shot about a week before the photo above was taken. See if there are any similarities to how you feel when you consider “getting back on the Thin Within horse!” Note Melissa telling me to remember to “Breathe!”]
I haven’t come off of Harley in a long while, but when I did the last time, I dusted myself off immediately. I observed where I went wonky. I made note of a needed correction so that whatever-it-was wasn’t likely to happen again. Then I put my foot in the stirrup and lifted myself back in the saddle.
I approach my “eating life” the same way. When I fall off the horse, I don’t wait around until I feel like getting back on. I observe and correct and hop back on up in the saddle. There is fun to be had. Places to go! Adventures to enjoy! I don’t want to indulge myself in self-pity and woe-is-me self deprecation.
So, did you stay on the horse yesterday? Did all your good intentions win out? Did you keep your rear firmly in the saddle and are you smiling big, knowing that you DID it?
Or…Or did you get thrown off? Are you licking your wounds, mercilessly inflicted by the “Ultimate Caramel Apple Pie?” Or just a few too many bites (past 5) of turkey and gravy?
Well, I want to encourage you…you CAN get off the ground and back on that horse right now! 🙂 It is WORTH IT!
I was asked recently by one of my coaching clients…”What do you do when you overeat…when you overeat by a LOT?”
The answer…simply…is you just wait for hunger again. Presto! No big heavy emotional guilt tripping allowed! Instead, just get back on that horse and start riding again. Wait for 0 and serve yourself a modest portion, stopping when you are no longer hungry. It really IS that simple!
I do find it VERY helpful to build a foundation for lasting change if I deal with the beliefs that fuel my actions. Really, I can’t say this enough. We can keep restraining ourselves with “will power,” but unless we change the way we think and what we believe (beliefs fuel actions which fuel a lifestyle), we will find ourselves back where we were before or—worse. At the very least, change won’t be sustained.
God wants my heart more than he wants me to be thin. So it stands to reason he won’t let me be content to just lose weight. I got to the place where I carried 100 extra pounds on my frame because I believed food was a better comforter than God. I got to the place where I sustained such a large size because I turned to food to be my savior instead of to the Lord.
So, it stands to reason that the real work will have to be in my mind.
No, you really probably don’t need to read another book.
… and you probably don’t need to read the Thin Within book again.
Those things may be helpful, sure. But what you may need, if you are anything like me, is to work on what you believe more than what you know. You probably know plenty! But what do you believe?
If you watch even the first moments of the video I referenced above, you will see that I believed that I was going to get hurt. The ride didn’t flow. It was hindered by my beliefs. By the time I was on Harley a week or two later bareback and with the halter, though, I believed that things were going to work between us! What I believe makes a HUGE difference in my actions! Watch the video to see what I mean!
So, what lies were motivating you yesterday if you overate? What truth can counter the lies?
EVERYTHING is redeemable by our wonderful Lord! In fact, no matter what you may have done eating-wise yesterday, God intends that “failure” be redeemed. “Failure” can be a great teacher. Observe what you did by looking back over yesterday. Look at where you went astray. And now, correct. What could you do differently in the future? What could you believe differently in the future that would help you to choose to do that behavior?
Getting back on the horse again after a mess-up is all about observing, correcting, choosing.
It is about extending grace.
It is about learning from your mis-steps and struggles.
It is about trading lies that have moved you with truth…doing it even before the lies have a chance to work again. Right now.
What About You?
What lies were at work yesterday that kept you from acting in a way that supported your godly goals of 0 to 5 eating?
What truths can you use to refute the lies?
How might your actions change the next time you are faced with a similar situation?
And if you negotiated through Thanksgiving Day with NO regrets, I would love to hear about it. It is encouraging. Tell us what challenge you faced and how you were able to emerge victorious. You may have experienced the bucking of that horse beneath you, but if you managed to stay on anyhow, we want to celebrate that with you!
Sometimes, with all the time, effort, and intensity that we put into Thin Within, it is hard to remember that the most important thing of all in our lives isn’t pursuing good health.
The most important thing of all isn’t eating within the parameters of physical hunger and satisfaction—even though, as we do this, we seek to surrender our hearts, lives, thinking, choices to God.
These are noble, important goals, but they are superseded by something that isThe Most Important Thing of All.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.
– Philippians 2:3-7 ESV
What was it that motivated Christ to act while on this earth? We see it many places in the Scriptures, but this sums it up:
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world,
so that we might live through him.
In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
– 1 John 4:9-11 ESV
This has practical applications to our 0 to 5 eating. I want to share with you how by telling a story first. 🙂
I love getting up each morning and having my quiet time. This isn’t because I am godly (as that is quite debatable!). It is because I am desperate. The days I don’t start the day quiet with Him, I feel deflated and defeated. I am desperate for that time of being still, soaking in God’s presence. Since Monday of this week, I have been in the Chicago area with my 19 year old daughter, returning her to Wheaton College for the beginning of her sophomore year. Between jet lag, a busy schedule with Michaela, and my inability to sleep away from home, I am tired!
Yesterday evening, I said goodbye to Michaela for the last time (I thought) as she starts class this morning (I am writing this Wednesday morning, but it is posting on Thursday). Last night, I planned today. My plane doesn’t leave until later in the afternoon, so first, I would sleep a bit later (assuming I couldsleep). Then, I would relish a nice long leisurely time with the Lord. After making my plans last night, I got a text at 11pm from Michaela asking me to come back to see her at the school. I had a choice…to preserve my plans, including a longer time with the Lord? Or take the hour and a half to drive to the school, help my daughter with one last task before class starts, and then come back to the hotel for a shorter time?
I longed to just be still and know that God is God…to be refreshed in His presence. But I also knew that I couldn’t spend time in His presence without Him asking me “Have you loved well?” If I had chosen not to go back to help my daughter with one last task, I know having my quiet time, no matter how valuable, would not have honored Him. In this situation, having my quiet time at that moment, would have dishonored Him as He has called me to love well. I knew in my heart of hearts that He wanted me to help her one more time. (Besides, I wanted one more hug or two!)
This serves as a reminder to me that nothing is more important to God than love. I want to be sure that I love others well — even above insisting on having a quiet time or eating 0 to 5 if there is a conflict.
Sometimes, I elevate having a quiet time or even eating 0 to 5 above The Most Important Thing of All—loving others. God wants to cure me of this legalism.
I don’t think God will often put us in the position of having to choose between loving others and obeying him with regard to our eating boundaries. It’s important to be aware that the human heart is deceitful and will rationalize and justify breaking our boundaries using “loving others” as an excuse. Please don’t let what I am saying here today be fuel for that lie.
The truth is, God wants us to delight in living within our boundaries. But every “rare once in a while,” a dear friend will work hard in her kitchen to bring warm brownies over when she comes for a scheduled visit. The fact that I just finished my lunch before she came and am not at a 0 yet, might need to be set aside for the greater, the Most Important Thing of All… love. I may need to have a small brownie to love my friend well–-even if I am at a 5 already.
I believe that in instances like these, asking the Lord to give His wisdom, we will experience a confidence as to what will be the right thing to do. We can know that, generally speaking, there is nothing godly or honorable about eating outside physical need, but the Most Important Thing of All is beyond that. When faced with a decision between loving well and adhering to my 0 to 5 eating boundary, I want to do both. If I can’t do both, I want to PRAY first with a surrendered heart. Am I WILLING not to eat at this moment if God were to make it clear that THIS was His will? If I can honestly answer that question “yes,” then I may be in the best position to know that right now, loving well means honoring God in some way outside of 0 and 5.
Again, these instances are extremely rare, thankfully. But we don’t want 0 and 5 to become our functional Messiah. It can’t save us. Only Jesus can. And he loves people. We want to learn greater dependence on the Lord, to ask Him for His leading. To respond to His direction.
The Most Important Thing of All is not 0 and 5.
It isn’t a thin body.
It isn’t mastery over food.
It isn’t consistently eating only when hungry.
The Most Important Thing of All is to love God and love others.
How About You?
Can you think of any situations when you had to choose between maintaining your 0 and 5 boundaries and loving others well? What did you do? Looking back at it now, is there something you could have/should have done differently? What will you do the next time this type of situation presents itself?
The FIRST STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles in your Thin Within journey is to prayerfully evaluate if either of these are missing:
The SECOND STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles is to realize the 
The THIRD STRATEGY to overcoming obstacles on the Thin Within journey is to see that God’s grace isn’t just a one-time event when we come to Him for salvation. It is an ongoing power, presence, and provision 
