I had a pretty good day today. I’m just working to get my head back into the game. It seems like emotionally I’m a little off, like I got kicked in the gut and I’m trying to recover.

I guess that comes with forgiving myself once again, which I have to say I haven’t done yet.

It might be a good time to just write a letter to myself and then burn it up. I have to get this out.

I feel a lot of regret from my actions simply because I didn’t know that they were going to affect me this way. It is a huge price to pay and I am paying it and, of course, asking God to help me with reversing the decisions or consequences I made by choosing to do different actions now.

I know that doing different actions now will affect my future, so even though I cannot see change, changes are being made.

An example of this:  A husband plays a video game for three hours straight, and the wife doesn’t leave him, but if he does that every night? Now there is a problem and it will definitely hurt that relationship.


That’s like eating at night, every night after dinner; eventually it will catch up to you, just like it did me. And the sad part is that you don’t see it happening because it happens moment by moment. That’s how things become strongholds ~ moment by moment.

The good news is it will happen to the good the same way. As we make godly choices moment by moment, we reverse the process and get good results, as well!

The principle works both ways. You cannot see the change either but by doing it consistently, eventually the change will began to take place. You begin to reap what you sow in a good way. The spiritual law is still working, but positively. And then good results will happen.

I kept saying that it’s not happening fast enough. I had to ask myself: Well how long have you been doing godly actions? It will take time to turn it around, and I cannot get weary at the process. It is still a process and will still take time to get the godly results.

That’s where Galatians 6:9 comes into play.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”


I know all this in my head, but now I’m asking God to help me get it in my heart. That is where it counts. Listening to others explain it makes perfect sense. It is a difficult  concept to grasp.

We all want quick fixes, but this is not the way it works. It’s so easy to get into, and slowly we are crawling out. Moment by moment, little by little.

The best thing to do is embrace the process because you cannot rush this no matter how hard we want it to happen. It happens when it happens! … Just keep moving forward!


Wanda Walker

(See her bio below.)