Just Stuff…

LOL! I don’t want anyone to think I am not posting to the blog because I am derailed. No! NO WAY! God has a hold of my heart…it blows me away even still.

Our online support group met last night and it was SO AMAZING to see how God is at work in our midst! We had a slow start and I know some of the ladies were discouraged, but last night we had a chance to share the way God is affecting change in our hearts *and* in our choices…WHOO HOO!!!

Last night I had a late dinner and I guess I must have wolfed down my food….I realized about 10 minutes afterward that I was uncomfortable! I haven’t felt like that in SO long that I didn’t like it! But worse, it broke my heart to realize that I hadn’t even paused long enough to pay attention the Lord during my meal. I am not used to that either. He has become a constant guest at my table. I relish closeness with him…I love that he has used food to remind me of his constant closeness and concern about my life. Something that the enemy meant for evil…my misuse of food…God has taken to draw me closer to Him. God is amazing! I was so broken to realize my error and definitely observed and corrected, confessed and repented.

I think I will return to a habit that I had previously when applying TW principles. It is that I *always* will leave some of my food. No matter how small my portion, I will leave two bites–one for each dog. 🙂 I have found that when I am thinking about which two bites I will leave (I can leave more if I want) it slows me down as I eat. Isn’t that silly? LOL!

So, today has gone well. Breakfast was a smaller than I thought would be enough portion of my favorite granola cereal with almonds. Boy, that cereal packs a punch. It sustains me so well.

Taking Daisy, the Pirahna Puppy, to agility class, I got hungry. Not the best option, I stopped and got some mini-nutter butter cookies and some almonds. I had about 10 almonds and 5 mini-cookies and was good! wrapped them back up and they are still in my car…unfinished. That is SO not like the me in the past. In fact, this has happened quite frequently. I know God is doing a new thing if for no other reason than stale snacks in my backpack! Before, I would eat them til they were gone!

Lunch was a small sandwich…so yummy and while I wasn’t at a 5 or even a 4 I stopped so the pups could have the last two bites, which amounted to about a third of the sandwich. LOL! After working out in the horse pasture moving 3 tons (literally) of gravel, I was famished…had a little tiny corner (1 inch if that) of brownie and that shaved the edge off my hunger. Waiting for hubs to come home so we can have dinner and I will be ready!

Working with Judy on this latest book for kids is really reminding me of some important things…God is so at work with me to realize that there are changes I need to and want to make. While I *have* been making some better choices with what I eat, I can’t eat fruit or veggies (veggies I can eat only in fresh salsa) because of some issues from my childhood. Things I have wanted to be healed of and have never….resulting in gag reflex when certain foods even come close to me…smell and sight of them makes me start being sick.

Thing is…God is doing and wants to continue to do such a new thing that maybe he will even cause me to be able to eat things that I have never been able to eat without fear and that nasty physical reaction…I need to believe Him for it…and do my part.

If you think of me, please pray that God will truly do a massive new thing. I so desperately want to be able to eat things that grow fresh from the ground….oh it would be such a joy to be able to do that….I know God can cause it to happen and I am totally willing…er…I think.

Heidi