“Knowing and doing are two different things.” This is a very true statement in many ways. Head knowledge really is not necessarily the truth or the whole truth; in many cases it may just be a fact – like the sun rises in the East and sets in the West.
How can we get our head knowledge to become our heart knowledge as it relates to food, eating, and weight? Now that’s the big $100,000 question! Mind you, I am stating this based on my experience, and nothing else. I didn’t read any books on this or watch any documentaries. It’s all from trial and error. Mistakes made and corrected.
I am actually walking out my truth right now. Here’s the key: Head knowledge cannot become heart knowledge until you put some action behind it and walk it out.
It’s just like faith. Faith without works is dead. Conversely, heart knowledge is like faith with legs.
I used to say, “I know it here (pointing to my head) but I cannot get it here (pointing to my heart). I could not get what I knew in my head to go to my heart because I wasn’t taking any action to get it to my heart!!!
As I’m beginning to apply these principles, I’m beginning to see change in my behavior – which will lead to change in my body. It’s just a matter of time! The scripture “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he” comes to mind.
I’m now applying the principle of thinking myself into victory. That is what I want and I know it will eventually get me there. Immersing myself in God’s truth is such an important catalyst to change and transformation.
I’ve been getting so much truth poured into me it’s beginning to make major changes in me. A constant diet of God’s word that I’ve been reading, speaking, and believing is transforming me into the person I choose to be. It is renewing my mind.
Watching inspirational videos, doing my homework of prayer and application is changing my behavior and my desires.
I’m finding that the food I used to love I don’t desire anymore. And foods I didn’t eat before I now crave. They are definitely much more nutrient-dense foods and are good for my body. This is amazing to me!
Another part to that scripture that blows my mind is that the “heart” of a man IS the mind! Proverbs 23:7 is a powerful scripture towards mind renewal. As a man THINKETH… And where exactly is it that we do our thinking? It’s in the mind, which becomes our heart! Get it? Our mind is our heart. Our heart is our mind; it’s all connected! Let’s read this scripture again.
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
It’s vitally important to not just think the right things, but speak them also.
Here is another one:
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
We become our own self-fulfilling prophecy based on two things:
1) What we speak, and…
2) What we think.
The third element is our actions. Our actions determine what what we believe. If we don’t add actions to what we believe, then there is no faith.
This is DEEP! It is extremely important to listen to what we tell ourselves, because we get back what we speak.
Now that I’m on track, I’m realizing how much my relationship with food has changed. Food was able to stifle any feelings I had, and it did so quickly by numbing the pain.
God doesn’t work that way, so that has taken some getting used to. It’s very different. I’m learning how to be patient.
I’m no longer spacing out every day, nor running to food for comfort anymore. Therefore my emotions are rising up. I’m running to God, knowing that He is not an instant god, like food.
Keeping food in its proper place in my life is different too. Food was never designed for what I put it in my life for.
I am letting God do what only He can do; He can handle it and is a better God to me than food could EVER be.
By exchanging my food idol for God, after I’ve had food on the throne of my heart, I’m learning to have a much better relationship with God, my Creator, who knew me in my mother’s womb.
I was listening to TD Jakes and he was talking about “having misery with the miracle.” The miracle for me is to have food in its proper place; the misery is the feelings that are now creeping up.
When it feels like something is missing, I have to exchange the false comfort that I felt with food for the real Comforter.
Satan offers us a counterfeit comfort, which was food for me. God offers the realcomfort of peace and joy and gives us the Holy Spirit as the Comforter, which is totally real!
So now I’m asking God to fill me up!
Job 23:12 says,
“I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food.”
We cannot have one without the other. The miracle is releasing weight; the misery is eating less and waiting for zero. But I can honor God doing it. And being that living sacrifice and living a fasted lifestyle are what makes it worthwhile.
It’s incredible to have an unclogged mind… to not have to think about food 24/7… to leave room enough to hear the voice of God.
It’s a joy to fulfill His purpose for my life and I am grateful for it!
I want to tell you a story, a true story I will call “My Jonah Story.” I must advise that this story is a bit dire and messy so a word of caution while reading if you will! So, if you’re still with me, here goes:
I just finished reading the book of Jonah. It’s a very short book in the bible; only 4 chapters. After I finished observing and correcting my situation, I must say that I was a little disobedient in my walk with God (how can you be a little disobedient with God?), and I suffered one volatile night, “explosive” enough to not go down this path again!
As you may or not know, I am beginning my path of learning to walk again with Pal, which is what I call my prosthetic foot. It’s been both exciting and exhausting at the same time.
I had asked God to help me do something different, and boy did He answer that prayer! Keep in mind that, for the last year, 90-95% of my time was spent in bed. All I could do was read and read and read, study the word, watch TV, and do homework through Bible studies and Thin Within. I was just tired of doing that, so Pal comes into my life.
As I started putting Pal on, I felt a shift in my thinking. I started to lean towards activity and exercise. I even caught myself looking into some supplements that could help boost me.
My husband was urging me to do that because he had mentioned that he wanted to try one of those green drinks. So I watched the 20-minute video and thought it was interesting. We have a vitamin shop close by, so my husband went and purchased a jar.
I tried one, but didn’t like the taste, so I proceeded to try the red drink instead. The next day I made a smoothie for breakfast and it seemed to work.
Remember I had not prayed about this; I’m just going with the flow. I did say, “God I hope that am doing the right thing here. I’m not sure if you want me to do this.”
The third day I tried a peanut butter smoothie with the drink, and was boasting that it kept my hunger at bay. I really didn’t want any food. So I kept thinking, “I’ll just have a smoothie and one meal and that’s how I’m going to release weight. I’m not dieting. This stuff is going to work!”
Well later on in the evening of the third day, my stomach started to rumble. James, our son, had just gotten home and the lady who brought him home was talking to my husband. She is a sweet lady, but talks a bit much. I needed to get my husband’s attention because I REALLY had to use the bathroom. I eventually managed to get to the commode beside my bed and relieved myself. My husband got me back in the bed and under the covers.
[My word of caution now goes into effect, in case you thought that last bit was “it.”]
Not even ten minutes later, my stomach started again. This time it was too late. I found out I had diarrhea! So after we got me cleaned up and changed the bed and I took some of that pink drink for diarrhea, it was now about 12:00 midnight. I told my husband that, if I have to go, I will brave it out until the morning to keep him from having to get up and not sleeping through the night.
I sleep in a hospital bed. Sure enough, about 3am it started in again. My stomach started to rumble, and continued rumbling on for two more hours. I was miserable, wet, sticky, and stinky.
I may not have been in the deep dark belly of a whale, but I was most certainly in a deep dark mess!
It’s funny now, but it sure wasn’t when I was going through it!! By about 5 am, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to wake up my husband. Can you imagine what I said? I told him I’d had a blow-out! HA! It was more like a sonic boom!
My husband had put a pillow under my leg the previous night, and we had to throw that away in the trash.
Thank God I had a plastic sheet on the mattress or we would have needed to get a whole new mattress.
So I got my answer. This is not what God wanted me to do.
As I think about this hysterical story, who would have gotten the glory for the weight release? I would have. It was my own control and concoction that would have gotten the glory. God would not have been anywhere around.
He is a jealous God; He wants me to surrender and obey him. He must and will get ALL of the glory for my weight release!
I have learned my lesson. And I found out that “God, I hope I’m doing the right thing” does not count as a prayer.
But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving, I will pay that which I have vowed.” (Jonah 2:9)
When I got up that morning, five years ago today, my life changed forever. As I was walking down the hallway, God said to me, “Go to the emergency room.”
As soon as He said that, I immediately asked Sam to take me. Not knowing the outcome, I went, and God spared my life. I am totally convinced of that. He had a plan and purpose for me, and I believe I am fulfilling part of his plan right now.
I believe that I have turned the corner and put food in its rightful place. My relationship to food has changed. I’m eating for nutrition and nourishment in my body and running to God for everything else, instead of running to food for everything.
It feels strange to me, Heidi, but He is making the crooked places straight! I am making lifestyle changes! My desires are changing!
I am in mourning, losing my best friend ~ food ~ and realizing that the enemy sold me a counterfeit that I bought and used as my comforter. That makes me angry. 😡 But he will not steal from me anymore!
We are not ignorant of the enemy’s devices! The truth is setting me free and I’m so very grateful! There is so much joy in my heart now because:
1) I’m doing what God wants me to do, being obedient, honoring him.
2) As I continue to be obedient to Him, He will reward me. Whatever He chooses will be fine with me because it’s in my best interest and he loves me so!
3) He will not disappoint as I put my trust in Him.
4) I have surrendered all to Him the results are left up to him.
I feel like I broke off a huge chunk of a taproot today!
This bondage to food is like a huge tree with very long and thick taproots burrowing deep into the ground. The taproots become larger, longer, and thicker every time we eat when we aren’t hungry. The stronghold (tree and taproots) just get bigger and bigger in our lives.
What is it going to take to remove this huge tree and those very large taproots? It’s going to take spiritual weapons to remove it all!
The length of time it will take to remove the tree and taproots depends on how large the tree and taproots have become in your life.
For me, I became morbidly obese (I hate that term!), so my tree is gigantic, as are the taproots. It is not impossible to conquer this, but will take huge amounts of spiritual weapons to bring down the tree and dry up the taproots.
The spiritual tools I will need to use are: daily affirmations, mind renewal spoken aloud at least once or twice a day, prayer, Bible study especially concerning food issues, self control, faithfulness and discipline.
These will all work together to begin to loosen and dry up those taproots.
Last night I got the strongest urge to eat. I wasn’t even sure if I was hungry. It felt like I was getting a hunger pang, or maybe it was in my mind. I decided this would be a good time to practice saying no to my flesh, so I spoke out loud: “I’m saying no to my flesh.”
Saying no to my flesh is saying yes to honoring God in my eating, yes to walking again, (literally for me!), and yes to getting my life back. Getting my life back is getting my own independence back and doing things for myself again.
I had just heard a statement: “If my flesh is screaming, it’s not dead yet.” My flesh is like a little child wanting its way, having a temper tantrum. When this happens it’s a prime time to offer my body to and honor God. At that moment it becomes good seed to give to God.
So I felt like a huge chunk of the taproot was released last night when I didn’t eat. I offered my choice to not eat to God and honored him. I offered my body as a living sacrifice to God. I gave up food I wanted to eat and offered that to God as a gift.
Not eating is a seed, and when you give God a “not eating seed,” He multiplies that seed to you. He multiplies the seed sown and increases the fruits of righteousness in you. (2 Corinthians 9:10…)
It’s like a farmer planting seeds in the ground. Whatever you plant is what you get! If I plant tomato seeds, I will get tomatoes, not corn. If I plant cucumber seeds, I get cucumbers, not watermelons.
So if I want to not eat as much, then I will have to plant periods of not eating in my life. As I offer that to God, it becomes good seed for him to grow in me. Does that make sense? It is a spiritual law.
Here is the scripture in its entirety (KJV):
Now he that ministereth seed to the sower both minister bread for your food and multiply your seed sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness.”
The same thing happens when we tithe. We give, and he gives back more! It’s a beautiful law that works. I understand this principle financially and have seen God multiply my finances over and over again.
But trying it out with God in the weight-releasing realm was another story. However, God used a “Big D Episode” (being disobedient and paying for it with digestive issues and the like,) to turn my attention to this realm. So I’m beginning to put this scripture into practice in my life more and more, which is key.
It is amazing how God can take small amounts of obedience and turn them into huge victories. Only our God can do that!
Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” (Zechariah 4:10)
“Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.”
I’ve really never been thin. When I was younger I had lost weight but didn’t know how to keep it off. So I ultimately gained it back, and then some.
Now that I understand the process of the farmer, I am using this process to release my excess weight in addition to being patient with the process.
SO WHAT DOES THIS PROCESS LOOK LIKE?
1) First the farmer cultivates the land and tills the soil.The soil has to be cultivated so it can receive the seed. This involves the hard soil being basically chopped up so that the seed will be able to take root in it. Hard, uncultivated soil will not be able to grow anything, except weeds.
2) He plants good seeds. The farmer finds good quality seeds. Whatever seeds the farmer plants is what he gets. He literally reaps what he sows.
3) Heplants in the right season. If he misses the season to plant, he will not get the crop that he is expecting to get. There may be different times or seasons for each type of crop.
4) After that is done and the seeds are planted, hewaters the soilin expectation for the harvest.
5) The farmer waits.He is very patient, knowing that time has to unfold because the seed has to germinate, take root, and then eventually sprout through the soil. Only after this, will it be able to produce the crop, be it corn, tomatoes or beans. There are unexpected circumstances that may hinder his crop, like adverse weather conditions, but his goal is still the same.
APPLYING THIS TO WEIGHT AND EATING
Now let’s talk about planting good seed as it relates to weight, body and eating, and in breaking habits.
What happens in the natural realm happens in the spiritual realm as well.
If the goal is to get a good harvest ~ releasing weight ~ and that is my goal to release weight permanently, everything that happens in the natural realm needs to happen in this process, too.
1) CULTIVATING THE SOIL
If we want to be able to receive the good seed God is going to be showing and giving us, our old “soil” ~ our old way of thinking ~ has to go. This is what “renewing the mind” is all about. Out with the old way of thinking (like the diet mentality; doing it on our own, etc.), and in with the new way of thinking that will ultimately produce a good harvest in us. This might feel like we are being “chopped up,” but it is really just God getting rid of old ways of thinking and doing things that have produced far more damage than this cultivating is doing now. Having extra weight on our body has also been part of “tilling the soil.” But God is going to use this sorrow for good.
2) PLANTING GOOD SEEDS
As we begin to give God our body on a daily basis by giving him our “not-eating moments,” we are planting good seed. I am using those seeds every day to get the great harvest of releasing weight and being healthy. , so the season or timing is now!
The time between dinner and breakfast is great “seed” before God. Most people have problems after dinner or getting up in the middle of the night to eat. Honoring God during these times may be a small (or big?) sacrifice, but it’s great seed before God. I started doing that and broke the cycle of binge eating.
My binge eating usually started at 10 pm every night. That was when I did the most damage.
Another way of planting good seed is to give God your cravings. An unexpected circumstance might set these off. You have a taste for something and it usually hits when you are really not hungry. Again, this is great seed before God because you are giving out of your desire. “I want something good to eat. I want it now, and right now. I want more, or I want it all.” All of these situations are ways to sow good seed before God.
3) PLANTING IN THE RIGHT SEASON
This is simple for our analogy, as it is always the right season, or time, to obey the Lord. And if we have just recently failed, His mercies are new every morning! “If today you hear His voice, harden not your heart” ~ which is what led to the hardening of our “soil.” Just repent and come to Him. It’s never too late!
4) WATERING THE SOIL
As we honor God by giving him our body, we have to water the seed. We do this in a few ways.
One is by faith ~ we wait patiently in expectation for our harvest, knowing that if we give, He will give back to us. He rewards us with our faithfulness.
Another way to water the seed is to claim out loud our truth. Repeating daily affirmations several times a day about who we are in Christ is a great way to water our seed. Some examples of my affirmations are:
I desire less food.
I eat and think like a thin eater.
I am an overcomer.
Food has its proper place in my life.
Or you can write your own.
Tonight I wanted dessert after my dinner but I was full. So I honored God by not eating the small dessert I wanted. I became that living sacrifice. I made a decision to not eat again until the morning. This is great seed before God and he will increase my harvest in the form of a smaller body!
Another way to water the soil is to take one of your favorite foods ~ be it a candy bar, piece of cake or pie, or fried chicken ~ in your hand (or just name it if it’s somewhere else and you don’t want to go near it) and tell God:
“God, I love you more than ________ ( name your food out loud), and I honor you by not eating this today!”
If you are temped by a particular food or if someone is cooking and it smells so good, give that smell and food to God.
“God I honor you by not eating that food that smells so good!”
(Suggestion: If you cannot handle the smell, breathe through your mouth!)
Another suggestion for watering the good seed you have planted is if you have a trigger food or problem food that you just cannot stop eating, give that food a rest for a while by not eating it. I did that with fried chicken and I’m still doing it. I also gave up potato chips for about a year and a half. I just started eating them again, and it was a small bag. But it took me 3 days to eat that small bag that I would have previously devoured in 5 minutes!
I have wanted a chocolate cake donut now for about 5 months and I keep telling myself you can have it, just not today, and it probably will not taste as good as you think it will. That keeps me from eating it.
All these are watering the good seed God is growing in me.
As we keep honoring God with our body, we break the cycle of disordered eating by not eating, and God takes the seed and increases and multiplies it to produce the harvest that we want.
I believe the hardest part of the process is being patient with the process. But we are told in Galatians 6:9:
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap a harvest of blessings, if we do not get discouraged and give up.”
And in Hebrews 12:11 it says:
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, [after a season of waiting] however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
As hard as this process is, I’m looking forward to seeing and enjoying the outcome ~ that “harvest of blessing”!
I’ve never known that, when you do wrong, it breeds more wrong-doing. After all of the progress I’ve had, I overate early this morning and completely fell off the rails.
Just one misstep, and I was back wanting to do wrong today. I want to eat everything in sight.
Now this is where the choice comes in. What are my choices? I have two:
One is to turn off of the TV and reset myself by getting into the Word as much as I can all day. Today will turn out to be a great day if I do that.
My other choice is to eat all day, receiving condemnation from the enemy. He’ll be accusing me and telling me that nothing has changed. He’ll taunt me saying “It’s no use doing Thin Within! I told you, you haven’t changed! It really doesn’t matter. Mind renewal is just hogwash! Just go ahead and eat!”
But I want to tell you the outcome of the day!
I finished well today!
I did not let the enemy get the best of me!
What a huge victory for me. Yes, I fell off of the rails, but only for a short while.
This time was different from all of the other times! I finished by eating a modest portion only two meals after I had blown it!
Had I had this fall in my bingeing days, it would have been a disaster!
But guess what? The mind renewal is working! It’s actually changing me from the inside out!
There are a few words that I have now banned from my thinking vocabulary. These are:
I’ll start tomorrow.
You might as well.
The word less is good; not more.
I still use the word tomorrow, but it has a new meaning and use…
Instead of saying “Well, you’ve blown it, so you might as well go ahead and eat now and just start tomorrow,” I tell myself “You can have that food tomorrow, if you want.”
Next time I will not get tripped up with just one bite. But I’m glad that at least I learned a lot from that trip!
I had a pretty good day today. I’m just working to get my head back into the game. It seems like emotionally I’m a little off, like I got kicked in the gut and I’m trying to recover.
I guess that comes with forgiving myself once again, which I have to say I haven’t done yet.
It might be a good time to just write a letter to myself and then burn it up. I have to get this out.
I feel a lot of regret from my actions simply because I didn’t know that they were going to affect me this way. It is a huge price to pay and I am paying it and, of course, asking God to help me with reversing the decisions or consequences I made by choosing to do different actions now.
I know that doing different actions now will affect my future, so even though I cannot see change, changes are being made.
An example of this: A husband plays a video game for three hours straight, and the wife doesn’t leave him, but if he does that every night? Now there is a problem and it will definitely hurt that relationship.
That’s like eating at night, every night after dinner; eventually it will catch up to you, just like it did me. And the sad part is that you don’t see it happening because it happens moment by moment. That’s how things become strongholds ~ moment by moment.
The good news is it will happen to the good the same way. As we make godly choices moment by moment, we reverse the process and get good results, as well!
The principle works both ways. You cannot see the change either but by doing it consistently, eventually the change will began to take place. You begin to reap what you sow in a good way. The spiritual law is still working, but positively. And then good results will happen.
I kept saying that it’s not happening fast enough. I had to ask myself: Well how long have you been doing godly actions? It will take time to turn it around, and I cannot get weary at the process. It is still a process and will still take time to get the godly results.
That’s where Galatians 6:9 comes into play.
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
I know all this in my head, but now I’m asking God to help me get it in my heart. That is where it counts. Listening to others explain it makes perfect sense. It is a difficult concept to grasp.
We all want quick fixes, but this is not the way it works. It’s so easy to get into, and slowly we are crawling out. Moment by moment, little by little.
The best thing to do is embrace the process because you cannot rush this no matter how hard we want it to happen. It happens when it happens! … Just keep moving forward!
I just read a scripture that hit me right between the eyes: Proverbs 22:3:
“A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes on blindly and suffers the consequence.”
I’m sad to say I was the simpleton. I really didn’t care before; I lived too long with reckless abandon. I lost my foot living that way. It cost me too much.
And I am still paying the price of that decision. It is too high a price for most people to pay. And it’s taking too long for me to pay that price. I will have that battle scar for the rest of my natural life because of those decisions I made.
I cannot and will not continue on that path or live that way any longer.
Now I am listening to God and making adjustments with my eating.
For example, I hated water! Diet soda was all I used to drink. But today was the first day I’ve had a diet soda. My first diet soda for the year. I’ve been drinking flavored seltzer water and absolutely love it!
I also like being able to turn food down now because I am valuing my body which is God’s temple. I refuse to live the simpleton lifestyle any longer.
I cannot believe that I am becoming a prudent person who is more cautious about what I am eating. My desires are changing, and that’s OK with me!