Not Fallen Off the Planet!


Gosh, with my trip last week to bible horsemanship camp and starting school this week, we are in semi-hyper drive and next week all the co-op classes start up (English, Drama, Music)–that will be MAJOR hyper-drive! Preparing for the women’s retreat at the end of next week (I lead worship for that) will keep me distracted, too! ๐Ÿ™‚

But I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth! I don’t think I have ever gone this long without posting an entry to the blog.

My desire is to revamp this blog. I mean TOTALLY revamp, while keeping all the content accessible for those who may want to access “the journey” so far.

I know I said I was going to begin the HEAL study this week. I have decided to start it in October after I find my “equilibrium” a bit with my new schedule. If any of you want to join in or want to know more, here are some links for you:

  • An interview with Allie Marie Smith (the co-author with Judy Halliday) can be found here
  • A link at Amazon for the book HEAL (includes reviews) is here
  • Allie’s website is here
  • Allie’s blog is here
  • Some discussion about the HEAL book at the Thin Within forums is here

In a nutshell, this book isn’t likely to take more than 6 weeks for us and it is a light study. You could do other things at the same time–very unlike the Thin Within book or the Get Thin Stay Thin book–both of which are quite dense. Great stuff, but like one member at the forums said, “This is a Cliff notes version of TW.” Could be, but presented a bit differently with a slightly different audience in mind.

I am shooting for the first Monday in October to begin reading/studying this book for the first time.

In the meantime, I plan on squeezing in time to do some work on this blog and to write some short (ha! ME? Write a SHORT entry?) entries about things God is teaching me. I hope you will join me. ๐Ÿ™‚

Update and Final Assignment!

Hi, everyone. Thank you SO much for praying! Jordan is doing SO well! I am floored! THANK YOU THANK YOU!

The assignment this week is to finish the book. I must admit that I am behind, but I am leaving town this week for 6 days. Harley and I are going to bible horsemanship camp! ๐Ÿ™‚

As you complete the rest of the book, I hope you will, indeed, make plans for how you will get support that you need to remain faithful or to restart! The Thin Within website has great forums for getting and giving support. You can visit those by clicking here. Select a book or workbook to go through on your own or with an online or real life friend. I highly recommend Get Thin Stay Thin as that goes even deeper into some of the reasons we continue to struggle with this issue.

The workbooks (there are four of them) are available from the Thin Within company and if you visit the website you can order them. There is even a sample week of material you can download or print to see if you like it, first.

Anyhow, I hope you will hang in there and maybe even join us for the next study through the HEAL book! ๐Ÿ™‚

Sorry

Hi, all. I was going to post about this week’s assignment this morning, but my dog had an emergency. I don’t know if he will make it. He is home, but I think he may be dying. I could be wrong, of course. The vets don’t know for sure what is going on. He may have had a stroke. I am supposed to give him meds, but I can’t keep food in him.

Sorry about not posting.

After the week I have had with other challenging things and late nights, this is disheartening to me. God has kept me on track with my food and being prayerful. I am thankful for that.

Any prayers for my dog, Jordan, would be appreciated.

– Heidi

Assignment for August 17-23 and NEW STUDY IN SEPTEMBER!

Oops! I forgot to post an assignment!

This week we will focus on chapters 27 and 28 in Thin Within.

In these chapters, we are challenged to apply being conscious of what we do–of being in the present moment–into our schedules and our approach to time management! YIKES! ๐Ÿ™‚

I am convicted that God doesn’t want me to compartmentalize my life but, instead, to offer all that I am to him. That means welcoming his “invasion” into my eating, my drinking, my time, my spending and saving and …well…EVERYTHING!

I hope you will post here what God shows you.

Continue to praise God for his attributes. If you have “fallen off the bandwagon” ask him to show you if it is because your focus has reverted back to you, your body, your food, your size, your clothes… Then ask him for a holy paradigm shift! It is all about HIM! ๐Ÿ™‚

Establish or re-establish and recommit to godly boundaries that you know in your heart of hearts that God wants you to live by for this season. Commit for a week and see how it goes. Don’t head for “overkill,” but if you have been wandering aimlessly for a while, how about starting with one… “I will enjoy food I desire to eat when I am completely physically hungry. Until I reach that point, I will live life with my heart and mind focused elsewhere!”

The past two days have been filled with emotional hurdles for me, but God is growing me to fix my eyes on him in the middle of it and I haven’t allowed my emotions to drive me to food, thankfully. I was on a bad track last week! He has been faithful to rescue me!

Let’s press on! This isn’t over when the book comes to an end. ๐Ÿ™‚

If anyone is interested, I think I will go into Judy Halliday’s newest book after I am done with Thin Within. I have never gone all the way through HEAL. It was written with Allie Marie Smith and is written with younger women in mind, but I imagine God can use it with an old fogie like me! LOL! If you are interested in participating in it, please get a copy of HEAL. It is available from Amazon here. I will probably be starting that about September 7th or so. We will finish it before the holidays–it has six chapters. Short, sweet and power-packed!

Chapter 26 – IS God Enough for Me?

A popular Chris Tomlin song a few years back sang “All of you is more than enough for, all of me, for every thirst and every need, you satisfy me with your love and all I have in you, is more than enough…”

Above is a video from Tangle (a Christian video community) in case you want to hear it.

This song popped into my head this morning, though…probably because I have been living as if it is NOT true. I have gone about three MILES backwards…not just three *steps* in my walk with God. It is odd, too, as I feel a greater closeness to Him in so many ways than I have ever before…yet my emotions are running away with me. Sometimes these emotions even feel like how *he* feels about things. I don’t know how to explain it…well, an example might be when something was done by a group of well-meaning folks at church, as I prayed about it, I felt a sudden overwhelming surge of heart-ache. In prayer, I asked God if this was *HIS* heart about it…and I sensed it was. What I should do with this is give it back to Him through praise and worship…instead, I internalize it or do something warped with it and end up feeling like I want to “numb” myself to it again…like long ago when I did this with all my emotions with food.

So, there I am again, grasping at something to quell the tide…a quick fix, a temporary solution…whether it is my own emotions run rampant, a situation that I feel powerless about, or whatever it may be, I seem to be going after the ungodly solutions…This is SIN. This isn’t justifiable.

Chapter 26 speaks in the Thin Within book speaks about this tendency to grasp at temporary gratification instead of that which brings fulfillment and deep soul satisfaction. I am in a place right now where it is crucial that I have boundaries in place and use discernment to scrutinize everything, it seems. I know that my presence on the search team for a lead pastor likely puts me in the enemy’s sites…that he may want to take me down in some way. Even apart from any enemy assault, I have my flesh which has been trained in recent months away from the path of obedience. It is time to get back to the basics….that God alone satisfies. He alone is the answer for me, for this ache….

The Lord alone can satisfy the emptiness in our souls and the needs for which our hearts yearn….Christ is sufficient. He is more than enough. Thin Within, page 276

Trying to satisfy our God-given heart hunger with things of this world, with anything other than God is meaningless. Thin Within, page 276

We can remain in a place of heart and soul satisfaction when we surrender our will, mind, emotions, unmet needs, and our bodies to our Heavenly Father. Thin Within, page 278

More than all I want

More than all I need

You are more than enough for me

More than all I know

More than all I can say

You are more than enough for me

Chapter 25 – Godly Boundaries – Broadening? Or…?

Earlier in the Thin Within book by Arthur and Judy Hallidays (I think it is chapter 18), the authors show us the value and benefit of establishing godly boundaries. Boundaries are vital in our walks in our “flesh suits” here on earth! We establish boundaries…sometimes to say NO to ourselves about something that we know is outside of God’s plan for us. Sometimes it is a boundary about where we will not let our feet take us, knowing–again–that God’s will is for us not to go there if we want to continue to remain steadfast and firm in the Lord.

Sometimes, during our journey to surrender our food, eating, images of our bodies, idolatry of self to the Lord, we may have to establish pretty stringent boundaries for ourselves initially. For instance, going to a buffet can derail us. If we know that we are at a weaker place in our walks with the Lord, we may want to avoid buffets all together for a season. This is a godly boundary. Or parties. Or ice cream shops. These may be godly boundaries that we have established because we know that we currently can’t cope with the temptation to eat within the 0 to 5 boundary God has given us if we are there.

As we continue on our journey, however, we may feel his leading to allow us to broaden our godly boundaries. The buffet line may not be the temptation it once was…we may now feel the freedom to go to a buffet, but establish a new boundary–that of only going once through the buffet line, knowing that this is a godly boundary for where we currently find ourselves.

It is true, however, that sometimes we take 4 steps forward and grow and then find ourselves suddenly stepping back 3 steps. I am in that place right now. Some huge emotional hits have happened and I know that, right now, going to Chinese buffet (something that has been a favorite for me after church) would be to court disaster for godly eating. I am in a place of feeling sorry for myself ๐Ÿ™ (Just being honest….) and I know when I feel this way, I still can tend to head for food for solace. (I hate to admit this…and, frankly, I was “past” it for a long time, but see that I am back square in the middle of this tendency now…)

Anyhow, all that to say that as we continue to grow in the Lord and walk this path, we prayerfully ask God, “Where should the boundary markers be NOW, Lord? What can I handle without giving in to my flesh? What should I protect myself from, Lord?”

This past week I was at the Christian book store and I found myself very tempted to buy a bible study guide that is a companion guide for a popular Christian weight loss program. I reasoned “I just want the bible study…and it might be beneficial to giving me the ‘kick in the pants’ I need…” As I flipped through the booklet, however, I saw that it had not only what looked like a great bible study, but that it also included recipes and charts and graphs for tracking exercise minutes and calories…For a brief moment I reasoned, “I can just do the bible study…I don’t need to USE those charts and recipes.” A Holy Spirit alarm went off inside reminding me that a boundary was about to be violated…for ME, I have to have to have to keep away from things that are throwbacks to my dieting days. This bible study book would have been that…I could have easily gotten ensnared again in regimentation and legalism of my dieting past.

As if to drive that point home, I found one of my old journals (20 years old!) when I was rummaging around looking for a book yesterday for my daughter down in the cellar where we store things. I was reminded of just how in bondage I was…even while studying the scriptures and praying the stuff through. I worked harder at weight loss during that time, but stayed stuck at the same weight (bigger than I am now) and lamented in the pages that I was stuck and couldn’t break free…all the while focusing on food and exercise to “save me” (as evidenced by what I wrote on the page…).

So, I am reminded that godly boundaries for me have, indeed, fallen in pleasant places (Psalm 16:6).

I want to be circumspect and always allow the Lord to establish where boundaries should be right now–THIS day–in my life. Given my current vulnerability, I know that the boundaries have to be brought in, be a little tighter, closer in…Give me a long leash right now, and I am likely to hang myself.

But I know that this is just a season. ๐Ÿ™‚

What about for you? Do you have godly boundaries? Have you had them for a while? Is it time for you to broaden them? Is it time for you to have new, more “close in” ones? Or, can you now move to being able to experience the joy in environments that you have felt God leading you to call off limits previously? Is he inviting you to step out in faith?

Are you perhaps, more like me, finding that this is a season of life where you need to stay closer to safety? What godly boundaries is God calling you to have for now?

Ask God to show you today. He is faithful!